by Missy Jane
“Oh.”
I had no clue what else to say. I felt a little bad for worrying him, but not much. He’d been such an asshole in his office, what the hell did he expect?
“Look, Megan. I’m sorry about yesterday. I was just having a bad morning, okay? I didn’t mean to take it out on you like that. I just… I’m really sorry.”
I scrubbed my face again, considered and discarded a few responses, then leaned back against the sofa cushions.
“Sorry I worried you.”
I wanted to laugh at my dry tone, which said I was anything but sorry.
“Yeah.”
“Look, Sean. It’s early and I kinda drank a bit last night.”
“Yeah? Who all was there last night?”
I was still a little groggy, but the tension in his voice was hard to miss.
“Me, Elle, Hank…”
I let it hang to get a reaction. I’m not a fan of playing head games, but figured he was due a little payback. He didn’t disappoint.
“And?” he growled.
I sighed. “And? No one else. What about you? Who were you with last night?”
“No one, damn it. Megan, I went by your house looking for you. Would I have done that if I’d been with someone else?”
My head started pounding again and I vaguely wondered if it had ever stopped.
“No…fuck, I don’t know. I think I’m still drunk.”
He chuckled a bit and made me shiver.
“All right. I’m hanging up now. You’ll be at the gym later?”
“Yeah, my usual shift.”
“All right, then. Bye, Megan.”
“Bye, Sean.”
I hung up and let my hand fall into my lap before closing my eyes and drifting back to sleep.
Chapter Four
Working at the gym isn’t rocket science and doesn’t exactly require a lot of brain power. However, it can still be a challenging job when customers decide to be assholes. It just so happened that on Thursday afternoon when I finally stumbled into work, I was hungover, confused about Sean and so not in the mood to deal with anybody’s shit. So of course that meant I got every asshole member who used our club.
“Excuse me. Do you have any more towels or not?”
I took a deep breath and raised my head to smile at the bitch standing at the counter. She’d been there all of five seconds and apparently had a hot date with a treadmill.
“Yes ma’am. If you’ll give me just a moment—”
“I don’t have all day, girl. I need to get moving.”
I just nodded and turned away before she could see the smile slip off my face. Elle had called in again, and though I couldn’t blame her it made more work for me. I finished helping my current customer before grabbing a towel for super-bitch.
“Here you are, ma’am. Sorry about the wait.”
She snatched the towel, grunted and sauntered off. I rolled my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck with one hand. I’d only been at it an hour and was already counting the minutes until quitting time. Never a good sign.
The glass doors opened and a small stream of people walked in. I watched the computer as they each checked in and smiled through polite small talk for a few minutes. I recognized all of them until the last guy stepped up to the counter. He wasn’t dressed to work out, wearing jeans and a polo shirt, not tucked in. His head was completely shaved and wraparound sunglasses hid his eyes. He didn’t have a gym bag or anything else in his hands. I smiled as he faced me for a moment before turning his head to gaze around the gym.
“Good afternoon, sir. Would you like to take a tour?”
He frowned at me and shook his head. “Where’s Elle?”
My smile slipped and I shrugged. “I’m sorry, but she’s not in today.”
“When will she be in again?”
Something about the guy gave me the creeps, but I’d never seen him before in my life.
“I’m not sure. Would you like to leave a number or something?”
He looked around again as if expecting her to walk out at any minute. “No. I’ll be back.”
He then turned and stalked out. A few seconds later I heard a motorcycle start up and watched him drive away.
Dread lay in the pit of my stomach but I had no clue why. Some of Declan’s friends were pretty unsavory characters, but it was only the second day since his fight with Elle. He might not even realize she’d left him yet. Even if he did, what the hell would he send some guy to the gym for? I shrugged it away and sat down.
The rest of the evening dragged on until I’d swear the clock started going backward. Ben tried to hold a conversation with me about some mundane thing, but I couldn’t seem to focus. Sean and Elle occupied all my thoughts, and poor Ben finally gave up and walked away. I watched him go, feeling a bit guilty but not sure how to fix it. It was nearing the end of my shift and normally Sean would have been in by now. His routine was so much a part of him, I wasn’t sure what to think.
Eight o’clock finally rolled around with still no appearance from Sean. I sighed and gathered my purse before clocking out on the computer. It had been a really rough day and I swore red wine was off my list for eternity.
“Hey, Nettle. Heading out?”
I gave Ben a weak smile and nodded. “Yeah. Finally.”
“You looked a little out of it today. You all right?”
I laughed. “A little hungover to be honest, but other than that, yeah.”
He laughed too. “I wondered. I mean…I heard about Elle, but I didn’t figure you two would go out on the town or anything.”
I paused to frown at him. “We didn’t… What did you hear?”
He shrugged and looked around as if anyone cared what we were talking about.
“Well, I heard Declan beat the shit out of her and some guy was looking for him.”
“What?”
“Yeah. That’s what Ryan said anyway. He said she’s taking the rest of the week off to be safe ’cause Declan’s pissed she got some guy on his ass.”
I shook my head and decided I really needed to talk to Elle.
“That’s not exactly true but…ah hell. It doesn’t matter.”
I stepped out from behind the counter and Ben shrugged.
“Well, whatever. If you talk to her, tell her I said I hope she’s okay.”
I smiled at the genuine concern in his voice.
“Sure, Ben. I will.”
I headed for the double glass doors, which reflected the fluorescent gym lights back at me. It was already dark outside so I couldn’t see beyond them. When I reached to push one, it opened on its own and I stumbled.
“Shit.”
“Megan.”
Sean grabbed me as I tried to regain my balance, keeping me from falling face-first out the door.
“Damn it!” I didn’t mean to be so aggravated, but it had been a really shitty day.
“Sorry. I thought you saw me opening the door.”
I shook my head and stepped away from him. “No, I didn’t. You’re late.”
One corner of his mouth went up in a slight smile. “Yeah. Work.”
He was wearing his red shorts, my second favorite, and a black t-shirt, which hugged his chest well. I really didn’t want to ogle him, but he looked so damn good and it was almost habit at that point.
“No gym bag?” I asked.
“No. I was running late and forgot it.”
A couple approached the door and we had to move. Sean grasped my elbow and pulled me outside. He walked me to my car without a word, and I was too tired to think of anything intelligent to say. As I fished my keys from my purse he released my arm and put his hand on my hip. That got my attention and I frowned up at him.
“How badly did I fuck up yesterday, Megan?”
The parking lot was well lit and his expression showed true regret. I had to swallow against the burning in my throat, only then realizing I was close to tears.
I shrugged weakly but then looked him in the eye so he
could see the truth of my words.
“You hurt me,” I whispered.
He looked a little shocked at first, but placed his palms on either side of my face.
“I didn’t mean to…I swear.”
I thought he’d kiss me then, but he pulled me into his arms and held me instead. I melted against him, inhaling his scent and letting his strength surround me. It felt so damn good, most of my anger simply disappeared. His heartbeat soothed me as his warm breath ghosted across my temple.
“I was just…I let something get to me that I should’ve let go of a long time ago. It won’t happen again.”
I nodded against his chest even though I had no clue what he was talking about. I just wanted to stand there forever and let him hold me. He did for a few minutes, but then tightened his embrace before letting his arms relax. His hands stayed on my hips as I looked up.
“Come home with me, Megan. I’ll make dinner.”
My pulse leapt and I was struck momentarily speechless. My body was screaming yes but my head and heart were more cautious.
“Umm…”
He frowned at my reluctance. “Just dinner. Nothing more than you want.”
He raised one hand slowly, as if afraid to spook me, and brushed strands of hair from my face. My ponytail had gotten loose over the course of the night and I hadn’t even noticed. I’d been distracted by thoughts of Sean. But now that he was here offering to take me home I was wary. Would giving in now allow him to be an asshole again later? I closed my eyes as I thought it over and he placed a light kiss on each of my eyelids. His gentleness won me over. I opened my eyes to find him studying me with a concerned frown.
“Um, yeah. That’s fine. Dinner sounds good.”
He released a breath and grinned. “Great. Follow me home?”
I just shrugged. “Sure.”
His grin faded, but he remained silent as I stepped out of his arms and opened my car door. I got in and put on my seatbelt under his watchful eye.
“I’m heading down the frontage road, okay?”
I nodded and put my keys in the ignition. He didn’t say anything else, just shut my door and went to his truck. I released a sigh and shook my head, not knowing what was wrong with me. A sudden funk had descended as soon as he’d offered to take me home but I didn’t know why. Was I worried about having sex with him? I did want to, but not as another notch on his bedpost. He’d never seemed like the type to expect it no matter how many dates we had, but I never really knew what he was thinking. Guess it was time to find out.
* * * * *
Though I had driven and jogged by Sean’s house numerous times over the past year, this was my first time actually stepping inside. It amused me to realize we had the exact same floor plan but with everything in reverse. His master bedroom was also at the front of the house but to the right, whereas mine was to the left. That meant I knew the layout of his home as soon as we walked in. I followed his broad back down the front hall past the living room and into the kitchen. His cabinets were the same as mine and we had very similar appliances. It was almost eerie.
“How long have you lived here?” I asked.
He took a moment to set his keys and wallet on the kitchen counter before pulling a chair out for me at the table. I dutifully sat and watched him think over his answer before pulling items from his refrigerator.
“About three years. Once I’d decided not to reenlist I started looking around for a place.”
“Oh? Where did you live before you enlisted?”
It was a simple question that rolled off my tongue without much thought. However, his reaction clearly showed the answer was anything but simple.
He froze in the act of arranging vegetables on a cutting board and the slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth disappeared as if it had never been. If I hadn’t been watching him so intently I might not have noticed how he stiffened. He grabbed the vegetables and turned away from me to rinse them in the sink. He’d been standing in profile before but now I got to watch his delectable ass. Not such a bad thing.
I waited until the running water wouldn’t drown me out and I could see his face again. He still hadn’t answered.
“Well?” I asked. I almost expected him to play dumb or change the subject but he did neither.
“I lived in Chicago with my father.”
“Really? I love Chicago.” He quirked a brow but said nothing as he began cutting bell pepper into strips. “I’ve only been there once, but the Field Museum is amazing.”
“Yeah. That is one of the finer spots in the Windy City.”
I watched him quietly for a few minutes in the hopes he would elaborate on his life up north, but he just kept chopping vegetables until he had a pan full of stir-fry.
“So…were you born in Chicago?”
I watched his chest expand as he took a deep breath and wondered if he would tell me to mind my own business. He wiped the back of his hand over his brow, though he wasn’t sweating.
“No. I was born somewhere in New York state. My father moved me to Chicago when I was a kid and as soon as I turned eighteen I left.”
I didn’t need a neon sign to know he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I decided to be kind and change the subject.
“I’ve lived in Houston my whole life. I’ve actually only traveled out of Texas a couple of times. I absolutely love it. Do you miss living up north?”
His smile slowly reappeared as he seasoned a couple of steaks on a metal pan. “During the summer, definitely. In the winter when I can wear shorts on Christmas Eve? Not so much.”
We both chuckled at that and he set the pan in the oven. He pulled a bottle of wine from his refrigerator and held it up with a questioning look. I frowned and quickly shook my head.
“Uh, no thanks. I think I drank enough at Hank’s to last the rest of the year.”
He grinned and put the wine away, grabbing two cans of soda instead. “Yeah, you looked a little green for a second there.”
I snorted and accepted the soda with a nod of thanks. “I didn’t even realize how much I’d had until I tried to leave the table. Poor Elle damn near had to carry me to the guest room.”
He laughed and sat down beside me. Our knees brushed and my pulse stuttered. He was watching me and nervousness erupted in the pit of my stomach for the first time with him. Never in the course of our history had words failed me when it came to Sean. Until now.
“Um…”
“Yeah?” he asked.
I sighed and looked around the kitchen, avoiding his intense gaze. He cleared his throat to speak.
“Ma—”
I frowned at his abrupt pause.
“Shit,” he mumbled.
“What?”
He ran both hands over his face and then looked at me. It was an intense expression, as if he was weighing heavy words. It made me nervous but I just lifted my chin.
“I almost called you by another name.”
The admission threw me for a moment before pain tightened my chest. “Oh.”
He frowned and grabbed my hand from where it rested on my knee. “I’m so sorry, Megan. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. That’s never happened before.”
I took a deep breath but the pain wouldn’t go away.
“W-well, I’d say you were probably thinking about her instead of me.”
“No.”
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heart. “Sean—”
“No, listen to me. I almost called you Mari because I’ve been thinking about her a lot the past couple of days, but it’s not what you think.”
I opened my eyes and frowned at him. “Mari Campbell?”
He nodded and lifted my hand to his lips. He ran the backs of my fingers across his mouth before kissing them and lowering my hand to his knee.
“Yeah. You know she used to work for me as a cashier?”
“Yes.”
He took another deep breath and slowly released my hand. I pulled it back to
my own lap and watched him consider his next words carefully.
“I tried to be more than a friend to her and went about things the wrong way. It was plain stupidity on my part, but it opened my eyes to aspects of my personality I’m not proud of. I know you want there to be something between us, honey, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
My breath caught as I tried to decide what part of his statement to concentrate on first. Mari was obviously no longer an issue thanks to Devon Campbell, but what could have happened between them to affect Sean like this?
“What the hell do you mean?”
He opened his mouth to answer just as a buzzer sounded. I watched in silence as he stood and turned it off before opening the oven. He pulled the steaks out, then removed a lid from the vegetables and stirred them. Neither of us spoke as he finished preparing our meal and got everything to the table.
“I hope you like it. It’s been a while since I cooked for anyone.”
I mustered a weak smile and played with the carrot on the end of my fork for a few seconds. His gaze burned the top of my head but I kept my head down until his knife scraped against his plate. When I looked up he was cutting into his steak.
“So what the hell am I doing here, Sean?”
He took a bite and chewed as he seemed to think it over. I watched his throat as he swallowed, praying his answer would put me at ease.
“Sharing a meal with an idiot who enjoys your company a lot more than he’s willing to admit.”
That surprised a laugh out of me and I shook my head. “Okay.”
He smiled and took another bite. I followed suit as he washed it down with soda.
“Megan, I know I’ve really been an asshole, and to be completely honest…you kind of exasperate me.”
I frowned but my mouth was full so I couldn’t yell at him. He held up a hand to ward off anything I might say as he continued.
“No, honey, that’s a good thing. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m kind of stupid when it comes to women. You want my attention? You gotta hit me over the head to get it. You’ve made no secret about wanting to spend time with me and I appreciate it. I just think you should know what you’re getting yourself into.”
