But while she stood there holding the thin white envelope in her hands she began to get the strangest feeling about it. Impulsively and with Theo watching her, she slipped a finger along under the flap of the envelope and opened it, taking out a single sheet of paper. It was folded in half and written in the same big, bold script that appeared on the envelope—and it was in English.
Her eyes went at once to the signature at the foot of the page and she saw through suddenly hazy eyes the name written there, and smiled. Refolding it carefully, she placed it back in the envelope with hands that were not quite steady, aware that Theo was still waiting, and expecting, to be enlightened.
'Well?' he prompted, and Bethany looked up at him and smiled, rather absently, although she did not realise it.
Once more it was Captain Spiros who forestalled an explanation, for he was already back on board and waited only for his single passenger to join them before he gave the order to sail. Theo was unaccustomed to having to consider other people's timetables, and as he seemed not to have noticed that he was holding up the ferry's departure, Bethany touched a hand to his elbow to remind him, when the boat's klaxon blew.
'You must hurry, Theo, you're holding up the ferry/
Theo glanced over his shoulder impatiently, but he had little option but to move along with her towards the little caique's heaving gangway, though he stood at the foot of it instead of going aboard, still more interested in who her letter was from than in any urgency of the ferry's captain.
'You must go, Theo, really!' Bethany tiptoed impulsively and kissed his cheek. So much for discretion, but she was not in a mood to consider gossip at the moment, nor to notice the eye-rolling among the men in the boats anchored nearby. 'Have a good journey, Theo! Be happy!'
'Bethany '
'Kirie, kirie, hurry if you please! We leave at once I'
Caught between two stools, Theo turned back and
forth between them, then eventually saw no alternative and shrugged resignedly before he turned to take the swaying gangplank in long awkward strides. He was barely on board before it was pulled in after him, but he stood in the opening it had left, looking at Bethany on shore. Surrounded by slapping lines on deck and the noisy chug of the caique's engine as it came reluctantly to life with a choking stench of diesel fumes, Theo frowned.
He stepped back hastily when one of the crew swung the hinged rail into place over the gap, then called something to Bethany above the clamour of the engine and the authoritative bellow of the captain in the door of his wheelhouse. *Who is it, Bethany?*
It was impossible not to smile at his insistence, and there was really no need for secrecy, so she sent the answer after him as she waved her hand. The words were half lost in the noise and the brisk wind that slapped into his face the moment the caique began to mpve.
*My father!' Bethany called to him. *It's from my father!'
CHAPTER NINE
'Bethany, I may call you that because it was I who chose your name, the name you have kept even though you took your stepfather's surname,'
Bethany read the words for the hundredth time, sitting curled up on the small bed that had been hers for as long as she could remember. The big bold writing was in some ways oddly similar to Papa's, and that struck her as odd when she had always thought of the two men as so dissimilar.
7 should have at least had the courage to tell you who I was when I spoke vjith you that evening, and to ask for your forgiveness/ the letter went on, 'but courage was never m,y strong point, and you so clearly despised the man you knew only by reputation. Who could blame you? Your stepfather was obviously so much more worthy of your love, but I would ask you now to forgive me, Bethany, and perhaps sometimes try to think a little more kindly than you have to date, of the man who fathered you. No doubt Pavlos Meandis was more worthy of your love, but having seen you I realise what might have been. May the gods protect you, daughter. Apollo {Michael Apollo Scott).''
Bethany knew the words almost by heart, having read it through so many times in the past half-hour, but still she could not bring herself to a point where she completely understood the smooth and remarkably handsome stranger who was her father. What made it -harder, she realised, was the fact that Michael Apollo Scott had more in common with Papa than she cared to admit. Both had deserted their families for a more unfettered existence, but having been deprived of the one's love, and nurtured in the love of the other, she found it hard to see them in the same light. Heracles had understood and forgiven his father; Bethany found it harder.
She intended to show Nikolas the letter, but she had needed a little while to reflect first, for after all the letter was the first informed contact she had had with her own father for more than thirteen years. In fact Nikolas was the first person she saw when she came downstairs, and she handed him the envelope bearing Apollo's black bold handwriting, with a wary little smile. Their last tete-^-tete had ended angrily, only a matter of hours ago, and she had no wish to repeat the experience.
'I've had a letter from my father,' she ventured. I'd like you to see it, Nikolas.'
Wordlessly he took it from her and opened out the single sheet, and from the time he took to read it, it was obvious he went through it more than once. Then he folded it and slipped it back into its envelope with almost studied care before he spoke. His first words took her completely by surprise. 'Do you forgive him, Bethany?'
*Why—yes, of course.' She held the letter in both her hands and had to admit herself touched by the tone of it, then raised her eyes to Nikolas's dark and oddly troubled face. *Don't you think I should forgive him?' she asked. 'It was you who pointed out to me that he was probably more to be pitied than blamed in the present circumstances.'
A^brief smile touched his mouth for a moment. 'But that is no guarantee that you'd accept my judgment,' Nikolas told her. 'I'm glad you no longer feel quite so bitter about him, though, Bethany.'
'I don't suppose I shall ever see him again,' she ventured a little wistfully, 'and there doesn't seem much point in hating someone you—^well, feel sorry for in a way.'
'No point at all,' Nikolas agreed, and once more she caught a glimpse of a smile. 'You're not very good at sustaining hate, are you, little one?' Her swift questioning look brought another smile, and he shook his head slowly. 'You hated me, I seem to remember, but ' Unexpectedly a hand reached out and rip-
pled strands of tawny hair through his long fingers. Tou don't still hate me, do you, Bethany?'
Her heart was racing, bringing a warmth to her cheeks that she had no control over, and that wild, almost wanton sense of need deepened her breathing until the rise and fall of her breast was as exaggerated as a deliberate movement. *You know I don't hate you,' she whispered.
'Then you forgive me too?' Long brown fingers continued their stroking movement and lightly touched her neck with their warm tips until she could scarcely control her trembling. *foT this morning,' he reminded her with a faint smile, *Theo and I had a very enlightening talk before he left, and it seems I misjudged you—I'm sorry.'
She shook her head, for it was hard to remember how bitterly they had blamed one another that morning, and she more clearly recalled Theo's remarks about her caring about Nikolas. She did care about him, but she had not realised quite how much until this moment as he stood running his fingers through her hair, lightly, almost deliberately it seemed, arousing a response that must have shown in her eyes before she concealed them with lowered lids.
Her mouth trembled softly, already anticipating his kiss; willing and ready to yield because at the moment she could not think beyond the remembered strength of his arms and the fierce warmth of his lips. It was into that wildly wanton mood of anticipation that Alexia intruded with her gentle, quiet voice.
*Ah, there you are, child; did Theo get away safely?'
To Bethany it seemed like an age since she saw Theo off on the ferry for Piraeus, and she hastily and reluctantly brought herself back to practicalities. *Oh yes. Aunt Alex, althou
gh he had to make a dash for it before Capitan Spiros pulled up the gangway 1'
'He'll be home by morning,' said Nikolas, and from his voice those few intimate moments might never have happened. It was difficult to see his eyes for the thick screen of their lashes, but he seemed perfectly normal
and unaffected. 'I have one or two things to do before dinner/ he went on. 'If someone would bring me some coffee to the studio—'
A brief look left little doubt about who he expected to bring him his coffee, and Alexia nodded. Til make some, Niko, and Bethany can bring it to you.'
Catching Bethany's eye for a second, he smiled, his own dark eyes deep and gleaming, so that the burning excitement he brought to life in her tingled through her as she turned to follow Alexia into the kitchen. Tlease do,' he said.
In the kitchen Alexia went about preparing the coffee tray, while Bethany filled the dish of loukoumi. 'I didn't know you were back, child,' said Alexia, and Bethany smiled apologetically.
'I'm sorry. Aunt Alex, I should have told you. But I had a letter—from my father, and I wanted to read it while I was alone.'
'Your father?' Bethany nodded. 'Has Does Nikolas know?'
'Oh yes.' She made it sound as casual as she could. 'I gave it to him to read. Don't worry. Aunt Alex, we— I shall never see him again.'
'Bethany dear '
'Oh, it's all right,' Bethany assured her hastily, 'I shan't make a fuss after all this time, although I'm glad I at least spoke to him.' Anxious to change the subject she swiftly passed on to their erstwhile visitor. 'It's going to seem very quiet without Theo, even though he was only here for one day.'
Taking the hint with her customary understanding. Alexia nodded. 'Never mind, child, we shall all be back with the family very soon now.'
Bethany stared at her and her heart was thudding hard and fast suddenly. 'You—you mean—^^back to Rodos?'
'Yes, of course,' Alexia agreed, and did not attempt to hide her own pleasure at the prospect. 'Takis is due to start at his new school very soon now, and we shall need to settle ourselves before then.'
Quite plainly Alexia had no fault to find with the arrangement, but to Bethany it was a moment she had been dreading ever since they returned from that first visit to Rhodes. And she shied away, as always, from the very idea of leaving Apolidus, presumably for good. 'Are you sure?' she insisted anxiously, although she knew it even before Alexia nodded.
*Yes, of course I'm sure, child,' she told her. *You must have realised it would come one day, Bethany. You—I wish you wouldn't look so—^stricken, child.'
It was something she had put to the back of her mind, determined to banish the very idea, as if by doing so she could prevent it happening. She knew how happy Alexia was about going, but she could think only of her own feelings at the moment. She was half afraid to leave her safe little island, as Nikolas had more than once termed it, but she did not expect anyone else to understand how she felt. Apolidus had always meant something special to her, and for so long now that she felt dismay at the prospect of living anywhere else.
*I don't want to go with you. Aunt Alex!' She appealed to the old lady, but Alexia, it was clear, did not understand her fear; her reluctance to tear herself away from familiar surroundings and be plunged in to a whole new way of life. *I.want to stay here in Apolidus, where I know everyone! I have to explain to Niko that he can't '
*My child, my child, he can't leave you here alone!' Alexia took her hands and held the trembling fingers in her own gentle ones. *He won't leave you here, child, you know he won't.'
'Then I'll just refuse to go—^he can't make mel Oh, why can't things just go on being as they were. Aunt Alex? Why?'
Bethany turned swiftly and went hurrying out, just as she had once before, what now seemed like a lifetime ago, and just as she had on that occasion she sought the solitary refuge of the hillside. Just as she had on the evening when her real father had drifted briefly into
her life again, she made for the dig that had now been exposed as nothing more than a hollow in the hillside. Instead of sitting down on its rim to brood as she had that evening, however, she made her way down the far side of the hill to the quiet beach where Nikolas had discovered her.
In the evening cool, a light breeze stirred the hair from her neck and threaded its teasing fingers through the silky strands, tossing it into disarray, while the thin cotton dress she wore moulded the contours of her body with caressing firmness. Recalling other firm, gentle hands, she curved her fingers over her breast and tilted her head to defy the taunting familiarity of the breeze.
Theo had tried to warn her, she could see that now, but she had not looked upon the prospect as imminent, choosing to ignore it as she did the question of her marriage, until it became unavoidable. The house was hers, Nikolas had told her that, and if she insisted Nikolas would have to let her stay. Or so she told herself as she walked along the ruffled edge of the tide, but even if she stayed, would she be happy? With Takis and Alexia and Nikolas gone?
*Oh, Niko!'
The cry fell like a sob from her lips and she pressed her hands to her mouth because tears were running down her cheeks and she had never felt as she did now. It wasn't fair of him to snatch her away from everything she loved and put her among strangers. He was heartless, as she had often declared him to be. But if that was so she did not see why she found no pleasure in the thought of Apolidus without him.
The sun in the purpling sky looked exotic and unreal, tinting the sandy-red rocks to a deep crimson with its dying blood and turning the solitary little farmhouse on the hillside to a rich rose pink. Even the darting scallops at the edge of the tide advanced and retreated in ripples of golden-pink before deep purple waves but for the first time Bethany remained unaware and untouched by it all.
She never knew what made her turn her head when she did, but the sight of Nikolas coming along the beach towards her gave her a moment of wild exultation that was beyond anything she could account for. She tossed back her hair, but with her back to the wind it immediately blew forward across her face again and gave her only a striated view of him.
He was walking quite slowly and as she stood there on legs that felt on the point of collapsing under her, Bethany wondered at his leisurely pace, if he came seeking her in anger. Inevitably she attributed his appearance to anger because she had left Alexia to finish preparing the coffee she had promised to take to him, but when he got closer she saw not anger but some indefinable expression she could not understand.
His eyes were shadowed, not just by the approaching night, but by their heavy black lashes, and his mouth looked firm without that angry tightness she had come to dislike so much. He wore no jacket and short sleeves showed bare brown arms swinging easily at his side, the hands loosely rolled.
He stopped just in front of her as Bethany swung round to face him, her eyes downcast. 'What makes you always run away, Bethany?*
There was no anger in his voice either, only a soft note of reproach that was so affecting she hastily caught her bottom lip between her teeth. *I—I had something on my mind, that's all,' she explained.
'And you preferred to come out here alone rather than come to me and talk it over.' He gave her no time to confirm or deny, but went on with what he had to say as if he had to get it over quickly. *If you really want to stay on here, Bethany, you can.'
It made no kind of sense, she knew, but Bethany realised that it was not the speech she either expected or wanted to hear, and she gazed at him for a moment in almost shocked silence. Then she shook her head slowly, keeping her eyes on the tell-tale mouth that seemed to have a vulnerable look instead of its customary hardness. 'But if '
'Aunt Alexia is going and so is Takis, but you know that already. Aunt Alexia has her friends and her family from whom she has isolated herself for the past seven years to care for you and Takis. You cannot expect her to relinquish this chance to go home, nor Takis to give up his schooling.'
Her hands clasped
tightly together, Bethany coped with a churning sensation in her stomach as well as a thudding urgency of her heartbeat. *And you?' she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Nikolas met her eyes directly, a deep gleaming darkness showing between narrowed lids. *I have a business to run, Bethany, and family responsibilities.'
'And you blame me because you've neglected them, and you hate it here! I'm sorry, Nikolas!'
She saw the slightest tightening of his mouth and regretted it more than she had regretted anything in her life before. For all that he managed to speak quietly and seemingly without emotion. *I brought you back here because it was what you wanted,' he said.
'And you always do what I want I' Her voice quivered, close to tears.
'Yes, damn you I' Nikolas swore, then almost immediately brought his temper under control again. 'Now I have to turn back to reality and think about someone else for a change. Unlike you I can't hide for ever in a rose-coloured cocoon, I have other people to think about! I have to go back, Bethany.'
Her anguish showed plainly in huge grey eyes as wide as a child's, and her mouth was tremulous and appealing. But it was an appeal that Nikolas seemed prepared to resist, for he deliberately looked away, gazing at the sun as it slid deeper into the darkening sea.
'And leave me here?' Bethany whispered.
'If it's what you want.'
'Iti5!'
The words were dragged from her and came out as little more than a harsh whisper, but she turned away from him so that he should not see the tears that coursed unchecked down her cheeks. The thought of
facing a future without Nikolas, even if it meant staying on her precious island, was quite unbearable suddenly, and she wept for the need to choose between them. When Theo had warned her of just such a situation she had not realised just how fierce and painful the struggle would be.
Half turning her head, she spoke over her shoulder in a shiveringly thin voice. *When—^how soon do you go?'
'In two days.'
It sounded so very final that she bit hard on her quivering lip. Her eyes shimmered with tears and she ached for the strength of his arms around her and the warm excitement of his mouth. When she thought of all the days, months even years before her, suddenly the peace and tranquillity that Apolidus had to offer wasn't enough any more.
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