by Lauren Dawes
‘Indi?’ he asked, looking over at his sister.
‘Yeah?’ she asked without taking her eyes off Barb. They were glowing with rage, but she had stayed quiet so that he could do whatever he had to do.
‘We’re leaving.’
‘Good. Great. Let’s get the fuck out of here. This room is making my skin crawl.’
They both stood up together, Barb watching with a smug look on her face. ‘You two aren’t leaving, are you?’
‘Yes,’ Jerry replied coolly.
‘But there’s something I need to tell you both.’
‘What?’ Jerry snapped.
‘Sit down Jerry,’ she said seriously. Jerry sat down slowly, and when he was settled his mother said, ‘Your father and I are getting a divorce.’
‘You’re what?’
‘Don’t look at me like that Jerry. I can’t be associated with him now that he has a criminal record.’
‘You’ve been married for twenty-five years. How can you just divorce him when he needs you the most?’
‘Things have been rocky for a few years now Jerry, not that you would have noticed.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Barb, honey?’ a man’s voice suddenly called from the front hall; Jerry’s hand seized around Indi’s. He felt as if he was squeezing so that he was cutting off the circulation, but Indi didn’t flinch or try to take her hand back. If anything, she held on a little tighter. Desperation clawed at Jerry’s chest. He couldn’t see him so soon after finding out. He just couldn’t.
‘In here, darling,’ Barb called happily.
Dressed in a black Armani suit, Mark strode into the room with confidence, wrapping his arm around Barb’s waist and pulling her close to the front of his body. Their kiss was passionate, and Jerry had to close his eyes. It was only Indi’s warm hand in his that stopped him from running from the room.
‘Have you told them?’ Mark asked.
‘Not yet.’
‘Why is he here?’ Jerry asked through gritted teeth. Surely his mother knew how raw the wounds left from Mark were. Sometimes he felt as if he couldn’t leave his apartment he hurt so much.
‘I asked him around to show you what you were missing out on.’
‘I knew it,’ Indi said.
At the same time Jerry asked, ‘You did this on purpose?’ Barb nodded. ‘Why would you do that to me?’
‘Everything’s not about you, you know,’ she snapped. ‘I did it to hurt her.’ She lifted her chin in Indi’s direction, her cold eyes fixing on her target with an almost tangible weight.
*
Indi’s free hand curled into a fist under the table. She’d been staying quiet, letting Jerry handle his mother since they’d arrived here, but she had just taken it one step too far. She couldn’t hold her tongue any longer; she wouldn’t.
‘How could you do this to Jerry, your son? He did nothing to deserve this.’
‘No. He didn’t. But you did. You don’t understand anything, do you?’ Barb asked in a tone as cold as the blood that pumped through her veins.
‘Mother? What are you talking about?’ Jerry asked.
Pointing a French-tipped fingernail at Indi, she barked, ‘You turned my only son against his father and I. And then you convinced him to lie in a court of law for you.’
‘He didn’t lie,’ Indi argued. ‘He told the truth. Your husband raped me. He raped me.’
‘Why should I believe you? You’re just a sexually dysfunctional girl who seduced my husband and made up lies about him. You probably just wanted to fall pregnant with his child to lay claim to even more of his money. Wasn’t the one hundred thousand he left to you in Jerry’s bank account enough?’ She turned to her son; the stunned expression plain on his face. ‘Oh yes, Jerry. I know about that money. I know that he put hush money into your account for her.’ Barb’s wild eyes swung back to Indi. ‘But you didn’t stop there though, did you Indi? Did you?’ she screamed. ‘You wanted even more from me. You wanted to take my son away from me too.’
‘I’m pretty sure you took care of that yourself Barb,’ Indi snarled. ‘Or weren’t the twenty-five stitches enough of an incentive for him to get the hell out of your house?’
Barb’s face darkened. ‘You little bitch! I should have killed you when I had the chance!’
‘You can believe the truth or the lie you’ve created in your head Barb,’ Indi’s words crawled with anger. ‘But know this: your husband is a sexually sadistic lech, and I’m glad he’s in prison getting a taste of what it’s like.’
Jerry stood up and wrapped his arms around Indi. ‘Let’s go. I made a mistake in coming here. She just wanted to hurt you, not patch things up. Revenge is all she’s interested in.’
Indi stood, taking Jerry’s hand in hers, and let him lead her out of that haunted room and into the foyer.
‘She did it all to hurt you Indi,’ Jerry breathed once they were both strapped into the Porsche. ‘She hurt me to get to you. What kind of woman would do that?’
‘I don’t know Jer. She’s a cancer in our lives that we never should have touched again.’
‘I’m sorry that I made you come.’
‘You didn’t make me do anything. I came because I wanted to come.’
‘I shouldn’t have come.’ He glanced in the rear view mirror as he drove the Porsche across the gravel drive. ‘I dream about that room. I dream about it nearly every night. Did you know that?’ She shook her head. ‘Every night I hear you scream and I see all the blood on the rug. Except in my dreams, you don’t survive. You die and that kills me. It kills me.’
She reached a hand over to his hand on the steering wheel, tracing her fingertips down the inside of his forearm. The scars felt smooth, but slightly raised to her. ‘I’m here because of you.’ She stroked the uneven skin and looked into his bottomless blue eyes.
They drove the rest of the way back to Hell with nothing but the silence of unspoken feelings of gratitude that they had both made it out of that house alive. Indi stared out the window, watching the blackened night zip past the Porsche. Just as they were leaving the tree-lined highway, she could have sworn that she saw a pair of glowing eyes staring out at her. She dismissed it, thinking it could have been any number of wild animals found in those woods.
His mother’s words were floating around her head. She knew about that hundred grand, she’d always known and surely that would have indicated guilt on her husband’s behalf. You don’t just give someone hush money for shits and giggles. ‘Jer?’ Indi asked.
‘Yeah?’
‘Is money really tight right now for you?’
‘Why would you think that?’
‘Just something Rhett told me earlier. So are you?’
He was silent for a long time, warring with his pride. ‘I’ve been struggling these last few months, yeah,’ he replied in a tired voice.
‘Why didn’t you tell me? That hundred thousand is still in your bank account. Why didn’t you use it?’
‘That money is yours, Indi. I couldn’t use it.’
‘I don’t want it. I thought I made that pretty clear. Take it, okay. It’s yours.’
He took her hand and squeezed it. ‘You have a good heart you know Indi.’
She made a sound halfway between a snort and a laugh. ‘Whatever.’
Jerry pulled up in front of her apartment building and switched off the engine half an hour later. ‘Thanks.’
‘What for?’ she asked.
‘For coming with me … for …’ Jerry hesitated.
Indi knew what he wanted to say, but she didn’t need to hear it. ‘I know Jer. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Leaning over the centre console, she kissed him on the cheek and popped open the door. She waved him off from the opposite side of her apartment doors before climbing up the stairs to her apartment. Exhaustion had been creeping up on her slowly ever since she’d arrived at the Beckitt’s, but it was only now that she felt like she wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep for a wee
k.
Chapter 28
Even though sleep was calling to Indi, something deep within her told her not to sleep, told her to get out of her apartment, to walk. It was almost as if she was tapped into some radio frequency that told her where to go. She tried to ignore it, but as soon as she closed her eyes violent images flashed behind her eyelids and only one word came to mind: Beth.
Throwing her coat on quickly, she checked her knife was where it was supposed to be and left her apartment. Running north along Main Street, Indi passed by all the homeless people huddling over fires in garbage cans and the whores skulking in the entrance ways of doorways while their pimps sold them to anyone willing to drop a couple of bucks their way.
Taking a sharp left, Indi ran up Fifth Street until she came to the T-Junction where Second Avenue took you in two directions out of town. If she went south, she’d be heading towards Jerry’s place at Waterside. If she went north, she’d be heading to Beth’s place in Ashgrove. The images flashed behind her eyelids again and she went north.
When she rounded the corner, she looked up the entire length of the street and saw Beth’s father’s Mercedes parked up against the curb about a hundred feet or so away. The hazard lights were on, but she couldn’t see any movement from the front seat. Taking off at a jog, she ran towards the car, stopping abruptly when she heard a blood-curdling scream ring out through the night. Goosebumps rose on her arms at the sound of it and she sprinted in the direction of the noise.
Pausing for a heartbeat each time, Indi looked down every one of the dark alleyways on her way to the car. When she was sure there was nothing there, she moved on. A blast of frigid air assaulted her as she ran, almost as if it was trying to hold her back. But with that wind, came a smell so intoxicating that Indi’s jaw began to ache. It lured her further and further up the street until she stopped hastily at the mouth of an alleyway and peered into the darkness.
Through the dark shadows, she saw Beth. She was pinned up against a wall; the hand of the man was on the back of her neck. Her clothes had been torn from the lower half of her body. Her skin was turning blue. Indi could see the man’s fingers digging into her skin as he forced her into submission. Beth was crying silently, only letting a noise escape when he jerked too hard against her. Seeing her best friend like that was too much for Indi. Beth’s virginity was being stolen from her and the memories of Indi’s own disgrace flooded back on an unstoppable wave of pain. The dark waters swirled around her, rising too quickly until they covered her head, swamping her completely …
When Indi’s foster brother was finished with her, he pushed her off the bed and to the ground. Her body was screaming at her; the pain so intense that Indi was sure that her insides had been torn up. She felt as if she would never be whole again. Those boys had taken a small piece of her, each of them were walking away with a little piece of Indi. Tom took her pride from her, another took her strength, her independence, her empathy, her affection and warmth for people. But her foster brother got the biggest slice of the pie. He had scored the ultimate prize. He took her innocence and her trust in all men away. It was a double blow that left Indi aching from the loss of so much.
Tom asked, ‘What if she talks?’ He was standing over her, looking at the ruin between her legs even though she tried to cover her body with small hands. There was blood running down the inside of her thighs that she wiped up quickly.
‘She won’t talk,’ Evan said wiping himself off with what remained of her skirt. He threw it into the corner before saying, ‘Besides, we’re going to put her in the shower to wash away the evidence, so even if she does say something, she won’t be able to prove it. Who’s going to believe some foster kid runaway who is notorious for opening her legs?’ Her eyes widened. Her foster brother looked down at her with steely eyes. ‘Thought I didn’t know? My parents got your file. It was all in there. All the husbands you seduced. All those ruined lives.’
‘That’s not true. They touched me. I did nothing to deserve it.’
He laughed at her then. It was loud and terrifying to hear. Indi wanted to throw her hands over her ears and hum to keep the sound from imprinting on her memory. ‘My parents thought they could fix you. They thought you had some strange idea of misplaced affection. They have shrink visits set up for you. And I can tell you right now, those shrinks are going to think you’re an attention-seeking little whore.’
‘No. That’s not true!’ she screamed.
‘Whatever Indi. Get up so we can throw you in the shower.’
As she stared up into her foster brother’s eyes, something strange happened to her. Something … snapped. When Indi blinked, she only saw red. It felt as if there was something inside her that wanted to get out, something dangerous. Fuelled by a cold fire, she stood up with her small fists clenched; her slight frame shaking with anger.
‘Fuck. What’s happening to her?’ one of the boys asked, taking a step back towards the door.
‘I don’t know. She’s fucking lost it.’
‘I’m outtie,’ another boy called.
‘Me too,’ another voice added.
The other boys shuffled out of the room, walking away with their pieces of her, only making her angrier. The stirring within her suddenly took form. It was a huge cat––its fur as black as her anger, its teeth as sharp as her bubbling rage. Its huge mouth opened and blue flames tumbled from its jaws.
Evan seemed to shiver. ‘Tom, you have to help me get her into the shower,’ he eventually said.
Tom was standing, dumbstruck, his breath heaving in and out of his lungs. The cat liked how that one smelt—like fear.
‘Tom!’
‘Yeah? … Fuck … sorry man. I just got really cold. Are you cold?’
‘Yeah, the window is open. Just grab her legs will ya?’
As they closed in around her, Indi’s eyes darted around the room, looking for something to defend herself with. Tom swept his feet under hers, her body slamming into the carpet; her face pressed into the pile. She was looking under the bed when she saw her salvation. It was three and a half inches of steel. Indi lunged for it, her fingertips dragging across the handle until it was in her palm.
‘Fuck Tom. Take it easy.’ Evan said. His hand hooked up under her armpit, hauling her up off the ground. They hadn’t seen the knife yet. Indi’s arm swung out towards Evan’s arm. The sharp blade sliced through his skin, the blood that came out from his body rolled her stomach, but the beast inside focused her, made her concentrate on the other threat. It wanted more blood. Every single inch of her body cooled until she was numb to everything else.
‘What the fuck?!’ Tom yelled, watching his mate land heavily on the carpet behind her. Indi stalked towards her quarry, palming the knife like it was just an extension of her body.
With his big hands up, Tom pleaded with her. ‘Please.’ His wide eyes looked behind her, to the floor. Evan was bleeding profusely, holding the crook of his arm with a hand.
‘Fuck Indi! You cut me deep. I can’t move my fingers,’ Evan moaned.
Indi turned to look at him slowly, and as her lethal stare bored into his skull, he began shuffling backwards. Her deadly gaze swung back to Tom.
‘Tom, look at me.’
He shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head slowly. His hair was rubbing against the wall. Indi settled the blade against his skin, scraping it lovingly over his face. His beard was coming in again, the scraping sound making a nice soundtrack to what was happening in the room. When Tom’s eyes finally opened, fear was overflowing them.
‘Tell me how much you enjoyed raping a thirteen year old girl, Tom. Tell me what a big man you are for doing that.’ His lips clamped together and his eyes shut tight. Indi raised her hand, positioning the tip of the blade on his temple and drew it down to the corner of his mouth. Blood seeped slowly from the fissure, rolling down Tom’s skin like tears.
She would never forget those screams. They were screams for mercy, but she never got any mercy from them, so why should she
be so forthcoming? She’d found out afterwards that her brother’s dreams of getting a football scholarship were over. She’d severed the tendons on his arm, and he never got full use of his hand back. Tom was another story. They stitched his face back up, but the scar would always be a reminder of what he had done.
Indi felt the beast of her anger waken with the smell of fresh blood. It stretched out inside her and let out a terrifying growl, baring its teeth. Indi’s blood was boiling under her skin. There was a snap somewhere in her brain, like her anger just loaded a gun and chambered a round with the bastard’s name on it. Beth belonged to her like Jerry belonged to her. It was her duty to kill him for taking away Beth’s innocence.
With the memory of her own ruin still like a freshly weeping wound in her mind, she took a determined step towards them. ‘Hey, asshole!’ she called. The man turned to look at her very slowly; his blue and gold eyes fixing on hers as her world started trembling around her.
‘James?’ she breathed, taking an unsteady step back.
His lips curled back from his teeth in an imitation of a smile, but he didn’t release Beth.
‘Let her go James,’ she demanded, taking back her step. She glanced at Beth. Her fear was written on her face, and when Indi listened hard, she could hear the beat of Beth’s fluttering heart.
‘My name’s not James,’ he replied, pulling himself free from Beth. He shoved her aside like a piece of garbage in the direction of the row of dumpsters against the wall. Beth’s head hit the corner of one of them; her eyes fluttering shut as she lost consciousness. He pulled up his pants, redoing his Pierre Cardin belt and looked at her from under his lashes with a predatory edge.
‘So, you’re the bitch James likes,’ he drawled in a voice much deeper than she was accustomed to.
