Chapter Nineteen
Charlotte squinted as she stared out of the parlor window, the fresh, bright snow sparkling before her as the sun shone brightly above, and she forced a smile upon her lips to fight the gloominess once again attempting to enter her heart.
The last evening, after leaving Gabriel behind in the music room, Charlotte had cried bitter tears in her bedroom until she had fallen asleep, and when she awoke, her mind, though well-rested, was still muddled.
Attempting to decipher how she felt about the happenings of the past few days, Charlotte went immediately to her desk to write a new letter to Julia, and after seeing her thoughts before her, her mind cleared, and she knew she could not be upset with Gabriel.
Remaining unmarried is his choice, she repeated to herself as she stared out of the window once again, and as his friend, I must respect his decision.
And though her words came easy, the heartache within Charlotte was poignant, especially when Gabriel himself strode into the parlor with a bright smile upon his face, and her heart fluttered despite herself.
“Good morning, Mother, Miss Rosebury,” he said in a lively tone, “I would like to take a walk around the freshly fallen snow and thought to ask if either of you would care to join me.”
“Thank you,” Mrs. Worthington responded, her gaze remaining upon the book she read, “but I should not like to leave the comfort of the fire at the moment.”
“Very well,” Gabriel asked before turning to Charlotte. “And you, Miss Rosebury?”
Charlotte hesitated. “Oh, I fear it is a little too cold for me, as well.”
She watched as Gabriel’s eyes darted to his mother, who still remained focused upon her book, before he took a step in Charlotte’s direction.
“Is there nothing I might say for you to reconsider?” he asked in his deep tone. “There is something I should like to speak with you about.”
Her brows pulled together, and when she saw the sincerity shining within his eyes, she slowly nodded.
They excused themselves from Mrs. Worthington before Charlotte dressed in warmer clothing, and soon they walked together, at last, into the brisk cold outside.
“I am certain the sun will warm us soon,” Gabriel said next to her, and she nodded, keeping her squinted gaze upon the snow around them.
He offered his arm to her, and she paused before resting her fingers upon his jacket sleeve, and the two continued in silence as confusion swirled throughout Charlotte’s mind.
Does he still wish to be my friend, she wondered, merely making amends for the occurrences of last evening?
A gust of wind blew past them, and Charlotte shivered. “What did you wish to speak about?” she asked, longing to feel the warmth of the fire in the parlor.
“Oh, yes,” Gabriel began, “I wished to thank you for playing the pianoforte with me yesterday.”
Charlotte stared up at him, surprised when he did not avoid mentioning the previous evening.
“You see,” he continued, “I have fond memories of playing the song with my brother, and playing with you, well, I enjoyed it very much. However, I fear I must ask your forgiveness yet again.”
She averted her gaze, preparing for Gabriel to admit his regretting their kiss, the kiss that had brought her such joy, and she grimaced.
“I am afraid my thoughtless words interrupted the pleasant time we were having last evening, and I do apologize. I give you my word. I shall never speak so heartlessly again.”
Charlotte looked up at him in surprise, a hope budding within her heart before she pushed it aside.
You must accept his apology and move on as his friend, she told herself.
“Thank you, Mr. Worthington,” she said. “I am happy to hear you enjoyed playing the tune with me, even with my utter lack of talent.”
Gabriel smiled down at her before another cold breeze blew past them, and Charlotte shivered again.
“I see now why your mother was hesitant to leave her station by the fire,” she said. “This cold is nearly unbearable.”
“The sun has, indeed, deceived us into thinking it is warmer than it is,” he responded, great puffs of white air escaping his lips, “however, as for my mother, I am fairly certain the only reason she has chosen to stay behind is so she might be free to observe us from afar.”
Charlotte’s brow puckered before she looked to see Gabriel motioning over his shoulder, and they both turned to stare into the window of the parlor, seeing Mrs. Worthington’s figure darting behind the curtains in an instant.
Charlotte could not help but laugh at the sight, and Gabriel joined in with her before her eyes noticed a sudden movement in the thick trees beyond Greyston Hall.
She squinted her eyes against the glare of the sun before the
sight of a chestnut horse ridden by his stocky master stood in the midst of the trees, and her heart beat dully in her ears.
“Mr. Worthington,” she said, and her grip tightened on his arm.
Gabriel looked down at her with concern. “What is it?” he asked.
She motioned toward where Mr. Cropp stood nearly hidden in the trees, and not a moment passed by before she felt Gabriel’s arm tense beneath her fingers.
“Return indoors,” he said at once, his deep voice commanding as his eyes did not stray from the man. “Tell Mother to notify the household. I shall return shortly.”
“What are you to do, Mr. Worthington?” she asked, her mind spinning with fear.
He gave her a silent stare before looking back to the trees.
“I am merely going to ensure the man stays off of my property permanently,” he said. “Now, please, return indoors and tell my mother.”
She hesitated only a moment before nodding. “Of course. Do take care, Mr. Worthington.”
“I will.”
Charlotte sent a small smile in his direction before she returned to the house, not looking over her shoulder until she reached the doors and realized Mr. Cropp and Gabriel had both disappeared from her sight.
After returning to the parlor, Charlotte waited with Mrs. Worthington for half an hour before Gabriel returned at last, and both of them listened with attentiveness as he spoke.
“His horse’s tracks were everywhere,” he said, his cheeks red from the cold as he removed his gloves, “but he must have left upon seeing our approach.”
“Despicable man,” Mrs. Worthington said.
Charlotte remained silent, clasping her hands in front of her as anxiety riddled her mind.
“Do not worry a single moment, my dear,” Mrs. Worthington said, “I am certain he has been scared away for good now.”
And though Charlotte smiled to assure the woman her words had given her comfort, the wariness in Gabriel’s eyes caused a foreboding feeling to arise within her heart.
***
With many days passing and no further sightings of Mr. Cropp, Gabriel and Charlotte had, at last, begun to relax, enjoying their time together as friends. However, as Charlotte’s departure loomed ever closer, Gabriel had to fight the gloom threatening to fill his heart, and he focused instead on his resolve for their friendship to continue.
The day before Charlotte’s scheduled departure arrived, they attended a dinner party given in her honor at the Proddles, and with the Bosvilles and Miss Filbee conveniently engaged, the party was enjoyed heartily by all until the night came to an end.
Gabriel stood off to the side near the main doors and donned his gloves as he watched Charlotte share goodbyes with the group gathered around her.
What will become of you tomorrow when Miss Rosebury bids farewell to you? he thought. Are you prepared to have her leave your home?
As the group laughed at something Charlotte had said, Gabriel’s smile faltered, and he attempted to push aside the growing sense of dread within him when he saw his mother approaching.
“How are you, son?” she asked.
“I am well, thank you.”
They stood in silence for a moment, both watching
Charlotte when her soft laughter lilted toward them.
“And what think you of tomorrow?” she asked.
“What of tomorrow?”
“You know Miss Rosebury will be leaving us in the morning. How are you managing the thought of her absence?”
Gabriel shrugged. “I will see her again, I am certain,” he said, attempting to help his increasingly sinking mood.
“Indeed?”
He looked over to see his mother’s dubious expression. “You doubt my words?”
“Gabriel,” Mrs. Worthington said carefully, “have you, perhaps, considered that Miss Rosebury’s circumstances might change?”
“Circumstances?” he questioned, his eyes flickering to Charlotte. “What circumstances?”
“Why, when she marries, of course.”
“Marries?” Gabriel said with raised brows.
“Indeed,” Mrs. Worthington continued with a nod. “She is an amiable young woman and has already captured the attention of many. That other gentlemen will notice her is, indeed, inevitable.”
Gabriel’s mouth turned dry. Miss Rosebury, marry? he repeated once more in his mind. How can she marry?
“Why, Gabriel,” Mrs. Worthington said with a look of surprise, “you seem quite affected by my words. Have you never considered that such a thing might occur?”
Gabriel glanced away. “I daresay, I have not.”
“Well,” Mrs. Worthington said with a small laugh, “I am certain it is only a matter of time before she falls in love with a gentleman who, with any luck, matches her goodness and charm. As such, after a wedding, I hardly believe your friendship will continue unaffected.”
Mrs. Worthington lingered by his side for only a moment longer, but when Gabriel remained silent, she excused herself to join the group still gathered around Charlotte.
Gabriel seemed not to notice her departure, merely watching Charlotte once more, and his heart thudded dully in his chest when she smiled at those around her.
How foolish I have been, he thought, to have been so absorbed in my own life and my own decision not to marry, I did not consider Miss Rosebury having a different opinion.
He thought then of his friendship with the woman, how it had grown even stronger the past few weeks, and his mind swirled. He recalled her forgiveness of his many faults, her patience with his shortcomings, and her sweet touch, smile, and kindness that would soon no longer be directed toward him, but to another gentleman, and his stomach churned at the thought.
It is all because of my stupidity, he thought, and his softened heart filled with pain, a pain that caused him to nearly crumple to the floor, so unbearably it stung his heart and filled his soul with regret.
He recalled the words Charlotte had spoken to him weeks before, how his brother and father would not have regretted the time they spent with their loved ones, and humility filled his heart.
How correct she had been, for Gabriel did not regret the time he had spent with Charlotte, nor how closely they had drawn together.
What he did, regret, however, was how long he had wasted holding on to a promise born of fear, he regretted his cowardice, and most of all, he regretted how long it took for him to accept his love for Charlotte Rosebury.
I do love her, he thought, his heart swelling in his chest, more than I ever thought myself capable, more than I ever thought possible. And how I long to be with her forever.
His shoulders straightened as love filled his heart and mind, replacing the fears within him. He knew there were risks involved with admitting his love, but he could not imagine anyone better, anyone more fitting, to face those risks with than the woman he loved, the woman so worthy of his courage, the woman he prayed would still accept him.
Am I far too late? he thought to himself, eying Charlotte’s tearful smiles as she embraced those around her in her last goodbyes. Have I lost my chance to be with her, all for the sake of my foolish behavior?
Before his chest could tighten further with pain, a rush of energy flowed throughout him, for Charlotte looked at him, a pretty smile upon her lips, and suddenly, he saw the truth in her gaze.
How could I have not noticed before? he thought, noting the way she smiled differently in his direction than at the others, her dimples deeper, her eyes twinkling with the affection clearly written within their hazel depths, and his heart skipped a beat.
I must tell her how I feel, he thought, unable to return her smile as he pictured her leaving the next day, I must, for I cannot bear to live without her.
After bidding a farewell to her friends one final time, Charlotte followed the Worthingtons to where the guests’ carriages lined the curved drive, and her heart grew heavy when she entered their carriage first, sitting down upon the small cushion.
“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Worthington said just outside of the door, and Charlotte leaned forward to see the woman frowning, “I believe I have left my fan inside with the Proddles.”
“If I recall, you did not bring a fan with you, Mother,” Gabriel said behind her.
“No, I am certain I did.”
“Allow me to retrieve it for you then.”
“Oh, no,” Mrs. Worthington said, already on her way back to the house. “I shall only be a moment.”
Charlotte watched from the window as the woman scuttled away, and Gabriel entered the carriage before the footman closed the door behind him, and they sat in an uncomfortable silence until the last of the carriages had left the Proddle’s home.
“I did not think Mother brought a fan,” Gabriel said, his gaze focusing out of the window as Mrs. Worthington remained away.
“No, she did not bring one,” Charlotte said, feeling unnerved with Gabriel’s seemingly tense state as the carriage grew silent once again. “Did you enjoy your evening?”
“I did. And you?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Was this due to the fact that Miss Filbee was absent?”
A smile lit her face. “Well, it did not hurt the evening, did it?”
They shared a small smile before Gabriel’s expression grew serious, and Charlotte’s heart skipped a beat.
Now, Gabriel, he told himself, do not wait another moment.
“Miss Rosebury…”
“Yes, Mr. Worthington?”
He watched Charlotte in silence, her eyes, wide and innocent, returning his stare. He opened his mouth to try to tell her how often she occupied his thoughts, how greatly he loved her, and how he longed to have her at Greyston Hall forevermore, but the feelings within his heart overcame him and prevented the words from escaping his lips.
And so he did the only thing he could to share his feelings with the woman. He crossed the carriage, took her face in his hands, and pulled her close to kiss her with all of the emotion swirling within him, and when Charlotte melted against him, sighing breathlessly, he prayed she would be able to recognize the love he had for her within his heart.
As Gabriel pulled her closer, Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with all the fervor within her, for there was something different in his affection that evening, something she could not allow herself to hope for, and yet, something she could not truthfully deny.
She was reminded again of how she loved the gentleman, how desperately she would miss him once she left Greyston Hall, and her heart seemed to break little by little as each moment passed by, for she knew Gabriel would never change his mind.
A single tear slid down her cheek at the thought, but before she could wipe away the moisture, Gabriel slowed their kiss and pulled back, though his hands remained on her jaw as he rested his forehead upon her own.
“Miss Rosebury,” he began, his voice hardly above a whisper, “tomorrow…”
His words faded away when he caressed her cheek, wiping the tear across her skin before he pulled back, staring at her with eyebrows turned up with emotion.
“Are you all right?” he asked, but Charlotte could hardly nod.
He wiped another tear rolling down h
er cheek before he pulled her hands into his own, resting them upon his knee.
“Miss Rosebury,” he began again, “I have been…I cannot seem to say…” He glanced down to their hands. “I cannot pretend my life has not changed since your arrival at Greyston.”
Charlotte’s heart raced as she searched his face, longing for him to look up at her so she could see what emotion his blue eyes held.
“And with that change,” he said, “I have come to realize, I can no longer live happily without—”
“I am here, Mr. Daw! We may depart now.”
Charlotte gasped when Gabriel dropped her hands at the sound of his mother’s voice, and he took his seat across from her in a swift movement, staring out of the window just as the door swung open.
“You were right, son,” Mrs. Worthington said as she entered the carriage, unaware of what had just occurred. “I did not bring a fan after all. I do apologize.”
The carriage jolted forth, and though Charlotte attempted to smile at Mrs. Worthington, she prayed the darkness hid her tear-stained cheeks as Gabriel’s frown returned.
I leave tomorrow, she thought, and I shall never see him again.
Chapter Twenty
Standing outside of Greyston Hall, Charlotte moved her gaze from the heavy clouds above to where Mrs. Worthington stood next to her with a worried look upon her face.
“Will you not reconsider, my dear?” the woman asked, her blue eyes wary. “If you would prolong your departure until the clouds pass, my worries would be put at ease.”
Charlotte shook her head. “Thank you, but I mustn’t delay a moment longer. I am certain the storm will hold.”
“But I would really much prefer to escort you. You are certain your parents have agreed to you making your journey alone?”
“Yes, as you know, my family are traveling from my aunt’s home to the inn in Saxilby, and I shall meet them there before dark. At any rate, I could not inconvenience you further, especially as you have already been so kind as to lend me your carriage.”
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