by Hazel Kelly
“Or a housekeeper, if the rumors are true. My brother’s always going on about how annoyingly organized you are.”
“I wasn’t always like that.” I only cleaned up my act after my mom left and it became clear that my dad was too depressed to take up the housekeeping.
Being partial to Cup Noodles, I wasn’t worried about going hungry, but I didn’t want either of us wearing dirty clothes. I remember the first load of laundry I did. Everything came out red, and it felt like the perfect metaphor for the hell we were going through.
“Anyway,” I said, too detached from the past to wallow, “let me know if you need help apartment shopping or anything. Or if you find a place, I’ve got a friend who can look over the contract for you to make sure there’s nothing out of order.”
“You trying to earn more free drinks?” she asked.
“You know me too well.”
“Well, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think I’ll start looking for a place until I know if I’ve got the position. Wouldn’t want to jinx it.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.”
“And toes, please,” she said. “Every little helps.”
“Consider it done.”
For a moment, we just stayed on the phone, like two awkward teenagers who are out of things to say but aren’t ready to hang up yet.
I certainly wasn’t anyway. I knew once I did, her breath wouldn’t be in my ear, her voice just a provocation away.
“Landon? You still there?”
“Yeah,” I said, my chest loosening again when she spoke. “I’m still here.”
S E V E N
- Margot -
I made an appointment to meet Izzy at the same Starbucks where I saw her post her ad, which was handy because it gave me the perfect opportunity to test my rush hour commute. That way, I’d be prepared for the following week when I had my first day of my new job in the big city!
I was so excited I’d gotten the position, not to mention proud of myself. Best of all, so were my parents, who seemed relieved to know I wouldn’t be sulking around all summer.
And it wasn’t even an unpaid position after all! I mean, it was a totally demeaningly paid position, but a paycheck was a paycheck, and it was better than nothing.
It wasn’t enough to live on, of course, and if my research was right, it would probably only be enough to cover my transportation and lunch costs. Maybe the odd bag of groceries. Still, something was better than nothing…especially when I had a fat loan from the Bank of Mom and Dad hanging over my head.
On the one hand, I was really lucky that they were in a position to help me pay for college so I wouldn’t get stuck with the aggressive fees that most college loan companies charge (a reality my dad was morally opposed to). But the amount of money I already owed them added to the figure I’d owe after they spotted me my first six month’s rent was enough to raise my blood pressure.
It wasn’t an unfamiliar cause of stress, and my dad was pretty cool about not mentioning it every time I saw him. Regardless, I was eager to pay them off as quickly as possible so I could finally be free and independent, like I’d wanted to be since I was old enough to reach the gas pedal.
I didn’t mention to Izzy that I’d seen her hang the ad, but when she described herself over the phone, I knew it was the same person. And when she waltzed in wearing a red beret—as promised—I was as enchanted by her as I’d been the first time around.
I lifted a hand and stood up when she started looking around, and a smile spread across her face when she realized I wasn’t covered in a sweater of head-to-toe body hair, holding a large wooden cross, or wearing a face riddled with tear tattoos…or so I imagine that’s what must’ve been going through her head.
She waved at me and went to order a drink before coming over to the table.
“Hi,” she said when she arrived. “You must be Margot.”
“Guilty,” I said, sticking out a hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you don’t look like a serial killer,” she said, letting go of my hand before pulling her shoulder bag off over her head.
“Likewise.”
“But if you are,” she said, her expression growing serious. “I should warn you that I’ve been taking self-defense classes, and I could shove your nose through your brain if I had to.”
I stepped back. “Did something happen to you or—?”
“No,” she said. “But you can’t be too careful. I’m working with this girl, Jenny, right now, who had a director come on to her once, and I don’t want to take any chances. Plus, my place is fairly close to a homeless shelter, and sometimes it attracts some pretty rough-looking characters.”
“Is this the hard sell, then?”
The barista called Izzy’s name, and her hips shimmied through the tables, transporting her back a second later. In those few moments, I realized I wasn’t the only one who found her eye-catching. Or maybe people were just shocked that anyone could pull off a red beret and a black turtleneck outside of Paris.
“I don’t need to sell it,” she said, sitting down across from me. “This is New York. The spare bedroom is bigger than most in this price range and there’s a washer/dryer in the place. It’s basically The Ritz compared to my first few apartments.”
“Got it.”
“Can I assume you’re employed?”
I pointed out the window. “I start across the street on Monday. It’s only an internship, but I have enough savings to last me for a while.” It was a white lie, but I wasn’t convinced that telling a total stranger my entire financial situation was called for.
“What is it that you do?”
“I’m in advertising,” I said, exaggerating boldly.
“Cool.”
“You?”
“I’m an actress,” she said. “I’m doing Chicago off-Broadway right now.”
“Wow.”
“You should come sometime,” she said. “It’s a great show.”
“I’d love that.”
She seemed pleased with my enthusiasm. “You aren’t allergic to cigarette smoke, are you?”
“No,” I said. “Why? Are you a smoker?”
“Only occasionally when I drink with certain people, but I have some fairly artsy friends who consider a cigarette their most vital, eleventh finger, if you will.”
“Fine by me,” I said, shrugging. “As long as you open the windows when they’re over.”
“Oh God no. They don’t open. I’m on the eighth floor. I make them go outside, but they still reek like the smoking lounge at the airport all the time.”
“I’ll consider myself warned.”
“Where do you usually clip your toenails?” she asked, squinting at me.
I furrowed my brow. “In the bathroom over the toilet or the garbage can.”
“Great,” she said. “When do you normally do dishes?”
“Right after I use them?”
“Are you guessing, or is that your actual answer?”
“Both.”
She nodded. “Do you have any weird sexual fetishes I should know about?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know it’s sort of a personal question,” she said. “But I need to know if I’m going to come home to you and your friends wearing vinyl masks and pissing on each other in the shower.”
My eyes popped open so wide I thought they might fall out of my head.
“Can I take the look on your face as a no?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Boyfriend?”
I shook my head.
“Girlfriend?”
I shook my head again.
“Are you one of those girls that whines about not having a boyfriend all the time? Because I really can’t deal with that shit.”
She was growing on me. “No, I’m not. I’m pretty comfortable with my single status.”
“Are you a drinker?” she asked.
“I’d say I’m a soci
al drinker. Though I never say no to a glass of white wine.”
“Shame it’s not red. I’d marry you.”
I laugh. “I never say no to a glass of red either.”
“A girl after my own heart,” she said, sighing as she laid a hand across her chest. “I’m so relieved. You wouldn’t believe the weirdos that responded to my ad before you. I was starting to lose hope.”
“I sent them all,” I said. “To make me look good.”
Her smile fell away.
“That’s a joke,” I said. “Jeez. How weird were they?”
“We’ll discuss it over wine sometime.”
“Sounds good.” I wondered if that meant I was in. “Can I ask why you said no actors or artists in your ad?”
She pressed her lips together like she wanted to give the question a considered response. “Don’t get me wrong, I love creative types. Obviously, I spend most of my time with them. It’s just that sometimes I need to be around someone who isn’t obsessed with being the most eccentric person in the room.”
“Got it,” I said, keeping it to myself that I’d played second fiddle to my brother my whole life and was actually much more comfortable in a wallflower role.
“Also, they’re always broke, and the last two times I’ve roomed with people from the industry, I’ve gotten screwed out of rent money.”
“I see.”
She draped a hand around the base of her steaming cappuccino. “Speaking of which, are you happy to pay your first and last month’s rent plus a security deposit upfront?”
“Of course.”
“Fantastic,” she said. “How soon can you move in?”
E I G H T
- Landon -
Seeing her every day was harder than I thought it would be, but it was thrilling, too, like it used to be all those years ago when we were in each other’s pockets day in and day out.
I couldn’t help but feel I’d taken that time for granted, though, that I’d taken her for granted. Sure, I knew she was special back then, but it was far more obvious to me now that I had more experience with women.
Not surprisingly, everyone else in the office noticed she was special, too. How could they not? She was a natural hustler, and her professionalism was palpable in every exchange. It filled me with pride that I’d heard nothing but kind commentary about “the new intern.”
If anything, I’d heard too much. Catching the occasional comment about her appearance made me prickle up like a porcupine. But I was all too aware that she wasn’t mine to defend, so I never interfered… Except for the time I heard Barry running his mouth about her curves by the watercooler and accidentally stomped on his foot. Otherwise, I took my frustration out in the gym.
Regardless, we worked together now. So while the impenetrable bubble around her had been shrinking over the years, it had swelled again, placing her firmly out of my reach. Which was nothing new, unfortunately.
But being near her wasn’t entirely familiar either. The more time I spent at the periphery of her company, the more I could see just how much she’d grown up in the last few years. At the wedding, for example, I’d found her curves deliciously distracting, but there was more to it than that.
She was feminine and strong, from her physical posture to the way she expressed herself. Yet her smiles were warm and easy to extract, proving that the Margot I grew up with was still in there. She just had new goals and a new wardrobe, a wardrobe I increasingly found myself picturing on my bedroom floor.
I asked my assistant, Gloria, to pull her aside next time she passed my office one morning. As expected, I didn’t have to wait long since she was always going back and forth to the copy machine, which was right down the hall.
Gloria warned me with a quick call before Margot opened the door slowly, ducking her head for a moment as if there were a low ceiling. “You wanted to see me?”
I offered a friendly smile and fought the urge to check her out, though I noticed immediately that she was in one of her hip-hugging black skirts and a silk blouse that made her breasts look delicate and inviting, like the fruit draped with fabric in Renaissance paintings. “You seem surprised.”
Her shoulders relaxed as she closed the door behind her. “Only because you usually don’t need any favors until after lunch.”
I noted her use of the word favors and struggled to maintain my focus. “Do you have a few minutes now, or are you—”
“I have a few minutes,” she said, approaching the chairs in front of my desk. “Why? What’s up?”
“I just wanted to see how things were going.”
She squinted at me. “Why? Do you know something I don’t?”
“No,” I said. “Just asking as a friend.” I hated to label myself that way in her company, but I supposed that was better than boss. Not that I was her boss, but she definitely occupied a lower rung on the ladder we were climbing. “Plus, I got you some breakfast,” I said, sliding a coffee and a small brown bag her way.
She raised her eyebrows.
“Unless you already had breakfast, in which case, consider it brunch.”
“Thanks,” she said, setting the folder she was carrying on the edge of my desk and reaching for the bag. “What is it?”
“A strawberry-filled donut,” I said. “It’s from a cafe near my place that claims to make the best homemade pastries in the city.”
“Ooh.” Her eyes sparkled when she saw it. “I’m intrigued.”
It felt weird to talk across my large desk, so I got up and moved to the chair beside her.
“Would it be really uncool to scoff it right now?” she asked, her eyes flitting up to the silver clock on my wall.
“Not at all.”
“I mean, I had breakfast, but it was one of those healthy cereal bars aimed at women. It kept me full for about four minutes.”
I scrunched my face.
“My roommate bought them, and I’m beginning to realize the diet of an actress doesn’t provide enough sustenance for me.”
“She’s an actress?”
She nodded. “She’s in Chicago right now. Off-Broadway.”
“Wow. That’s fantastic.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m going to go one of these nights when I have the energy.”
“Full-time work knocking you out?”
She took a big bite of the donut and covered her mouth as she chewed. “Oh God, that’s divine,” she said, looking at the donut like she was seeing it for the first time.”
“Good.” I unbuttoned my suit jacket and tilted my head towards her drink. “Between that and the coffee, you’ll be able to work double time today.”
“It can’t hurt,” she said. “But for the record, it’s not like I’m afraid of a little hard work. It’s just an adjustment that my agenda isn’t really my own anymore, if that makes sense.”
“Welcome to the real world.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”
“So everything’s good then?” I asked. “Everyone’s being nice to you and you like your roommate?”
“Yeah, everything’s great. I feel like I’m learning a lot here, and I adore my roommate. She’s unapologetically outspoken, but I find her personality really refreshing.”
“So you’re all moved in already?”
“More or less,” she said with a shrug. “I still have a few boxes to unpack, but my bed’s all set up, and these days, that’s all I care about.”
“Sometimes I think that’s all I care about, too.”
She laughed. “I had no idea you were so interested in my bed.”
I let the accusation hang in the air, neither confirming nor denying it.
The color drained from her cheeks, and she stuffed the last bite of donut in her mouth before grabbing her coffee to wash it down. “I should get back to work,” she said, using her armrests to push herself up. “But it was sweet of you to think of me this morning.”
“Don’t mention it. I just thought it was about time someone brought you coffee
for a change.”
Her blue eyes smiled.
I stood as she slid her folder off my desk, my mind racing with all the ways I might remove the trace of red jelly that clung to the edge of her mouth. “Before you go, you missed a little filling.”
She froze as I lifted my hand, and her breath hitched when I touched her fat bottom lip. My heart raced as I dragged my finger across it, hesitating before I pulled away just long enough for her to close her lips around my finger, suck it into her mouth, and find the jelly with her tongue.
My eyes stayed on her lips as she tasted me, but when she let my finger go, I lifted my gaze in time to see her cheeks burst into flames.
She pressed her lips together as she took a step back. “Thanks.”
I watched her walk away, holding my breath as she glanced back at me once more before stepping out and closing the door. But for some reason, watching her go didn’t hurt as much this time.
And as I leaned against the edge of my desk, I lifted my hand and tasted the same finger she had, convinced that I detected a sweet trace of strawberry sugar…strawberry sugar and the girl of my dreams.
N I N E
- Margot -
I knew my rented room was small, but with every box I unpacked, it seemed to be shrinking exponentially, as if some sort of Alice in Wonderland special effect was at play.
“Are those your books from school?”
I glanced over my shoulder to see what Izzy was looking at as I reached for an empty hanger. “Yeah.”
“Why are you even keeping those?” she asked, eyeing the bottom shelf of my short bookcase, which was so small the large books protruded several inches from the shelf. “You’re never going to read them again.”
“Maybe not. But it’s too soon to make that call, and I’d rather be prepared if I need to look something up.”
“Fair enough.” She popped another green grape in her mouth and leaned back against the wall behind my bed. “Is that why you have so many clothes as well?”
“I can’t just wear black and white all the time like you.”
