by Rinelle Grey
“Not at all?” Rowan asked, his tone curious. “Really? Not even looked?”
Why was he was pushing the issue? He was acting just like her sisters, as though she was crazy for not being interested. As though she should be fawning over all those men who were throwing themselves at her.
Didn’t he get it? There was only one man she’d ever looked at in that way.
“I mean, I’ve looked,” Rowan continued, almost as though he were talking to himself. “I would love to find someone who I could care about enough to want to spend the rest of my life with them, but no one ever measured up. No one ever inspired me to chase after them.”
Cari stared up at him at those words. It was almost as if he were saying… Her eyes met his, and she knew immediately that he was implying he was more interested in her than in any of the humans he’d met.
Her heartrate sped up, and Cari found herself holding her breath again.
“There’s a difference between not looking and not finding anything you’re interested in.” Rowan’s words were soft, and his eyes didn’t leave hers. “Perhaps it’s just that none of those mermen were your type?”
For a brief moment, Cari fantasized about admitting the truth, about telling him she’d been in love with him for years, and she’d like nothing more than to become another human legend about a mermaid marrying a human.
But no matter how hard she tried, the risks of that choice wouldn’t retreat. She was finding out more about humans than she’d ever known, and the more she read, the more she realised she couldn’t abandon her people. If any of this was true, they needed her now more than ever.
These human legends might just hold the secret to the problem that had plagued Laquaria for generations.
Despite all that, despite all the compelling reasons she should take a step back, the smile in Rowan’s eyes caught and held her heart. “And you are? Is that what you’re trying to say?” Cari teased.
Rowan shrugged. “I wouldn’t know,” he said evasively. “That’s for you to say.”
The look in his eyes said he wanted to know, desperately.
Cari knew if she admitted the truth now, there would be no going back. And no matter how much she wanted to, she was a mermaid princess. She had to keep her priorities straight.
“I’m not really looking for a mate at the moment. I’m trying to figure out how to get home.”
“Right, of course.” Rowan was instantly all business, and Cari couldn’t help being a little disappointed he’d given up so easily. But she didn’t voice that as he looked back at the legends. “It says here that merrows frequently became tired of living on land and returned to the sea. So that means they could change back. That’s good news, right?”
He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, but also like he didn’t really believe it.
Cari didn’t blame him. “Perhaps falling in love with a mermaid is a bad idea,” she said, unable to keep from thinking of Rowan when she said it. If she returned home, like she was beginning to realise she must, then she would hurt him. And that was the last thing she wanted.
Rowan appeared undaunted. He pointed to his device. “No, apparently some legends say if you find true love with a mermaid, you’ll have good luck for the rest of your life.”
“Well that’s just contradictory. We’re not going to find anything useful here,” Cari said in frustration. There was too much information, and none of it made any sense. How was she ever going to find the answers she was looking for?
Rowan looked up at her, and then he put the device aside. “Not necessarily,” he said seriously. “The fact that there are so many stories about mermaids across different cultures indicates to me there’s some gem of truth in them. We just need to look for the similarities and work with those. Yes, there’s going to be a lot of rubbish in there, but it’s the best we have.”
He was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. Cari heaved a sigh. She was a little daunted about finding anything useful, at least without weeks of searching.
Rowan wasn’t’ so easily daunted. He picked up the device again, sliding his fingers up to make the words scroll. “This page about mermaids is saying there are only female mermaids, I guess that one’s useless because you definitely said there were males, right?” Rowan looked at her sideways.
That information caught Cari’s attention. She frowned. “Only females? But how would that work?” Was it possible this wasn’t the first time her people had been through this disaster of the male population shrinking? Had they found a solution somewhere in the past? If only the human stories were more coherent.
Rowan shrugged. “If mermaids can turn their tails into legs and walk on land, then they could mate with humans. But that’s all pointless speculation because you obviously have males,” he pointed out.
But Cari was only listening with half an ear. Her mind was busy imagining possibilities, ones that were more than a little exciting.
“What if the males only started appearing after we mated with humans?” she said, mostly just thinking out loud. “And once we stopped, they started to disappear again?” It made perfect sense, and it could give her the answers she needed, not only to save her people, but also to allow her to mate with Rowan.
Rowan looked doubtful. “If that were the case, wouldn’t you be starting to run out of males?”
Cari gave a triumphant grin. “We are. We’re down to less than ten percent of births being male. It’s causing a lot of problems in Laquaria.”
Rowan was staring at her, and Cari realised this was the first time she’d mentioned the mermaid’s predicament. Perhaps she shouldn’t have. Her father wouldn’t have wanted her to tell the humans anything, let alone their greatest problem. But if Cari was right, Rowan just might be the person to help her.
“Really? That’s… wow.” He hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Was that why you were up on the surface, looking for a human mate?” He looked like he wasn’t sure whether to be happy or insulted about that possibility.
Cari rushed to reassure him. “Not even remotely. Going to the surface, even letting a human see you, is banned. Mating one would never be accepted.”
Rowan’s face fell even further at that. “No, of course not,” he said, breaking his gaze away and staring at the words on the device. “Look, we can’t even be sure the stuff in here is true. There are plenty of other stories that contain mermen, so perhaps it’s just another made up story.”
He sounded tired and defeated, and Cari suspected it had little to do with the lack of information, and more to do with the fact she’d just reminded him they could never mate. She had to admit, rehashing that hadn’t improved her mood any. Even if mating humans would solve all their problems, getting her father to accept it would be almost impossible.
Neither of them said anything for a few moments.
Then Rowan forced a smile. “It’s getting late, and you’re tired. We both are, after that huge swim today. Maybe things will be better in the morning.”
Cari wasn’t convinced, but she couldn’t argue that they weren’t getting anywhere right now. Maybe some sleep would help. Except she wasn’t sure if she even could sleep without the swell of the water.
“Where do we sleep?” she asked doubtfully.
Rowan patted her leg and stood up. “You can have the big bed,” he told her, “since you’ve never slept in a bed before. More room before you fall out.” He was grinning as he said it, so Cari guessed he was teasing her, but when she saw the ‘bed’, she wasn’t so sure.
It was big, big enough for three people to sleep in. And it was high off the ground with space all around it. “You weren’t kidding about falling out.”
“Nah, you’ll be fine,” Rowan assured her. “People don’t really fall out of bed. At least not often.”
Cari raised an eyebrow. “How do they not?”
Rowan looked uncertain. “Actually, you know, I’m not sure. I guess we don’t move around that much during the night. Or mayb
e we have some sense of the edge, even when we’re asleep. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
Well, it wasn’t like she had anywhere else to sleep. Cari climbed onto the bed nervously, but was surprised to find it was soft, like sinking into sand stirred up by the current. No, softer than that. It was like… she searched around for a comparison, but she could think of nothing under the ocean that was this soft. It was like what she’d imagined sleeping on one of the fluffy clouds might be like.
She lay down on the bed, trying to convince herself sleeping on dry land might not be so bad after all, except as soon as her back touched the bed, no matter how soft it was, her sunburn stung. “Ow,” she said, sitting up.
Rowan was instantly concerned. “I’ll get some more Aloe vera gel. And you might want to try sleeping on your stomach.”
Cari sat up and let him rub some gel onto her back again. Then she gingerly tried to lie down again, on her stomach this time.
Rowan, standing at the end of the bed, gave a laugh. “You put your head on the pillows.”
Cari rolled sideways, careful not to let her back touch the bed. She screwed up her nose and looked up at him. “What?”
“Like this.” Rowan jumped forwards on the bed, and Cari gasped as the whole thing moved under him. For a moment, it felt a little like an earthquake, and Cari clutched at the bed, worried she might fall.
Rowan wriggled up the bed beside her, lying on his side facing her, and putting his head on the objects at the top of the bed. “See?”
Cari tried it, and discovered that the ‘pillows’ were even softer than the bed.
“You can get under the covers as well,” Rowan offered, “though it’s a bit hot for that right now.” He rolled to one side, lifted something up, and showed her. There was a fluffy cover on the bed as well.
Humans really liked their soft fluffy things.
Rowan rolled to the edge of the bed and stood up. “Well, I think that’s the cheat sheet on how to use a bed, so I’ll leave you to it.”
“But where are you going to sleep?” Cari asked. The ship wasn’t that big, and she was pretty sure this was the only bed like this on it.
“There are bunks, out on the side,” Rowan said, waving.
Cari remembered seeing them. They did look vaguely like this bed, only much smaller. She frowned. “You’re much more likely to fall out of those.”
Rowan laughed. “I’m not going to fall out, don’t worry,” he assured her. “I’ve slept in them before.”
Cari looked at him doubtfully. He seemed certain, even a little amused that she wasn’t convinced. She believed him.
But it did seem a little unfair she had this huge bed all to herself while he slept in a tiny, narrow one. “Are you sure?”
She wanted to invite him to sleep in here with her. It would be nice, having him close. But as soon as she thought that, as soon as she imagined him lying close to her all night, she knew it would be a mistake.
The bed might be soft, but she suspected lying against Rowan would be far more comfortable. And she couldn’t help feeling a little curious about what human mating was like.
That way danger lay. She couldn’t even consider making a decision like that until she’d exhausted all her options. And she wasn’t there yet.
“I’m sure,” Rowan assured her. “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Cari.”
Cari hesitated, torn between wanting him close to her and knowing he would be far too tempting.
Even though she was quiet for a long time, Rowan just watched her patiently, maybe with a little bit of longing in his eyes too.
She needed to be strong and remember that she needed to get home.
“Goodnight, Rowan.” Cari was pretty sure there was still some longing in her voice, but Rowan accepted her goodbye with a nod and left the room.
Now Cari had another reason for not being sure she was going to be able to sleep—she couldn’t stop thinking about Rowan. She found herself imagining what it would be like to kiss him again, what his human body would feel like if she ran her hands over it, and what a life here, as a human, might be like.
But somehow, she drifted off, even though Rowan invaded her dreams.
Chapter 13
Rowan lay in the bunk, staring at the light through the portholes. Cari wasn’t awake yet. At least he couldn’t hear her moving around. She must be tired. Yesterday had been a big day. Or maybe mermaids never woke up early? Somehow he couldn’t imagine that.
Rowan felt a smile on his face at the thought. Not the thought of mermaids, which was reason enough by itself to smile, but the thought of Cari.
He couldn’t believe she’d kissed him like that yesterday, and he paused to savour the moment. It meant a lot to him that her feelings were strong enough that she’d done so, and he hoped he hadn’t upset her by pulling back.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested. He just couldn’t bear to be the reason she never made it home. He could see how much she wanted to, and he didn’t want her to have to choose. He knew he couldn’t, and he refused to put her in that position, no matter how strong his feelings were towards her.
Then there was the fact that mermaids were banned from coming up to the surface, let alone mating a human. That meant if she mated with him, then she couldn’t return home, even if they did manage to find a way to get her tail back.
He needed to keep his distance, no matter how hard it was. He wouldn’t be the cause of her being excluded from her home. Cari deserved better than that.
She was unlike anyone he’d ever met. Strangely innocent and yet worldly at the same time. Her reaction to everything, the bed, walking, even his phone, was so fascinating. And yet, every now and then, he saw age and wisdom in her eyes.
In some ways it reminded him of his stepfather, Calrian, when he’d first come to live with them.
She was coping remarkably well with being away from everything she’d ever known, and even better with the fact that she didn’t know how to get back. He wasn’t sure he’d be so calm if he thought he’d never see his family again.
That thought gave him a renewed determination to help her get home, despite the fact that it would mean he’d have to say goodbye to her. He reached out to the shelf nearby, picked up his phone, and began to read through every legend on mermaids he could find.
And there were a surprising number. Nearly every culture on earth had some sort of story about people from under the sea. It was fascinating really. A little like dragons. With the knowledge of the existence of real mermaids, Rowan could see how the legends had evolved.
There were many similarities among them. Rowan grinned wryly at the number of stories of humans being lured to their deaths. He’d nearly joined their numbers. He might have, if Cari hadn’t saved him.
Though he could find plenty of reality in the stories, they were nearly always about the human experience of an encounter with mermaids, never about the mermaid’s experience. And though there were plenty of hints mermaids could return to the sea, the explanations on how were sadly lacking.
He wasn’t going to find the answer in the human stories. What they needed was to find out the mermaid lore. But if Cari were to be believed, mermaids had no record of ever interacting with humans.
Maybe it had all been so long ago the stories had faded away. It wasn’t like they had paper to write them down on under the ocean.
Frustration welled up in him. Cari had been warned about coming to the surface, so someone must know something. But there was no way to reach them. Meaning he had no idea how to help her. It did occur to him that Zara might know, but again he was hesitant to reach out to his brother’s mate.
And not just because she’d once been ready to tell the world about the existence of mermaids. The truth was, Rowan wanted to keep Cari to himself.
Oh, they’d want to help with the best of intentions, but he’d find it impossible to get time alone with Cari again, and he’d have no excuse for why he would even need to. Not without admit
ting the truth.
He just wanted to be with her. He wanted to be the one who helped her, not someone else. Yes, it might be selfish, but he couldn’t help it.
Rowan couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d done anything selfish at all. In fact, he spent most of his life helping out his family and anyone at the resort, to be honest. He gave up his down time and left dates even when someone needed something. And he’d never once regretted it.
Until now.
Maybe it was time to be a little bit selfish, at least for a little while.
Besides, his family was rather overwhelming, and he could just imagine their excitement over meeting Cari. He wasn’t sure how she’d cope with all of them at once.
He’d keep that option in reserve, just in case. There was no harm in keeping her to himself for another day at least.
Trouble was, what were they going to do for that day? Going over the legends seemed to be a dead end, and sitting in the water willing her legs to change back into a tail hadn’t helped at all either. The truth was Rowan was out of ideas on how else he could help.
The more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t help believing that in order to change back into a mermaid, she needed to make some kind of mental shift. And he wasn’t really sure why she couldn’t do that. Yes, his dragon brothers and sister had practiced the shift for weeks until they could do it properly and easily, but even on their first try they’d been able to achieve something.
Cari couldn’t even get that far.
Rowan could see it was starting to frustrate her. And there was one thing he was certain of, frustration wasn’t going to make things any easier.
Perhaps it was time to stop searching for the answer, at least temporarily. Maybe what she needed was a distraction, a little fun to take her mind off her predicament and help her relax a little. But how was he going to do that?
An idea occurred to him, and it made him smile. In fact, he was still smiling when he heard Cari stirring in the next room.
