“Probably not,” he allowed, lowering his head infinitesimally.
She licked her lips, heard her blood humming in her veins and knew without a doubt that if she let him kiss her, she was only asking for more trouble. Being with him again would only make their inevitable parting that much harder.
And yet…
She’d wanted more than one night with him. This was her chance. This was her chance to have him seduce her. The night before had been her idea. Tonight, Shane was the one taking charge. Showing her how much he wanted her.
And if she couldn’t have his love, then tonight, she’d settle for being wanted.
He kissed her and Rachel leaned into him, giving herself over to the glory of his mouth on hers. To the solid strength of him towering over her. To the feel of his hands sliding down her back and beneath the waistband of her pale green sweats.
His big hands cupped her bottom and pulled her tight against him. So tight that she felt his erection, hard and thick, pressed into her abdomen. Swirls of longing, of need swept through her like the ripples on a pond after a stone’s been thrown in. Over and over again, sensations crested, fell and rose again.
She moaned and twisted her hips against his. In response, he pulled her even more tightly to him, grinding his mouth against hers. His tongue claimed her, mating with her own in a wild, frenetic dance of desire that pulsed in the air around them both.
Rachel’s fingers dug into his shoulders and she held on for all she was worth. Her knees wobbled and the world tipped slightly off-center. But she didn’t care. Nothing was more important than the feeling of Shane’s arms around her, his body pressed to hers.
Laboring for air, Shane broke the kiss, stared down into her eyes and gave her butt a squeeze. “Yes?” he asked, his voice broken with need.
“Oh, yes,” she said and leaped at him, wrapping her legs around his hips and hanging on as he started for her bedroom.
One corner of her brain couldn’t believe she was doing this again. Compounding one mistake with another exactly like it couldn’t be the right thing to do. But then again, if she was quitting her job anyway, she might as well make the most of the time she had with the man she loved.
Reaching down between their bodies, she slid one hand down to the zipper of his slacks and when she pulled it down, he sucked in air like a dying man trying for one last gasp. Her fingers curled around the hard, thick length of him and he tucked his face into the curve of her neck. His teeth and tongue worked at her flesh as if the very taste of her meant life itself.
Rachel saw stars exploding behind her eyes. Every square inch of her body felt alive with sensation and almost too sensitized. And she wanted more.
Now.
“Can’t wait,” he muttered thickly and stopped just outside her bedroom door. He set her on her feet, dragged her clothes off and tossed them to one side, then lifted her again.
“No waiting,” she agreed, wrapping her bare legs around his waist and hanging on.
He turned quickly, braced her back against the wall and when she rose up slightly in his arms, Shane pushed his body hard into hers. Rachel groaned as he filled her. Her body stretched to its limits to accommodate him, she bore down hard, taking him even deeper inside.
Bracing one hand on the wall to her side and one hand on his shoulder, Rachel helped all she could, but Shane didn’t need assistance. He took her weight and held her easily, lifting her up and down on his length until they were both tortured with a burning, fiery need that sizzled between them.
Again and again, he withdrew only to plunge into her depths one more time. His breathing was ragged, his eyes glazed. Rachel’s heart pounded until it was nothing but a deafening roar in her own ears.
Shane couldn’t think. Could hardly see. All he could do was feel. And what he was feeling was even more intense than anything he’d experienced the night before.
Most of the day, he’d tried to convince himself that the night with Rachel hadn’t been as amazing as he remembered it. Now he knew that for the sad lie it was.
Rachel took him to places he’d never imagined. Made him feel things he’d thought himself incapable of. Made him want more.
Her body surrounded him, her mouth opened on a sigh and her eyes closed as the first wild, frantic pumping release jolted through her. He watched pleasure claim her for as long as he could and then finally, he allowed himself to follow after her.
She hung limp in his arms and Shane was grateful for the wall at her back. Otherwise, they’d both be lying in a puddle on the floor.
“You okay?” he whispered.
She chuckled. “I’ll let you know when I get feeling back in my legs.”
He smiled. “I hear that.”
“Shane—”
He dropped his head to her shoulder. “Let’s not start the ‘mistake’ talk again.”
“Why not?” she asked quietly. “Seems appropriate.”
He lifted his head and looked down into her eyes again. Strange, he’d never really noticed what a beautiful shade of green her eyes were before last night. And now he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away.
“I didn’t come over here tonight to do this.”
“I know that,” she said and shifted position slightly.
That small movement was enough to wake his body up and stir fresh desire. He hissed in a breath and tightened his hold on her. “But I’m not sorry we did it.”
She leaned her head back against the wall and inhaled sharply as he pushed his hardening body into her again, setting off a fireworks display of sensation. “No,” she admitted, “I guess I’m not, either.”
“Glad to hear that,” he said tightly, pushing them away from the wall and starting for the bedroom again. “Because I don’t think we’re finished.”
She shivered and lowered herself onto his length as hard as she could. “I think you’re right.”
He walked right up to the bed, reached down and dragged the quilt back, then fell onto the mattress, still fully clothed and deep within her body.
Rachel laughed and he noticed a tiny dimple in her right cheek. He’d never noticed that before, either.
“Maybe you should get undressed first,” she said, then gasped when he rocked his hips against hers.
“After,” he muttered and rolled to his back, taking her atop him where he could watch her. “I’m not stopping now.”
“Good idea.” Smiling, she reached for the hem of her little T-shirt and whipped it up and off, tossing it into the shadows of the small room. Then, watching him, she covered her breasts with his hands and twisted her hips on him, creating an unbelievable friction that stole his breath.
Riding him, she took him places he’d never thought to go and couldn’t wait to visit again. The bed beneath him was soft and smelled of lavender. The woman above him was amazing and her scent was soap, shampoo and woman.
Like a man possessed he guided her hips, steering her into a mind-numbing rhythm. She was the only thing in the world he could see. Feel. And all too soon, an explosion burst up between them, leaving his body shattered, his bones shaken and his heart quivering.
Two hours later, they were naked, lying in a pool of white, thrown through the windows from the streetlights outside. Rachel stared at the ceiling and listened to Shane’s ragged breathing.
Her own heartbeat was racing and her body was still sizzling when she acknowledged that once again, she’d been an idiot. But how could she possibly have turned him down, when all she’d been able to think about since the night before was being with him again?
Despite how wonderful her body felt, her heart was aching. By giving in to the urge to be with him, she was only setting herself up for more pain.
This had to stop.
“You’re thinking,” he murmured.
“Aren’t you?” she countered.
“No.” He turned his head on the pillow to look at her. Reaching out, he skimmed one hand across her bare belly and Rachel shivered. “When I’m with you
I don’t want to think. Don’t want you to, either.”
She sighed now. “Not thinking is what got us here in the first place.”
“Exactly.”
Eyes closed, she savored his touch for a second or two, indulging herself. Oh, she wanted him to take her again. Wanted to take him again. And because she wanted it so badly, she rolled out from under his touch and slid off the bed.
Now that her blood wasn’t on fire, she could think more clearly. And though it broke her heart to admit it even to herself, she knew that being wanted would never be enough for her.
She wanted love.
She wanted family.
And she would never get that from Shane.
He blew out a frustrated breath and pushed himself up onto one elbow. “Rachel—”
“Shane, this just can’t keep happening,” she said, turning to find her clothes, then snatch them up off the floor. In the pale wash of light, she pulled her T-shirt on, then struggled into her sweats, hopping first on one foot, then the other. When she was finished, she picked up Shane’s clothes, too, and tossed them at him.
He grabbed at them then dropped the pile onto the bed beside him. “You know, maybe there’s a reason we keep ending up here.”
Impatient with both herself and him, she huffed out a breath and shook her hair back from her face. “Oh, there’s a reason all right. Neither one of us can be trusted.”
He gave her a weary laugh. “You may have a point.”
A stab of something cold and lonely poked at her insides but Rachel fought to ignore it. She wouldn’t let him see what his simple statement had done to her. Instead she said, “This is why I had to quit, Shane. Why I still have to.”
Muttering darkly, he rolled off the bed and stood up to get dressed. As he stepped into his clothes, he argued with her. “What we’ve had with each other has nothing to do with work.”
“Of course it does.” She planted her hands on her hips, lifted her chin and continued. “You know how it was today. We could hardly talk to each other.”
“Didn’t seem to have any trouble tonight.”
“That—” she waved her hand at the bed “—is not talking.”
He tossed his suit coat onto the rumpled mattress. “Rachel, you’re making too big a deal out of this.”
“And maybe you’re taking it too lightly.”
Shane pushed one hand through his hair and yanked while he went at it. The pain shooting through his skull was a small, but welcome distraction from the woman making him nuts. “What do you want me to say?”
So much, she thought, but didn’t say. Oh, she wanted it all. She wanted him making love with her and being in love with her. But since she couldn’t have one, she wouldn’t have the other.
In the moonlight, his green eyes flashed with annoyance and something else she couldn’t quite identify. Maybe it was just as well.
If nothing else, she at least knew that her decision to quit her job and move on had been a good one. Now all she needed was the courage to go ahead with the plan. Somehow, somewhere, she found the strength to straighten her spine.
“I want you to say you accept my resignation,” she whispered.
He grabbed his jacket and shrugged into it. Tugging at the lapels until it hung right, he just stared at her for a long moment. Rachel held her breath and counted the seconds as they ticked past as steadily as a heartbeat.
Finally, though, Shane nodded. “If it’s what you want.”
Want? No.
Need? Yes.
“It is. Thanks.”
“Right.” He nodded, looked uneasily around the room, then focused his gaze on her again. “I’d better go. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there.”
Long after Shane was gone, Rachel sat at her computer. Her fingers flew over the keys, as her eyes blurred with tears she refused to shed.
One last Tess Tells All column.
One more time, she’d write down her feelings for her boss. One more time, she’d pour out her heart and mask it with humor. And one more time, she’d watch Shane read it, chuckle at Tess’s cleverness and never see himself in the words.
Nine
A few days later, Rachel was wishing she’d just quit her job outright.
Working with Shane and maintaining a stoic, distant attitude was harder than it sounded. He was polite, courteous and completely unreachable. She should have been glad that he was apparently as determined as she to not let their own desires erupt again.
Instead she was only irritated.
Wasn’t this hard on him at all?
Shaking her head, she scrolled down the list of RSVP responses to the annual Elliott Christmas Charity Ball. Making notations on who had and hadn’t responded yet, Rachel lost herself in the work. It was the one thing she could depend on now. And if this year’s ball was going to be the last one she arranged, then by heaven, it was going to be the very best one anyone had ever seen.
Every year, EPH sponsored a charity extravaganza, raising money for women’s shelters and children’s hospitals in the city. And for the last four years, Rachel had been integral to the planning and execution of the ball. She kept track of invitations, caterers, musicians, decorations. She arranged for Santa to appear at the party for the children who would be attending and she made sure that Santa had exactly the right present for every child.
This was one job she was really going to miss when she left the company.
“Hey,” Christina said. “Earth to Rachel.”
She blinked and looked up at her friend. Christina’s silver-framed glasses were riding low on her nose and her bright blue eyes were fixed on Rachel.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Honey,” Christina said, lowering her voice and bending down to lean both hands on Rachel’s desk, “you have something you want to tell me?”
“What do you mean?”
The older woman took a quick look around, assuring herself that no one was close enough to overhear. Still, she lowered her voice another notch. “A new Tess Tells All column just left Production for the boss’s office.”
“Really?” Rachel tried to look surprised. “I thought that last column was it for her.”
“Apparently she had one more in her,” Christina said, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully, “and it was a beauty.”
Rachel lowered her gaze, picked up a stack of files and busily straightened them as if clean edges meant her life. “Why’re you telling me?”
“Nice try,” her friend countered. “But you forget. I’ve got years of experience dealing with kids trying to hide things from me.”
“Christina…”
“You’re Tess.”
“Shh!” Rachel looked around now and when she was sure they were alone, she stood up, motioned to Christina and headed for the break room. Her friend was just a step or two behind her and when they entered the empty room, Christina shut the door and leaned back against it.
“It’s true.”
Rachel grumbled a little as she automatically straightened the counter before grabbing a coffee cup and pouring herself some. “Yes. It’s true. Happy?”
“Delirious. I’ve had my suspicions for a while now, but this column just confirmed it.” Locking the door, she walked toward her friend, got herself some coffee and while she dumped several heaping teaspoons of sugar into the brew, she said, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“I’m not just anyone.”
“True,” Rachel said, taking a sip of coffee. “And I wanted to tell you about me being Tess but—”
“Oh,” Christina said waving one hand at her, “who cares about the Tess thing? I want to know why you didn’t tell me you slept with Shane.”
“Oh God.” Dragging a chair out, Rachel fell into it and set her cup on the table.
“Talk, sweetie. I want details.”
“No details. Please. I’m trying to forget them myself.”
<
br /> “Damn. That bad?”
Rachel laughed at the disappointment on her friend’s face. “Hardly. That good.”
“Ooh. So why the long face?”
“Because everything’s changed now.”
“That’s good,” Christina said, then frowned. “Isn’t it?”
“I quit my job.”
“No, you did not.”
“I had to,” Rachel said, cradling her coffee cup between her palms, savoring the heat radiating through her. “I can’t work with him now. It’s just too hard.”
“That’s bull and you know it.” Christina sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Quitting solves nothing.”
“It gets me away from him.”
“Honey, you’ll never be able to get away from him. You’ll keep on loving him even if you wander off to Timbuktu.”
“Well, there’s a happy thought,” Rachel muttered. “Anyway, my resignation is in and so are a few applications I’ve managed to drop off on my lunch hour the last couple of days. There are lots of magazines here in the city,” she continued, wanting to steer their talk away from Shane. “So it’s not like I’ll never see you again or anything.”
“Damn straight on that,” Christina said, giving her a tight smile. “But here’s a question for you. What do you think Shane’s going to say when he sees this column?”
Rachel laughed miserably, picked up her coffee and took a sip. “He’s read dozens of ’em so far and hasn’t recognized himself. Why should this time be any different?”
Christina picked up her own coffee cup and smiled at Rachel over the rim. “Oh, didn’t I mention that part? You screwed up in this one. You actually referred to Tess’s mystery boss as Shane.”
Rachel’s cup fell from suddenly nerveless fingers and hit the tabletop with enough force to send waves of hot coffee washing over both women.
Shane had been fielding phone calls all morning. From agents of minor celebrities hoping to make a splash in The Buzz, to heads of major corporations wanting to talk product placement. Normally he would have fobbed off most of those calls to the proper departments.
But for the last few days, he’d been doing everything he could to keep busy. Even if it meant getting back into the trenches. The plan was to keep himself so preoccupied he wouldn’t have time to think about Rachel.
Dynasties:The Elliots, Books 7-12 Page 79
