by Kelly Moore
“You’ve been moping around here for two months now, growling about everything. When are you going to get your head out of your ass and go get the woman you love?”
“We’ve been over this several times. She wanted some time and I’m trying to give that to her. She’s been through a lot.”
“So have you.” Her soft, wrinkled hand pats my knee. “Waiting isn’t going to change the fact that you love her.”
“No…no it’s not, but it’s what she wants.”
“What about what you want?”
“I want my wife back,” I snicker.
“Therein lies the problem.”
“What are you talking about, Mom?” I turn to face her.
“Shay is not your wife.” She raises her hand to stop me from interrupting. “I know, you still believe she is Timber. But, Timber died twelve years ago. Even if she didn’t physically die, in her mind, she never existed.” She takes my hand in hers. “You need to ask yourself who it is you’re really missing. Maybe if you could answer that question truthfully, she wouldn’t need time and space.” She releases my hand and goes inside the house.
I lean back and rock, closing my eyes. I can’t separate Shay from Timber other than Shay is older. Maybe I’m just an idiot. She’s proven she’s not Timber, yet I can’t let go of the idea. Why would she want to be constantly compared to another woman?
I jump from the rocker and run inside, grabbing my keys off the old metal hook. I crank up the Wrangler and head to the outskirts of town to the cemetery on the side of the mountain overlooking Honeymoon Bridge. When Timber first died, I came here every day. There were times I would even sneak out here at night and sleep next to her headstone.
Her gravesite is the furthermost one out overlooking the edge. “Hey, baby,” I say, sitting on the grass next to her. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while.” I run my hand across her name. “Emmalyn is growing up so fast. I wish you were here to help me through her teenage years. I swear she’s aged me ten years in the last few months.” I close my eyes and feel the breeze blow across my face as if it’s Timber’s way of responding to me. “I miss you. God knows I’d give anything to have you with me.” I inhale deeply, trying to find the courage to do what I came here to do. “I’ve met someone.” I half chuckle. “She looks just like you, in fact, I’d swear she was you. Except, there are subtle differences. You had the best laugh. Her laughter is dulled by years of insecurities or maybe loneliness does that. Her eyes are not as expressive as yours, but they are the same deep, dark, rich color.”
“Shay. Her name is Shay.” I swallow down hard the lump in my throat saying her name to Timber. “The one thing that is the same, I love her as deeply as I loved you. I’m finding it hard to let go of us. I need to know that you are okay with it.”
“Dad. What are you doing here?”
I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Emmalyn’s voice. I hop off the ground and rub the grass off my jeans.
“What are you doing here?” I ask back.
“I’ve been coming out here every weekend. Grandpa usually brings me on his lunch break.” Her bike is lying off to the side.
“I…I didn’t know that.”
She walks over to the headstone and places a kiss on Timber’s name. “I heard what you were saying to Mom.” She’s looking down, and I can’t read her expression.
“What exactly did you hear?” I walk over to the opposite side of the headstone, so I can see her face.
“She was here, wasn’t she? She was the lady I ran into outside the market?”
I watch her carefully as she rubs her hand on top the marble. “Yes, that was Shay.”
“I thought she was Mom, too.”
I kneel down in front of her, brushing a long braid off her shoulder and then take her hands in mine. “She came here for a vacation, and she was staying in our cottage. I just knew she was your mother. Turns out, she’s Wolfe’s sister.”
Her brows draw together. “She didn’t look like Wolfe.”
I laugh. “No, they look nothing alike.”
“She’s part Indian like Mom?”
“Yes. I think that’s why I thought they were one in the same. They have very similar characteristics.”
“So, if you are in love with her, when do I get to meet her?”
I look between the name on the headstone and Emmalyn. “It’s complicated.”
“You don’t have to worry.”
“Worry about what?” I’m confused.
“Mom would be happy for you. She’d be sad thinking you’d be alone all these years.”
“And you know this how?”
“She and I have talked about it plenty of times.” Her eyes are dead serious.
“Sweetie, you know she can’t really hear us when we talk to her?”
“Yes, she does. I hear her right here.” She places her hand over her heart. “I feel her warmth inside when we talk. You’ve always told me that she lives inside me. How could someone live inside me and me not hear them?” She cocks her head.
I can’t argue with her logic. My lip trembles. “You are just like your mother. She could sense things. I used to tease her that it was some type of Indian magic.”
“Maybe I should use some of that Indian magic for you to get your head out of your ass.”
I burst out laughing. “Now you sound just like my mother.” I pull her to me for a hug. “I love you, kiddo.”
“I love you too, Dad. But, seriously, why are you still here if you’re in love with her?”
I hold her back at arm’s length. “That’s a really good question. Come on, I’ll put your bike in the back of the Wrangler and drive you to the soccer field.”
“Does that mean you are going to go get her?” She is all smiles.
“That is precisely what I’m going to do.”
She climbs in the passenger side while I throw her bike in the back.
“Dad.”
“Yeah?” I shut the door.
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I’m not promising anything. There is a good chance she won’t come back with me.”
“You’ll have to win her over. Oh, but don’t wear that silly baseball cap of yours…and maybe brush your hair.”
I look over at her and laugh. “Anything else?”
“You might want to do something with the beard.”
I rub my hand over the soft scruff. “I kind of like it. Don’t women love men with beards and tattoos?”
“You could clean it up a bit.”
“When did you become such a grown-up?” I glance over at her.
She rolls her eyes at me. “I’ve been telling you I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“No…no you are not.” I chuckle.
I drop Emmalyn off and head to the office with one goal in mind. I log onto my computer and look up flights to California. I’ve given her plenty of time and space. I don’t want to keep putting my life on hold. I want her in it every day. I’ve spent my weekends at the cottage since she left, building a sound room for her in the back. I made sure it had a small window where she could look out and see the deer. I was hoping she would come to me, but I’m not waiting a minute longer.
Chapter 24
Shay
Instead of working on my music, I stare out the window of my office. Spring is peeking around the corner, starting to bring color back to the leaves. Paul is pulling into the driveway in his Beemer.
I’ve been back in California for almost two months now and not a day goes by that I don’t think of Keegan. Walking out of the cottage and leaving his life was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I get a letter from him every week asking when I’m coming home. He’s honored my request that he not call me, but he couldn’t help but write me. I look forward to his letters. He tells me about his day and what kind of trouble Emmalyn is giving him now. She has her first boyfriend, and it’s driving him crazy.
I’ve had a lot of time to chase my history down, but I’m still missin
g the middle pieces of my life. Through all my digging, I found out that my mother kept a safety deposit box in a bank in Utah. My lawyer petitioned the courts to have it released to me. I had to have further DNA testing done to prove that I am in fact, Dyani Rowan. The records are due to be delivered here sometime today.
“Hey, cupcake. Here is your weekly letter from Keegan.” He throws it on my desk and sits down. “When are you going to put the man out of his misery and go back to him?”
“I never said I was going back.” I turn from the window and face him.
He chuckles. “You’re in love with him. I still don’t understand what you’re doing here.” He waves his hand in the air.
“You and I have been over this like a million times. He loves Timber.” I shut the blinds and sit.
“He loves you. The man is obsessed. You know he calls me every day to check on you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Not once has he mentioned the name Timber to me.” He strums his fingers on his chin.
“I just need more time.”
“You’re wasting your time. Does it really matter that he sees the wife he was madly in love with when he looks at you? It’s still love. How many people can say they have a love like that? From what I saw, you feel the same way about him.” He leans back in the chair with his fingers laced behind his head.
“I do love him...What’s that sound?” I swivel my chair in the direction of the window.
“Why don’t you get up and look outside.” Paul gives me a shit-eating grin.
“What did you do?” I stand.
“I didn’t do anything, except help a lovesick man out.”
I open the blinds to see Keegan out in the middle of the lawn, strumming his guitar. The one he said I bought him with the orange facing on it. His eyes are closed as he hums to the tune. I recognize it as the latest one I wrote for one of my country music clients. It’s been on the radio for the past month now.
My hand goes to my mouth as a tear escapes the corner of my eye. The moment his eyes open, he sees me standing in the window. Paul walks up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Are you going to leave the man standing outside on his own or are you going to go save our neighbors from that awful sound?”
I nudge him with my elbow. “You brought him here?”
“He called me from the airport to pick him up.”
I turn and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“There are not too many men I would hand you over to. He’s a really good guy.” He kisses my forehead before I run down the stairs two at a time.
I rush out the front door. He places the guitar on the ground when he sees me running toward him. He picks me up, and our lips connect as he spins me around.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I say between kisses.
He puts my feet on the ground and places his hands on either side of my face. “I love you, Shay Fox.” He devours my mouth with his until I’m completely breathless.
I hear a throat clearing behind me. “Um…um…you two may want to take this inside before I have to hose you off, so the neighbors don’t complain,” he says as he gets Keegan’s luggage out of his car.
“We don’t have any neighbors,” I say and smile against Keegan’s kisses.
He laughs. “I’m out of here. Call me and let me know when you two come up for air,” he says as he gets in his car.
“We probably should go inside.” I toy with the back of his hair.
He releases me but holds my hand. Bending down, he grabs his guitar but never lets go of me. I pick up his suitcase as we pass by it. “This place is huge,” he says, turning around in circles to look at the inside of the house.
“It does seem a little over the top now. I much prefer the quaint cottage.” He wraps his arm around my waist.
“You can give me a tour later. The only thing I want to see right now is your bedroom.”
I take his hand and start walking. “I was hoping you would say that.” I giggle as he starts chasing me up the stairs. We walk into my room, and he shuts the door. I can feel the heat between us already as my skin flushes with anticipation. He turns the lock on the knob and stalks toward me. My fingers arbitrarily start unbuttoning my white blouse. He reaches toward me, and I think he’s going to help, but his hand stills mine.
“I just want to look at you for a minute.” He holds my arms out, and his gaze travels over my body. “You look beautiful.” His voice is deep and raspy.
“I like the trimmed beard,” I say as I touch his face.
He lets out a short chuckle. “You can thank my too grown-up daughter for that. She insisted I needed a trim.”
“I’m glad you left your hair longer. I like it.”
He closes the distance between us. “Feel free to have your hands in it anytime you like.” He kisses me behind the ear, and my body starts a slow burn. As his lips move down my neck, his skillful fingers undo my blouse. I kick my heels off as he continues further south with his mouth and hands.
“I love you, Shay Fox,” he repeats several times.
“I love you, too.” I almost gasp when he reaches under my skirt and yanks my panties out of his way. He walks me backward until my legs hit the bed. He pushes me down, and instead of taking my skirt off, he slides it up. I reach between us and frantically unzip his jeans. I push at them, to get them below his hips, but he moves down my body, out of reach.
His tongue is delving inside me. I twist my hands in the sheets trying to stave off one of the quickest orgasms I feel teasing my insides. I feel his smile against the inside of my thigh. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. I bury my fingers in his hair and tug. His laughter vibrates my core, and I explode in his mouth. He licks and sucks at me until I come back down.
I lift my head off the bed to see him pull his shirt over his muscled body. My sight travels to the V of his abs. I purposefully lick my tongue, and a broad, sexy smile covers his face. All four dimples in his cheeks are showing.
He pushes his jeans down below his hips and moves over me. His hands push my knees outward as his cock slowly glides inside me. My hands go to his ass, pressing him deeper inside me. I need him to touch that part of me that only belongs to him. My dark eyes lock with his stormy eyes.
“I love you, Shay,” he says over and over as he starts to move.
I feel him everywhere. There is not a part of me inside or out that he’s not touching either with his body or his words. It’s like we are playing a beautiful song together for the first time. Each note has a meaning. It’s our song, and I only want to play it with him. Our moans make a sensual song that melds together harmoniously.
The song only ends when the two of us reach the last note together, singing each other's names, breathlessly finding our release. I can still hear the melody in my head as he whispers my name next to my ear. I slowly open my eyes to see him grinning.
“That was amazing,” he says and kisses the tip of my nose. I can only respond with a grin that matches his.
We spend the next several hours making love on multiple surfaces in my house, ending with us in a bubble bath together, sipping on a glass of wine.
His head is leaning against the porcelain tub with his eyes closed, and I can’t help but admire his gorgeous body. I laugh to myself when I hear a faint snore come from him. I think I’ve worn the man out. Between the time difference and me not being able to keep my hands off him for more than a minute, he’s exhausted.
I place my wineglass on the edge and lean forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips. His sleepy eyes pop open.
“I think we need to get you to bed,” I say between my tender kisses.
“I have no energy left. You took it all,” he says without lifting his head, and I can’t help but smile.
“I promise to keep my hands to myself until morning, but I can’t get you out of this tub by myself.” I crawl out of the tub and wrap a towel around myself. I hold one out for him, and he slowly makes his way out of the t
ub. I lovingly dry every inch of him and tuck him into bed.
Chapter 25
Shay
I open the front door to get the newspaper, and Paul’s car is in the driveway. I never heard him come in last night. Keegan is still sound asleep in my bed. I smile, thinking about yesterday.
“You’re going to walk around with that smile all day, aren’t you?” Paul’s sitting in the kitchen drinking his coffee.
“I think I just might.” I lay the paper on the table in front of him. “What’s this?” I point to a box on the counter.
“I think it’s your mother’s belongings. It was on the doorstep when I came home last night.”
I completely forgot about it. I pick it up and lay it on the table then sit.
“Are you going to open it or stare at it?”
I run my hand across the top. “I think I’ll wait.”
“Wait for what?”
“I want some more time with Keegan before I explore what’s inside here.”
“Inside what?” Keegan’s sleepy voice burrows from behind me. He’s bare-chested with a pair of loose-fitting blue jeans low on his hips. He hair is uncombed, but somehow he looks sexy as hell.
“It’s the contents of her mother’s safety deposit box,” Paul says, and I kick him under the table. “Ouch!”
“Big mouth,” I yell.
“How did you get your hands on that?” He joins us at the table.
“A lot of research. I also found the detective that Wolfe’s…I mean my father hired to find me. Turns out, he found my mother and me years ago, but she refused to let him have anything to do with me.”
His hand covers mine. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. My mother did the best she could to protect me from him. My only regret is not getting to know Wolfe.”
“So, are you going to open it?” He points to the box.
“I will, but not right now. I want to spend my day enjoying you. Besides, I think we have a lot to talk about.”
Paul’s chair scrapes across the tile floor as he gets up. “I’m out of here on that note. You two don’t need me hanging around.” He pours what’s left of his coffee down the sink. “Call me if you need me,” he says and leaves the room.
