“No,” I answered, and before I knew it I was picked up and pulled forward with a surge of rushing froth. I screamed, or was it laughter? It was hard to tell, but the flutter of excitement in my tummy told me I enjoyed it. When our boards came to a stop by the shore line and the wave was nothing more than a spill of shimmering water pulling itself back in to meet the sea, I grabbed my board and said to Matoskah. “We need to do that again.”
Enough wave breaks and three or four failed attempts at trying to stand and ride a real wave, I sat on the beach in my dry clothes. My hair was steadily beginning to dry in the breeze and I watched Ressler, Drake and Matoskah ride the waves like pros. A large swell rolled in and the three of them ripped across the face off it, sailing across the wave like it was glass. I wished it was that easy for me.
A side glimpse at the sound of footsteps, revealed a set of bare legs standing next to me and I looked up into a smiling face, looking down at me.
“Your Matoskah’s girl, right?” he said, dropping down onto the sand.
“Uh no, and do I know you?”
“Skah,” he said.
Two more bodies appeared and sat down at spaced intervals, so I was practically circled. “Quidel,” another boy said, with short, cropped black or brown hair. It was too dark to tell.
“That’s my sister, Rona,” Quidel said, nodding at the only girl here apart from me. She smiled but the crease in the corner of her eye showed more of a sneer. I smiled back, anyway.
“Nice to meet you?” I said, looking at them all.
“You’re the one from the bonfire?” Skah said, with a smile on his face that captured a note of something that looked lot like satisfaction.
“Bonfire?”
“At Shi Beach.”
“Oh right. Yeah that was me.”
Skah’s smile widened. “We were wondering when we would meet you, right, Q?”
“Right.” I looked over at Quidel, and couldn’t help but notice the sullen look on Rona’s face instead. If I had known her longer than five minutes, I would have asked her if she was okay. But as it was, it didn’t seem appropriate and no one else seemed to care or notice.
Skah stood up and extended his long, panther like body. Bronze and masculine, just like Matoskah. There must be something in the air up here in the mountains. It was impossible for anyone not to look incredibly healthy. “Here’s our boy,” he said, meeting Matoskah. They bumped fists and Matoskah set his board down, surveying me and his friends, looking like one big happy and awkward family.
“Hi Matoskah,” Rona said, her face looking a little less pinched.
Matoskah gave her the flash of a smile and then said to Skah. “I never knew you guys were here.”
“Just got here man,” said Skah. “The surfs gonna be good tonight. You in?”
“I wish I could but I promised someone I’d help them out.” Matoskah’s attention slid over to me and I stood up, brushing the sand off my jeans. “Stay,” I pressed. “They will take me back.”
Matoskah turned a fraction to scope out Drake and Ressler, who were just now getting out of the water. “I can take you. It’s no big deal. I can surf anytime.”
“No stay,” I insisted. “I don’t mind. I want you to stay.” I knew the way now and even if I didn’t, Ressler and Drake would. I still had to tell them about my plans anyway and I would really rather have them alone for that. Before Drake and Ressler could even take a step further and before Matoskah could protest anymore, I kissed Matoskah on the cheek and thanked him for bringing me. Waving bye to his friends, I took off, meeting Drake and Ressler and going with them to give back their boards and wetsuits to the rental store.
“Just no,” said Ressler, coming out of the store.
“Okay. Let me put it this way,” I offered. I’m not asking you I’m telling you.”
Ressler stopped and prodded himself in the chest with a disbelieving look on his face. “You’re telling me?”
Caleb had once used that irritating statement on me and I hoped I had delivered it with just as much force, to get my message through loud and clear.
“Well your ears work,” I said, spinning back around to face him.
“I don’t like the sound of this either,” Drake rather unhelpfully contributed.
“Really, I’ll be fine. Matwau’s a good guy.”
“I’m sure he comes across that way,” Ressler said with a cynical shake of his head.
My defenses shot up quicker than a heartbeat. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Drake was quick to Ressler’s defense. “It means, anyone can come across as good. Doesn’t mean you should sleep in their house.”
“I can make my own decisions.” I was becoming irritated. “I hate it when you treat me like a baby.”
“No one think’s you’re a baby. You know why we do this.” Drake shook his hair loose and the wet strands whipped about his face. “We’re trying to keep you out of trouble.”
“Matwau will keep me safe.”
Ressler smoothed the creases out above his eyes. “I think that might be the most naive and dumbest thing I have heard slip through your lips since I met you.”
That was it. “You know what, screw you, Ressler. Matoskah will take me. I’ll meet you at the hotel in the morning. Bye Drake,” I said with the flick of my hand. I was seething, storming over the sand to Matoskah, who was already on his way over to me.
“I’m sorry to ruin your surfing, but will you take me to Matwau’s?” I asked, hands firmly on my hips.
Matoskah wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. “Sure. That’s way better than surfing, anyway.”
***
“It’s never come so easy to me before.” I made a swirling motion with my hand and a spattering of stars followed in the same twirling pattern. I lowered my arm and looked at the altered night sky.
“You are getting better. With a little belief, you would be surprised what you can achieve.” Matwau pulled a wool blanket around his shoulders.
“How can I do this?” I asked. “How could my mom do this?”
“Savannah was incredible. She pulled her energy from the land, the animals, the air. She respected it and it was good to her. She was a pure heart and a very powerful soul.” He looked over at me and tightened his gaze. “You are different. Your energy is stronger. I can feel it. It’s growing and it’s bigger than anything I might ever see in my lifetime.”
“I don’t like the sound of that,” I admitted.
“You’ve got nothing to be afraid of. You can do great things and from what you have shown me, you haven’t even scratched the surface.”
“Someone I know…” I paused, unsure how much I should divulge. “They know a little about this, and they don’t want me to rush it. They think it might hurt me.”
Matwau stood and came to my side. “Your friend is wise. But you are strong and you control your own destiny. This person doesn’t know you very well and you must do whatever feels right. Your own power cannot hurt you if you do not let it.”
“Right.” I nodded. Caleb was a little over the top, even I knew that. There was cautious, then there was Caleb. But when it came to his own life, he had free reign, free to make the most moronic decisions ever. Tamara being right at the top of the list.
The next morning at breakfast, Matwau made salmon hash and it was better than the diner. “Thanks,” I said, stacking our plates and washing up at the sink.
“Savanah’s favorite. You two are like one person. In a way she has come home to me.”
I stopped and studied Matwau’s heartsick face. He didn’t look that old, maybe late thirties. Definitely older than my dad but the vacant and yet obvious burden he carried was there constantly in his eyes. I tried to see myself in him but I couldn’t make out any connections. Brown eyes, but his was a shade darker than mine and had lost any visible spark that I could see he once used to have in the pictures around his home. My mom had taken something from everyone when she left, but I knew
she had taken the most from him.
“There’s a festival back home. My home, I mean. I’m organizer and well,” I dried off the plates. “Would you wanna come? You don’t have to, I just thought…”
Matwau looked at me with a taut smile. “I would love to.”
“It’s this Thursday,” I said, surprised that he had actually said yes. It was such a trek and I thought I was the only one desperate enough to really make any effort. “It’s this Thursday, but of course you know that. I’ll give you my phone number.” I was talking too much but I was so pleased he was coming. It was silly really, but it was the truth.
“And will your father be okay with this?”
“He won’t be there. He’s sick.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” I started, and then soon realizing what I had just said. “Not the best, I meant-”
“I know what you meant. The past is the past but I must say this, I am very envious of your father. I wish I had all those years of your life to watch you grow and become what you have today. I wish I knew you even existed.”
“I’m here now.” My voice was as quiet as a mouse and I doubted he even heard me.
“And that’s more than I could ever ask for. The perfect reason to come and give thanks.”
Thanksgiving ghosts
The week of Thanksgiving, I was given a few hours every day to arrange for Thursday and when Wednesday came around, we were given a half day from school and I set up the last of the food tables, ready for the next day when Gracey, who insisted on making most of the food would help me to lay everything out.
Thursday morning I showered and deliberately took my time choosing an outfit. I was the one who had pulled this whole day together and I wanted to look at least half decent for it. I blow-dried my hair and fastened the top half up into a deep red, silk ribbon. Rifling through my clothes, I picked out a floral halter top with a red and white rose pattern, and my faded, blue skinny jeans. I kept my make up to just some blush and mascara and went to kiss my dad goodbye, whispering to him how thankful I was that I had him.
I took one step outside and shuddered at the nip of the chill in the air. Cupping my hands around the shape of the tiny sun, covered mostly by a swarm of clouds, I stretched my palms wide until the yellow blip appeared significantly bigger and wiped the clouds away. It was risky and Caleb would kill me as soon as he got his hands on me, but it was worth it. Today needed some sun and I smiled, pleased with myself.
Ressler pulled his Mercedes around and shook his head at me as I climbed in the passenger side. “What?” I said.
“You know what. What if someone notices?”
“Oh and they’re gonna know it was me.”
“It’s risky.”
“No Ressler, it’s a little bit of sunshine and it makes people happy.”
We cruised along the road with the addictive beat of a dance song coming through the radio. I looked out my open window and Ressler concentrated on driving.
“You’re getting better,” Ressler eventually said, ending the stubborn silence. “More confident.”
“Yep,” I agreed, not looking at him. I was more confident, and I believed in myself. I felt undeniably empowered since spending time with Matwau. I felt closer to my mom.
“Be careful,” he warned. I scowled at him and he looked down at me, his eyelids heavy over his serious expression. “I mean it. Watch what you’re doing. The last thing we need is you drawing attention to yourself.”
“Well thanks for the words of advice but I’m fine. I’m not stupid. I know what I’m doing.”
He huffed out a grunt. “That fills me with confidence.”
“You know, there are some people who believe in me. Myself included.”
“People?”
“Yeah. People.”
The car stopped downtown just before the stretch of stalls that had taken over the harbor and I swung my door open.
Ressler leaned across the passenger seat and said, “Just remember why we’re here. Why you need to be cautious-”
I slammed the door closed, trapping his voice inside and waved over at Mellissa who was standing at one of the soda stalls. Ressler’s Mercedes tore away, screeching away from me and I shook my head after him, unleashing a grin.
“Someone’s pissed,” Mellissa said, her gaze following the quickly disappearing car.
“He’s always pissed.”
“That’s true.”
“I actually wanted to talk to you,” I said.
“About what?” Mellissa asked. She took fifty cents off a small boy with lily white hair and handed him a plastic cup full of soda. “Thanks cutie,” she said when he smiled and skipped off to his mom with it, sloshing most of it over the sides.
“You’re working this stall?” I asked her. She hadn’t been assigned any jobs that I knew of.
“No, Faye Littlewood is but I said I’d cover while she went to the Bathroom. She’s been gone over ten minutes. I hate to think what she had for dinner last night.”
I wrinkled my nose in disgust.
“What’d you wanna talk to me about?” Mellissa dropped the money into a tin can and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I saw Drake at the weekend-”
That sparked an immediate reaction. “You saw Drake?”
“Briefly. A flying visit.” Oh shit, I forgot he was sneaking around behind her back, with me no less. “He wasn’t himself and I just wanted to check how things were. Drake’s a dying breed. He wouldn’t tell me anything. You guys are okay, right?”
A smiling Faye came dashing over, her blonde curls bobbing up and down on her shoulders. “I feel so much better,” she said, sitting in the folding chair at the stall.
A disgusted eyebrow shot up. “Oh God,” Mellissa groaned. “Glad to hear it. See you later.” She couldn’t get out of there quick enough.
“Bye,” Faye said with a wave. “I like your hair like that, Pria.” She shielded her eyes with her hand and watched us leave, scanning every inch of my head and then attempting to scoop up some of her own hair. It didn’t look like it was co-operating very well at all. Those curls looked hard to keep under control.
“Thanks,” I said, hiding a smile.
Mellissa and I found a spot on the sidewalk and she said, “I Slept with him.”
“Who?” The words shot out of mouth like a cannon.
She gave me a scolding look. “Drake, who do you think?”
For some reason, I found this piece of information funny. I tried to stifle a brittle laugh.
“What the hell’s so funny?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that, that’s all.” I tried to gauge what was going on in Mellissa’s head. She looked stressed out that was for sure. “He is your first, right?”
“Of course he is,” she snapped.
“So what’s the problem? Was it bad?”
“If only. It was great. Mind blowing-”
“I get it,” I said, stopping her mid-sentence. “Then what’s the problem?”
She sucked in a breath and looked at me for what felt like too long. “Mellissa?” I prompted...
“I kissed Jason.”
“You did what?” That came out louder than intended.
“Shush, will you?” Mellissa dropped her voice. “It was a mistake.”
“And when did this happen? Before or after you slept with Drake?” Wow she had been busy. Seemed we both had secrets and somehow, hers to me, sounded the most shocking.
“After.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Drake was so amazing. I’m an idiot, I just…”
“Kissed Jason,” I said, finishing the end of her sentence.
“How can I be feeling this way about a guy? I’m seventeen and it’s too intense. I thought that maybe kissing Jason would make me see that Drake wasn’t as special as I thought he was.” She shrugged with a sad smile. “I was wrong.”
I wrapped my arms around Mellissa and pulled her into me. “Guys…who needs em right?”
“I think I love him.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “It’s scary, but that’s the whole fun of it. Drake’s a good guy and I think you should just talk to him.”
“You mean tell him about Jason.”
“Only if you want to. One little kiss isn’t the end of the world. I’m sure Drake would understand if you told him though.”
“Yeah,” Mellissa mumbled.
“It was just a kiss, Mellissa. He’ll get over it.” Look who was talking. I couldn’t get over seeing Caleb kiss Tamara. More like I had let it eat me up. Drake was different, though. He was more understanding and laid back. Me… I could quite happily glue Tamara’s lips together. And Caleb- well let’s just not go there again.
Over the top of Mellissa’s head I caught the perfect glimpse of Matoskah with Quidel, was it? And Matwau. I smiled. They came.
“Mellissa…” I let go of her and said, “I invited someone here. His name is Matwau and long story short, he was married to my mom, before she died.”
Mellissa shook her head looking like she had just woken up from a dream. “What?”
“Yeah. He’s coming over here. Just be nice and don’t stare, and I’ll explain everything tonight. I think we need girl’s night at your house.”
“He’s coming over here?” Mellissa’s head whipped around scanning the crowd. I stood up to go meet them.
“Hi,” I said, when I got closer and Matwau pulled me into a loose hug. I fought my smile from getting too wide. Was it okay to be this pleased to see him? It didn’t feel it.
Matoskah hugged me next and then Quidel wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor, squeezing my middle. He put me back on the ground and laughed, giving us all a glimpse of his sparkling teeth. “Didn’t wanna miss out on the action.”
Mellissa came up beside me and bit into the side of her mouth, examining who was in front of us. She looked kinda unsure but I’d just given her a lot to process in such a short amount of time. “Hi,” she said. “I’m Mellissa.”
Falling Darkness: The second book in the Falling Awake Series Page 18
