by Tia Siren
“I’m not trying to make things difficult for you. I hope I’m not. I didn’t come over here to do anything more than let you know I hope to still be friends with you. I really liked hanging out with you. I’m going to miss that,” I said, being perfectly honest. “Have you and William figured things out?”
She scoffed. “No. Not even close.”
“Do you want to be with William?” I asked her point blank.
She looked at me, and I saw something in her eyes that made my heart ache for her. She looked torn. I didn’t want her to suffer. This whole situation was my fault. I never should have asked her out that first time. I should have kept my distance. I had heard her declare her love for my brother, and for some stupid reason I had decided that was a good time to make a move on her.
“I don’t know what I want. It’s so hard to explain, and I know that isn’t fair to you,” she said softly.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine. What’s so hard for you?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I want what I thought I did.”
“You don’t know if you want to be with William?” I asked a little too eagerly.
“Right. As you can imagine, he isn’t taking that so well. He’s angry. He thinks I should know exactly what I want. I probably should, especially after I said some things to him to give him the impression I wanted to be with him. He broke off his engagement to be with me. How can I say no to the man?”
Her voice was strangled. I could see the war within her. I hated that she was going through the torment, but I had to admit I was happy to know I wasn’t so easy to kick to the side. It restored my bruised ego a bit. Not a lot, but enough to give me some hope.
“You can say no to whomever you choose. No one can force you into something you don’t want. Don’t make a decision because you’re being pressured into it. Take your time.”
She smiled and shook her head. “I made a mess of things. I practically begged him to dump her. Then he did, and I tell him I’m not sure I want him. He’s pissed.”
I chuckled. “I imagine so, but he’ll get over it.”
“We have a history together, William and I. I’ve worked with him for a couple years. We’ve developed a relationship based on that. We’ve spent a lot of time together, and I have gotten to know him and vice versa. I don’t know,” she said, running a hand through her hair. “I know you don’t want to hear any of this. I’m just so confused!”
I fought the urge to reach out and touch her, to offer her comfort. She didn’t need that kind of comforting.
“Take your time. If William truly loves you, he’ll wait,” I assured her. It was the best I could do.
She laughed. “Actually, I don’t think he will. He gave me an ultimatum. The man is impatient and is definitely not used to being told no, especially by me. I have always been such a pushover around him. I have somehow found the strength to tell him no, and it is seriously pissing him off.”
I laughed at her telling my big brother to get lost. That would have been some funny shit. Neither one of us was used to being shot down. We were spoiled in every way. I happened to find it attractive when she told me no all the time. Clearly, William didn’t feel the same way.
“I am sorry. William is his own man. Take your time and do what makes you happy. Don’t do something because he says to. Make sure you’ll be happy with what you decide,” I said and stood up.
I couldn’t stay there another minute. I was dying to touch her. I wanted to kiss her and hold her close. I couldn’t do that. She had tossed me to the side and run back to my brother the first time he had jangled his zipper. It was insulting and hurtful. I wouldn’t let myself be in her shoes. I wasn’t going to be the dumbass running to her every time she called.
“Thank you for the flowers and for letting me vent,” she said, following me to the door. “I do appreciate it.”
I nodded my head. “Anytime. I was serious earlier. I would like to be friends. I know it may be awkward at first. I can deal with that. I hope you do find your happiness, Amber. Take care,” I said and walked out the door.
I was caught up in my own thoughts and didn’t even recognize William striding toward me until he was practically in my face.
“What are you doing here?” he seethed.
I looked up and focused on his face. “I stopped by to see Amber.”
“Why? She told me she ended your stupid engagement.”
I shrugged. “We can still be friends. I wanted her to know that.”
He shook his head. “You don’t need to be friends. You don’t need to talk to her at all.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Won’t that make family gatherings awkward?”
He rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll find your next girlfriend, and Amber and I will be happy together. She isn’t going to choose you over me. I’m not sure what kind of game you’re running, but you’re wasting your time.”
“What do you mean choose you? She obviously told you everything. There isn’t a choice to be made,” I clarified.
“Oh, sure, play it cool. You always have to be the guy who doesn’t need anyone and comes and goes as he pleases. Do you really think that’s what she wants? She’s too mature for your silly games. Accept that she is going to choose me and go away. Stop trying to confuse her,” he said, his jaw clenching and spittle flying from his mouth.
I shook my head. “You’re crazy. Like, literally, I think you’ve lost your mind. It’s been a long time coming. All the pressure you put on yourself and our parents constantly telling you what to do has finally made you snap. She’s so much better than you. I really hope she comes to her senses soon and realizes it’s you who is playing games.”
His face was red, and I began to wonder if he was going to have a heart attack right there in front of me.
“I’m not playing games. Amber is mine. I told you she was mine first. Stay away from her. Quit trying to persuade her to be with you. If you do care about her, you’ll know she loves me. She’s always loved me. You’re a fool if you think she would ever go after the younger brother. Amber is smart, and she knows what she wants. She’s playing coy right now, and I’ll let her, but this game of hers isn’t going to last long,” he said in a low voice.
I smirked. “I don’t think Amber plays anything. If you’re smart, you’ll give the woman the space she asked for.”
“How do you know about that? What did she tell you?”
“Nothing, William. Nothing at all. Relax. I’m leaving now.”
I walked past him and left the building. I hadn’t been aware there was a competition to win Amber. I didn’t want any part of that game. I had known what I was getting into when I asked her to go along with my engagement charade. I had thought her feelings toward me had changed. Maybe they had. Maybe she did care about me, but it wasn’t enough to keep her away from my brother.
I didn’t want to get into a pissing match with him. I wasn’t going to beg Amber to be with me. That was not my style. She knew my number. If she wanted me, she could call. I wasn’t about to grovel. That was a bullshit game I didn’t play. William could bend over backward trying to get back into her good graces. I wouldn’t.
There were too many willing women out there for me to be getting all twisted up over one.
Chapter Thirty-One
Amber
I had gone to bed thinking about Harry. It hadn’t been on purpose. The last thing I saw before I headed into my room were the flowers sitting on the counter. It had been such a sweet gesture. I hated that no one else knew the real Harry. Then again, I kind of liked the idea that only I knew the man behind the facade. It made it very mysterious and romantic.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, panting and with a fine sheen of sweat over my body, I blamed him. I had found myself in the middle of an erotic dream with him as the star. His face had been covered by one of those masquerade masks. We had been dancing at what I thought was his parents’ house. There were people all around us. Instead of
the typical string music one would expect at a ball, it had been that heavy beat we had had sex to the second time.
My mind had bounced back and forth between the masked man being William and then Harry. It was the same war I had been having for days. Part of me had wanted it to be William behind the mask. I had wanted it to be William who was making my blood boil and heat pool between my legs. But I had stared at the lips and knew they belonged to Harry. I knew those pouty lips very well. They had covered every inch of my body at some point. I knew what it tasted and felt like to bite that lower lip as his fingers plunged deep inside me.
I knew every hard line on the face and those blue eyes that were similar to his brother’s but so much deeper. Harry’s eyes were soulful and deep. Whenever I looked into those eyes, I could practically feel passion dancing over my nerve endings.
“It was just a dream,” I told myself, trying to calm down my raging libido.
I closed my eyes, and once again, Harry’s face was there. His hands were roaming over my body, stoking a fire deep within. I was desperate for him to fill me. No matter how much I begged, he wouldn’t penetrate my body with his huge cock.
“Please.” My harsh plea woke me up from another erotic dream.
I looked at the clock and saw it was close to five. I had to get up soon. I knew there was no way I was going to get any real sleep with the way I kept fantasizing about the man. He was haunting me. It had been too long since I had felt his touch. I couldn’t imagine a world where I never felt his touch again. Harry had been a master in bed. Sex with him had taken me to entirely new levels of pleasure. I’d had no idea my body could feel so good that I could feel as if I were exploding into a million pieces. For the first time in my life, I had seen stars bursting in front of my eyes with an orgasmic release so powerful, I had thought I’d blacked out for a few seconds.
Thinking about sex with him was making me ache even more. My body was tense, and I could feel my pussy throbbing, demanding release. I couldn’t have Harry. He wasn’t going to slide his fingers inside me and bring me to one of those mind-blowing orgasms I craved.
I couldn’t go to work like this, though, either. I was so primed and on the verge. I would be rubbing my legs together and feeling wet all day if I didn’t do something to take the edge off.
With one hand, I threw the blanket off my overheated body. The instant flash of cool air did little to squelch the fire burning within me. I ran my hand over my breasts through my satin nightshirt, loving the feel of the soft material caressing the sensitive flesh. I hiked up the shirt, exposing my stomach. Gooseflesh covered my body as I ran my hands over my stomach and under my shirt. I squeezed my eyes closed, imagining Harry’s hands on my body.
I was panting with need. I ran one hand down my torso, sliding under the waistband of my matching pink silk shorts. I could feel heat radiating from my pussy. I was so horny. I couldn’t ever remember feeling so sexually charged after a dream. I felt like a cat, rubbing my legs together, begging to be petted.
“Please,” I whispered, knowing there was no one there to satisfy my needs.
This was a solo act. I rolled to my side, opened my nightstand drawer, and reached to the back. I moved a couple things around and found what I had been looking for. It had been a while, but my dildo was right where I had left it. Desperate times called for desperate measures. My fingers wouldn’t do. After being with Harry, I needed full penetration.
I yanked my shorts and panties down, feeling feverish and desperate. I lay back on my bed, completely exposed from the waist down. I opened my legs and let the breeze from the ceiling fan overhead gently brush over my exposed lips.
I reached between my legs, ran a finger over my clit, and nearly came off the bed. I was so wet and swollen. The slightest touch nearly sent me over the edge. I used two fingers from one hand to spread my pussy lips wide, exposing the sensitive flesh. I rubbed a finger over myself, letting the sensations spiral through my body. I rubbed circles around and around, bringing myself close to my climax before backing off.
The entire time I touched myself, I thought about Harry and how he could make me come numerous times. He was a master. Every purposeful touch took me higher. He knew how to kiss me behind the ear and when to apply pressure on my clit to give me the most satisfaction.
I moved my hand to the left and grabbed the dildo. I could make myself come just by tweaking my clit, but I needed to feel that fullness inside. The dildo didn’t quite measure up to Harry’s girth. I ran the head of the toy over my opening, letting my juices lube it up before I slowly pushed it inside me.
“Oh fuck.” I moaned, feeling the climax building.
I pushed it in deeper and began to move it in and out, up and down. I was so close. I wanted to prolong the climax and stopped the movement. I closed my eyes and relished in the feel of being filled, even if it was lacking in size and strength. I let my imagination run wild and pictured Harry’s dick deep inside me. I ran my fingers over my stretched opening before finding my sweet spot.
“Yes,” I moaned. “Yes, yes, yes!”
I simultaneously moved the dildo and rubbed my G-spot with my finger. My body arched and then burst into a lovely orgasm. My pussy clamped down on the dildo as my body wept. I rode out the aftershocks, leaving the dildo buried inside me, just as Harry would have done.
I pulled it out and tossed it to the side and let my breathing slow. It had been fantastic, but I longed for Harry. I wanted him. Maybe we could have a one-last-time thing. I could feel the wetness under my ass and smiled. Even masturbating with him leading the fantasy was better than ever. I rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. I felt all tingly between my legs. I had taken the edge off, but I wanted more.
Once I cleaned everything up and hid the evidence of my self-pleasure, I headed for work. I hoped I wouldn’t run into William. I was feeling guilty. I had fantasized about his brother and masturbated to the image of him in my mind.
Thankfully, William was already in the office behind a closed door when I arrived. He popped his head out a couple times to smile or ask for something, but he didn’t call me in. I was beyond relieved. I was still tingly from my earlier orgasm.
“Amber.” William’s voice cut through what was on the way to being another inappropriate fantasy.
“Hmm?” I said, not looking up from my computer screen.
“Amber,” he said again more firmly.
I looked up to find him staring at me. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. Fine. Why?”
“Your cheeks are a little flushed. Are you coming down with something?” he asked, leaning back a few inches.
I shook my head, embarrassed to have been caught in such a state. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and knew it had nothing to do with a virus. Unless Harry was contagious, William was safe from what was making me feverish.
“I’m fine, perhaps a bit warm.”
He smiled. “I think you’re hot,” he whispered.
I laughed. It wasn’t often he was flirty. I liked when he was.
“I think you’re hot, too,” I said with a wink.
He grinned, and I was instantly taken back to our trip away from the daily grind. He had been so much more relaxed and at ease. I had gotten to see that playful grin for the first time.
“Are we going to be able to get lunch today? I was thinking maybe I could take you to my parents’ diner. I’d like you to see it. The food is great. You’ve never had a mushroom burger like the one my dad makes,” I said with a smile. “I want you to see how the other half lives,” I joked.
He wrinkled his nose and looked as if he smelled dog poop. “I can’t. I, uh, already have plans today. I’m sorry. Maybe another time.”
I looked at him and knew he was lying. “Oh, you do? I didn’t see that on your calendar.”
He nodded. “Yes. Last minute. I just wanted to stop and say hi. It’s been busy this morning, and I haven’t had a chance to see you. Maybe after lunch or tonight for dinner.�
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I shook my head. “Sorry. I have plans for tonight.”
“You do?” he asked. “With who?”
“My friend, Courtney.”
I was lying. We didn’t have plans. I didn’t want him to ask me to dinner. I was feeling hurt by his reaction to eat at my parents’ place. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt offended. I was probably being overly sensitive. Harry would have never acted like that. He had happily eaten at the diner and seemed to enjoy it.
“Oh, well, maybe we can grab lunch later this week,” he said, back to his charming self.
I tilted my head at him. “We’ll see.”
“Amber, don’t be like that. I have plans today. I do have a business to run,” he said haughtily.
I smiled. “Yes, you do.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later,” he said and walked away.
I released a long sigh. As much as I wanted to be with him, it always felt wrong. He didn’t accept me for who I was. I always felt like I had to pretend to be someone else when I was with him. Like I wasn’t quite good enough for him. I knew I felt like that because he had made it clear that was exactly the case. Something was holding me back, telling me not to jump into a relationship with him. It wasn’t only Harry that had me rethinking the whole situation with William. It was everything my mom and Courtney had said and instinct. I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right.
I needed to figure it out and soon. William wasn’t going to wait around forever.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Harry
This was a time I wished I had something to do, like a job. I was going out of my mind thinking about Amber and William together. She didn’t want me. She had never truly wanted me. The brief time we had been together was more about scratching an itch. She didn’t have William to satisfy her needs, so I was the runner-up. As usual. Once again, I was in second place.
For my own sanity, I had to get out of my apartment tonight. I had to go out and let loose. Returning to my old habits was the best way to put the whole Amber thing behind me. It had been a nice interlude, but now it was time to get back to real life. It was time to say fuck it and go back to my old ways. It was so much easier that way. I wanted to shut off the feelings and let it ride.
