by Lauren Dawes
Chapter 13
Jerry had been sitting in the hard, plastic waiting room chairs for a little over an hour now. When he’d arrived at the hospital, he was told to go to the third floor––the ICU. At the direction of a nurse, he’d navigated his way to room three-thirty-two. He stood and stared at the door when he got there, hesitant to go inside. He didn’t know what he’d see, or how he felt about being there. He felt as if his common sense and his heart were being torn in two different directions. The indescribable urge to bolt from the hospital was overwhelming, but he resisted the pull and took his first step into the room.
His mother was lying on the bed with needles and tubes hooked into her body like she was some kind of science experiment. Her whole body was tucked tightly under the clean, white hospital blankets; her right arm resting on top of the blankets with a pulse monitor on her index finger.
‘Oh, mother,’ Jerry whimpered; rushing to her bedside and clasping her hand tightly. She still smelled of Chanel No 5, but the familiarity of it seemed out of place here in this cold, sterile place. Tears slid from his eyes like warm fingers caressing his cheeks. Using the back of his hand, he wiped them away before they could fall on the sheets.
‘I’m so sorry; so, so sorry,’ he sobbed, resting his forehead on their joined hands. ‘I’ve forgiven you, mother. I have. It’s in the past now. Just pull through this for me.’
‘She held out for as long as she could,’ a croaky voice said from the corner.
Jerry lifted his blurring eyes to see who was there and nearly felt like crying again. Mark was sitting in the fake, leather straight-backed chair; his warm, arrogant face looking ten years older than it actually was. ‘Did you see the doctor?’
‘Yeah. He said my mother has minor internal bleeding that they’re keeping an eye on. She may need surgery, but they won’t know until they get the results back from the last round of tests. Why did you lie to me?’
Mark swallowed thickly. ‘I didn’t know how else to get you down here. She said you wouldn’t come if you knew she was here, but I knew you would still come.’
Jerry looked down at his mother again, deciding that it didn’t matter what happened. He was here now even if it took … ‘Mark, what happened to her exactly?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t actually see the accident, but your mother was shopping uptown when she was hit by a car as she crossed the road. I was across the street getting a coffee when I heard the screams and the squealing of tyres. When I came out, I found her in the middle of the road with a crowd around her.’
Jerry looked at his mother’s bruised face and felt a fresh wave of tears wash down his cheeks again.
Mark added, ‘Someone had already called the ambulance by the time I’d walked over there and I came afterwards to make sure she was okay and to … to call you and let you know what was going on.’
‘I … I appreciate it Mark. Really I do,’ Jerry said staring into the eyes he missed seeing every day. They’d only broken up about four months ago, but the wound where he’d kept Mark in his heart still throbbed when he thought about the first man he ever truly loved. Jerry had thought they would be together forever. Their romance was the perfect fairytale. But that was over now. With a sigh, he looked back down at his mother and brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face with careful fingers.
‘Mr Beckitt?’ Jerry looked up in the direction of the doorway to find the same doctor he’d spoken to outside.
‘Yes?’
‘We’ve got your mother’s test results back. She’s going to need that surgery after all. We’ll get her prepped now and you can stay in the waiting room outside theatre if you like?’
Jerry cleared his throat. ‘Yes. Of course.’ He stood up, straightening his shirt so the creases couldn’t stick. Two orderlies had come into the room at the same time as Jerry had been speaking to the doctor and were busy getting ready to move his mother.
‘She’s in good hands Mr Beckitt. Don’t worry,’ the doctor said gently.
Jerry followed his mother out into the hallway, staying with her in the lift and to the theatre’s imposing doors until a nurse told him that he couldn’t come any further. He watched through the chicken-wire infused glass window as his mother was wheeled into an operating room on the right.
A hand under his arm drew his attention. ‘Jerry. Will you come and sit down?’ Mark asked gently. Jerry turned his attention to the warmth that was radiating out from his hand and closed his eyes, remembering when Mark used to touch his skin in a much more intimate way. ‘Jerry?’
‘I have to call Indi,’ he replied roughly, pulling free from Mark’s grip before he surrendered to his spell.
‘I think you should sit down,’ Mark pressed. Jerry just couldn’t take this right now. Seeing his mother after six months was enough shock for one day. Seeing Mark and having him so close again, smelling his skin again, would push him over the edge. He’d been teetering on that edge for four godforsaken months and he wouldn’t throw himself off now.
‘I need Indi more. Excuse me.’ He wandered out to the front of the hospital and into the bitter cold. A few flakes of snow drifted down around him as he pulled his phone from his pocket, dialled Indi’s number and started pacing impatiently.
‘Jer? How are you?’ she asked as a way of saying hello two rings in.
‘I’m alright Ind. Did you manage to close up the café okay by yourself?’
‘Yeah. It was fine. How’s Barb?’
He paused and looked back into the hospital like he could see through the walls and into the operating theatre. ‘She’s not so good. She’s in surgery right now.’
‘Oh God. You must be going through hell. Is there anything I can do for you?’
He smiled into the phone. ‘Yeah, just keep the café running while I’m away. I should be back in tomorrow afternoon or the day after.’
‘No problem. Can I bring you anything?’
He thought about that question for a long time, realising there was only one thing that would make him feel better. ‘Can you come down here? I know it’s late. I’ll pay for a taxi,’ he offered.
‘Of course I’ll come. I’ll see you soon, okay? Just hang in there.’
Jerry held back the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. ‘Thanks Ind. I’ll see you soon.’
Jerry hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket. He just stood there for a moment, acutely aware that he had begun swaying. With a hand on the closest wall, he steadied himself, knowing that when Indi got there, he’d feel better. When he felt like he could, he dragged himself back towards the waiting room.
Seeing his mother with all the tubes and wires in her body had dredged the forgiveness from him. She was his mother. She gave birth to him, raised him, loved him. She was the only mother that he had. His fingertips brushed one of the scars on his forearms and for the first time, he didn’t shudder. He thought he would never forgive her for what she did to him and to Indi, but seeing her near death had opened his eyes. He couldn’t keep living like he was—perpetually morose and hiding it. He was getting tired of pretending. Running his hand through his hair, he was at peace with his decision. He had forgiven her and already felt better for it.
Chapter 14
After Indi hung up her phone, she just stared at it for a while. Her stomach was twisting into gnarled knots, tightening more and more the longer she thought about Jerry and the pain he was suffering. He had sounded so desperate to see her. She had no idea what his state of mind would be like when she got to the hospital, but she would do everything in her power to comfort him like he had done for a her a thousand times before.
She pulled on the sweater Jerry had bought her one year for Christmas and changed into her jeans. Her coat needed to be washed after her scuffle with Wright, so she pulled on her only other winter clothing––a thin jacket––and zipped it up. Locking her apartment behind her, she left the building; stepping out into the bitterly-cold night air.
Her breath cau
ght in her throat as she hit the wall of freezing air, but she couldn’t afford to be sidetracked by it. She had somewhere to be. Hurrying along the darkened street, night’s frigid fingers clawed at the bare skin on her neck and cheeks. She shivered, pulling the collar of her jacket closer to her throat as the familiar prickle of being watched rushed over her skin again. Indi tried her best to ignore the feeling, but she was getting sick of always looking over her shoulder.
She was only a few blocks away from the hospital when she felt a gentle buzzing in her pocket. She stopped, huddling over the screen. It was Rhett. ‘Hel—’ was the only thing that came out of her mouth as she felt a strong hand clutch at the back of her jacket. She didn’t even have enough time to register what was happening to her. The only thing she knew was that she was being tugged backwards into the dark maw of the alleyway behind her.
The word rapist banged around in her skull like a fuck you until she wanted to scream in frustration. Memories of that night slithered into her subconscious without permission, demanding to be remembered again. She was back at that party, back with her foster brother and his friends, back behind a closed door with no way of getting out …
Tom pushed her heavily onto the bed, spreading her thighs wide with his knee.
‘No!’ Indi screamed, pushing against his massive hands and arms. A growl came from down low in his throat. Shocked into stillness, she watched as his hazel eyes seemed to shift to green then brown before the colour mixed together again. His lips peeled away from his teeth, revealing a sardonic grin.
The sound of the boys jeering and encouraging Tom brought her attention back to what was happening. ‘No,’ she said again, her voice cracking.
‘Come on Indi. We’ll be real gentle with you,’ he said in a voice deepened with desire.
‘We?’ she asked, hoping that she’d misheard him.
‘Yeah. Me and my brothers.’ His head turned to take in the other five boys in the room. Her head swivelled to their faces. They were all going to rape her, including her wretched foster brother. Indi’s eyes latched onto his face in particular. He was standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed so tightly across his chest that he looked as if he were in a little pain. A sneer pulled his lip up in the corner before she turned her attention back to the weight of Tom on her small body.
Lifting her arms above her head, he pinned them with one strong hand and lifted his body to hover over hers. Nipping her collarbone, the sting of broken skin roared through her. Tom licked her blood away before kissing his way down the rest of her body, pausing at the top of her skirt.
‘You’re real pretty,’ he growled, ripping the fabric off from around her hips. Indi bit her lip to stop herself from crying out. His rough, inexperienced hands probed her body, penetrating her core with little coordination. ‘Hey man, she’s wet. She’s enjoying it!’ He looked around at his mates before turning back to Indi. ‘You like that?’
‘No,’ Indi moaned.
‘That’s not what your body’s telling me. Hey? Look at that,’ he said. She squeezed her eyes shut. ‘Bitch! Look at me.’ Her eyes opened slowly. He had brought his fingers up to her face to show her. They were glistening and wet. Her body had betrayed her yet again.
‘Fuck mate, get on with it alright. We all need to have a go with her,’ one of the other boys said.
‘Yeah alright,’ Tom replied, shimmying out of his jeans and boxers. As he penetrated her, Indi disconnected from her body, thinking that it wasn’t happening to her. It was happening to someone that only looked like her. With her head rolled to the side, she watched through slitted eyes all the boys rubbing their own erections, watching their mate take the virginity of a thirteen year old girl …
With a gasp, Indi returned to what was happening now, and there was no way in hell she was allowing this to happen again. She would fight her way out of this one. Needing her hands free, she let her phone slide from her fingers. When it fell, it landed heavily––the screen dying on impact. The hand tugged at her jacket again, jerking her deeper into the yawning void. Indi reached for the zip of her jacket, tearing the slider down to the bottom. The sides of her jacket flapped around her like an open wound, giving Indi the opportunity she needed to slide her arms out.
Indi let the hand have the jacket and made a run for it. But she’d only managed a few steps when the hand reached out for the back of her sweater instead. Unlike the jacket, this was harder to get rid of. Short of cutting it off her, there was no way that she would be able to get away. Although Indi struggled to get free, the hand turned into an arm, which curled across her chest while the other arm twisted around her waist, and she was powerless against it.
The rapist pulled her back against his chest, dragging her deeper into the shadows. With every inch of ground he gained, Indi’s heart pounded harder and faster in her throat, bringing with it the burn of the adrenalin she needed in her blood. With her mind focussed, she scrambled to break free from his vice-like arms. Adrenalin was licking through her blood, the white flame of survival forcing her to react, to fight back. She braced her legs against a wall, pushing with every ounce of strength that she had. But it was all for nothing. She might as well have been pushing against a mountain for all the good that it did her.
She tried again and again, the result always the same. Exhaustion was leeching every last drop of energy Indi had as she continued the fight. She’d been in this situation before, and she’d got out of it then, so why not now. Her breathing sawed through her mouth as she thrashed and twisted and writhed against the hold, but he held her still.
He pulled her further into the shadows of the alleyway, the scents and smells of rotting garbage and death stinging her nose. Her muscles ached from fighting so hard against her attacker that her whole body grew slack. Dead weight was not easy to lift, but he lifted her so easily that she began to wonder what kind of drug he was under the influence of.
Her arms and legs were so heavy, her head like a lead weight attached to her neck. Staring down at her idle feet slowly moving away from the safety of the street, she noticed that her right pant leg had ridden up a little, revealing the top of her ankle sheath. Her knife, her salvation, was no more than a few feet away from her fingertips. She had only a heartbeat to decide. She could try and draw the blade now, or she could wait for a better opportunity. If she waited, there was a chance that he would find the blade and take it away, which only left her with one real option.
With lead-weighted arms and legs and dogged determination to get out of there alive, she lunged forward, hoping to grasp that familiar, safe feel of the handle in her palm. Her index finger grazed one of the leather straps before his strong arms found hers, pulling her up and pinning them to her side with a speed she wouldn’t consider to be at all human. With another quick motion, he spun her around so she could see his face.
Her breath left her in a rush. ‘Sam?’ she asked over the pounding of her heart in her ear. She was sure it was him. At least he looked like Sam, except that his eyes were a silver-white colour with a thick rim of black around the outer iris. Those eyes were so empty leaving Indi’s body wracked with a coldness that rivalled the arctic conditions swirling around them now. He shook his head to answer her question and smiled, revealing a pair of fangs two inches long and growing.
‘Not Sam,’ he said in a rumbling, low, bass voice. ‘Nox,’ he corrected.
Indi swallowed down on her pulse. ‘What the fuck are you?’
‘Vampire,’ he said before moving towards her with incredible speed. He rode her body down to the cold ground, putting all the pressure of his body onto her shoulders and legs. She expected to feel those fangs sink into her throat, but somehow she’d ridden his power down, her body shifting innately to avoid an attack on her throat.
She lay there for a moment, stunned and breathing heavily until pain lanced through her left shoulder. She winced and looked down to find his mouth latched onto the mass of muscle over her heart. A pleasant feeling of detachment f
looded over her as shock took over her body, protecting her from feeling anything except that lovely, cloud-floating sensation. She heard a snap, and like a light switching on somewhere in her head, the pain came like the floodgates had been opened. She screamed as he tore through her clavicle like it was made of glass not bone.
Nox reared back––his mouth red with her blood––and licked his lips hungrily. ‘You may be a half blood, but you still taste good,’ he growled before striking at her neck. Indi couldn’t move fast enough this time. His fangs slid into her neck, hitting her carotid. He started to bleed her dry. From her shoulder, she could feel her blood running down her skin like warm fingers, pooling in the hollow between her collarbones until sliding down both sides of her neck and dropping onto the cold ground. The feeling of detachment floated back over her.
This is it, she thought. This is what death feels like. It wasn’t so bad. At least she felt relaxed. The gentle sound of suckling was in her ear as a feeling of peace and tranquillity fell over her like a soft blanket. She gave up her fight against him, relaxing completely onto the frozen ground and staring up at the clear night sky. She’d never noticed before how few stars you could see in the city.
With her breath shivering out of her mouth, she felt her body growing colder and colder. She frowned. Something was coming from the sky, floating softly towards her. A snow flake landed on her eyelash. She blinked it away, the flake falling onto her cheek, although she didn’t feel it. She couldn’t feel anything anymore. She was just … numb.
Indi exhaled her last breath, feeling herself slip away into a cold, dark pool of death.
Chapter 15
‘Jerry? … Jerry?’
Jerry’s eyes opened slowly and saw the nine-hundred dollar pair of Ferragamos attached to his ex-partner’s feet from between his knees. With a small grunt, he lifted his head, feeling every single ounce of blood rushing back into his body. The scent of coffee lingered in his nose as he realised there was a Styrofoam cup being held up in front of his face.
