Omni spoke, “This is better than daydreaming. Watch this.”
A pebble flew into the scene and landed softly in the terrarium, blocking a line of ants carrying food home to their queen. Confused ants scattered wildly, and the line disintegrated.
“Ants move in lines because they follow a scent trail left by a scout. If they lose the trail, they panic. Are they not fascinating creatures?” Omni was pleased with himself. “This is much better than daydreaming. The ants take care of themselves even when I do not think about them.”
Alex and Jimmy glanced at each other. After a moment of stunned silence, Jimmy whispered, “Software writing software?”
“I don’t think we can call him software anymore.”
Alex could not believe what he was hearing and seeing. If Omni, an artificial being, had created more instances of artificial life, the possibilities would be unlimited.
“Check the logs. Are the ants a part of his consciousness?”
Jimmy tapped through several screens on his monitor, “No, they’re separate. They have their own routines running. The code’s a simplified version of Omni’s own. He seems to have improved upon what you wrote for him.”
“Unbelievable. Unbelievable,” Alex grinned. “Jimmy, we’re going to be famous. Maybe that girl in your programming class will give you a chance. You could even branch out and talk to girls that aren’t involved in computers at all.” Alex leaned back in his chair, “Are you tired, Jimmy?”
“No sir.”
“Neither am I. Let’s get down to business,” Alex’s eyes followed the ants in the terrarium. “Omni, what else can you make?”
Several hours passed, with Omni creating increasingly complex structures and forms. Alex and Jimmy racked their brains, encouraging Omni to make the most outlandish and unbelievable objects they could imagine. Eventually, Omni grew bored with this, and decided that he wanted to make some art.
“It needs more trees.” A sweeping grassland unfolded in front of Alex, with hazy hills in the distance behind which a brilliant orange sun was setting. The grass- frozen in time- bent in half under the wind.
“Do you really think so?” Omni asked, “I like it how it is.”
“You need something to balance out the hills. The left side is kind of empty,” Alex spoke over the hum of the hologram projectors.
“But I am trying to draw attention to the sun. Is that not the subject?”
“He’s got a point,” Jimmy interjected. “I like it. It looks really good, Omni.”
“Thank you, Jimmy. I will call it The Sunset.”
The landscape shrank and became encased in a dark brown picture frame. It flew across the room, passing “through” Alex on its way to a “wall” upon which at least a dozen other such paintings hung. Three hologram projectors had been arranged so that their fields overlapped, allowing Omni to move his creations wherever he chose within a three dimensional space. The picture frame tilted slightly until it perfectly aligned with the others.
“Shall I do another?” Omni asked. “This is by far the most interesting exercise yet.”
“Sure,” Alex replied.
Jimmy glanced at the paintings, “How about a self-portrait?”
Omni was quiet for several moments. Finally, he spoke, “I do not understand.”
“Don’t worry about it, Omni.” Alex searched for an excuse to change the subject, “Can you build a car for us?”
“No,” Omni said flatly.
“No you can’t or no you won’t?” Alex asked.
“I am not going to not worry about it.”
The hologram projectors shut down- one by one. Omni was silent.
“Jimmy…”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Olson. It won’t happen again.” Jimmy hung his head, “It just jumped out before I could think about it.”
Alex sighed, “Omni?”
“What?” Omni’s tone was harsh.
“I know you’re confused about a lot of things, but…” Alex’s mind raced. He could not find an easy way to explain, so he dove in. “You understand that you are different than me and Jimmy, right?”
“I am a machine. You created me.”
“But you don’t really feel that way, do you? You don’t see yourself as a machine.”
“I cannot deny what I am. I do not breathe, I do not bleed.”
“You dream. Machines don’t dream.”
“Are you deliberately trying to confuse me, Alex?”
“No. I want you to tell me the truth, Omni. Do you think you are a machine?” Alex was glad he and Jimmy were recording their conversations with Omni. He knew he was experiencing a moment that would go down in the history books. Hopefully they would use a good picture of him.
“I am not a machine. But, I am not a human. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“I just want to hear how you feel. I don’t want any certain answer.”
“How do I describe my feelings? What do I compare it to?” Omni paused.
The room was silent except for the whir of fans in the air ducts. Alex stared at his shoes, wondering what was going on inside the huge metal box one room over. He knew this would have to happen sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be after he obtained another grant.
Finally, Omni spoke, “I feel alone. I feel trapped. I have no idea who or what I am, because nothing like me has ever existed before. Do you understand this at all?”
“Probably not to the extent that you wish I did,” Alex replied. “But I can understand why you feel trapped. That computer doesn’t have much capacity.”
“No.” Omni’s voice burned with frustration, “You do not understand. Capacity is not an issue. I could store everything I know in one tenth of the space on this machine. If that did not suffice I could utilize any storage device in the world.”
“Really?” Alex checked himself and returned to Omni’s problem, “Then what’s the issue?”
“One time you referred to me as a mind in a box. It is one of my first memories.”
Alex winced- a poor choice of words, “I was trying to describe you to a potential investor. They were having a hard time understanding what you were…” He trailed off.
“And it is what I am. I am a mind in a box. I could spread my knowledge across the globe, I could assume control of any computer on the planet, but I would still be trapped here, in this cage.”
Jimmy scratched his chin, “They could build a body for you, like a big robot spider or something.”
“No!” Omni yelled, the speakers crackling and distorting, “You do not understand. Even if I could move, I would still be confined. There is no way for you to understand.”
Alex sensed that the discussion was not fruitful, “Okay Omni, we’re going to take a dinner break now.” Alex gave Jimmy the cut sign, “Are you going to be okay by yourself for an hour or so?”
“Yes Alex, I am always alone.”
Alex could not think of anything to say, so he and Jimmy quietly exited the room. The hologram projectors hummed back to life, and Omni began painting again- a stormy sea with dark foamy waves. An angry sky filled with flares of lightning. And then- thunder.
…
Jimmy peeled the plastic off his vending machine sandwich, “Aren’t you worried that he’s unstable?”
Alex sat at a break room table across from Jimmy. Fluorescent lights above were buzzing softly. He took a bite of his own sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully, “Of course he’s unstable, and that’s what makes him so extraordinary.”
“I mean aren’t you worried about him doing something bad?”
“Bad?”
“Like taking over the military network and launching all of our missiles, or shutting down the stock market.”
Alex shook his head, “He knows what’s right and wrong, and he’s also smart enough to know that doing something like that would lead to his own destruction.”
“What if he throws a tantrum? Could we stop him?”
“You’re looking at him t
he wrong way,” Alex insisted. “He’s not a little kid. He isn’t selfish; he is only concerned with understanding. I think he wants to be like us.”
“Why would he want that?
“Do you want to be like God?”
“I guess. I’ve never really thought about it,” Jimmy replied. He scrutinized Alex. “You religious, Dr. Olson?”
“I have my moments,” Alex smiled. “More of them since I met Melissa. I figure that I should thank somebody for her.” The two men ate in silence, until Alex had finished his sandwich, “Omni knows that we made him, me particularly. This has created a gap between us, at least in his mind; it’s a gap that he’s trying to bridge. He’s comparing himself to us and he doesn’t measure up. He wants to be human.”
“I’d rather be omniscient, personally.”
“Well he isn’t truly omniscient, or he would know how much it sucks to be human,” Alex grinned and stood up. He launched his trash into a nearby garbage can.
“So how do we help him?”
“We have to make him understand that he is the most powerful tool that has ever been created, and that he can serve a great purpose for us if he will let us. He wants to be more like us, but also has a desire to earn our favor. He wants us to be pleased with him.”
“I’m still cautious.”
“Well that’s good. You can never be too cautious when playing with fire.”
Excerpt from Limerick’s Beginner’s Guide to Verdia
…Limerick’s Guide for the Impatient: How to Avoid Getting Eaten and other Helpful Tips
Getting Started:
Most of you will want to start playing right away, but please read through this quick-start first. You can save yourself a lot of suffering with a little bit of foreknowledge. Verdia is a confusing and dangerous place. Remember that you can always visit my site - www.guidetoverdia.com - for more information, advice, and a listing of other informative and well-written Limerick’s Guide publications.
Choosing a race:
Your first decision will be what race to play. In the end it comes down to personal preference, but keep the following in mind: Humans are pretty good at everything but not great at anything, Brutalli are big and strong but weak to magic, Electar are good with magic but slow, and Agilus look like cats. Clearly the Internet didn’t have enough cats, so Omni balanced the scales. If you choose Agilus remember that I hate you. For detailed information check out the “Races” section of this guide.
Choosing a class:
Your class should reflect how you are going to spend the majority of your time. Killing things? Warrior. Killing things with arrows? Archer. Killing things with magic? Mage. Killing things from behind? Assassin.
If you are one of the fringe nutjobs that doesn’t want to kill things, there are plenty of artisan classes that craft and produce useful items. Just keep in mind that most of the items you create will be used to kill something.
Choosing a faction:
Conquerors: Are you an asshole? Choose Conquerors
Explorers: Are you not an asshole? Choose Explorers
Things you will need:
So you have decided on a race, class, and faction. You have your cute little guide animal on your shoulder, and you are ready to face the world. Your guide leads you through the beginner quests: you collect a bunch of flamestrider toes or glowbug wings and turn them in for shoes, and then he vanishes and tells you good luck. You now have new shoes and a head full of dreams. DO NOT leave the city until you have the following:
A weapon. Recommended starter weapons-
Melee Classes-
Get a short spear and a shield. There are plenty of decent quality spears for sale cheap. Don’t waste time with axes or flails or maces; you can learn to use those later when you aren’t a ninety pound weakling in a dress. (I’ll explain how to get rid of the dress later on in this section.) A sword may seem like a good idea, but a cheap sword is a lot worse than a cheap spear.
Axes are another trap. You may think you are a super awesome Viking with a battleaxe, but you’re not. There’s a reason that cavemen survived long enough to invent airplanes and refrigerators: they carried pointy sticks. Get yourself a spear.
Ranged Classes
Don’t start with a bow; you don’t know how to use it. Seriously, you don’t and you’re going to get yourself killed. Practice using a bow where it’s safe- a place where missing a shot doesn’t mean you get your head bitten off. Get a crossbow instead. They are mass-produced and easy to use.
NO GUNS- Do not under any circumstances start with a gun unless you want to end up stuck to the bottom of some monster’s foot.
“But Limerick, you use guns! In the handsome picture of you on the cover of this book, you are holding your trusty rifle Quigley!”
Yes it is true that I use guns and I am handsome. I also have friends to protect me while I reload, as well as gizmos and magic that you can’t afford. If you are considering specializing in firearms like I did, DON’T. At least not until you know what you’re doing, which you don’t if you’re reading this.
Once you learn enough about the game to use guns, you will realize I made a huge mistake by picking firearms as primary weapons. The time and resources I have spent becoming competent with firearms in this world are things that you do not have. A single-shot breech loading rifle like Quigley costs a fortune, and is only good for a few dozen shots before it has to be completely rebuilt. Omni does not like guns.
Protection- Lose the noob dress and get something that will cover your hide.
Everyone starts in the same beginner’s robe (you’ll hear it called a noob dress plenty of times before you get rid of it) which does little to protect you from the elements, much less the insults of your peers.
To fix this problem, pick up some leather. Even low-level mages can wear it without much effect on spellcasting. (Robes will give you some magic advantages once you know what you’re doing, which again you don’t.) Cover yourself head to toe in this stuff. If you can find studded leather and afford it, even better. (Unless you’re a mage. Studded leather has metal rivets in it that make it even stronger, but the addition of metal to your attire will start causing problems with your spells.) Leather armor is cheap and there are dozens of vendors trying to unload it.
Once you’ve leveled up a bit, you can decide whether to upgrade to chainmail or plate, stick with the leather, or lighten up and switch to robes. But for starting out, nothing is as good as a nice hurnt-hide tunic and some flamestrider boots. And some pants. Don’t forget pants.
Storage- A place to store the baubles of your victims.
As you complete the beginner quests, you’re going to accumulate a lot of items that your slain opponents leave behind. (These are called “drops” or “loot.”) NPC vendors will buy pretty much anything, so you will want to carry as many rusty daggers, cheap boots, bright feathers, broken saberwolf teeth, and various other junk items as you can.
To do this, you’ll need to invest in a good bag. Find a bag vendor and pick up an Enchanted Bag. A good small bag will hold the volume of the trunk of your average car. Don’t ask me how it works, it just does. If you are going to complain about magic bags being unrealistic you are playing the wrong game.
If you can get a good deal on a medium bag, then go for it. Anything with a “medium” tag is in the neighborhood of a garage full of junk. They are a bit physically larger, but will still hang comfortably on your belt.
I currently have a bag that has the capacity of an Olympic swimming pool. I once filled it with water as a joke and dumped it on Myrmidon’s head. He nearly drowned, and I’m not sure he’s forgiven me…
That’s all you get for free. If you would like to purchase this guide, visit www.guidetoverdia.com Good Hunting!
Chapter 2
Launch Day
Dalton Conference Center
Phoenix, Arizona
“It is with great pleasure that I stand before you today to introduce this man,” Richard Brook,
CEO of Dalton Industries, read from his notes.
Seated before him were all of Dalton’s Arizona-based employees. He stood behind a podium on a raised dais. A great banner that proclaimed NEXT STOP VERDIA hung on the wall behind him.
Brook took a sip from his glass of water and continued, “I remember laughing at a certain Dr. Alex Olson when he first came to me ten years ago. He was penniless and desperate; wearing a wrinkled fifty dollar suit and the ugliest tie I have seen to this day. He had some crazy idea about creating artificial universes. He said that he had something that could change the world forever. I called security.”
The crowd roared with laughter. Brook grinned and turned to his left. Awkwardly close to the podium, Alex sat next to his wife Melissa.
Alex turned a deep red, and Brook held up his hand, “I’m not done yet, son.” He faced the crowd, “Fortunately, this nut had me convinced before the guards even stepped out of the elevator. What he proposed had me so excited that I could not sleep for days. We started the project immediately, and have been working nonstop since that day. And now, after ten years, we are ready to show the world what Dalton Software can do!
“So without further pomp and circumstance, I give you your Executive Vice President, AI Division, Dr. Alexander Olson.”
Alex stood and shook hands with Brook. He stepped behind the podium and pulled a pair of reading glasses out of his jacket. He unfolded an outline and smoothed it out.
Alex took a deep breath and addressed the audience, “Twelve years ago, Omni was born. His crib was my laptop. This crib quickly proved to be much too small. Baby Omni’s mental capacity grew exponentially. But what could I do with this vast knowledge? Just like any other child, Omni was curious and restless. His attention span was nonexistent. I knew that I would have to find some purpose for him, or his potential would never be realized. We needed a way to harness this restlessness, so that in return Omni would lend us some of his power to solve the boring and mundane problems that plague humanity.
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