He made a kissy face and winked at me. My stomach rolled over, and I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“So there was no reason for this? Just bloodlust?”
“Just bloodlust? You say that like you’re disappointed. What’s a better reason for murder than that? Money? Revenge? Lust is so much purer.”
“So you’re a sociopath.”
“Actually, no. I’ve had a lot of time in here to read, sort things out. According to the DSM IV, I suffer from disorganized episodic aggression. I feel empathy, I just choose to ignore it to get high.”
“High on killing?”
“Headaches, Jack. Terrible headaches. Caused by the tumor, probably, but I’ve had them my whole life, and they tell me the tumor can’t be more than a year old. Killing makes the pain go away. I figured out it has something to do with endorphin. Endogenous morphine. The body manufactures it to block pain, and it’s a hundred times more powerful than an equivalent dose of heroin. Killing gives me an endorphin rush. At least, that’s what I think. I’d like to ask all of these shrinks watching me 24-7, see what they think, but I’ve got to keep up appearances.”
“So now that the tumor is gone?”
“Tumor doesn’t matter, Jack. I’m addicted to killing.”
He grinned, his eyes as black and lifeless as a shark’s.
I stood up, not needing to hear any more. I got what I came for.
“Leaving so soon, Jack? But I haven’t told you my plans yet.”
“What plans?”
“For after they let me out. I’m going to be looking you up, Jack.” He waggled his tongue at me, and began to rub his crotch. “We’re going to have a real good time, Lieutenant. I got something special planned for you, and that fat partner of yours. I hated you before, because you wouldn’t take me in Detective Division. Since you put me in this hellhole, I’ve grown to hate you even more. I’ll show you, soon.”
I turned my back on him, and tried to walk to the door without shaking too badly.
“Don’t worry, Jack. It won’t be right away. First I’m going to kill everyone in your life. Everyone you know and care about.”
I pounded on the steel, harder than I intended.
“Give my best to your mom and boyfriend, Jack. Be seeing you soon.”
I pounded again, and Carver opened up.
“You okay, Lieutenant?”
I nodded. But I wasn’t okay. My hands were quaking, and I had an overwhelming urge to vomit.
“Jack?” Herb had concern in his eyes.
“He’s faking, Herb. Faking big time. We can’t let him get out.”
“What happened in there? Do you have the tape?”
I held Benedict’s eyes and grabbed his arms, squeezing hard.
“We can’t let him get out, Herb. We can’t. No matter what.”
CHAPTER 26
“Open cell eleven.”
“Opening cell eleven.”
The electronic lock disengages with a clang, and the cell door opens. Fuller eyes the prison guard escorting him; the man is eight inches shorter, with a neck so thin Fuller could strangle him with one hand.
The skinny guard unlocks Fuller’s ankle irons, while the second guard, a fat guy with a face like a bulldog, stands at the ready palming a can of pepper spray.
Keep looking tough, punk. If I wanted to, I could take away that mace and stick it so far up your ass your breath would smell like jalapeños.
“Thanks,” Fuller says instead. He smiles, playing his role. The thin guy takes off his handcuffs, and Fuller enters his cell. It’s tiny, cramped. A lidless steel shitter dominates one corner, next to a steel sink. In the other corner is a steel cot, a two-inch-thick cotton mattress resting on top.
There isn’t enough room in here to do a decent push-up, so Fuller compromises, putting his palms on the cool concrete floor and his feet on the sink.
“One, two, three, four . . .”
He touches his chin to the floor with each tip, feeling the burn build up in his shoulders and chest. His face begins to turn red, and he smiles.
Jack’s expression was priceless. I practically made her wet her panties.
“Eighteen, nineteen, twenty . . .”
Fuller looks at the cot. There’s a small slit in the mattress, along a seam, with more pieces of onion and some other things. Things that will produce dramatic court theatrics.
“Thirty-seven, thirty-eight—”
The lie detector tomorrow will be fun too. He still has the staple, secretly liberated from his attorney’s paperwork. A staple is all he needs to pass with flying colors.
“Sixty-five, sixty-six . . .”
Everything is going his way. His bitch of a wife is dead, finally. He got his lawyer to pass on word to Rushlo to keep quiet — and the little toady will no doubt follow orders. If all goes as planned, Fuller will be back out on the street soon — probably in a few weeks. Then he’ll pay Jack a visit, make good on his promise.
“Eighty-nine, ninety, ninety-one . . .”
Only one thing is bothering him. Though the doctors assure him his tumor is completely gone, he’s still getting headaches. They aren’t as sharp as before, but they’ve been increasing in intensity over the past few weeks.
“Hundred twenty, hundred twenty-one . . .”
So far, aspirin is helping. But he foresees a time when that won’t be enough. He’ll need to kill again. Soon.
“Hundred fifty.”
Fuller’s feet touch the floor and he stands and stretches, knuckles dragging across the ceiling. He’s breathing hard. There’s a metallic taste in his mouth — he’s bitten his tongue.
The taste is arousing.
After a minute’s rest, he puts his feet back on the sink and begins another set of push-ups. His teeth work on the cut in his tongue, making it larger.
“Twenty, twenty-one . . .”
He closes his eyes, pretending the blood he’s swallowing is Jack’s.
CHAPTER 27
I dialed Libby from Benedict’s car and gave her the short version. The excitement in her voice was obvious.
“I knew he was playing us!”
“We don’t have evidence.”
“But now that we know for sure, we’ll get some. The polygraph examiner we’ve got is the best. He pegged Ted Bundy. He’ll get Fuller too. You did good, Jack.”
“Thanks.”
Except I didn’t feel like I did good. I felt like I’d just gotten my ass kicked.
“You want to be there? Tomorrow?”
“For the lie detector?”
“Sure. It’ll keep him off guard.”
I wanted to say no. I didn’t want to be there. Fuller unearthed feelings I thought I’d buried.
Feelings of fear.
In crisis situations, cops need to have a certain amount of fear. It precedes adrenaline, which makes reactions faster. When I shot Fuller, months ago, I’d been afraid. But the fear worked for me then, heightening senses, forcing me to act automatically, as I’d been trained to do.
Now — the sick feeling in my stomach, the sweaty palms, the dry mouth, the runaway imagination — did me no good at all, other than add to my pile of neuroses.
“Jack? You still there?”
“I just came back to work, Libby. I’m not sure what’s going on tomorrow.”
“The polygraph is at nine A.M., back at Division Eleven. I’ll talk to Bains to clear some time for you.”
“Thanks,” I managed. “See you tomorrow, then.”
Herb stopped at a light, squinted at me.
“Jack? You look sick.”
“I’m fine.”
“You let him get to you. Fuller.”
I tried to smile. “Not a chance. I’m just tired, Herb. Nothing more.”
The light turned green, but Benedict didn’t go.
“I know you, Jack. You’re not yourself.”
Rather than answer, I played the role-reversal card.
“Me? You seem to be having
the granddaddy of midlife crises, and refuse to speak a peep.”
Someone behind us honked their horn.
“I’m not having a midlife crisis.”
“Male menopause, then.”
“That’s not the case. Bernice and I are just heading in different directions.”
“Different directions? Herb, you’ve been married for twenty years.”
Herb turned away, facing the road.
“Maybe twenty years is too long.”
Another honk. Herb hit the gas, squealing tires.
I closed my eyes and thought about yesterday, when my only concerns were what kind of pizza to order, when I’d be ready to make love again, and if I was becoming addicted to Ambien. My troubles seemed to have quadrupled overnight. And for the cherry on top, I got to deal with the very real possibility that a psycho would soon be out on the street, killing everyone I knew.
Herb and I didn’t talk the rest of the drive back to the station. I went to my office, stared at the huge mound of paperwork that had grown on my desk during my absence, and then moved it aside to fill out my report.
After an hour of hunt and peck, I dropped off the report, and the recording, with Bains. Then I thought about getting started on my backlog, couldn’t bring myself to do it, and called it a day.
Back at my apartment building, I was annoyed to hear piano music filling the hallway on my floor. Jazz, and someone playing it much too loudly. My mood was just foul enough to start banging on doors and flashing my badge, but when I discovered the source of the noise, I knew my badge wouldn’t do much good.
“Mom?”
When I opened my door, the music hit me like a wind. I never liked jazz — I preferred my music to have structure and balance. I also never liked piano, having been forced into two years of lessons by a mother who thought it built character.
The living room offered more unpleasant surprises. My couch faced a different direction than it had this morning. It now also had three pink throw pillows on it, which matched the new pink curtains on my windows.
I liked pink about as much as jazz piano.
I hit the Off button on the stereo.
“Mom?”
“In the bedroom, dear.”
I took a deep breath, blew it out, and walked into my bedroom. My mother was hanging a painting on my wall — one of those framed prints available at department stores for under twenty bucks. The subject was a tabby cat, with a pink bow on its collar, wrestling with a ball of yarn.
“Hello, Jacqueline. What happened to Midori?”
“Midori?”
“Midori Kawamura. The CD that was playing.”
“It was too loud. The neighbors were complaining.”
“Philistines. She’s one of the greatest jazz pianists on the planet.”
“I don’t like jazz pianists.”
“Perhaps you suffer from pianist envy.”
I was too annoyed to smile at that.
“Mom, why is my sofa turned around?”
“You had it facing the wall. Now it’s facing the windows. Do you like the pillows?”
“I don’t like pink.”
“You never liked anything girlish. When you were six, all of your friends played with dolls, and I had to buy you toy soldiers. What do you think of your new picture?”
She motioned, with both hands, at the cat with the yarn.
“Adorable,” I deadpanned.
“Reminded me so much of your cat, I had to buy it. Frisky? Where are you?”
Mr. Friskers bounded into the room, onto the bed, and into my mother’s arms.
“Frisky?” I asked.
“Look at him, isn’t he a ringer for the cat in the picture?”
She held Mr. Friskers up, and he did, indeed, resemble his framed counterpart — right down to the pink bow my mother had tied around his neck.
“A dead ringer, Mom. Can you take off the bow? You’re emasculating him.”
“Nonsense. Frisky loves pink, unlike some people. Right, Frisky?”
She stroked his chin, and the damn cat purred at her. I sat on the bed, which my mom had made — much better than I ever had. Not so much as a wrinkle anywhere.
“How’d you do all of this?”
“Alan took me out, the dear man. He’ll be back soon with the plant.”
“Plant?”
“I asked him to pick up a floor plant. This place is so sterile and lifeless. You need a plant.”
Resistance was futile, so I kicked off my shoes and shrugged out of my clothing.
“Jacqueline? You’re not mad, are you?”
“No, Mom. I just had a tough day.”
She set the cat down and put her hand on my head, stroking my hair.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Maybe later. I need a shower.”
My mom smiled, nodded. Then she limped out of the bedroom.
A minute later, the jazz came back on.
I slammed the door to the bathroom and set the shower dial to poach. Ten minutes under the needle spray went a long way toward washing the Fuller meeting off of me. I shaved, deep-conditioned my hair, and used the shower mirror to do some serious eyebrow plucking.
I was wrapped in a towel, moisturizing, when the bathroom door opened.
“Jacqueline? There’s a strange man at the door.”
A jolt of panic gripped me, then let go when I realized it couldn’t be Fuller.
“Does he have red hair?”
“Yes.”
“That’s Latham, Mom. My boyfriend. Didn’t he use his key?”
“He tried to. I had the chain on.”
“Can you let him in and tell him I’ll be right there?”
Mom gave me a small frown, but nodded. I slipped on my bathrobe and wound the towel around my wet hair, turban-style.
Latham and Mom stood in the kitchen, Latham in his work clothes — gray pants, red tie, gray jacket. Mom stared at him like he was something she’d stepped in.
“Hi, Jack. I thought I’d stop by, take you out for a bite.”
My mother smiled politely. “We have plans already.”
I shot my mom with laser eyes, but she pretended not to notice.
“We weren’t planning anything special, Latham.” I smiled smoothly. “We’d love to have you join us. Right, Mom?”
Mom managed to fake an enthusiastic smile. “Absolutely. It would be just lovely, Nathan.”
“Latham,” he and I said in unison.
“I’m sure Alan won’t mind either.”
Shit. How’d I forget about Alan?
“Your boyfriend?” Latham ventured, looking at Mom.
“Jacqueline’s husband,” she answered, primly.
“Ex-husband. He was good enough to accompany Mom into town.”
“He’s helping me with the transition. Wonderful man.”
“Transition?” Latham raised an eyebrow at me. I felt like going back to my bedroom and hiding under a pillow.
“Mom has decided to move in with me after all.”
Latham, to his credit, barely flinched. I held his hand, gave it a hard squeeze that I hope conveyed everything I was feeling.
He didn’t squeeze back.
“Well, that’s wonderful. Jack has wanted that for a long time. She speaks the world of you.”
“How sweet. It’s a shame she never mentioned you.”
I gave Latham another hard squeeze, and then released him to escort my mother before this got worse.
“Excuse us just a moment, Latham. Girl talk.”
I steered Mom into the bedroom and shut the door.
“What is it, Jacqueline?”
“Cut the BS, Mom. You’re acting horrible.”
“Horrible? How?”
I raised an index finger, in scolding mode.
“I’m serious. I happen to love this guy. If you keep—”
“You love him? You never told me you loved him.”
“I never had the chance, Mom. You only started taki
ng my calls recently, and then the conversation has mostly been about you.”
I regretted it as soon as I said it, and my mother’s reaction held no surprises. She seemed to grow smaller before my very eyes.
“You don’t want me here, do you?”
“Mom . . .”
“I would have never chosen to come up here if I’d known you were in love with this man. Has he asked you to move in with him?”
“Mom, we can talk about all of this later.”
“If you love him, why did you kiss Alan this morning?”
It just kept getting better.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I was faking.”
“That was a mistake. Mom, look, I’ve had a terrible day, I just want to get dressed and go out to eat. Can you please, please, go out there and make friends with Latham?”
“I’ll do my best, dear. I’m suddenly not up for conversation.”
I bit my lower lip, wondering how this could possibly get any worse.
Then I heard the front door open.
“Mary? I’ve got the plant.”
Alan. I hurried over, preparing myself for damage control. Latham eyed me as I walked up.
“I should have called.”
“I should have told you. We’ll get through this. Be brave.” I pecked him on the cheek, but he didn’t offer me anything in the way of nonverbal encouragement.
Alan had a large floor plant in his hands, something with long green pointy fronds. He set it down, smiled at me, then noticed Latham and the smile vanished.
“I didn’t mean to barge in.”
“Alan, this is Latham Conger, my boyfriend. Latham, this is Alan Daniels, my ex-husband.”
Neither moved to shake hands, and I watched them size each other up. If they’d been dogs, I would have expected each of them to lift a leg and start marking territory.
“Hello, Alan! What a lovely fern!” Mom made a show of limping up to him and kissing him.
I glanced at Latham. He was staring at his watch.
“So.” I clapped my hands together and put on a big fake smile. “Who’s up for pizza?”
CHAPTER 28
Bloody Mary Page 15
