by Emrys Apollo
“I love you.” Antony said, sending knives into Desmond’s skin. “Do not choose who we find. Comes in the most unexpected places. Suddenly the whole world is offset because there is someone else who you would die for. In our industry, that’s a career killer.”
“Then why not give it up? Come clear to me? I would have protected you.”
“There is no way. Had I have told Argent I could not kill you because I love you they would have killed you in front of me, painfully and slowly, then killed me. Was a death sentence for us both.”
“And this wasn’t?”
“I thought… I thought I could protect you. I thought I could make this work. And in years down the line we would be able to walk away, be safe together.”
“You’d live our whole lives looking over your shoulder?”
“If the alternative was killing you, yes.” Antony reached for Desmond’s hands but the man pulled them back. “Desmond…”
“I can’t trust you anymore.” Desmond breathed, his voice low. “I planned my whole life based on your lies. I planned my future with you. I had plans to be with you forever.”
“I have these plans too.” Antony assured. Desmond got to his feet.
“You lied to me, day after day. I don’t know anything about you.”
“You know everything about me. It was not lies, Desmond. Cannot keep up all these lies for seven years. Cannot pretend the way I feel about you.” Desmond shook his head, moving towards the door.
“I need some time away from you.” Desmond said, as if only just convincing him it was the right next step to take. “I’ll get Stuart to keep watch for me, in case they try to come whilst I’m gone-”
“Desmond, please-”
“I don’t know you anymore.” Desmond silenced him, looking him dead in the eyes. “The man I love wouldn’t hurt me like this.” Desmond took himself out of the room before Antony had a chance to reply.
- - -
A decision had been made. Antony’s fate had been decided. Right at this moment, four agents were headed down to the room in which Antony was being held to deliver the verdict. Walk or kill. It was no longer a question that needed to be answered.
It was odd to find the observation room empty. Desmond had been camped out in there for over a week, refusing to let anyone else in. The agents had been prepared for resistance, armed for a fight, but they found nothing whatsoever.
Giving the hand signal to alert his team the coast was clear, the lead agent led the rest of his team through the observation room, lining up by the adjoining door Antony was behind. He took a long breath, looking around at his team to make sure they were ready. This was a highly trained Argent agent at the end of the day. He probably wasn’t going to take well to being ambushed.
They were going for an ambush attempt; try to catch Antony napping so they could have the upper hand and restrain him before he got the jump on them. They had debated the best way to retrieve Antony so they could carry out the verdict, and this had come up as the best plan. None of the key agents were on this mission though, leaving it to the B-team.
The door burst open, waking Antony abruptly. He shot up, alert, but he was already surrounded. One of them managed to get his hands behind his back, pushing him onto the floor. His instincts took over, and his fight or flight sense overcame him. He didn’t even think before bringing the guy who had hold of him over his head, smacking him heavily against the floor. Using the momentum, he launched himself up and got an arm hooked around the neck of the nearest agent. Running his feet across the wall he turned the guy around, wrestling the gun out of his hands and folding his arm back across the guy’s shoulders.
“Stop!” The guy who led the way yelled, his gun pointed at Antony. Antony aimed the gun he had accosted from the guy he was holding hostage. He moved the guy across him, making it more difficult for the lead agent to get a clean shot on him. “Stand down!”
“Do not come closer.” Antony threatened, turning the gun on the man he was holding. “Will not hesitate.” The lead agent gave another signal and the other two men in the room lifted their aim from Antony. Holding his hands up defensively, the lead agent too stowed his gun.
“We’re here to deliver your verdict. A decision has been made.” The agent explained. Antony’s eyes danced around the room. Four men, heavily armed, in the middle of the night. This wasn’t going to be a good verdict.
“Why now?”
“A decision has been made.” The agent responded calmly.
“Why not wait? Why break the news in the middle of the night?”
“Antony Abascal, agent of the Argent organization.” One of the other agents started, reading from a piece of paper. “You are hereby sentenced to death at the wish of the Storming organization for treachery and compromise. You part in saving the lives of multiple Storming agents has been noted, but can’t overcome this decision.”
“Where is Desmond?” Antony said hotly. He should have known this was coming. These people wouldn’t burst in on him in the middle of the night to tell him he could walk away.
“You have no jurisdiction with agent Sharp.” The lead agent said. “We will ask for you to come with us now.”
“And if I refuse? Kill all of you instead?” Antony gritted, his hold his hostage getting tighter as he pressed the gun closer to his temple.
“We have back up waiting right outside.” The lead agent was acting very calm considering Antony had a gun to his guy’s head.
“How about this new plan. You all stay the fuck back and let me walk out of here or this guy gets a bullet to the brain.” Antony stated sharply, taking a step towards the door. The moment he did, three guns were back on him.
“Don’t move, Abascal. We have instructions to kill you right here if you resist.”
“Burn in hell.” Antony gritted, pulling the trigger. But nothing happened. The trigger wouldn’t pull all the way back; it was as if something was blocking it. Antony tried again, but it was to no avail.
“Did you not discover from Sharp that all of our weapons are bio-coded to Storming agents?” The lead agent smirked. Stone dropped in Antony’s stomach. “Barnett was right, you really were bad at your job.”
Antony let the hostage go, the gun dropping pointlessly to the ground. This was it; he had no power here. And even if he did fight his way out of this room, which he could easily do, he was weaponless and defenseless against God knows how many agents that were waiting for him outside.
“Let’s get those hands up where I can see them.” The lead agent said, moving to stand behind Antony. Antony lifted his hands, desperately trying to find a way out of this. He couldn’t walk to his death not seeing Desmond again. He couldn’t die with bad blood between them. Desmond had to know how much he loved him. He couldn’t die thinking that Desmond had questions about anything.
“I want to see Desmond.” Antony said again, trying to stop his voice wavering. The lead agent pushed his gun into the small of Antony’s back.
“Just walk.”
The blast back from the explosion sent everyone crashing to the ground. Antony threw his hands over his head, cowering from the falling debris that showered down on top of him. He felt the shards of concrete cutting across his skin, but thankfully nothing more terminal that that seemed to befall him. His ears began to ring in the fallout as the dust settled. There was movement from all around him, but he couldn’t make sense of anything.
“Is it Argent?”
“How did they get in?”
“There is one around the-”
Four shots sounded off. Four shots for the four agents that had been in the room with him. Antony laid very still, hoping whoever had blasted in would already think he was dead. If it was Argent agents they would be after his blood, and not in a nice way.
“He’s here!” A voice called from above Antony. He tried to press himself into the ground but an arm was on his. He tried to throw the guy off him, land a punch and get free, but he was still too disorientated
by the blast that had knocked him off his feet. The blonde easily caught his fist, turning it back on him and pushing him into an arm lock. “Lucky fucker looks fine.”
“Are you helping or not?” Antony’s heart skipped a beat and the floor felt like it was pulled from underneath him; he’d recognize that voice anywhere. Desmond tilted his head up, looking in his eyes. “You okay to move?” Antony nodded weakly, slumping into Desmond a little as the blonde on his arm let go.
“We’ve been detected. Backup here in less than three. I did what I could with the door.” Stuart said, climbing over the rubble. Jody helped him over, heading for the hole in the wall they had created. Desmond secured his hold on Antony, letting the man lean into him.
“Come on.” Desmond said gently, encouraging Antony to follow him. It didn’t take much; Antony would have followed Desmond blindly anywhere.
“You shot your guys…” Antony said sadly as they clambered down the makeshift tunnel Desmond, Jody and Stuart had clearly planned. Desmond shook his head.
“Just tranquilizers. They’ll all be fine.”
“You went against your team.” Antony pointed out, looking up at Desmond.
“They’ll think it was your guys. As far as they know we’re all tucked up in bed.” Antony shook his head.
“Could get yourself in so much trouble.”
“Stop worrying.” Desmond said, pushing Antony down a smaller gap in the wall you wouldn’t see unless you knew it was there. Checking the coast was clear, Desmond took a grenade from his belt, pulling the pin and launching it in the opposite direction. It would blow through the wall, making it look even more like someone had come in from the outside. Antony and he squeezed quickly through the gap, ending up in a room inside the Storming facility. Jody and Stuart were already inside, with Stuart sliding a cupboard back over the gap as soon as the duo were in.
“I’ve got security down but you’ve only got about ninety seconds before they realize and fix it.” Jody said from behind his laptop screen. Desmond took Antony’s hand, leading him towards the door.
“Direction?”
“Third door on the left. The lights will flicker and that’s your cue to get to the stairs.” Stuart said, crossing to Jody.
“Roger that.” Desmond nodded, pulling open the door. He turned briefly to Antony. “You good to run.” Antony nodded, the adrenaline still pulsing through him and keeping any pain at bay for now. Desmond pulled him out the door, sprinting down the corridor to the room Stuart had instructed him to. Again, he pushed Antony in fast, just about getting them both hidden as their ninety seconds ticked out.
“Thought Jody hated me.” Antony whispered as they stood pressed against the wall, waiting for the lights to flicker.
“Jody does hate you.” Desmond responded, eyes not leaving the lights. Antony didn’t have a chance to respond, for at the smallest flicker of the lights Desmond had grabbed his hand again, pulling him out of the room. The corridor plunged into darkness as Desmond stepped out, and Antony knew it wouldn’t last long. Just long enough for them to get to the stairs.
“Why is he helping me?” Antony asked as they rushed down the stairs, still in darkness.
“He’s helping me.” Desmond sent back, yanking Antony down the last few steps as he pushed open a door. The cold evening air wrapped around Antony, instantly making him shiver. He took a step towards Desmond, craving his body heat, but Desmond moved away from him as soon as they were out the door, dropping his hand. Antony hugged himself as he watched Desmond move to some nearby brush, retrieving a bag. It hit him with a smack as Desmond threw it in his direction, clattering to the floor. “Go.”
“Where am I meeting you?” Antony asked, as Desmond slipped his jacket off, throwing that towards him too. Antony pulled it on, swinging the bag onto his shoulder as Desmond folded his arms. He looked up at the man when he still hadn’t responded. It hit him like a ton of bricks. “You’re not coming with me.”
“I can’t.” Desmond said, trying to keep his voice strong. Antony shook his head.
“You can. We go together now. We just leave. Disappear.”
“No, mate. That’s what you need to do.”
“Desmond-”
“Argent want you dead. Storming want you dead… I can’t protect you anymore.”
“You can. We protect each other.” Antony pleaded, dropping the bag and moving closer to Desmond. Desmond held him back, looking away.
“I can’t… I can’t forgive you. You’ve hurt me in a way I never thought anyone could. I don’t trust you anymore.”
“Desmond, please. We fight through so much. We are stronger than this.”
“We’re not.” Desmond said harshly. Antony threw his arms around him, holding onto him tightly. Desmond tried to get him off but Antony wasn’t having any of it.
“You are just saying this. You know, you know we can fight through anything. Will not leave you now. Gave up so much to keep you alive because I love you. We love each other so much. Cannot live without each other.”
“We can.” Desmond tried. Antony shook his head.
“We can’t. You have been a man possessed without me. You are reckless and stupid. We ground each other.”
“I was only reckless because I thought you were worth saving.” Desmond sent savagely, but Antony was confident they were just words. Just words to make sending Antony off easier. If Antony could just remind him of what they had, he knew Desmond would come with him and they could live out their lives together. “You’re not worth living looking over my shoulder for.” Desmond bit, tears stinging in his eyes.
Antony rose on his toes, crashing his lips against Desmond’s. His fingers tangled into Desmond’s hair as he dragged him closer, passionately kissing him with all the love he had in him. He could feel Desmond’s body opening up to him, feel the resistance loosening as Desmond’s hands found his waist, his fingers tightening on the jacket around Antony. He pushed closer, slipping one hand down Desmond’s body and up the back of his shirt, his cold digitals dancing along the hot flesh.
“Stop…” Desmond begged, pushing Antony back. Antony tried to align their lips back together, knowing Desmond was close to remembering what they had together. He could feel Desmond’s lips chasing his, the grip on his waist tightening. “I can’t…”
“Shhh,” Antony soothed. “It’s ok. You have me.” He kissed softly across Desmond’s cheek. Desmond’s grip on his waist turned to palms pushing him back.
“No.” He told the floor. Antony took a step back towards Desmond but Desmond stepped back. “I’m serious.”
“Why are you doing this?” Antony asked, tears starting to form in his eyes. Desmond couldn’t look at him.
“Because I don’t love you anymore.” He muttered. Antony shook his head.
“That’s a lie.”
“It’s not.”
“You are lying.”
“I don’t love you.” Desmond snapped, glaring at Antony. The words hit the man with a punch. “How could I love someone like you?”
“Desmond…”
“I’m doing you a favor here, saving your life,” Desmond spat. “But I never want to see you again.”
“Then let them kill me! Death is better than this.” Antony snarled back, tears splashing down his cheeks. Desmond shook his head.
“You have to live with your mistakes, not get the easy way out.”
“You still love me. Know it.” Antony tried, but Desmond just barged past him, heading back towards the Storming building.
“Do what you do best and hide. If I ever see you again I won’t hesitate to shoot.” Desmond said, not looking back at Antony. Antony reached for his hand but his reach was a fraction too short, leaving him brushing the edge of Desmond’s hand, but not by enough to hold on. He knew if Desmond stepped back inside the Storming building it was over; he couldn’t follow him in there. But the fight in him was gone and the words that were on his lips died before they were aired. He just watched helplessly as Desmond
disappeared from sight, returning to the world Antony wanted them to both run from.
He tried to blink the tears out of his eyes as he collected back up the bag Desmond had given him. Antony just couldn’t believe that Desmond didn’t love him anymore. Hate him, probably and rightfully so - he’d betrayed him so much since he’d met him. But to stop loving him? Antony couldn’t get his head around it. The feelings he felt for Desmond were so intense, so deep, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to shut them off. He was certain Desmond felt the same.
But he had walked away. He had left Antony out in the cold with nothing but a jacket and a bag of supplies to survive with. Maybe one day they would find each other again. Their paths would cross because they were meant to be, and Desmond would realize what he had been missing, realized he’d thrown away his other half. Antony couldn’t believe that feeling was one-sided.
For now, though, it was over. Antony had screwed up too much. Although his intentions were in the right place, he had broken the trust between Desmond and him.
There wasn’t any way to come back from that.
CHAPTER 16
The sun licked up his body, leaving no inch in shadow. A soft breeze was stealing a bit of the warmth from the day, but in a pleasant way that felt like a soft blanket. He couldn’t remember when he’d started living life like this, he just knew he never wanted to stop. No worries, no fears, and no one trying to kill him from the shadows.
It had felt right to make the change seven years ago, move from the fast lane down into the slow one. After everything that had happened, retirement suddenly felt like the only option. He had fallen out of love with the game he was playing. It was time to stop.
He was the first of the old dogs to go, but if he were honest with himself he didn’t think he’d recognize the team anymore if he went back. There was no one there he would trust his life to; no one he believed would have his back in any decision made. The game was just different now, and his particular piece no longer fit on the chess board.
