Hope blossomed in his chest and took his breath away. He almost missed his cue to come in on the refrain. He sang his part and then stepped back so he could simply watch her. Michelle took control of the mic and totally rocked out all by herself. He loved seeing her like this, confident, strong and sensual. When she sang in a casual setting with no stiff choreography she killed it. She owned the stage, she owned the audience, and she totally owned Shay.
Smiling, Shay jumped back in on the last verse. Michelle and Shay never broke eye contact, their mouths only inches apart, sharing microphone.
He could do this forever, he realized with a start. It would never get old.
He just needed to be patient and give Michelle time to come to that conclusion, too.
*****
Daddy was waiting when Shay and I came off stage, still holding hands. “I need to speak with you, he said, casting a look at Shay. “Alone.”
“Looks like the margarita bar needs some business,” Shay said. He leaned in and kissed me on the lips, just to piss Daddy off, I was sure. “Catch up with you in a few, Baby.”
I watched Shay walk away, unable to hold my smile in.
“This will only take a minute,” Daddy said, and ushered me into a back hallway. The noise died down a little and I could see Daddy was excited.
“Congratulations, baby girl.” he said. “The label chose you.”
He pulled out a sheaf of papers and handed them to me. “They want you to stay on the label. They love what you’ve done, they love how you’re remixing your classics and they want more of it. Robert told me a couple days ago, but I wanted to wait and surprise you with the contract.”
“Oh.” The bottom dropped out of my stomach. I t was what I’d wanted. Or thought I did. I ignored the part about Daddy having known for days that this was coming. I could only process so much at one time. “What about Shay?” I asked meeting Daddy’s eyes.
Daddy shook his head. “Robert wants you. I’m not sure he was ever entertaining the thought of keeping Shay at all, after all the embarrassment he brought to the label. And I’m not sure I can blame him. Who knows what kind of trouble that boy will get into next. Robert wants to cut his losses on Shay and put his money on a new artist he’s had his eye on.” He cocked his head, seeing more in my expression than I was comfortable with. “I’m sure Shay will land on his feet.”
We both knew that was a lie.
“I’m not signing.”
Daddy frowned down at me and I felt like I was 11 years old again. “I know you like the boy, but this is business, Michelle. Robert wants to keep control of your whole catalog, past, present and future. That’s worth a lot more than a couple of Shay’s hits that nobody will remember in six months or a year.” His gaze softened. “You had to know this was coming.”
He was right. Somewhere deep down, I knew what the outcome would be. I knew Robert and I knew that sending me out on tour with Shay was a play to get my name back in front of the public, using Shay’s bad-boy antics to put us on the front page. Maybe Robert had even planned, from the very beginning, to make us a fake couple to give the thing even more mileage. He’d gambled with my career and won.
But what no one, including me, had anticipated was just how successful the fake romance would be or how it had morphed into something real. I was furious at being manipulated.
“I’m not signing,” I said again. “You can tell Robert I’m done with him and his games.”
Daddy touched my shoulder. “I warned you not to get attached to Shay. I could see that you had feelings for him and I was afraid this would happen — -- that you’d let personal issues get in the way of good business decisions.”
“I can’t work for someone who manipulates and uses people like that.”
“Don’t be so naïve, Michelle. They all use people — all the labels — and it goes both ways. This business isn’t some charity thing where everyone acts out of the goodness of their hearts. It’s business. People are in it to make money. You’re the product, the label needs you. And you need them, too. Without Robert and Belle Records records, you wouldn’t have a career at all.”
He gripped my shoulders and lowered his voice. “I’ve tried to shelter you all these years from the ugliness of the business side of things. I’m sorry this is hurting you, but maybe it’s best you see how it truly is. You need to make decisions from a logical perspective, not and emotional one. You can’t throw away everything you’ve worked for and everything you’ve given up to get to this point over a man who will break your heart next week when he shows up in some tabloid with a groupie. You have to do what’s best for your career, whether Shay is in the picture or not.”
I bit my lip, unsure what to do. Daddy had a point. And whether I signed or not, Shay was going to lose his contract. I thought of all the people who worked for me. All the people who would lose their jobs if I didn’t sign any more contracts and just retired all of a sudden. I thought of their families and how Christmas was right around the corner. Sure, people who were in the business knew things changed rapidly, but my team had been solid for a lot of years. People relied on me and even if I didn’t know all their names like Shay did, it didn’t mean I cared any less. They worked hard for me and deserved my loyalty.
I’d have to sign. And then hope Shay understood when I told him.
“Fine,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Good,” Daddy said. That’s what I wanted to hear. You’re doing the right thing, Michelle.”
It sure didn’t feel right. I signed the papers quickly and handed them back to Daddy, a queasy feeling forming in my stomach.
“How about we invite Shay to be on a couple of the tracks on the new album? Maybe that will get him through until he lands a deal somewhere else.”
“Sure, that would be great.” My voice sounded flat to my own ears.
“Come on, Robert wants to congratulate you and if you have a minute, to talk to you about the album. He’s got a new producer he wants you to work with on this one.”
“You invited Robert?” He was not the person I wanted to see right at the moment.
“He wanted to drop off the papers and celebrate the tour’s success with you,” Daddy said. “He came in while you were on stage.”
We re- entered the atrium and sure enough, Robert was standing with Rayna and a couple of other people from the label talking and drinking my tequila by the bar. I frowned at him, disliking the idea of working for him more than ever.
“Michelle!” Robert said with a wide smile on his face as Daddy and I approached the group. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re going to be staying with Belle Records.”
“Thanks,” I said, pasting a fake smile on my face.
“This tour worked out just as I hoped. You’re on everyone’s radar again and country radio has your duet in heavy rotation. This next album is going to be great—it’ll put you right back on top where a country queen like you belongs.” He raised his glass to me and I wanted to roll my eyes and ask him if his lips ever got tired from kissing so much ass.
Instead I snagged a beer off the tray of a passing “senorita”. “Great. Can’t wait to get started.”
“Get started what?” Shay asked in my ear as he slid an arm around my waist from behind.
*****
Shay knew something was up as soon as Michelle and her father had gone into the hallway. When Robert and his cronies from the label hit the bar and acted like they owned the place, Shay was sure that whatever was going down was not going to be good news for him. Robert had always been a cocky SOB but he looked even more smug than usual, as if the success of the tour had been all his doing and Shay and Michelle hadn’t worked their butts off to make it happen.
The way Michelle had paled when Shay joined their little party as Robert was talking about her next album told Shay all he needed to know. Michelle had gotten the contract and Shay was out. The hell of it was he’d found out this way instead of from Michelle. All the
warm feelings that had given him a sense of peace he hadn’t had for a very long time—maybe ever—evaporated.
“Hey, Shay,” Robert said. “Great show up there. You do know how to rock the house. I’ll give you that.” He leaned in. “I hope there’s no hard feelings.”
Shay decided to play dumb. He wanted Robert to say the words and he wanted to see Michelle’s reaction to them. He concentrated on making his voice seem casual. “About what?”
“About Michelle’s new contract.” He looked from Michelle to Shay and back again. “She didn’t tell you?”
“No. I guess she forgot,” Shay said, his jaw hard.
“Shay, I — -- ”
“You’re a great live act,” Robert said. “I’m sure someone else will sign you.”
“I’m sure.” Shay concentrated on unclenching his fist. He ached to plant it right in Robert’s smug face. “You got a minute Michelle, or are you too busy planning your next move?”
His jaw was tight and the air felt stiflingly hot, all of a sudden.
“Uh, sure.”
Shay led Michelle out the doors of the atrium into the chilly night. The glow from the party lit the lawn around the building, but Shay pulled her deeper into the darkness behind some trees where they’d have a little privacy. He’d already been the butt of the joke and didn’t need anyone else witnessing what was about to go down.
“Were you going to tell me?” Shay struggled to keep his voice in check.
“I just found out myself.” Her voice trembled a little.
“Really”? Because it seems like old news to me. Like I was the last one to know. Like I was the only one not in on the joke or something.”
She shook her head. “It’s not like that.”
“Bullshit.”
Michelle’s face scrunched up and her eyes narrowed on him. “I wouldn’t play you — -- you know me better than that.”
“I thought I did.” He crossed his arms across his empty chest. She’d known about this, he was sure. Or at least her father had. Those two were always on the inside and Shay, as usual, was outside of the circle all by himself, just trying to stay afloat.
“Shay, if you’re upset about losing the contract, we have an idea for the album — -- ”
“We said we were going to be honest with each other. No matter what happened with the label.” Shay looked heavenward and took a deep breath in. Even the cold air wasn’t helping cool his temper that much. “And now I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched.”
“I am being honest with you. I just signed the contract five minutes ago.”
“But how long have you known about it? I mean, was this the plan all along? To string me along on this tour with a carrot I was never going to reach?”
She was silent for a moment and Shay was sure he could hear his own heart beat in the cold silence that hung between them.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I wouldn’t put it past Robert. But if it was, I swear I didn’t know about it.”
His heart stuttered. “I wish I believed you.”
“You think I would lie to you? After all we’ve been through the past few weeks, after all we shared?” Her voice trembled and some part of him really wanted to wrap her in his arms and let everything else go. But the fact was, he’d trusted her and now he wasn’t certain whether she was being straight with him or not. He wanted to believe she was, but this business was cut-throat when it came to dollars and cents. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been misled or steered wrong.
Besides, someone like her with someone like him? Maybe the fairytale was just a little too good to be true. The princess never married the pauper and love was never blind, no matter w t hat the storybooks said. It made more sense to believe the whole thing had been a clever PR move and nothing more. Safer, too. Better to put an end to things and walk away with a scrap of pride left than to hang around like a whipped dog begging for Michelle’s scraps.
His voice was cold steel. “I think you would do a lot to make sure you came out on top. Including me.”
She drew back as if Shay had slapped her. She stared at him for a moment and he hoped to God she wasn’t going to start the waterworks right here. He was pretty sure he was the one who’d turn into a puddle at her feet.
“Well,” she said, drawing herself up and tilting her chin into the air. He could almost see the wall that came down over her carefully schooled features. “That’s good to know.”
She started to walk back to the building, but turned to look at him over her shoulder one last time. The moonlight played in her golden strands and made her face a pale, perfect moon so beautiful that Shay knew he would never get the image out of his head as long as he lived.
“Thanks for going out on the road with us. We’ll make sure you get your half of the tour profits.”
She turned and walked back to the warmth of the party and out of his life for good.
Chapter Fifteen
I had never been so miserable in my life. The only thing that had come close was when my parents had told me they were divorcing and I was sure it was my fault. If Daddy hadn’t been spending so much time with me on the road, well, maybe thing s between him and Mom would have been different. When I’d voiced those fears, they hadn’t argued and I felt much as I did now—the cause of a big fat ball of pain bringing misery to the people I cared about most.
For the past three weeks since I’d been home, I pounced on the phone whenever it buzzed, hoping it was Shay ’s . Every time it wasn’t, another little piece of me died. I missed him. But what good would it do? He thought I’d been using him to get a leg up on my career, that I’d slept with him to get back to the top, that I’d told him my deepest darkest secrets to sell a few records. If he really thought that, then maybe what we had wasn’t as meaningful as I thought it had been. Of course, I hadn’t been able to tell him what he meant to me, either, and I doubt he’d believe me now, when he thought the worst of me. It was too late.
I had been reluctant to leave the comfort of my house and my ranch when Robert had first wanted to send me out on tour and now I wanted to be anywhere but. My professionally decorated rooms didn’t seem warm and homey anymore. They just seemed empty and way too quiet. There wasn’t anyone to hang out with, no one to argue with or eat with or just talk to about the day. Even taking care of my horses and having a long daily ride, something that always made me feel better when I was down, didn’t do anything to banish the feeling that I’d somehow screwed up royally with Shay and Daddy and my career.
My other solace, music, wasn’t helping my dark mood, either. Every time I picked up my guitar, all I could think about was Shay. Playing with Shay, fighting with Shay, making love with Shay. Every time I started to play a few chords from a song I’d done on tour, my throat closed up and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
Music is magic that way—you hear a song on the radio from your childhood and instantly you’re right back there, feeling the same emotions you felt when you heard that song years earlier. The nostalgia is what had kept my career limping along the past few years. People heard my music and it took them back to a time when they were younger, thinner and still had delusions that their lives would not turn out like their parents’ had. I had become country music’s answer to an Elvis impersonator and Belle Records was perfectly happy to keep me locked in that role as long as the money kept rolling in.
Robert and Daddy were waiting for me to get to work on the album but I couldn’t bear to think about going into the studio right now. So much for the old adage about the best country songs coming out of a broken heart.
My doorbell rang, jarring me out of my morose thoughts. Reynolds barked, running in wild circles around me as I made my way to the door, the racket bouncing off my empty walls. I looked out the peephole and sighed. I had been avoiding Daddy since we got home, answering just enough of his calls so that he knew I hadn’t been ax-murdered here in the house by myself.
It wasn’t fair for me
to blame him. I knew that. None of this mess had been his fault. He was just doing his job, looking out for my career. As for my love life, I had mucked that up all on my own.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said giving him weak smile.
He stepped inside and closed the door. “I haven’t heard from you for a few days, sweetie. And Toby said you’d missed your studio session yesterday. I was worried.”
Toby, my new producer hand-picked by the label, was not helping my state of mind. We’d had a couple meetings and most definitely did not see eye to eye.
“They want me to put out a nostalgia album, Daddy. Re-cuts of my old stuff. Toby won’t even listen to any new ideas.”
“Robert thinks that’s what your audience wants. The same you only new. Oh, and they’ve found someone to do those duets with you on the two tracks we talked about.”
Pain lanced my chest. “I can’t sing with anyone else.” Daddy had asked Shay to sing duets on a couple of the numbers we’d done on the road and he’d turned him down flat. Now Robert just wanted to plug some other guy into the equation as if we were all just interchangeable parts? It just didn’t work that way. It would be flat and lifeless without the energy that Shay and I shared on stage. I got that now. I understood what Shay had been waxing poetic about all the time we were on tour. It wasn’t about every note being sung perfectly. It was about the perfect passion driving every note.
Daddy sat stiffly on my white sofa, the lines of tension evident in the lines of his body. “I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself, Michelle. What was the point of all this if you won’t do the album we fought so hard to get an opportunity to make?”
“I don’t know.” I flopped down beside him, curling my leg beneath me. “I’m not sure I want to do this. I’m not sure I ever really did.”
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