“I have survived a life without Savannah, but not one day have I lived without her. I relive her memory every second of the day, wishing… hoping that she would come back. To say goodbye, to explain…” Matwau looked up to me. “Don’t make the same mistakes. You were sent to me for a reason and I will not give you up so easily. When you showed up at my door, I thought you were her. I thought my life had been given back to me. But now I know who you are, you are just as big a miracle. You might be another man’s daughter, but you were supposed to be mine.”
I had nothing to say. I stood there with not a single word hanging between us. I didn’t want to speak and say something that would inevitably betray my dad and I hated staying silent and having no comfort for Matwau. I was torn. Truly divided.
“Look after yourself. Your mother was not killed, remember that.”
“I will.” If all I could give him was to be safe, then I would.
“I have to go now, but you are always welcome in my home. The people back home, they want to meet you. I hear their chattering and they are growing impatient.” A smile just about surfaced on his face and I agreed to come back- soon.
I was happy when they boarded the ferry and I knew they were getting further and further away from the island and away from Sabre.
***
It was hard to keep my concentration when the fundraising committee gathered into the gym hall to work out what had been earned yesterday. I couldn’t get my dream out of my head. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that there was something my mom was trying to tell me. There was a chance I was being over sensitive after this morning but it didn’t ease the nagging in my subconscious. I was absolutely sure of one thing- someone was searching for her and I knew without even seeing that person that they wanted to harm her. And then the sword, what was that about? I had no reason to dream of such a thing. Was this why my mom kept a dream catcher? Maybe I was seeing one of her awful nightmares. But I didn’t have the dream catcher anymore. Someone had stolen it.
I got through the rest of the meeting and by lunch, I was relieved to have Mellissa back by my side again. I craved the everyday regularity she brought to my life. Only today, she wasn’t her usual, carefree self.
“Wanna talk about it?” I offered, sitting down at one of the table outside. It was pretty cold out, but if I had to look at Tamara in the cafeteria I wouldn’t be able to eat my food. She wasn’t on the fundraising committee but not even a school holiday could keep her from scheduling a cheerleading practice. With any luck, maybe Caleb had blown her out.
“There’s not much to say,” Mellissa said with a shrug. “Drake hasn’t returned any of my calls, my texts. I was such an idiot. What was I thinking?” I didn’t think she really wanted an answer to that question so I kept my mouth shut. “I’ve ruined everything.”
“Maybe he just needs some time.” I Knew Drake and he wasn’t the type to overreact or jump into anything. Then I saw his face in my head when he knew Mellissa was with Jason and that was the angriest I had ever seen him. Maybe his time for jumping into rash decisions was now. I would keep that thought to myself. Mellissa didn’t need me making things worse.
“I just wish he would let me apologize.”
I didn’t like this Mellissa. I much preferred it when she was upbeat and laughing. I wondered how Drake was. After all, it was him who had the crappy end of all of this. He was the wronged party. I somehow suspected that Mellissa was suffering more, though. Drake had possibly been through this kind of thing hundreds, thousands of times. This was definitely a first for Mellissa.
“Jason won’t stop calling me. Everywhere I turn, he’s there.”
“What are you going to do about him?” I hoped give him a very wide berth.
“Nothing. I don’t want to see him. He’s just a reminder of what I’ve completely fucked up.”
“Drake will come around…”
“He won’t and why should he? I just really need to tell him how sorry I am. He didn’t deserve that. I know it’s over, and that, I can deal with. I can’t deal with him hating me.” Mellissa dropped her fork onto her plate. Her chicken salad was untouched. “I need to do something. I hate feeling like this. I don’t know how you do it.”
“Uh, I beg your pardon?”
“Really? You think you’ve been okay since Caleb hooked up with cheerleading Barbie? I see through you. No one else might, but I do.”
“I’m fine,” I said offhandedly. “I’m okay with it now. It’s no big deal.”
“There!” Mellissa shot her finger out at me. “I want to act exactly like that. That’s perfect.”
“I’m not acting,” I said defensively. “I’m really okay with it.”
“I’m going to bring that attitude out with me tonight.”
“Tonight? Where are we going tonight?”
“I have no idea,” Mellissa said. “This island sucks.” She was right. There wasn’t too much to do around here. Especially when you were in dire need of having some fun. Jet’s was fine, but Jason would more than likely be there so that was a no go area.
“Anyway, you’ve got some explaining to do,” Mellissa said, perking up a little.
“I have?”
“Matwau? The two extremely cute and oh so hot manly specimens he was with? Spill, right now.”
“Oh.” I knew I had to get it all out sooner or later, and by the time lunch was over I’d filled Mellissa in on the watered down version of the past few week’s events.
“I can’t believe you went all the way to Clallam County.” Mellissa was looking at me like I had committed the ultimate crime. “When?”
“Times you were with Drake.” I deliberated whether to say the next bit. “Maybe with Jason. But I was getting my head around it all. I hated not telling you. I just needed to get used to the idea.” It was all true. I couldn’t stand keeping things from her.
“Hey, don’t feel bad. I just wish you never had to do all that on your own. With what happened to your dad and everything…” We stopped in the hallway, letting the crowd fan out around us minutes before I had to get back to my meeting. “So, where does that leave your dad then if your mom was married? Do you think he knew?”
I had no idea whether he knew or not. “I guess I’ll have to wait till he’s better for that. There’s still so much I don’t understand.”
There was only Mr. Kelly to see next, who wanted to show us a video on some of the charities our money would be going to. After that, we were free to leave. School was closed to everyone but us do-gooders.
“Well I better get the rest of this day over with,” I said, standing up. “You wanna hang in my car till I’m done?”
“Sure.” I threw Mellissa my keys and left for Mr. Kelly’s class. The shutters were drawn and the T.V was rolled in on a stand, sitting at the front of the class. The film was sweet, but boring and my mind was forever reverting back to my dream. I couldn’t escape it; it wouldn’t let me. I pulled my book out of my bag and a pencil and let memory guide my hand. I had thought I was scribbling idly, but when the lights came back on and the T.V was switched off, Mr. Kelly strode by my desk. He stopped, looking down over my shoulder.
“Hmm,” he said. He took off his glasses. “May I?”
“Sure.” I was unsure what it was he wanted to do.
“You drew this?”
“I guess so.” I hadn’t meant it to come out so prefect. I was just killing time, mostly. But what I had drawn was exact to the point of looking lifelike and so incredibly intentional.
“Do you know what this is? He asked me, closely examining the picture.
“A sword, I guess? I was just messing around.”
The classroom quickly emptied when the rest of the group saw that Mr. Kelly was tied up in something else, leaving just me and him.
“Not just any sword,” he said, slipping his glasses back on. He went to his desk taking the picture with him and pulled out his draw, shuffling through papers. He held a thick, brown and red book in his hands
. Rifling through the pages he stopped almost at the middle and smiled. He brought the book over to me and set in on my desk. “This,” he said, “Is the holy lance.”
What the hell was the holy lance? I peered over at the book and took in the image of the black and gold sword. It was thicker and shorter than what you would imagine a sword to look like and it was severely ingrained. This thing was old. Old like a relic.
“What’s the holy lance?” I asked, maintaining complete composure even though my heart was ready to leap out through my mouth. That was it. That was what I had dreamed about. I hadn’t conjured it up, this thing was real and it had something to do with my mom.
“Just before the Romans were about to break Jesus’ legs before his crucifixion-” When I gave Mr. Kelly a disgusted look, he explained, “a way of accelerating death. Anyway, they realized he was already dead and there was no need to break his legs. So to make sure that he was dead, a soldier named Longinus stabbed him in his side with this spear.” He pointed to the picture. “And out came blood and water.”
Blood and water…
“Blood and water is the sign of both true god and true man. The blood is a symbol of Jesus’ humanity, the water a symbol of his divinity.”
My head was spinning and I felt sick. The room was growing darker and Mr. Kelly’s words were becoming fainter, disappearing into the background.
I glanced down through blurred vision at what looked like a knife blade piercing my skin. I whimpered in silence at the stinging sensation and prayed to god that he wouldn’t push the knife any further in, but my prayers were in vain as the knife slowly twisted into me, and I doubled over in agony.
“Stop!” Ressler shouted. “I know what you’re doing. You don’t need to. I see it. Just leave her alone. I won’t try and stop you. Just take her.”
“Blood and water,” said Sabre. “Do you know what that means?”
Ressler swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“Say it,” Sabre hissed through his teeth.
Ressler looked at me in apology as I stood there helpless and in agony. I couldn’t wish for unconsciousness to come soon enough.
“Divine,” he said under his breath.
My whole body felt like it was shaking. “Pria? Are you okay?” I opened my eyes and I was still in the classroom.
“I’m fine,” I said. I grabbed my bag, shoving my pencil and book back inside. I had to go and see Leah. I was done with school for today.
“Here’s your picture.” Mr. Kelly held the scrap of paper out to me. “It’s really very good. You should keep it.”
I shook my head. “No thanks, just put it in the trash.” I didn’t need that. The image was burned into my mind, I couldn’t ever forget it.
I hurried out of the classroom towards one of the exits when I saw Tamara leaning against her locker talking with another cheerleader, Minka. I stopped, hiding myself around the corner with my back pressed up against the lockers.
“I’m seeing him tonight,” Tamara said and every nerve in my body twisted together. Oh god, she was talking about Caleb.
“You’re so lucky,” Minka replied in a wishful voice. “He is so gorgeous. Seriously, I have never seen anyone like him.”
“You know…” Tamara dropped her voice to a quieter level and I shuffled closer to the edge of the row of lockers to hear her better. I would probably be able to hear just fine if my breathing wasn’t so erratic. “Mellissa is finished with his friend, Drake. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he is pretty smokin’ too. Turns out she likes to have her cake and eat it.” I could hear the smirk in her voice.
Minka giggled under her breath. “I kinda like the other one. The one with the dark hair.”
“Ressler? We could double date!” Tamara squealed this time and I pressed my lips together. Fucking bitch. I wouldn’t put it past Caleb to agree to that nonsense, either.
“I’ll call him right now,” said Tamara. I heard her searching through her bag for her cell and then after a few seconds of silence, I heard, “Hi, Baby.”
Barf!
“I was thinking… you, me, my friend Minka, and Ressler. Tonight.”
I was too far away to hear his response but I was left staggering after her next words. “So, jets? This is going to be so great. I can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you.”
So there it was. I’d heard firsthand how it was with the two of them. None of their relationship was for show. Tamara never knew I was there and Caleb wasn’t even here. I realized that all along I had been hoping that maybe them dating was some kind of scam or act, purely for my benefit. But I knew now, it was the real deal. It had finally fucking sunk in and it couldn’t have come at a better time. For once, I really had bigger things to deal with. I couldn’t get distracted over worrying about what Caleb and Ressler were doing. In fact, having the two of them tied up with dumb and dumber, I was free to do what needed to be done, without them stopping me. I would use this to my advantage. There was just one problem, I was still angry, and clenching my hands into fists I stormed back the way I had come, when every single locker in the hallway slammed open, metal clashing against metal and Tamara and Minka screamed. I didn’t need to witness it to know that the door of Tamara’s locker had knocked her flying. The shrill noise echoed around the hallways and I smiled triumphantly.
“That’s better,” I said on my way out.
I wasn’t banking on Caleb being there when I burst into his apartment. He wasn’t in the slightest bit shocked to see me, his expression was completely deadpan. I wouldn’t blow up in front of him. No way was he ever getting that satisfaction. He had completely ruined everything. I couldn’t talk to Leah now, not with him here. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to Caleb and went straight through to check on my dad before I had to get out of there. Caleb didn’t seem too bothered that I was back from school and on my way back out he eyed me with what could only be depicted as pure disdain. I took one step out of the bar and came face to face with Ressler and Drake.
“Hey,” said Ressler, slowing me down. “Where are you rushing off to?” He shook his head like he had just realized the time. “Why aren’t you at your school meeting? Did something happen? You’re out early.”
“Do you know Caleb has a date lined up for you?”
Ressler’s eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, he has. With Minka… you know, Tamara’s fangirl? Have fun won’t you?” I shoved in-between him and Drake and took rushed steps over to my car. Throwing my bag in, I took off, and not one of them followed me.
I had just told Mellissa about Tamara’s double date plans and I was starting to feel a little less wound up.
“You know, my mom and dad are out of town this weekend,” Mellissa said. “Why don’t we have a party? Here at my house.”
“We could…” A party didn’t sound that great to be honest. I didn’t feel in the mood.
“If only we could invite your two new best friends. That would be awesome. I really need to get my mind on anything but Drake.”
That was it. The perfect solution to get away from what felt like a freaking hell hole. And seeing Matoskah would be just what I needed right now. But could I? Could I take Mellissa there? It would be a lot safer than being here, I reasoned. Sabre was here, somewhere, not there, somewhere. Yep, it would definitely be a lot safer.
“I’m going to try something now,” I said to Mellissa. “And you can’t freak out. I will explain everything after.” That was if it worked.
“You’re scaring me,” she said. Her face crinkled in worry.
“Trust me, okay? You wanna escape Drake, and I know the perfect way.”
A partial smile crept onto her lips but she still looked dubious. I went over to her wardrobe and squeezed in whatever I could grab into my bag. I had my own toothbrush here from when I used to sleep over and I grabbed that and hers, too. I just managed to zip my bag up and I slung it onto my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she asked, frowning. “You’re freaking me out agai
n. Are we like running away or something? I don’t wanna be away from Drake that bad. I think I’d miss my family.” Mellissa shook her head. “On second thought, I hardly even like my family.”
I laughed. “Nope, better.” I sat down next to her and with the added motivation of knowing I had my talisman with me, just in case of course; I gripped onto her hands. “I hope this works,” I said to her, but truth be told- I had never felt more confident in myself.
Under the Neah Bay sky
My body was strumming with energy. I closed my eyes and focused on bringing the harbor in Neah bay to life. More precisely, the desolate forest nearby and the grey stretch of lonely road. I opened my eyes and Mellissa gasped when her bedroom around us, melted away, piece by piece like thick, dripping paint and we were standing by the edge of the forest. A few seconds ago, this scene had been alive in only my mind. Now, it was real. The warmth of Mellissa’s pink and cream room was replaced entirely with cold, fresh air and not a rug or piece of bedroom furniture in sight.
“Oh my freaking god,” I said, gaping at my surroundings. I released Mellissa’s hand. “I did it.” I could hardly believe it. I’d done it. Everything else I’d learned about myself was minute in comparison to this.
“What the fuck just happened?” Melissa muttered, looking dazed and confused. Her eyes were wide with fright. “And where the hell are we?” She raised her voice to something more significant than a terrified quiver. “What the fuck, Pria!”
“It’s okay,” I said to her. “We’re on the Makah Reservation. Don’t freak, but we’re in Neah Bay.” How could I honestly expect her not to freak? Even I was freaking out.
“Am I dreaming?”
“No, sorry. You are one hundred percent awake. There’s something I need to tell you about me and I need to do it now, and quickly.”
“Go ahead,” she said with her usual attitude re-surfacing. Well that was good, at least. I’d rather she act like herself than be scared of me.
Falling Darkness: The second book in the Falling Awake Series Page 22
