by Noelle Adams
When she’d finished working on her hair, she found her phone and pulled up a dating app—one she’d always hesitated about using because it seemed to focus more on hookups than relationships.
She filled out the brief form, uploaded the best pictures she had of herself, and submitted her profile.
Then she went to her bedroom to find the outfit she’d bought yesterday and tried it on to make sure it was what she wanted to wear on her date tonight.
She felt better—having taken a few solid steps.
She was going to get what she wanted, one way or another.
And she wasn’t waiting around for Patrick anymore.
***
The next day, after she’d finished her baking, she came out to the main room of Tea for Two to make sure everything was running smoothly.
Ginny had a doctor’s appointment, so she wasn’t coming in until the afternoon. Carol was actually relieved by that. She wasn’t usually very good about keeping secrets—any secrets—and Ginny would probably notice something was wrong if Carol spent too much time with her.
The shop was quiet this morning, and there was no one in line. Rachel was wiping down tables and talking to a few college students, who were drinking tea and eating cranberry scones.
Since it was a down time, Carol picked up her phone to check messages.
Both Ginny and Emma had texted to see how her date had gone last night. She replied it had gone fine for a first date. Nothing special but she wouldn’t be opposed to seeing him again.
And Carol had several notifications on that dating app she’d joined yesterday.
She pulled it up, scrolling through the guys who had expressed interest in her.
It was nice.
That men were interested.
Some of them looked creepy, and some looked like losers, but there were two who might have some potential. She clicked to show she was interested and then put down her phone before she got scared and deleted her entire profile.
When she turned around, she saw a small blonde was standing in front of the counter, the one who lived in the loft apartment above the shop. Jill was her name.
“Hey there,” Carol said with a smile. “I’m sorry. Have you been waiting long?”
“No. I just walked in.” Jill was wearing a purple corduroy jacket, and her hair was pulled into two loose ponytails. The style looked so cute on Jill, but Carol knew she herself could never pull it off. “You looked like your phone just bit you.”
Carol laughed. “That’s exactly how it felt. I just joined one of those dating apps. It’s kind of scary.”
“I keep telling myself I should try them, but then when it gets right down to it, I never do it. I’m just not good at risk.”
“I’m usually not either. But I have some motivation, so I’ve decided to take the plunge.” She liked the interest and understanding in Jill’s eyes. It really felt like the two had a lot in common. “What can I get you today?”
“I’ll have that good Earl Grey today. And one of those chocolate cupcakes.”
As Carol worked on preparing her order, Jill asked with what felt like an intentional casualness, “Hey, you know Patrick Stevenson, don’t you?”
Carol’s spine stiffened dramatically as she held a mug in her hands. “Yes.”
If Jill was going to announce that she’d been paired up with Patrick on a dating site, then Carol was going to lose it then and there.
“I’ve seen him in here a lot, sitting with you and your friends. You know him pretty well, I guess?”
“Y-yes. His sister is one of my best friends.”
Jill nodded. She looked slightly hesitant. “I… I hope this isn’t inappropriate. But I heard his company might be hiring. Do you happen to know if that’s true?”
Carol released her breath so quickly it made a gusting sound. “Yes,” she said with a smile. “It is. He said he needs to hire like four new people. Why? Are you interested?”
“Yes. I’m so interested. I’ve been doing software development for a company in California for three years now, but I’ve been working remotely and they’ve decided they want everyone in-house. So I either have to move or find another job. I’ve heard good things about Patrick Stevenson, so I was hoping he might be hiring. I don’t really want to leave Blacksburg.”
“You should definitely apply. I think they’re putting the job ads out soon.”
“You like him, right?”
Carol blinked, wondering if even a stranger like Jill had picked up on her interest in Patrick. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“You think he’d be… you think he’d be a good boss, don’t you?”
Letting out a relieved breath, Carol replied, “Oh yes, definitely.”
“And you think the culture at his office would be… comfortable for a woman? I don’t mean to cast doubt on his character or anything, but I try to be careful. It’s not always easy to be a woman in this field. And some offices are… Well, they’re not what I’d want.”
“Oh, not at all! Patrick would be great to work for. It’s a small office, but there are three women there—and two are developers. The other is Emma, Patrick’s sister. He’s a really great guy, and Emma says he really makes sure all his employees treat each other right. I guess he even monitors them online. Some guy who worked for him a couple of years ago was a jerk online, and Patrick got rid of him right away. He doesn’t put up with that. He’s such a good guy.”
Carol meant it—every word—despite what had happened between her and Patrick the day before.
He might have hurt her, but he hadn’t done it on purpose.
Patrick was still one of the best men she knew.
Jill shook her head with a little smile. “All right, now I really want to work for him. I’ll keep my eye out for those job ads and apply right away.”
“You definitely should. I’ll mention you to Patrick too. Not that I can vouch for you or anything, but just so he notices your application.”
Jill was grinning now. “Thank you! I’ll try not to get my hopes up, but I’m excited.”
Carol knew exactly how she felt.
She wasn’t any good at not getting her hopes up either.
She’d gotten her hopes up with Patrick, and look what that had led her to.
Nothing but disappointment.
She slumped a little as she remembered Patrick’s face the afternoon before.
She rang up Jill’s order and said goodbye. Then she went to pick up her phone again.
One of the guys had already sent her a message.
She replied to it.
She wasn’t going to brood about Patrick.
She was going to move on.
And she was even going to be happy about it.
Eventually.
Six
Three weeks later on a Saturday morning, Patrick was sitting at a table in Tea for Two, pretending to work on his laptop.
He was mostly watching some guy flirting with Carol and trying not to snarl about it.
She was helping out behind the counter this morning since they were busy, and some overdressed guy had come in and made a beeline for her. Patrick had to assume the guy knew her because Carol had beamed as soon as she saw him and gave him a hug like he was an old friend.
The guy wore khakis, leather shoes, and a button-down Oxford. He also had on a flashy watch, and his teeth were unnaturally white. Everything about his appearance seemed designed to impress people, and Patrick had always been annoyed by men like that.
He was definitely annoyed by the way the guy kept hanging around Carol, even though he’d gotten his coffee and she was obviously busy serving customers.
Patrick scowled at the screen to his laptop. If Carol didn’t stop smiling at him that way, the guy was never going to leave.
For the past few weeks, Carol had turned into some sort of social butterfly. She’d never been like that before. She’d always been the type to stay home or to go out in a group with her friends. Naturally she’d d
ated occasionally, but she was looking for someone serious and had never wanted to waste her time with guys who’d only wanted to hook up.
Something had changed though. She was going out with three or four guys a week, and she didn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.
It was making Patrick crazy.
Of course he knew he’d handled things badly with her. Of course he knew he never should have had sex with her—much less twice in the span of an hour. He also knew he’d not done a good job explaining to her that a relationship between them was hopeless.
He kept repeating to himself it was better this way. Carol would never have been happy if she’d settled for him, just because they were the only two of their group left.
And Patrick cringed every time he imagined how he would feel a year from now, two years, five years, ten years, when Carol realized he wasn’t what she really wanted.
It didn’t matter if Carol thought it was fun and fitting that they get together. It didn’t matter that the rest of their friends all acted like it was perfectly natural.
That wasn’t the way relationships were supposed to work.
So Patrick had done what he’d believed was the best—as clumsily as he’d bumbled through it—and he was prepared to deal with the consequences.
He’d assumed the consequences would include Carol being sad and fragile for a while.
He’d never dreamed she would decide to set out on some sort of dating frenzy.
She was giggling now, and the obnoxious guy was staring openly at her cleavage. There was a brief respite from the crowd of customers, and Patrick prayed for a big group to come in.
Anything to take Carol’s attention off that guy.
She seemed to really like him.
She seemed to like the way he was leering.
She seemed to want to see even more of him.
Patrick had a sudden visual of Carol in bed with that guy—soft and warm and passionate and uninhibited—and his stomach twisted into a sickening knot.
Sex with her was better than any sex he’d had in his life.
And he somehow knew nothing else would ever rival it.
He’d never been a particularly adventurous guy. He was smart and serious and hardworking and kind of boring.
He hadn’t felt boring with Carol.
He’d felt like he’d become the man he’d always wanted to be.
He clamped down over the memories. He couldn’t indulge them. It was wrong, and it would only serve to torture himself.
He couldn’t have Carol, so he needed to stop thinking about her.
She could go out with whomever she wanted.
It wasn’t his business anymore.
It never really had been.
He was making a concerted effort to focus on the work he had pulled up on his laptop, and he was concentrating so intently that he wasn’t aware when someone came over and sat down in the chair beside him.
He jerked slightly when he realized it was his sister. She was giving him a very strange look.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, scanning his face with sharp scrutiny.
“Nothing. What do you mean? I was just working.”
“You weren’t working. It looked like you were mentally stomping someone into bits.”
“I wasn’t doing anything of the kind,” he grumbled. “I was working.”
Emma raised her eyebrows, obviously skeptical, but she didn’t pursue the topic. She smiled when Carol came over with a mug full of tea and set it down on the table.
“Here you go,” Carol said. “We just got this in, so you need to tell me what you think.”
Emma took a sip and smiled. “Wow. I like it. It’s really different.”
Carol nodded and looked like she was about to respond, but then she glanced back at a line forming at the counter. “I don’t know why they always come in big batches,” she murmured before hurrying over to help the college student who was also behind the counter.
Patrick looked over and was displeased to see the flashy guy was still lurking, just waiting for his turn to pounce.
When he turned back to Emma, Patrick immediately realized his mistake.
Emma looked from him to the flashy guy and back again, her face relaxing with enlightenment. “Oh.”
Patrick scowled. “Oh what?”
“You had your shot with Carol and you blew it,” Emma said lightly. “You can’t be sulky that other guys are interested in her.”
“I’m not sulky.” Then Patrick caught up to what she’d said. His spine stiffened. “What do you mean, I had my shot with Carol? What did she tell you?”
He hadn’t thought she’d told anyone about them. He certainly hadn’t, although both Noah and Ryan had asked a few leading questions as if they were trying to nose around. His only comfort in this whole torturous situation was that no one except him and Carol knew what had happened between them.
But Emma obviously knew something.
She rolled her eyes. “Give me a little credit, would you? Carol didn’t tell me anything. Carol, who can’t keep a secret to save her life, kept it to herself. Just think about that and you’ll know why we’ve all been wondering. But we know something happened. She was into you, and then she suddenly wasn’t. And now she’s dating like her life depends on it. Something happened even though neither of you will tell us what it is.”
Patrick just stared at his sister. She had brown hair and brown eyes just like him, and she was two years younger than him. Right now she seemed older and wiser somehow, and Patrick felt like an absolute fool.
God, what a mess he’d made.
He’d known better, but he’d made the mess anyway.
“Shit, Patrick.” Emma’s expression had changed into something worried, urgent. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled.
“Why the hell didn’t you do something when you had the chance?”
He had done something. Even knowing it was a mistake.
That was the problem.
“I said I’m fine,” he said with a growl in his tone. He knew his sister loved him and that she was concerned about him, but he really wanted this conversation to be over.
“If you just tell her how you feel, I’m sure you two can work it out. She was really into you.”
Patrick swallowed hard. He hated the past tense in her words. Hated it.
But he knew that whatever Carol had felt for him before wasn’t real, wasn’t what he really wanted.
And the proof was in the way she’d rebounded immediately, jumping right into the arms of any number of other guys.
Hopefully she wasn’t actually in their arms, but still…
“I don’t feel anything,” he lied. “And it’s better this way.”
Emma shook her head, her expression confused and resigned. But she didn’t say anything else, and soon Ginny and Ryan came in to join them so she didn’t have the chance.
***
An hour later, Carol was pulling a tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven in the back.
She was usually done with all the baking by now, but they’d been so busy earlier that they’d run out of cinnamon rolls, so she’d come back to whip up another batch.
She smiled down at the warm, golden goodness, pleased with how they’d turned out.
She was also pleased that Tom, whom she’d met for coffee earlier in the week, had stopped by Tea for Two. He’d obviously stopped by just to see her.
While she didn’t think there was much of a future with him—he was a little too smooth and superficial for her taste, and she was still working on getting excited about any man except Patrick—it was still nice that Tom was interested.
Patrick wasn’t the only man in the world.
Patrick wasn’t the only possible man for her.
Her happiness and well-being weren’t dependent on him, and she wasn’t going to act like they were.
She’d done pretty well for the past three weeks. She was proud of hers
elf for moving on with her life and not brooding about Patrick, no matter how much it had hurt to lose even the possibility of him.
She was doing well, and she was going to keep doing better every day until it didn’t even hurt her to see him.
People got their hearts broken every day. It was something you could get over.
She was reviewing all that in her mind when a voice from behind her made her jump.
“Hey.”
Patrick. He was looking particularly sexy and adorable this morning with rumpled hair, a wrinkled shirt, and a thick five-o’clock shadow.
She composed her face quickly and smiled at him. “Hi.”
“I’m taking off,” he said, his eyes running up and down her body quickly before returning to her face. “Just saying bye.”
“Okay. You busy today?” He usually hung around on Saturday mornings for longer than he had today.
“Y-yeah. Got some stuff to do.”
“Okay.” She glanced down at her tray of cinnamon rolls, feeling strangely awkward and stiff. She and Patrick used to be able to have casual conversations. He’d obviously stopped by here now to be friendly and natural. He clearly didn’t want anything tense or uncomfortable lingering between them. She didn’t want that either, so she needed to try to act normal. “Emma, Ginny, and I are trying on dresses this afternoon.”
“I know. Emma told me.” Patrick stood in place and looked at her for a minute, and she couldn’t read his expression. He adjusted the strap of his leather saddlebag on his shoulder.
She shifted from foot to foot, wondering why he wasn’t leaving. She didn’t know what to say.
“So that guy,” he said at last.
She frowned. “What guy?”
His casual face was quickly becoming something else, something more normal for him. Serious and slightly grumpy. “The guy you were flirting with out there.”
She gasped. “I wasn’t flirting!”
He arched his dark eyebrows.
Carol’s awkwardness had completely evaporated. She curled up her lip. “Don’t you give me that obnoxious look. Whether or not I flirt with someone is none of your business.”
“You just said you weren’t flirting.”
