by H G Lynch
After a long, tense moment, Hiro nodded once and stepped aside, giving Reid permission to enter the bathroom. Reid gave him a grateful nod in return and pushed open the door of the bathroom. Ember was standing at the sink, her hair screening her face, half-turned away from the door so he couldn’t see what she was doing. The water was running from the taps and Reid realized that the high-pitched noise she was making was actually words.
“Crap, crap, crap! Get off, damn it, why won’t it come off? Oh my God, Oh God. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m friggin’ insane, that’s what’s wrong. God, maybe I should be put in a padded cell somewhere. That’d be good. No, I’d probably just burn it down. Stupid, stupid, why won’t it come off? Oh my God, I’m actually crazy. I can’t believe I did that. Better be okay. Has to be okay. Please let him be okay. I was mad, but I wasn’t that mad. I’m still mad, but I don’t want him dead. Never dead. God, where’s the soap? Ugh.” She was saying it all so fast and in such a high, panicked voice that all the words were blending into one piercing noise. Then she dropped something and uttered a curse, and he realized what it was that kept clattering. She was dropping the nailbrush. She bent over to pick it up and when she stood up again, she kept scrubbing, kept muttering. Okay, it was safe to say Ember was seriously freaking out. It was time to chill her out.
He took a step closer and saw her putting her hands under the cold water rushing from one tap, still scrubbing with the nailbrush. Her skin was red up to the wrists, and he couldn’t tell if it was with his blood or from scrubbing madly with the rough little brush. She was going to peel her skin off at that rate. Worried, he moved toward her and put out a hand to take the brush from her. She didn’t even notice him until his hand touched hers under the water, and he slipped the nailbrush from her grasp. Then she yelped and whirled, splashing him with cold water, covering her mouth with her hands. Upon closer inspection, he saw she had already started peeling the skin off her hands, but it was healing quickly. He frowned. Gently, he took her hands and rubbed his thumbs across the backs of them, soothing the raw skin. She was shaking pretty badly, and she made a small whimpering noise at his touch. Her eyes were wide and scared and full of tears, her little mouth was trembling. Her lips parted as she tried to say something, but more tears spilled down her face before she could say anything. With his heart – still intact and in his chest, he noted – twisting behind his ribs, he pulled her to him and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly until she stopped shaking. He noticed she kept her hands to herself, kept them pressed to her chest as she leaned into him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she was whispering over and over in a breathless, cracking voice. Her little body gave a shudder and he squeezed her tighter. She felt so small inside the tracksuit. She was so fragile sometimes. It was hard to believe this was the same girl who, just ten minutes ago, had had her fist inside his chest and was seconds away from removing a vital organ from his body. But that was the thing with Ember; she was unpredictable.
“Shh, shh,” he murmured soothing in her ear, her hair brushing his cheek. It was a little rougher than usual, like she hadn’t brushed it, but it still smelled of her favorite shampoo. “It’s okay, it’s alright. Shh, you’re okay. I’m the one who’s sorry, Emz. I’m so sorry. I deserved that, and probably much worse. I’m a horrible, disgusting, stupid bastard and you have every right to string me up and cut me into quarters. You can take my heart out because it’s yours already, firefly, it has been from the start. Please, please, just don’t leave me. Please, let me make this right, I’m begging you.” This was what he needed to say, this was what he should’ve said last night. He shouldn’t have made excuses because there was no good excuse for what he’d done.
Ember shifted against him and pulled back to look up at him with watery eyes – blue as glacial ice, but not icy as a glacier. She was definitely herself again. Those eyes were the ones that always did him in, not the ones that took others out. He tried not to tense under her inscrutable gaze, knowing it would only upset her again. It was impossible to tell what she was going to say next, if she was going to give him another chance – not that he deserved it – or if she would push him away for good.
God, Emz, don’t do that to me.
“Reid,” she said softly, “Was it really Lia that kissed you? Not the other way around?”
He could have sworn his muscles turned to jelly right then, the relief was so intense. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until he let it out in a sigh. “Yes, I swear. She came onto me. I’d never do that to you, Emz, I couldn’t. I love you too much to hurt you like that. Whatever happened with me and Lia…I don’t know what happened exactly, but I didn’t want her. Not the way I want you. I was stupid to follow her out to the forest. I thought it was a little weird, but I didn’t suspect…I should have turned and walked away. I’m so, so sorry.” How could he explain how bad he felt about it? It was like someone was repeatedly punching him in the gut, pulling on his heartstrings with claws, and pummeling the inside of his skull with a hammer all at the same time. Guilt was a vicious beast, and he had the feeling it was going to be his pet for quite a while now.
Ember was silent for a painfully long time, then her eyes narrowed and her expression turned dark. Uh oh.
“That bitch has been grating on my nerves since day one. I think it’s time she and I had a little chat.”
Ah. That sounded…bad. In fact, that sounded like a 999 call waiting to happen. Judging by the look on Ember’s face, someone should make the call now so there’d be paramedics on standby.
“Uh,” Reid said hesitantly, reluctant to piss her off after having just regained her favor. But somebody needed to ensure there wouldn’t be a police investigation at the school. He could see the headlines now: CRAZY GIRL MAULS CLASSMATE OVER CHEATING BOYFRIEND. Yeah. If she didn’t get arrested for assault, she’d at least be expelled from school. “Maybe you should wait until you’re, you know, calmer. You did just try to kill me, remember? I’m not sure pushing your limits is a good idea right now, firefly. Talk to Lia tomorrow. How about for now, you and I watch a horror movie or something? Or go for a hack on Sasha and Butterscotch?” Anything to keep her from losing her nut again. Plus, he really wanted just to hold her for a little longer. She’d forgiven him this time, but next time – and there would be a next time. He would undoubtedly screw up again, just hopefully not in the same way – he wouldn’t be so lucky. There were only so many chances she would give him before he really blew it.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could ride Lightning? I want to try some bigger jumps.” Ember’s face lit up, her anger gone as if it had never existed. Lightning was one of the wilder horses at the stables, a handsome grey gelding with a quick temper. He was a whole hand bigger than Sasha, and more prone to random fits of galloping, but Ember was clearly in the mood for recklessness, and he wasn’t going to deny her.
If a crazy race on horseback kept that smile on her face, he’d risk getting his head kicked in by Lightning. The things I do for this girl, he thought. His mind corrected him, The things you do for love. He told that little voice to shut up and gave Ember a grin as she trotted out of the bathroom to go find her riding boots.
Chapter Nine
** Ember **
Shivering in her black lace-up boots, Ember hugged her arms to her chest as she walked. It was unusually, brutally cold today, a cruel wind making her ears and cheeks sting. Her breath came out in a puff of mist in front of her face, and she frowned. It was ridiculous that she should be so cold, with her vampire resistance, but she had a feeling this wasn’t a natural cold. Something was going on down at Onyx Lake, and Brandon had called everyone to the lake, sounding frantic about it over the phone – how he’d gotten her mobile number, she wasn’t sure, but she’d have to try and steal his phone and delete it when she got the chance.
Ember tucked her gloved hands into her pockets and hunched into the bitter wind, summoning what warmth she could fr
om the air and circulating it around her body. The shivers stopped and she began to feel her fingers again. Really, she should have worn proper gloves and not the fingerless ones, but there was no use fretting about the mistake now.
But one thing she was fretting over persistently was Reid. Oh, yes, she’d accepted him back after nearly ripping his heart out of his chest – which she thought, in a little dark part of her mind, would have been poetic justice, but nevertheless, bad. She didn’t want him dead, not quite, but she figured she’d gotten her revenge, however unintentional it may have been. But just because she wasn’t going to break up with him, it didn’t mean they were okay again. Not by a long shot. She wasn’t so angry anymore, so she could pretend enough to keep Reid from worrying, but she didn’t trust him now. She hadn’t forgiven him by any means. Paranoid as she was, she still wasn’t certain she completely believed him that he hadn’t meant to kiss Lia – She believed Lia had started it, but would Reid have finished it if Hiro hadn’t come along? Ember wasn’t sure.
She’d be watching him. And, she’d decided to mark her territory better, purely in the interest of pissing Lia off. Wearing Reid’s fingerless gloves, having him sleep in her room so she knew where he was, and keeping her hands on him whenever Liandra was within shooting distance were all tactics in her plot. Letting Reid go now would be letting Lia win, giving her exactly what she wanted, and if there was one thing Ember hated more than losing her self-respect – because she was, by keeping Reid around after what he’d done – it was letting a bitch win a war.
Ember Jennings did not back down from a fight just because of a little heartache. Lia was going to learn what it meant to screw with her.
*****
It was dark by the time she reached Onyx Lake, the moon wasn’t yet awake, but everything was crystal clear, shimmering with reflected light. All around the lake, the closest trees to the water were coated in a fine gloss of frost, sparkling as if they’d been spray-painted in glitter. The grass was dusted with ice that seemed to crawl out of the frozen, glacial expanse of the lake. Even the rocky cliff face rising out of the far end of the glistening pool of ice was streaked with lines of silver and pale blue like streams of crystalline quartz. It looked like a winter wonderland had been dropped into the middle of the forest in Acorn Hills. No wonder it’s so bloody freezing. It’s like friggin’ Alaska right here, Ember thought, watching her breath form opaque, frosty clouds under her nose.
Most of the gang was already there, in various stages of freezing where they stood – Figuratively, of course, because Brandon was pacing like a man possessed and Cris and Perry appeared to be engaging in a contest to see who could climb a tree faster without their hands freezing to the icy bark. Ricky had his shoulders hunched, rubbing his arms through his miserably thin hoodie, his bright eyes cutting the darkness like lasers as his gaze darted furtively around. Sherry, surprisingly, was the only one who didn’t look like her blood was turning to slush. She was sitting on the ground quite comfortably, but Ember supposed that made sense. The girl could control ice. The cold was the backbone of her magic. She probably felt right at home and pretty damn powerful right about now. Whereas Ember felt like her bones had ice in them instead of marrow and there was glacial water running through her veins.
She was just looking for Reid and Hiro when the latter mentioned commented from right behind her. “Jesus, it’s cold.” Ember jumped in surprise and turned to glower at Hiro, only to take a step away from him with wide eyes. Those amber cat-like eyes that were so strange in daylight were even stranger in darkness, glowing orange with the watery light reflecting off all the ice. When he was so close, it was discomforting. The tips of his spiky red hair were taking on a sheen of frost, which he pawed away unhappily. Sticking up through that mess of hair were two fluffy fox ears, and there was a layer of burnt-cinnamon-colored fur over the backs of his claw-tipped hands and around his neck like a strange scarf. There was also a silky, beautiful fox tail, swishing back and forth lazily, protruding from the back of his jeans.
Blinking, adjusting to the half-fox appearance of the boy beside her, Ember replied sarcastically, “Understatement of the year, don’t you think? This passed cold a half mile back.” Seriously, it had to be minus nineteen degrees Celsius at least. She couldn’t be exact because her internal vampire thermostat wasn’t as finely tuned as Reid and Ricky’s. But it looked like even the full-blooded vamps were feeling the nip in the air. Ember was sure she’d never seen Ricky cold before. It seemed to make him more uncomfortable and agitated than usual.
Ember’s eyes returned to scanning for Reid and she almost didn’t see him hovering in the shadows of the trees, but the tell-tale flash of his blue eyes sliding across the dark and ice gave him away. He was lurking under the frost-laden branches of a pine tree with his arms crossed over his chest, looking as composed and casual as ever, if seemingly distantly fascinated with the mist of condensation his breath was making in the frigid air. Upon seeing him, Ember’s heart did a conflicted little dance, trying to decide whether or not she was still angry with him. Of course, part of her wanted to rush over to him and have him hug all the warmth back into her, but another part – the nasty, hurt part – wanted to watch ice creep over his skin and form icicles from his limbs. This love-hate thing was a little like when she’d first met him and had been determined to hate him even though, bit by bit, she was falling in love with him. Only, this time it was reversed. Now, she was desperately trying to love him still, while she was gradually being eaten at by betrayal.
She stayed where she was, next to Hiro, watching Reid and attempting to reconcile her conflicting emotions. The wind changed direction briefly, just for a second blowing from behind her, and Reid’s eyes flicked to her as he picked up her scent on the chilling wind. He turned his head, ever so slightly, tilting it in that way he often did when he was trying to decipher something. His eyes, so blue and so bright they glowed quite literally in the fragile shadows, locked on hers, his expression almost questioning. He didn’t move. Either sensing, or seeing, the tension in their distance, Hiro nudged Ember’s arm and she frowned at him. There was a wary concern on his sharp face, along with a tempered guilt.
“Are you…I mean, you and Reid, have you…” Hiro glanced down and bit at his cheek for a moment, obviously trying to work out how to ask what he wanted to know without upsetting her. It wasn’t like Hiro to tiptoe around the hard questions or the brutal truth – Hell, he’d told her point blank about Reid and Lia – but clearly he was feeling bad about the whole thing, about having been the one to tell her the news.
Ember looked away, toward the ice-encrusted lake glistening like crystal. She kept her voice low, not wanting Reid to hear their discussion, but knowing he would anyway – the boy could hear a pin drop from half a mile away. He could hear her heartbeat and breathing from a mile off, and he could certainly hear her whispering now, from only fifty feet away. “We’re still together,” she said bluntly in answer to Hiro’s unasked question.
“You didn’t break up with him?” His sharp eyes flickered to her hands, to the fingerless gloves that anyone in Acorn Hills would recognize as Reid’s. She couldn’t decipher the expression that flashed across his face.
“No.”
“Why? I’d have thought…You of all people don’t seem like the type to—”
“I still love him. I can’t help that. He made a mistake, and as much as I’d like to, I don’t really blame him I suppose. I knew Lia was bad news from the start. She will be getting a visit from me later.”
Her eyes strayed back to Reid and she was unsurprised to find him gazing at her, but his questioning expression had been replaced by a gentle sorrow that bit at her heartstrings. Their eyes met for just a moment before he looked away, down at his feet scuffing the frosted earth. He turned into the tree he was leaning against and she saw his fist clenched against the rough bark. Just then, he looked so miserably self-deprecating, the lines of his shoulders and back weighed with such guilt and regre
t, that Ember found herself walking toward him without knowingly commanding her feet to move.
He must have heard her footsteps crunching across the iced blades of grass, smelled her skin so close, but he didn’t look up when she stopped right behind him. He rested his forehead against the prickly bark of the tree, his fist raised near his head. His eyes were closed, but the line of his mouth was hard. With a tight knot in her throat, Ember reached out and put a hand on his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin and hardness of his bicep through his black jumper. At her touch, he tilted his head slightly toward her, opening his eyes just enough to glance at her boots by the base of the tree next to him. Then he raised his gaze, just for a split second, to her hand on his arm and something – an expression of something like sweet agony – crossed his face as his eyes caught on his ragged gloves hugging her hands. The shadows were converging on them, sliding over the slick ice shards hanging from the tree branches, but all Ember could see was the look in Reid’s blue eyes. It made her eyes prickle, ridiculous that she couldn’t stand to see him beating himself up like this. Love is irrational, her mind reminded her, Ridiculous is as ridiculous feels.
“Reid,” she said softly, waiting for him to look at her before continuing. He didn’t. She moved a little closer, though something inside her twisted in repulsion, commanding her to sink her nails into his arm and dig gouges in his flesh. The urge was a bitter, nasty thing that she was determined to repress. It would go away eventually. “Reid, look at me.” It took a long few seconds, but he finally raised his eyes to hers, just barely, looking at her sideways, still leaning into the tree as if it were the only thing holding him up. His blond hair shone like brass even in shadows, falling forward into his long lashes and making his features look younger, softer – except for his eyes. His eyes were bright and sharp as the glittering ice around them.
