Insurmountable

by T. E. White

  My muscles were tight from my workout as I made my way up the incline to the house. Red was waiting for me at the door when I get there. I had a sudden flash of seeing her like this the rest of my life.

  “Went without me,” she teased.

  “You were worn out from last night. I thought you needed rest.” I winked at her.

  “Worn out. You look like you’re the one that needs rest.”

  I lunged for her. She dodged out the door. I turned and watched as she peeled the shirt over her head, leaving me a back view of the yellow string bikini I loved. “See if you can catch me.”

  Oh, how I liked playing catch. I closed the door, giving her a head start, which was only fair. I easily caught her before her thighs were submerged in the water. I cupped the back of her head and drew her mouth to mine. She tasted like mint, and my tongue danced with hers until I had the ties of her top undone.

  Her gasp only opened her more to me. “Now you can’t break away without flashing any creep with binoculars.”

  Her teasing touch stopped and I pulled her closer, coaxing her further in the water. I played with her nipples while keeping my other hand on her ass. I headed neck deep into the lake, with her legs wrapped around me to keep her from going under.

  “It seems like you are trapped, Miss Abby.”

  “I guess I am, Mr. Astor.”

  “Fair warning, I’m about to have my way with you.”

  Her Kryptonite giggle only made me weaker to the power that was her. She had my heart in her hands and didn’t know it.

  We would have a couple more lazy days like that before it was time to leave. In the foyer, we stood with our suitcases at our feet.

  “It sucks that we have to go back,” she confessed.

  I licked my lips and wondered if that was the moment I would confess what I truly felt for her.

  I chuckled. “We could always drop out of school and run away together.”

  A slender finger tapped against her lips. “That sounds great. I mean why take final exams? It’s crazy. Four years in college without finishing doesn’t compare at all with running away with you.”

  Her wrist was in my hands a moment before her body was pressed to mine. “I would give it all up if you would run away with me.” I was half joking, testing this out because I really wanted to ask her to come to Cambridge with me.

  “Would you now?” She kissed me smartly before leaning back in my arms to watch my face. “You would give up your dream to become a lawyer to be with me.”

  I wanted to tell her it wasn’t my dream, just my destiny. The path already paved in good intentions. “Then come with me to Harvard.” There, I had said it.

  Her body stilled as if she couldn’t take a breath. Her eyes went distant and I let her go. I should have kept my mouth shut. She took the handle of her bag and said, “We should get on the road,” as if I hadn’t asked her to move with me.

  The coward in me didn’t want her to decimate me with her words of rejection. I let it go and followed her out the door, grateful I hadn’t let other foolish words like love tumble out of my mouth.

  24

  The pressure built in the final weeks of school. With projects, final exams and other senior check off list items, Reagan and I only saw each other late at night for our sleep-overs. Formal Astronomy classes finished, with our remaining time to be spent on an independent project outside of class. With rowing in full swing, we couldn’t even work our schedules so that we could be in the library at the same time. I was juggling more practices to fix our team’s mistakes from the first week.

  Red came to the next two meets, and we won both times. It felt really good to know someone was watching, since my parents never showed. But it meant even more that it was her.

  At the house, Gavin and I were sitting in the living room talking about his injury. He was due to get his cast off soon, just when our new team started to gel.

  “I don’t know. Has the doctor cleared you to row again?” I asked warily.

  “So that’s it. I’m off the team. That yahoo has taken my place. Is he your best friend too?”

  “Gav, don’t be a dick. I’m just looking out for you.”

  “Looking out for me? I barely see you except for practice. Reagan is practically living here. Her toothbrush is in the bathroom.” He gestured wildly towards the stairs.

  Something else was going on I was not aware of. “Just say it, man. Don’t be a chick and dance around it. What is your problem?” I was glad Red wasn’t around to hear that. She wouldn’t have liked me generalizing about women in a bad way. But Gavin would get my meaning even if I didn’t actually mean it the way it sounded.

  “My problem. My problem is my best friend is leaving in a couple of weeks and I don’t see him anymore. This is it, my friend, and you’re wrapped up in her like a taco.”

  “Are you jealous?” I teased him, but he didn’t return my smile.

  “You’re damn right I’m jealous.” He stared at me and didn’t back down. He arched a brow to make his point. He was right.

  “Fine, let’s hang out this weekend. Just you and me.”

  “Now that sounds like a plan.” He held up his fist and I bumped it. His smile returned, and he seemed more like himself.

  My phone buzzed with a picture of Red in the background. “Biscuit.”

  Gavin stalked off and I sighed. It just felt like there wasn’t enough time for everything.

  A sweet voice lulled me back into a good mood. “Hey. I wondered if you wanted me to bring you something to eat. I’m going to have dinner with Penelope. She’s complaining about our lack of girl time.”

  “Speaking of which, Gavin just gave me shit about the same thing. I told him I’d hang out with him this weekend. Are you cool with that?”

  I wasn’t sure why I asked, because I was going to do it anyway. However, a twinge suggested that wasn’t quite true.

  “Actually, that sounds great. Penelope will be thrilled. Don’t tell her it was your idea.” She laughed.

  ~~~

  Our last night before the weekend apart was filled with frantic sex. I couldn’t seem to get close enough to her or her to me. It was like it could be the end or something. If she hadn’t had a test in one of her morning classes, we might have spent all day in bed.

  Later, Gavin was almost too quiet about where we were going. It should have been my cue to fear that something was going to happen that I didn’t want. He drove his truck and we ended up parked at Fridays.

  When I gave him a look, he raised his hands in a shrug. “We have to eat.” I followed him on the inside and he stopped to talk to a sandy-haired woman. I didn’t immediately put it together. I heard him say, “Let’s get a table together,” and even then I thought it was innocent.

  Once we were seated, the girl placed herself so close to him that she could have sat on his lap. She muttered, “You’re late.”

  Another woman sat next to me, though not as close as Gavin’s apparent date, then turned to me and said, “Tade, it is so nice to finally meet you.” This had been a set up. I was seething and glaring daggers at my best friend, who I would kill the moment we left.

  My smile was forced but I told myself it wasn’t her fault. This was all on Gavin and I had several four letter words I wanted to say to him. “Yeah, you too,” I managed to say and tried my best to maintain a pleasant but not enthusiastic smile. I wasn’t sure what else to say. And somehow saying I have a girlfriend didn’t seem to be an appropriate first line.

  The waiter, who appeared with perfect timing, would get an excellent tip from me. A round robin of orders was completed when Gavin paled. My back was to the room at the square table we were sitting at. I torqued my body around and came in contact with a pair of blue eyes that were round in shock.

  Red began to move as I shoved out my seat so fast the chair careened backwards. The area around us went silent, but I didn’t care. I grabbed Red by the arm and hauled her back to the table where a passing waiter had already
righted my chair. I sat and tumbled her into my lap. The two girls who weren’t bimbos—Gavin’s usual type—traded worried glances.

  “Everyone, this is my girlfriend Reagan.” The declaration to the group stopped Red from trying to twist out of my hold. “Reagan, you know who Gavin is, and these are some friends he didn’t warn me he was meeting.”

  Red relaxed and she turned to Gavin. He stared at her momentarily before his focus shifted behind me. I didn’t turn. Instead, I whispered to Red, “Is Penelope behind us?” I didn’t notice her friend because I was busy trying to stop Red from coming to the wrong conclusion.

  She nodded before facing me. She took my face in my hand and kissed me.

  “Do you want to join us?” It was pretty cruel on the unsuspecting girls but I didn’t care. This was Gavin’s doing, not mine.

  “No.” She shifted and addressed the group specifically Gavin. “You have fun with your friend.” She said the word like it was a curse. “I trust you.” I didn’t retort that she hadn’t trusted me a second ago, but again, all the blame resided with my best mate— or so I’d thought he’d been.

  Red got to her feet and I noticed a third girl with the pair. She was equally pissed at Gavin when a guy turned his head and smiled in our direction. He hopped down from the bar stool, appearing shorter than he had a moment before. He waved hello to Red, but my jealousy was in check. I trusted her too.

  “Ducky,” he called out and air-kissed the blonde before whispering something in her ear that caused her to flush. I turned in time to see Gavin getting his due. He was seething, and even his date could tell.

  The group of them strolled away and I leaned back in my chair in thought. I wouldn’t have to kill Gavin late. That had been handled by the blonde. Swiftly, Gavin received payback by the blonde inciting his jealousy.

  Dinner turned out to be okay, with nervous chatter from the girls once that the cat was out of the bag. The shy girl Gavin had inexplicably tried to hook me up with was nice, and didn’t deserve this situation. We end up talking more than Gavin and his girl. She was silent throughout most of the meal. Even though things ended up working out, I was happy to have it over. After saying our goodbyes, we headed to Gavin’s truck. One look back revealed Red coming out the doors.

  “Just a minute, hey?” I told Gavin, holding a finger up.

  I beat feet in Red’s direction and she was pulled by the same gravitational force. It took only moments before our mouths crashed together, kissing as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages. There was still more weekend to go but I had to get my fill while I could.

  “Can’t you two get a room?” The blonde was glaring at us, and Red and I laughed.

  “Why do you care? Where’s the asshole?” Gavin’s voice was filled with menace and Red and I pulled away to watch the show.

  “You’re the asshole!” Crack, the blonde’s hand made solid contact with the right side of Gavin’s face.

  His look was thorny and I made a move to step in to stop anything from getting out of hand. His hand raised and the blonde shrunk back. I was already five steps away from getting in between them, but Gavin didn’t hurt her, he kissed her. Her hands rose up in fist on the side of his head until they were tangled in his hair tugging him into her. I stopped, and Red was close on my heels matching my slack jaw. This was as new to her as it was to me. I’d seen them fight but never kiss. It was kind of hot.

  A horn blared and all of our focuses shifted to the tiny blue car that pulled up beside our friends. “Are you guys coming, or are you catching a ride with them?”

  Red got on her toes and kissed me quickly. “I’ll call you later.”

  I watched her walk away, tugging the blonde with her. Gavin watched them get in the car and then he turned to me. “I’m not ready to go back to campus.”

  I needed answers. “We’ll go to the lake house but you have to tell me everything.”

  He nodded and we scrambled in his car and he told me a tale that had my head spinning. I didn’t know whether to envy him, or be thankful my relationship didn’t have the amount of drama his was going through.

  25

  It felt like there was a trash heap in my gut and wrenched when we pulled up in the lot back at school. I hoped like hell I wouldn’t lose my shit in the parking lot. Drinking with Gavin all weekend had left me blurry-eyed and sick. Monday would come too soon, since Sunday was nearly over.

  It was one night and one long day, but I could sleep a week. When I spotted two of Red on the stoop in front of my door, I tried to pull myself together so I wouldn’t hurl in her lap. It was when her blood shot eyes came into view that I immediately sobered up some. “Fuck, are you okay?”

  She held me up in her embrace when I should have been her rock. I’d tried unsuccessfully to call her after the night at the restaurant. I thought I’d been forgiven but seeing her like this I wasn’t sure.

  Her nod didn’t give the confidence that it should. Gavin barreled by us and into the house without a glance. I couldn’t be bothered with his mood. It was his fault that I was in this state and not at my best when Red obviously needed me.

  “Can we walk? I need to speak to you alone.”

  We could be in my room alone but I didn’t argue. I was nervous enough about what she might say. Red had only cried in front of me once, and that didn’t last very long. I didn’t take her to be a whiner.

  Her hands were out of my reach and even though I wanted to, I didn’t force her to hold mine. Our steps were the only noise that wrapped us in darkness. I followed her through the short tree line and onto the path surrounded by high brush. We stopped only steps away from the overflow of the bay, that created a small marsh area.

  We faced each other in the low grass, and insects chirped softly in the background. My mind went crazy with dumb theories like I’d done something to piss her off. We were here because she planned to off me and dump my body here, where it would most likely not be found for weeks, even months. Those crazy thoughts had to come from the alcohol that laced my stomach lining.

  She twiddled her fingers as her eyes remained cast downward. I waited, fearing the news she wanted to tell me. Had she met someone while we were apart? Then dread happened. Had Charles convinced her to go back to him?

  Finally, she met my eyes and shimmery tears in the moonlight trailed down her face. “I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

  Famous final words. I waited for the death blow, praying I still had the strength to take it like a man and not beg her to stay.

  Seconds ticked off as the pause grew as long as Pinocchio’s nose. I was lying to myself when I thought I wouldn’t beg. The words were already shaping in my head. I practiced the delivery while I waited.

  With squared shoulders, she locked on my gaze. “I’m pregnant.”

  I became a statue as I processed her words. They’d been clear and concise, yet I had trouble grasping the concept. I saw her watching me, this time waiting on me to say something.

  Instantly, my hair irritated my forehead. I pushed it back with one hand holding it there so I could think. Her innocent eyes were large and focused on me. I spun around because I needed to get my thoughts together.

  I didn’t want to blurt out something stupid like Is it mine? Because even though the devil on my right shoulder was shouting Charles’s name, I knew better. Red wouldn’t tell me this and wait for me to respond if it wasn’t mine.

  Dad’s face popped in my head next. All of his lifelong goals had been achieved, save one. His bid for presidency was the crowning jewel, even above graduating law school first in his class, passing the bar, marrying Mom, having a son, and becoming a multi-term senator.

  If the press got wind that his unmarried and only son had knocked up his girlfriend, it would surely lose him the primary. That was why I had been the good even dutiful, never doing anything wrong.

  I faced her again, dropping my hand and said, “I thought you were on birth control.”

  She nodded. “Yes.
I guess they really meant to wait the full cycle before taking a chance. I had been so close to finishing I thought it was safe. This is my fault and I hope you don’t think I tricked you.”

  She didn’t know my net worth, as far as I knew. And she never once asked me to buy her anything. She didn’t know my father was a senator. And most of all, I didn’t believe she was that type of person. “No.”

  I turned around again, lacing my fingers on the top of my head. I took a few steps forward to organize my thoughts. It didn’t take long for me to make a decision.

  Those first few steps in her direction were hesitant. But by the time I stood in front of her I was resolute. “Marry me.”

  It might have been a cliché move, but I meant every word.

  “Marry you?” She seemed confused, so I made it plain to her.

  “I was serious when I asked you to move to Massachusetts.” I didn’t remind her she had seemed not to like the idea. “I won’t let you go, because I love you.”

  She staggered back a step. Her eyes were large, like shiny quarters in the dead of night. “You love me.”

  “Yes, I love you, and this is the next logical step. Granted, I didn’t anticipate this so soon. But it was inevitable. You are it for me. Now you have our babe in your belly. I couldn’t think of a more right thing to do.”

  “What about our parents?”

  “What about them?” I retorted. “What do you think yours would say to you?”

  Bewildered, she said, “They would try to talk me out of it.”

  “Exactly, which is why you need to say yes now.”

  “You’re not going to even ask me if I love you?”

  “If you don’t love me now, you will in time. I will do whatever I have to, to win you over.”

  Her face softened and she stepped towards me. “I do love you. I was just afraid to say it and scare you away.”

  “You could never scare me away. I’m in this for life with you.”

  She was crying full out and my thumbs couldn’t wipe the tears away fast enough. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”