by Anne Key
He was still holding her hand. Still.
It took all she had not to twirl around.
“Uh-huh.”
Erik pulled Mari over. “Awesome dance.”
Eli grinned at her. “Totally.”
“You two… headed home?” Mari asked, squinting at Sammy.
“My daddy’s picking us up. What are y’all doing?” Sammy had to be honest, at least with herself. She didn’t want to share Eli with Erik and Mari any more tonight.
“I don’t know.” Mari looked at Erik.
“Pizza.”
Mari laughed. “Guess we’re going for pizza. Gotta feed the beast.”
“Have fun.” Eli gave Sammy’s hand a tug. “We better go. Your dad’ll be waiting.”
“Yeah. Bye, y’all. Call me, Mar.”
“Tomorrow. Will do.”
She saw Daddy and Jian waiting, and she waved. “There they are. Aren’t they cute?”
Eli nodded. “So cute. Hi, Mr. Moore. Hey, Jian!”
Jian got out of the car. “Hello, Eli. Hey, Sammy. You guys have fun?”
“So much fun. The music was great. And Sammy is a really good dancer.”
Jian opened the back door for them. “Hop on in.”
She wanted to tell Daddy all about her night, but she wasn’t ready to tell him anything at all yet. God, Eli was still holding her hand. Still.
“You two still want coffee?” Daddy asked, and she nodded.
“Yes, sir. Please.” She was feeling the need for warmth and caffeine. The sweat from dancing all night was drying on her skin and making her chilled and… oh God. What if she smelled bad now? It wasn’t like you could sneak a pit sniff while your guy was next to you in the car and holding your hand.
“Oh, thank goodness. I am dying for a mocha with coconut milk.”
Her daddy looked at Jian. “Really?”
“With a dash of nutmeg on top? Oh my God in Heaven.”
“Better make it a decaf.”
Jian snorted. “What fun are you?”
Eli giggled and shook his head at Sammy.
“You could get an extra shot, Jian….” She winked at Eli, and they both started laughing.
“See? I like her.”
Daddy parked the car and then turned and looked at Jian. “I am leaving you in New York from now on.”
Everybody was laughing as they got out of the car.
Eli held open the door and they followed Sammy inside. “What are you getting?”
“I think the cinnamon dolce one today. I danced off all the calories.” She spun around again. “What about you?”
“Hm. Vanilla latte, I think.”
“This one is on me, guys,” Daddy said from behind them. “Get whatever you want. I still recommend decaf.”
“Booooring,” Jian sang.
“Thanks, Mr. Moore.” Eli rested a hand on Sammy’s hip and leaned close to her ear. “They’re not gonna sit with us, right?”
“Not if they know what’s good for them.” She and Daddy had already talked about it, so she felt safe being all brave.
Eli laughed. “Cool. Do you think I was rude to Mari and Erik? I just… wanted to hang out with you, you know?”
After they all placed their order, and Daddy paid, Jian and Daddy went and found a table way off in one corner while Sammy and Eli went the other way.
“You weren’t. I just wanted to finish the night with you too.” She wanted to tuck her legs under her, the air a little chilly now. Maybe tights weren’t such a bad idea. “Besides, I think they wanted to be alone too.”
“Probably. I’m pretty sure Erik knew I wasn’t going to go for pizza.” Eli set his coffee down and pulled out a chair for her. “I love it here at night. It’s pretty cool. Good music, and it’s louder than during the day, too, right? Lots of people.”
“Thanks. It’s pretty neat, but I like our regular barista.”
“She’s nice, I guess. You know me and music, though. I’m kind of loving this.” Eli slid a hand into the middle of the table, palm up, and smiled at her. “Will it freak your dad out?”
“If it does, he’ll cope. He seems pretty reasonable. He likes talking to me, I think. I don’t know. He’s totally different from my momma, like completely.”
“Your mom was mean?”
“No! No, just particular. Everything needed to be just so.” Sammy felt weird saying anything mean about Momma. She’d been amazing and all. It was just hard to be as perfect as she’d been.
“My dad is like that sometimes. He’s a lawyer, like your mom was. Maybe it’s the job.” Eli hooked one of his fingers at her. “Gimme.”
She shivered, her body feeling like she’d just finished a tumbling run and won a championship. She slid her hand in Eli’s like it fit right there.
“That’s better.” Eli closed his fingers around hers and sipped his coffee. “So….” Eli watched her, smiling. “Oh, right! Did you try that acro class yet?”
“Monday. If I get in, the senior-level class will be Monday and Wednesday after school, and then Saturday mornings.”
“Pff. If you get in. Of course you’re going to get in.”
“I hope so. I like competing. I like dancing.” She met his pretty blue eyes, and her cheeks went hot. “I loved dancing with you.”
That grin Eli had on his face after they kissed came back, and his ears turned pink. “Thanks.” He ducked his head in a kind of cute, shy way. “I… really loved dancing with you, Sammy. And… the rest of it too.”
“Me too. Like for real. It was the best first kiss ever.” Sammy took a deep drink of her coffee, letting the warmth and the sweet fill her up. “I hope we’ll have lots more.”
Eli put down his coffee. “My only first kiss ever. How many have you had?”
Oh God. Oh God. He was going to think she was a slut. Still, she wasn’t. She had nothing to be ashamed of. “I had a boyfriend in Texas. His name was Dylan. I thought he was a good guy, and I was, like, totally wrong. He was my first kiss.”
And if Eli thought she was nasty for it, he could go away.
“Sorry he wasn’t good to you.” Eli shrugged. “I think if he was a jerk, then it didn’t count.” He winked at her.
“Yeah? He was a bastard. He wasn’t a good guy. You? I think you’ve got my back.”
“I do.” Eli looked right at her, and he seemed so serious all of a sudden. “I do. No matter what. Okay?”
“Same here,” she promised, squeezing his hand. “No matter what, Eli.”
“Okay, cool.” Eli shifted in his chair. “So, good. That other first kiss totally didn’t count.” He picked up her hand and kissed it.
“You….” God, so sweet. “What do y’all do for Halloween here?” Do you want to go out again?
“Oh, Halloween is my favorite! I don’t know what they do here, but it seems like a good neighborhood to walk around in. At my old school, they’d show some scary movie, and then usually someone had a party. Maybe Mari and Erik know. Do you usually dress up?” Wow. Eli really did like Halloween.
“I was a cat last year, and a bag of jellybeans the year before. I’m into dressing up. I hope someone has a party.” She wasn’t ready to host one herself, but maybe next year. Maybe.
“Have you thought about what you want to be this year? It’s just a couple of weeks away. I was thinking about maybe, like, a steampunk thing with a cool top hat and jacket or a vest. Maybe some boots and some aviator goggles?”
“I could riff off that, if you want. I haven’t really worked on an idea.” Steampunk cheerleader would be hilarious—corset and leather skirt, pom-poms made out of springs….
“That would be awesome. We could work on them together.”
A shadow fell over the table. “Hey, Sammy, I know you two are having a good time, but I need to get Eli home. I’ll give you guys five.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” She smiled up, but all she could see was Eli. “I think that sounds perfect. The costumes. We’ll have to put our heads together.”
“I can’t believe it’s time already. I could stay up all night. This was so perfect, Sammy.” Eli sighed. “Thank you so much.”
“Thank you. We get to have more nights, though. This was just a great one.” This wasn’t Cinderella. She wasn’t going to turn into a pumpkin or a mouse or anything at midnight.
Eli nodded. “I hope so.” He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up.
She grabbed her coffee with one hand, his hand with the other, loving that she could do it, that it was okay. “Thank you again, Eli. Seriously. Tonight was like magic.”
“Okay, you two.”
She felt Eli squeeze her hand, but he didn’t say anything.
“You guys must be tired after all that dancing.” Jian opened the back door of Daddy’s car for them. “Eli, you’re looking pretty beat.”
Eli shrugged. “I’m good.” He stepped aside to let Sammy in first.
“It was great. Totally fun.” She slipped into the back seat, the seats surprisingly cold on her legs.
Eli climbed in and slid very close as Jian closed the door.
“Home, Jeeves!” Jian called out as Daddy started to drive.
“That wasn’t a decaf, was it?”
“Nope!”
While they were distracted, Eli snuck Sammy a quick kiss on the cheek. The whole world was sparkling, spinning, and she thought, she thought maybe she loved him.
Oh God. She was going to pass out.
“Okay, Eli, this is your stop.” Daddy parked and got out of the car. “I’ll walk you up.” The front lights were on and one in the living room, but the rest of the house was dark.
“Thanks, Mr. Moore.” Eli turned in the seat. “Good night, Sammy. Talk tomorrow?”
“You know it. We’ll plan Halloween.” She kissed his cheek, let it linger just a little bit. “Night.”
He slid out of the car with that silly grin on his face again and followed her daddy up the walk. Mr. Green answered the door, and they all talked for a minute.
“Don’t think I didn’t see that little peck, Miss Sammy,” Jian teased gently. “He’s a cutie.”
“He’s amazing. It was amazing.” She wasn’t sure if she was going to cry or laugh or just sit back and try to remember how to breathe.
“Good for you, girl.”
Daddy climbed back in the car, and Eli gave a wave from his front door and went inside.
“Nice kid. Polite, respectful. Seems like you had a good time, sweetheart?”
“Uh-huh.” Oh God. She was going to cry. That would totally suck because Daddy wasn’t going to understand that it wasn’t bad crying.
Jian cleared his throat. “So, baby, I know Sammy’s tired, but are you and I going to watch a movie or something? I’m definitely up for a while.” Jian turned his head and winked at her.
Daddy laughed. “Sure. But don’t get your panties in a wad when I fall asleep in your lap.”
“Aw, how cute would that be? Maybe I’ll make popcorn.”
They pulled into the driveway, and she slid out of the car as soon as they were parked. “Thank you for picking me up, Daddy.”
“Are you okay, kiddo?” he asked as they got to the door.
“Uh-huh. I just need….” The tears were going to come, so she hugged him tight. “Love you, Daddy.”
“Oh, hey.” Daddy pulled her inside out of the cold and put his arms around her. “I love you too, Sammy.”
“Good. Good. I’m going to go upstairs and take a shower. If you’re still up, maybe after, we could talk or something?”
Maybe she’d have figured out all the feelings running through her heart. Hell, she’d be okay with figuring out a couple of them so she could focus on the happiness.
“I’d love to talk. I’ll be up.” He let her go. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”
“I’m fine. It was amazing. Eli is amazing. For reals, Daddy. I just…. He’s special. It was like magic.”
Daddy smiled at her. “He’s…. Well. I’m glad tonight was everything you wanted it to be. Not everyone gets magic.”
“I know. I need a shower and to put on my fuzzy pants. Love you, Daddy!” She waved and headed upstairs. Before she got undressed, she took a selfie and sent it to Lacey.
Best. Night. Ever.
SAMMY’S DAD backed his car out of the driveway, and Eli watched the taillights head up the block until the car disappeared around the corner.
“Shut the door, Eli, it’s chilly.”
“Sorry, Mom.” Eli shut it slowly and listened to the lock click into place. He hadn’t ever noticed the little snick sound it made before. That was pretty cool.
He headed into the kitchen to get something to eat, playing with the click and thud of his dress shoes on the hardwood floor, and he smiled at the whoosh sound the refrigerator door made when he opened and closed it.
Everything just seemed… different.
“Eli?”
“Huh?” Eli poured himself a glass of Coke and put the cap back on the bottle.
“I said, how was your night?”
“Oh. Good.”
“Yeah? Did you dance?”
“Uh-huh.” Oh, please don’t talk to me. Not yet. Eli just wasn’t sure how to put anything about… well, anything into words. And definitely not Mom-words. He just wanted to close his eyes and pretend he was dancing again. Remember that amazing kiss. He put away the Coke.
“And…? Did Sammy have a good time?”
“Oh. Yeah. I think so. Are there, like, pretzels up there or something?”
His mom opened the snack cabinet and handed him the bag.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She stared at him. “Come on, kid. Give me something. I’ve been thinking about you all night.”
Eli sighed and looked at her. “Sammy was really pretty. And we got our picture taken. And the music was awesome. I’m pretty beat. See you in the morning, okay?” He knew that by itself wasn’t going to be enough, so he smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek. “Night, Mom. Thanks for waiting up.”
Now he just needed to escape to his room and close the door.
“Night, Eli. I’m glad you had fun. Really.”
“Yes. Fun. Night!” Eli rushed down the hall and into his room, where he set down his snack and flopped onto his bed. He touched his cheek where Sammy had kissed him.
“Wow.” He closed his eyes, and he could see Sammy—her glittery eye makeup, her hair, her smile. The whole night had been like a movie, or a dream. He was having a hard time believing any of it was real. He’d had no idea it would be—or even could be—that perfect.
He’d kissed her. And even cooler than that, she’d kissed him back. He licked his lips but couldn’t taste her lip gloss anymore, just the coffee he’d had after the dance.
There was a knock at his door.
“Eli? Hey, uh, son. Can I come in?”
Eli groaned. “I’m pretty tired, Dad.”
“Well, it’s just that…. Hey, I’m opening the door, okay?”
“Whatever.”
His dad came in, closing the door behind him. “Your mom sent me.”
Eli sat up with a sigh.
“Maybe you’d like to talk to me about it?”
“I don’t… I mean, I’m just… I don’t know.”
“That good?”
He looked up into his dad’s eyes, and his father was smiling like he understood, like he got it.
“She’s amazing, Dad. She dances like she doesn’t care what anybody thinks. And she’s just… the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Eli sighed. “And she smells so good.”
“Yeah? I’m glad. There’s nothing like dancing with the right girl.”
Eli nodded. “Yeah, she is the right girl, for sure.”
“I’m glad. Have you thought about whether you’re going to tell her?” Dad winced. “Is that too nosy?”
“Oh.” Eli nodded. He had no choice. “I want to, Dad. I have to tell her.” Dad was goi
ng to have kittens, but he had to talk to somebody. He seriously had no idea what he was supposed to do now. “I kissed her. I know we talked about waiting until after, but… and I didn’t mean to, it just kind of… she was just right there.”
“Sometimes it happens that way. The first real girlfriend I had, I never thought I’d have the guts, and then, all of a sudden, I did.”
Eli sighed. “Yeah? Okay.” Okay, that was cool. But. “Is she going to be mad at me?”
“I don’t know. Have you two talked about her position on anything like this? I mean, her father is gay, so she has to be accepting, right?” Dad was trying so hard.
The more Eli thought about it, the more nervous he started to feel. “She was cool about her dad, I guess. I mean she is now, yeah. At first, she was scared for him but, you know.” But her dad wasn’t—Sammy’s dad was just gay. Her dad wasn’t binding his chest and pinning socks in his briefs. Or… probably not anyway. “It’s different. And it’s… me.”
“If she is mad, then she’s not the girl you thought she was.”
Eli shrugged. “She’s definitely the girl I think she is.” He didn’t know why exactly, but he was confident about that. “I’m just not who she thinks I am.” For sure.
And that was funny coming from Dad, considering Eli had been presenting as a boy for almost two years, and Dad only just started calling him “son,” like, last week. Eli kind of thought Sammy had a right to be mad, or upset, confused, whatever. He really hoped she’d get it eventually, though. She would, he thought, if he could just keep her talking about it. Like Doc said, Eli had been a boy for a long time in his own mind, but some people needed time to adjust.
“I better talk to her soon.”
“I think so, yes. She deserves your honesty, if you care for her.”
Well, duh. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks a lot, Dad. This is just… hard. But, Dad, tonight was so amazing.”
“I’m glad. Seriously. I know this is difficult, but I’m proud of you for… doing this. Being true to yourself.”
Wait. What? “Dad—” Eli looked up, his heart beating fast. “Really? Thank you!” He threw his arms around his dad and hugged him. “I love you.”
Dad patted his back. “I love you too. You’ve got this. I know you do.”
