Insurmountable

by T. E. White

  “I’ll tell you later.”

  17

  Successfully, I dodged Gavin and his question about Shawn. Hopefully, I’d be too busy tonight to talk with him either. Red texted me to meet her in the library if I wanted to study with her. It was better than nothing. On the plus side, I didn’t think I’d ever kissed a girl there. We could christen the place if she was up to a study break.

  I cruised inside with my backpack slung over my shoulder. If nothing else, I would study. I took the stairs to the second floor two at a time, a bit too eager to see Red. I had it bad and knew it. At the landing, I took a moment to spy the place until I caught sight of the blonde. She had her back to me, but I knew that was her.

  Tables were everywhere. I circled and weaved to get to her table, assuming I would find out where Red was.

  “Hey Tade,” a chorus of voices sang to my left. I looked over my shoulder to find a table full of women waving in my direction. One of the girls there winked at me. She and I had a quick fling last year. And another face was there. The mass of wild hair was hard to deny. I threw out a salute and fled, not wanting to be the topic of their conversation, or hear it.

  Once I got to the blonde’s table, I circled it and leaned down to speak in a hushed tone. “Penelope, is Reagan around?” I knew she was, otherwise why would she have invited me?

  The stacks were at my back. I’d given it a quick glance before I’d spoken to the blonde.

  She looked up from her laptop and shrugged. With a hand wave in the general direction behind me, she said, “I think she went that way.”

  Before she’d finished speaking, she was already immersed in whatever was on her screen. I took a shot with her being distracted and asked, “What’s going on with you and Gavin?”

  Eyes like needles peered at me over the edge of the laptop. “Don’t ever speak his name.” She held my gaze without blinking until I nodded.

  “There is one other thing. This—” I didn’t get finish my thought because a voice like woven honey said Don’t with an edge of warning.

  I wasn’t the only one who heard. The blonde flipped the screen down on her laptop as I was turning, leaving my backpack on the chair. I didn’t think, I reacted. Red was herded in a corner with her hands outstretched. I spun her assailant around and jammed my hand at his throat, pushing him against the wall.

  “I believe she said don’t.”

  From a distance I could hear someone calling my name. I stared at the prick from class and the jealousy I felt then turned to rage that he hadn’t gotten the message the first time.

  A tug on my arm broke the spell. Words drifted in my ear, like stop, and don’t. Don’t. I turned and saw Red with a look of horror on her face. She was mad at me? I looked back at the guy. He’d turned cherry red. I dropped my hand and turned to find gawkers standing behind, watching like it was prime time.

  It was in that moment I wondered what the hell I had been thinking. Any dummy with a camera could have caught this on video. And if anyone knew who my father was, I’d be on TMZ faster than I could make it to the exit.

  Red’s hand was at her mouth, like she was sickened by me. I spun and headed down an empty aisle. I snatched my backpack and headed downstairs. It had been a mistake, one that might cost me. I was already up the hidden path before Red caught up with me.

  “Where are you going?” Her touch was my undoing, and I stopped. “Why did you leave?”

  What was the point of words when they wouldn’t change anything? She had already judged me guilty when all I did was defend her honor. “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t be like this.”

  That word Don’t rang in my ears and gave me heartburn. I didn’t want to be on the other end of Don’t after what that prick had attempted.

  “Tade.”

  She was talking to me but all I wanted to do was get away. I wasn’t sure anymore about the wisdom of having a girlfriend. My plan was set. I would be leaving for Harvard in the fall. Did this relationship really have a chance?

  “Why are you acting this way? What did I do?”

  Something snapped inside me. “You took his side. You looked at me like I was the one who was wrong.”

  “No,” she protested, but I was already stepping forward trying to get around her. “That’s not true. I just didn’t want you to get in trouble because of him.”

  “Is everything okay?” A tiny voice came from the girl with the mass of wild hair who was behind us. Red stepped around me to see the girl.

  “We’re fine,” Red said, with a why the fuck are you asking? fake smile on her face.

  I would have said everything was cool but suddenly, it was as if I wasn’t even there.

  “Reagan, right?”

  “That’s me.”

  The wild hair girl held her hands up with her eyes wide. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. The librarian wanted to know if you were okay.”

  Red softened a bit. Still, she hooked a hand on my arm. “I’m fine.”

  The other girl followed Red’s hand to my arm to my face and then to Red’s. “Okay then,” she said before trotting off.

  When she was a safe distance away Red whirled around on me. “I can’t believe her.”

  There was a maddened look on her face that warned I shouldn’t speak. “Everywhere we go girls are batting their eyes at you, and looking at me like I’m not worthy of you. I knew this was a bad idea.”

  Caution was thrown out the window. “This is my fault?”

  Her answering glare was enough. “You like it, don’t you? You like that you can have any girl you want. So why me?”

  I’d heard about this. Red had taken a leap into crazy town. There were many reasons for this detour of her mental path, but right then I didn’t have the capacity to deal reasonably. “Why you? Didn’t I just pull that wanker off you?”

  Her expression morphed into sadness. The change was remarkable, how quickly it happened. It was like a wave of a hand and poof, a different person stood before me. “One guy!” She practically wailed it. “One guy comes on to me and then you can’t handle it. You just storm away.”

  Oh no, there were tears shimmering in her eyes. The yellow glow of the lamp light illuminated the first of them to drop. Fucking hell. I tugged her into my chest, feeling like a creep when my body reacted. “It wasn’t you. I was angry at myself for losing control and disappointing you.”

  Her head craned back and she sobbed, “I wasn’t disappointed. I was just worried.”

  I patted her back, not knowing what else to do or say. We’d gone through an array of emotions in a matter of minutes. Even though I didn’t have sisters, I had a mother. I was sure I knew what was going on.

  “So you’re not mad at me.”

  “Biscuit, I could never be mad at you.”

  She leaned back again. “I hate that name you call me. I feel like a doggie treat. But then I also love it because you call me that.”

  If there was a response to that, I didn’t have one. The silence was filled with her voice.

  “And I’m glad you’re not mad, because I have news.” A pause hung there, pregnant, as it were. “My period came.”

  And then again not. There had been two possible reasons for her behavior. Both could have been a result of hormones. It was the kind of thing guys joked about forever. This was my first time experiencing it with someone not my mother.

  “Are you happy?”

  Great, another question that had no good answer. “If you are.”

  A shift of her feet to the ball of her toes, and she grew an inch. I leaned down to meet her eager mouth and kissed the hell out of my girl.

  18

  That night she agreed to my suggestion of sleeping over. We couldn’t do anything, but I relished the feel of her against me. I lay awake long after her breathing became long and even. But when I did finally sleep, it was invigorating. I woke feeling like I could conquer the world, and I only had one person to thank for that.

  “Morning.” He
r eyes looked like dew drops with the reflection of my face in them.

  Her smile sent a solar flare to my heart as she craned her neck for a morning taste. I kissed her, unworried about anything but the racing of my heart as I came to realize there were more to my feelings than I bargained for. What, I wasn’t sure. Like a coward, I decided not to put a name to it and ignore them. Instead, I just lived for the moment.

  “You know, I may not be able to have a repeat performance of the other night. But there are things we can still do.” Her lips weren’t red, but they were plump and rosy from our heated kisses. That only made me think of the buds on her breast. That thought led my cock to jerk.

  She had me in her hot hands before all the blood drained from my brain. I felt my eyes widen until she put her wet tongue on the crown. Then, my eyes rolled back and I fell back as all my muscles save one lost function.

  That was the first of many consecutive mornings. Red was spoiling me with her eagerness to master me. I, on the other hand, was fast becoming addicted to her presence in my bed every night.

  Several days had passed before a morning dawned and I finally found the balls to ask her a question.

  “What are you doing for spring break?”

  Her fingers stilled from the path they’d been on. I closed my eyes, wondering why I decided to blurt this out at that moment. Couldn’t I have waited? It felt like ages since that first and only time I’d been balls deep inside her and my dick had starting doing a happy dance.

  “Never mind,” I murmured, and moved to kiss her, hoping to reclaim the moment that had snuck up on me and was slipping away.

  She leaned away like I had bad breath. I cupped a hand to my mouth and gave a quick sniff.

  “No, silly.” Her giggles again had the effect of a defibrillator on my cock, jerking it to life. “You don’t smell. I just want to know why you were asking me about spring break.”

  Knowing that she didn’t find me repulsive gave me a boost. “I know it’s only the week after next, but I wondered if you wanted to spend it with me at my parents’ lake house.”

  I saw the look that crossed her face like she was preparing to tell me how sorry she was but couldn’t. Instead of cutting my losses, I blurted out, “It’s no big deal. Gavin bailed on me. He usually comes but said he had to go home this year instead.”

  Her smirk rivaled mine when she said, “Oh, so you’re only asking because Gavin can’t come, and poor Tade can’t be alone by himself.”

  Her teasing was effective because I did feel really stupid in that moment. Was I that child who needed the safety of numbers? I didn’t think so, but then again.

  “Well,” she continued. “It just so happens that Penelope and I were supposed to drive to Miami before she pulled out.”

  We traded glances before bursting into laughter. “I guess you’re thinking what I’m thinking,” I murmured.

  Her head bobbed and suddenly my mind was back to sex. I lifted a hand and finger-combed her hair. “Yes, they are so hooking up and not telling us.”

  My thoughts had trailed beyond Gavin and the blonde. I gave her my intentions through a stare that would have melted water. Then I kissed her, claiming her mouth in much the way I wanted to claim her other lips.

  I blazed a path down her neck, hitting that sweet spot that make all girls arch their back and squeal and moan in delight. I wasn’t surprised when she did much the same. My hands worked her shirt high enough that I could taste her nipples with fervor. They budded under my tongue as I worked a hand into her sleep shorts.

  A finger was all it took to let me know she was ready. The fact that she hadn’t stopped me had also let me know that she was free and clear of her monthly obligation as my mother had coined it.

  Just as together we were scrambling to get her shorts off as well as mine, her phone chimed. She had been over many nights and never once had her phone gone off. So when she pulled away from me to answer it, I figured it was important.

  “Hello.” Her voice came out clipped, and not worried as I’d expected.

  I couldn’t hear the words from the other end, but I did hear that the timber of the voice wasn’t sweet and feminine. It was deep with a rasp, and I swear I hoped her mother had a bad cold.

  “I can’t do this right now.” Her posture was rigid as she sat on the edge of the bed with her back to me.

  There was no way to know what was being said on the other end of the line. So I placed my hand on her back and began to rub circles in order to offer comfort. She stiffened under my touch and my hand paused before I pulled it back.

  “Look, I’m not alone… No, it’s none of your business… I have to go.”

  She placed the phone on the bed and the only thing I saw was Call Ended before she scooped it up again and placed it next to mine on the bedside table.

  A soft sound left her body before a small shudder ran through it. I sat up immediately, recognizing the motion. I tugged her in my lap after I moved beside her. I cradled her against me, needing to ease whatever tensions she had.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Her response was far too quick.

  “Who called?”

  She sighed, and I knew she’d resigned herself to tell me. “It was Charles.”

  “Charles,” I said thinking out loud. Her head nodded against my chest. Charles. Then it hit me. Charles the ex. The one she said she was over. The one from the past summer Charles? I didn’t ask. It was too late. If I was her rebound guy, she was stuck with me, because there was no way I was giving her up.

  “What did he want?” And did he call often? What did you talk to him about? Does he know about me? But I didn’t bombard her with the rest of my questions.

  “He wants me.” Her response was childlike, the way she said it so softly.

  I held on tighter around her waist. “He can’t have you.”

  She pulled back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. ‘No he can’t.” This time her voice was certain, with a firmness that rivaled the length of me in my shorts. I should have been embarrassed that just having her in my lap had sparked me to life. But I wasn’t.

  “And I want number two.”

  Okay she had me there. Was she referring to second base, because her eyes had focused on my lips like a heat seeking missile? Unfortunately for her, I had already rounded the bases and was ready for home.

  “Number two?” I asked, when she made no move to make good on the promise from her eyes.

  “The second time having sex. I think we’ve waited long enough. And yes, I’ll spend spring break with you.”

  A better man might have begged her off and given her the external comfort she needed from whatever this jerkwad was doing to her. But, I’ve been told that with lack of oxygenated blood, the brain ceases all function.

  I let Red ride me down like a freight train and barreled my way home with steam from the heat of our bodies as a guide.

  19

  The burn in my muscles awakened me to the competition going on all around me. It was a good thing this was the singles race. I wasn’t bringing anyone else down with me as I’d been lost in thoughts about the first time I’d been inside Red. As dumb as it sounded, I’d died and gone to heaven in that moment. It had felt so fucking good and I didn’t think I could top it.

  The shit had just sunk my battleship. What was I going to do? My plan had been steadfast for as long as I could remember. It had been my father’s dream for me to go to Harvard and it had become mine. Would Red be willing to come to Cambridge with me? And did I really want her to?

  We hadn’t talked much about our futures the nights we spent together. But she did know of my plans to attend law school at the prestigious university. All I knew was that she was applying for internships and jobs in Washington, DC, at non-profits and other humanitarian organizations that fit her profile. Would she look in Massachusetts? If she took a job to be near me only for things not to work out between us, I would end up being the bastard that clothesli
ned her future.

  I felt eyes on me and I glanced to the side to see that I had been in the lead but someone was charging ahead. I freed my mind and got my head back in the competition. I forced my muscles into overdrive because the finish line was near. I may have lost this one through no fault other than my own.

  The photo finish would have to determine which nosed out the other. I didn’t care, I finally realized. Yes, I had team pride, but there wasn’t a future for me in this race. If I’d wanted to train for the Olympics, I would have picked a different school for undergrad.

  After all the races were over and I’d gotten everything put away, I headed to where Red stood in a sundress that had me weaker than the couple of hours racing in the hot sun I’d done. Her red-capped hair was topped with a wide-brim hat that half hid her face in shadows.

  “Hey you,” she said, meeting me halfway. I snaked an arm around her waist and dipped my head under her hat to sneak a kiss.

  Gagging noises came up behind me and Gavin was there with a scowl on his face. However, I didn’t think it was aimed at us. He had his eyes on the blonde, who wore an expression of boredom.

  “Congratulations,” Red said.

  Gavin cut in before I could thank her. “For what, they came in second.”

  My little glass half full girl said, “Second isn’t bad.”

  Gavin huffed. “Yeah if there weren’t only two teams in the competition.”

  Red was having none of it. “It doesn’t matter. Besides, I was congratulating him on winning his individual race.”

  My best mate wasn’t feeling charitable towards me or anyone else. “You call that a win? Tade doesn’t have close races. He blows everyone out of the water. What you saw there was his head up his ass. Apparently he had pussy on the brain.”

  Although he was speaking to us, his eyes never left the blonde’s until he was done speaking. Then he stormed off before I had a chance to tell him what a dick he was being.