by Joya Ryan
“You’re going to watch the entire time,” he reminded.
She nodded in agreement.
“Good girl,” he said. With his free hand, he gripped his cock and placed it at her opening. She watching him in the mirror. With the tip teasing her entrance, he grabbed her other hip, holding her just as he wanted, and thrust into her.
“Oh, Blake!” she moaned.
He withdrew, then hammered back inside, his hips slapped her ass and made her whole body jut forward. Her breasts bounced as he pulled out, then plunged deep again.
“God, you feel so good. And I love watching you while I fuck you,” he said.
He bent her over more, her hands sliding out to hold herself up enough so he could fuck her hard and fast.
The sound of his body meeting hers over and over rang out like a song, and their breath fogged the mirror.
She reached back with one hand to cup the back of his neck, and Blake growled and picked up the pace. She realized that in this position, her big breasts were on full display in the mirror, swaying violently with every thrust he delivered. And if there was one thing she’d learned about Blake, he was a breast man.
But he also seemed to like her ass, because he gave it a little squeeze, pulling her into him as he pushed inside.
“Blake.” She called his name, and his eyes met hers in the mirror. “I’m there.”
“Me, too,” he said, his brow sweaty and his shoulders tensing. “Come with me.”
Keeping her eyes locked on his, she did.
Pleasure swept her up, and she willed herself to keep her gaze on him. She watched as his jaw clenched and his cock twitched inside of her. Felt his hot release hit her in waves. The power and feel of him only made her body hum harder. Her core sucking and pulling at him, crying for more.
She didn’t know how long it lasted, only that she’d never felt anything so strong in her life. Never felt so connected, so cherished, so loved.
He kissed the back of her head and wrapped her once more in those big arms of his, hugging her close. Only this time, he was inside of her, and Carrie never wanted him to leave.
Chapter Thirteen
Carrie watched the sunrise from the cabana bar she and Blake had visited too many times. Right now, first thing in the morning, it was quiet. The beach would soon have couples walking along it and coming in and out of the open seating area with drinks and food.
She hadn’t slept.
After watching Blake be inside her last night, her body was too buzzy to rest. Her face hurt from smiling. They were set to leave the island tomorrow, but Carrie couldn’t wait. Today was the day he’d propose to her. And today was also the day she’d ask for more.
She loved Blake, and she’d tell him.
So much hope was swelling in her that she could barely keep from bouncing in her seat. She didn’t know when his grand plan was set to commence, but that actually wasn’t top on her mind. Neither was Kevin. She was thinking about the kind of woman she wanted to be. The kind of life she wanted to have. A life she wanted Blake to be a part of. For real.
She’d been up all night, drawing sketches of her different room designs and making a to-do list of all the things she was going to accomplish when she got back to Denver. One, start her own interior design company.
She was excited about her life for the first time in a long time. Even when she thought she’d marry Kevin, she’d never been so blissful, so hopeful.
She looked back at her lap and the pad of paper and pencil. She was working a design for a breakfast nook, pausing only to look up and around as people started packing the place for breakfast.
That’s when it hit her that it wasn’t breakfast. It was the couples event. She remembered Eve mentioning it would start early and last all day. And judging by the looks of all the couples coming in with no kids and practically gazing into each other’s eyes, it really was a romantic spot to be.
The perfect place to tell Blake I do.
She may have spaced the event, but it worked out that Blake would end up meeting her here and they could spend some of their final time on the island, actually together, romantic, and happy.
Blake must not have gotten up yet and seen her note to meet her here. But he should soon. She could barely restrain herself. For the first time, she felt at peace and hopeful. She felt strong.
Eve and her husband came in from the far entrance. Carrie waited to wave, first taking in the sight of them. They looked so happy. It was just the two of them, and she didn’t want to interrupt their moment.
Today would be a great day. Surrounded by love and couples filtering in, she felt like she belonged. Any minute now, Blake would arrive. She’d left the note on the bathroom mirror. She giggled to herself. She’d never be able to look at a bathroom mirror again without getting turned on.
Not so bad a problem to have.
“Oh you’re drawing again, huh?” Kevin said, leaning over her shoulder into her space.
Where had he come from?
Well, fine. He was here before she expected him, but he had to be here if this proposal was going to go as planned. And she could just imagine his face when he saw how sincere she was when she told Blake yes.
Yes, I love you.
Yes, I want you.
Yes, I am yours.
“What are those, anyway?” Kevin said, pointing at her sketches.
“Ideas,” she said, hoping he’d take the hint and eff off.
“Well as long as you aren’t trying to compete with me,” Kevin said, in a joking-not-joking kind of tone. “And your shadow is all wrong here.” He pointed to the rug she was designing.
She was remembering really quickly how she’d gotten derailed the first time. Kevin and his need to tear her down. Now she saw how his insults had made her feel dependent on him. How him demeaning her had made her hungry, desperate for his approval. But now she had the approval of a man who saw her for who she really was.
She closed her book and looked at Kevin.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Just seeing when you were going to get back to the gallery. Wendy and I are heading back tonight, and she wants to throw the engagement shower there sooner rather than later. I was thinking you could head it up. Since you’re good at organizing and arranging furniture and stuff.”
There he went again. She was good at arranging furniture? That’s what she was reduced to. Instead of trying to decorate and coordinate an entire room?
“You are unbelievable,” Carrie said.
“So are you,” Kevin countered without shame. “I’m not going to apologize about trying to help you. Or about me being happy. You never knew what made me happy. You wanted all these things that I didn’t, but you just kept living in a fantasy.”
She frowned, that last word hitting her hard. “Why the hell did you propose to me, then?”
He shrugged. “I thought you’d change. Thought you’d realize how different we are.”
“Oh, yes, we’re very different. But you could have acted in a million different ways than the way you did. You could have told me you didn’t love me.”
“And you could have realized, but you were so deep in your own fantasy you couldn’t see me.”
She shook her head. Everything coming full circle. Kevin had a point. He’d clearly never wanted what she wanted. That didn’t excuse his treatment of her. She had lived, believed, so hard in the fantasy that she didn’t see what was real and right in front of her.
She’d gone after Kevin because he’d promised her a fantasy. Never mind that he hadn’t loved her. Never mind that he would never give her what she wanted. Never mind that the fantasy would always be just out of reach. The chase had kept her alive. But it had also blinded her to what was right in front of her.
Her stomach twisted.
I have to get out of here.
“Excuse me,” a voice rang out over the speakers. The entire place quieted, and Carrie turned and saw Blak
e standing at the stage in the front of the room.
Oh God…it’s happening now.
“What is your guy doing?” Kevin whispered loudly from behind her.
She knew exactly what he was doing. He was sticking to the plan. And her skin flushed with heat, yet broke out with chills at the same time.
“I am a pretty regular man, but I’m hoping my exceedingly special woman will join me up here?”
He had a big smile that brought out both dimples, and his blue eyes were bright. It should have filled her with joy. But this was a fantasy. God, just another fantasy. She walked from the back of the place, toward him, the crowd parting as she went.
Between her sketches and talking with Kevin, she hadn’t realized so many people had filtered in. And now a hundred pairs of eyes were on her, mimosa flutes in hand, everyone silently grinning as she made her way toward Blake.
He held out her hand and she took it, meeting him onstage.
Just then, the band started playing soft luau music as he held the mic in one hand and gripped a small box in the other.
This was happening. A knot in her throat got harder.
The sea of people around them faded. All she saw were Blake’s eyes.
“Carrie.” He said her name in a way she’d never heard before. Like there was love in every letter. “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever known. You have a fire and kindness that I admire. You are beautiful in every way.”
He dropped to one knee, and the crowd gasped. He opened the box in his hand and held it out to her. A light-pink pearl set with diamonds on a gold band shined up at her.
“Oh my God,” she said, breathless. Water lined her eyes. “Pink?”
He smiled and nodded. “I’d like to think I know you a little,” he said softly. And Carrie realized he did know her. And she knew him. Far more than Kevin or anyone else. Everything with Blake might have started as fake, but standing there, looking at his gesture and feeling such a deep trust and love, she felt her heart burst open so wide and deep that it was almost painful.
“Will you marry me?” he asked.
A rustle came from the back of the room, and she heard Kevin clear his throat. Blake clearly heard it, too, because the smile on his face told her so.
But Carrie didn’t take her eyes from Blake.
The truth swept her up and swelled every ounce of blood she had like a tidal wave. Her own nerves were going to rip her in half, and there’d be nothing left of her but a heap of desperation.
I love you.
She didn’t know if she said it out loud. She didn’t think so, because Blake just winked at her, his plan going perfectly.
She knew right then that her answer would forever change the both of them.
“No,” she said. “No, I can’t marry you.”
That time she heard a gasp, and it was 100 percent the crowd.
Blake looked stunned. Maybe almost as stunned as Carrie felt. She didn’t know if the ring was real. It looked like it. He certainly had the money to burn on fulfilling her fantasy. But she knew the proposal was fake. And she knew she couldn’t live in a fantasy and keep dodging the truth anymore.
“I love you,” she whispered to Blake when he stood up. “I really do. And that’s why I can’t do this.”
He looked at her hard, snapped the ring box shut, and set the mic on a small table.
“What are you doing?” he asked harshly against her ear, leading her off the stage. Unfortunately, the only way to go was back through the crowd the way she’d come. Only this time, the people weren’t parting for her as kindly. Whispers broke out, and it was too quiet, too terrifying for comfort.
Blake was still leading her toward the back of the bar, toward the open ocean, where Kevin stood waiting, cell phone in hand, massive grin on his face. She couldn’t stand to look at him.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” she said quietly. “I just needed to be honest.”
“Honest?” Blake said quickly. “You pick now? I thought we had a plan. This fake engagement…”
She shook her head. “My feelings for you stopped being fake a while ago.”
Before Blake said any more, his phone chirped in his pocket, just as they reached her table in the back where she’d been sitting before making the shameful walk to the stage.
Kevin called out from behind them, “Bro, you might want to take that call.”
Blake glared at him. “Yeah?” he barked into his cell phone. After a moment of what sounded like someone chewing his ass on the other line, Blake’s eyes went wide, then narrowed on Kevin.
“What?” Carrie asked.
Blake held the phone away from his ear and said, “I’ve got Lane on the phone here. Says he just got a Facebook video message from Kevin.” He paused. “Lane, hold on. I can explain—”
“Don’t worry, she said no,” Kevin said loudly. “Just thought you wanted to be part of the happy—well—not so happy moment. Never would have seen that coming!”
“Kevin, shut up,” Carrie said, and then turned her attention back to Blake.
“But Lane, she said no.” His mouth turned into a thin line, his eyes hollow, like he still couldn’t believe she’d turned him down.
She touched Blake’s shoulder, and he dropped the phone to his side, her brother’s voice still raging out of the speaker. “I had to say no,” she told him. “I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Blake nodded and said into the phone, “I’ll have to call you back.” And then, Lane’s voice still a violent scream, he hung up.
All eyes were on them. All around the room, everyone was focused on this embarrassing moment. It was Eve’s eyes she felt the most. Recalling how happy the mother had been asking her about her designs. About her future plans with Blake. Lies. All lies.
She couldn’t live a white lie that just turned black and sucked everyone into her cloud of desperation with her. How much more of her life would she waste chasing a fantasy? This relationship with Blake wasn’t real. And she wouldn’t waste another second pretending it could be.
The hundred pairs of eyes on her only added to her shame and humiliation. At least when she’d gotten stood up at the altar, she’d been alone in her suite. Now her pathetic fake relationship was on display for everyone to see.
“I knew you didn’t love him,” Kevin said. “Nothing so sappy could be real.” He laughed. “Don’t. Move. I have to get Wendy. She’s going to love this.” He left them and disappeared into the crowd.
Carrie wanted to vomit.
Blake just looked sickly. Like he didn’t know what to say.
Then her phone began buzzing. It was Lane. No doubt calling to make sure she was okay, that Blake hadn’t hurt her the same as Kevin had. She swiped left to send him to her voicemail.
It was then she realized how little her brother thought of her. How little Blake thought of her. Did no one think she could survive heartbreak? Humiliation?
Maybe they were right, because in that moment, she wanted to fade away. This was more humiliation than anything Kevin had ever done to her. And he’d left her in a frickin’ bridal gown.
Her eyes locked on Blake. “I’m sorry,” she said.
He stepped toward her. “I don’t understand—”
She held up her hand. “Stop,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I asked you to lie and pretend to be in a relationship with me.” He looked like he would be sick, but she had to tell him the truth. Even if this was the last thing they ever said to each other, she owed it to herself to cut through the bullshit and accept reality for once.
“I love you. And that’s why I had to say no. I’m not doing this as a fantasy anymore. I feel like this is real. Or it could be. But only if you want that, too. You’re either going to be with me for real or we need to end this now, because I can’t live in a fantasy anymore, not for revenge and certainly not for love.”
Blake stared at her. “Carrie, you know I can’t.” The hint of emotion in his eyes betrayed him.
“Just answe
r this one question,” she said. “Honestly. Let’s stop pretending. Do you love me?”
He covered his mouth, then took a deep breath. “You know how I feel about you.”
“Do I?”
He nodded. And as much as she needed him to say the words, it didn’t matter. Even if he did love her, he wasn’t going to claim her.
“Good-bye, Blake.”
She ran out of the restaurant as fast as she could. The only saving grace was that at least this time she wasn’t in a wedding dress.
Chapter Fourteen
Carrie had a very creepy sense of déjà vu. She was in a hotel room, throwing things into her suitcase as fast as she could, and holding back tears. Just like last week when she’d done the same thing trying to escape her honeymoon suite and came on this ridiculous fantasy vacation. Only this time she had a feeling Blake wouldn’t track her down and follow.
How could she have been so stupid? Blake had said whatever happened on the island wouldn’t translate to the real world. Why would she think differently?
Because when I’m with him, I feel the most real, the happiest I’ve ever felt.
She shook her head and stuffed more clothes into her suitcase, knocking her knee on the side table and cursing. When she ran from the bathroom to the bedroom at record speed, her arms full of stuff, she ran into the doorway and cursed again.
She just wanted to get out of there as fast as she could. She was almost done packing when a voice sounded in the bedroom doorway.
“You in a hurry?” Wendy said, eyeing her suspiciously.
Carrie’s heart jumped into her throat. Partly from surprise and partly from dread. Wendy was the last person she wanted to see.
“What are you doing here?” Carrie asked, a bottle of shampoo falling from the massive pile of stuff in her arms.
“The door was open and I was next door. Kept hearing stuff crashing over here. I was trying to nap.”
Of course. Leave it to Carrie to disturb her ex-fiancé’s new fiancée’s nap while she was trying to run off the island from humiliation.
“How inconsiderate of me,” Carrie said with venom in her voice. She tossed her stuff on the open suitcase on the bed and ignored Wendy. She just wanted out of there. Wanted this whole trip to fade away. But Wendy clearly was happy to watch Carrie spastically fall apart while she kept it together.
