by Hazel Kelly
His eyes narrowed.
“But only because I don’t have much happiness to compare it to.”
“You know what I mean.”
I nodded. “I suppose the only thing that would make me happier than I am today is if I knew for certain that I’d have a chance to love her just one more day. And preferably the day after that. And the next.” I took a deep breath. “I guess I’ve reached a point where I can’t imagine my life without her anymore. She’s like…you know how there’s a tag in your underwear that keeps you from wearing it the wrong way around?”
He craned his neck forward.
“I basically feel like I never had that, like I was going through life with my underwear on wrong. And then she came along and made everything right again, made everything feel good. Made everything make sense.”
“Like the tag in your underwear?”
“What I mean to say is, being alive is more comfortable since she came along.”
“What you mean to say is you don’t need another pitcher.”
I glanced down at my half-empty glass before eyeing the nearly empty jug. “Sorry. Talking about my feelings has never been my strong suit.”
“No shit.”
I sighed.
“That being said, I can’t fault your good taste.”
I thought I saw the flicker of a smile on his face.
“And I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of monster,” he said. “Obviously, I want you both to be happy.”
An inkling of relief warmed my chest.
“But I also feel like an idiot that I didn’t see this coming,” he said. “I know you two better than anyone. So why am I so shocked?”
“Because we deliberately hid it from you.”
“I get that.”
“But we hid it from each other, too,” I said. “And from ourselves.”
“She told me she’s been trying to get your attention for years.”
“She’s been doing a lot more than trying,” I said, regretting my tone immediately. “But not only was my loyalty to you an issue—”
“She was underage.”
“I know,” I said, feeling a wave of guilt at the inappropriate thoughts I had about her back then. “And I respected that.” I leaned back and ran a hand through my hair. “But it was more than that. Like you said a while back, I didn’t want her to like me simply because I was the first guy who was ever nice to her.”
“I’m listening.”
“I wanted her to live a little. And, frankly, I wanted to protect myself from the feelings she stirred in me.”
“So you were waiting for her to grow up?”
“Yeah.” I reached for my drink. “Don’t get me wrong, I hoped she would still want me later. I just always thought we’d grow apart or that she’d meet someone else.”
“But that didn’t happen.”
I shook my head. “No, and my feelings for her only got stronger. But she’ll be the first to tell you I did everything I could to discourage them—and hers.”
“Until when exactly?”
My mind flashed back to the day she walked into my office wearing nothing but a coat, and her stunning beauty shattered everything inside me, including my will to resist her. “When we started working together.”
“So I’m partly to blame for this?”
“No one is to blame, Matt. But if you want the credit, it’s all yours.”
His mouth twitched like that didn’t sound awful. “So when we were kids, everything was kosher? The family vacations you joined us on? All those nights you slept over? It’s not like there was any funny business going on right under my nose.”
I hesitated for a beat too long.
“Landon.”
“Only once.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“I kissed her at her high school graduation party,” I said. “A few days after she turned eighteen.”
His jaw tensed for a moment.
“Well, technically she kissed me, but I kissed her back.”
“And then what?” he asked.
“And then I left for school with you a few days later.”
“And then what?”
“I spent five years trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with her.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, it sucked.” I scratched the back of my head. “You guys are all I’ve got. You know that. I was reluctant to risk everything I knew for the unknown.”
“So what changed?”
“I don’t know. The combination of my willpower wearing down coupled with the fact that she’s gotten bossier.”
One side of his mouth curled towards his smiling eyes.
I was relieved he knew I didn’t mean anything bad by it.
“So now what?” he asked, draining his glass.
“I’m going to marry her and spend the rest of my li—”
He spat his drink out, catching half in his glass while the rest sprayed across the table.
I furrowed my brow. “Sorry, is that not what you meant? I thought you were asking about my intentions.”
“Don’t you think this is all moving a bit fast?” he asked, dragging a napkin across the table before crumpling it and tossing it on top of our leftover nachos.
“We think we’re making up for lost time, to be honest. But I’m not proposing tomorrow or anything. I just thought it would ease your mind if you knew I was in this for the long haul.”
His shoulders dropped several inches. “Right.”
“Besides, the last thing we need to worry about right now is a wedding when we have a business to build.”
The whites of his eyes doubled in size. “What?”
“I’m in the process of setting up my own agency,” I said. “And Margot’s going to join me in six months after she gets more experience where she is now.”
“Holy shit.”
“Sorry to pile that on, but I came here to be straight with you.”
A glint of gratitude shone in his eyes.
“You have to keep that on the down low, though, so she doesn’t get fired before I’ve set everything up.”
“You weren’t kidding,” he said. “You really are in this for the long haul.”
“I love her, Matt.” I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat. “I think she’s the most brilliant, intelligent, sharp-witted woman I’ve ever met, and there is nothing I’m not prepared to do to keep her happy and challenged and safe.”
His eyes softened as they swept my face and, for the first time, I felt like he really believed me.
“And I love you, too, man,” I said, fixing my eyes on his.
He stared at me for a moment before a smile lifted his stunned face.
I held my breath.
“What do you say we get a pitcher for the road?” he asked, topping up our drinks with the remaining slush.
My chest loosened as I exhaled. “I’d like that.”
F L A S H B A C K
- Margot -
The party had been going on all day, and while I appreciated how many people came, I sort of wished they’d go home already.
I stood at the window in Matt’s room, which still looked exactly like it did when he was in high school, and looked out over the backyard. The coals on the grill had finally cooled, and the paper lanterns my mom hung this morning were beginning to light up the garden.
Towards the back of the property, I could see my brother building a fire in the chiminea like he promised so my friends and I could get our drink on to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Of course, that wouldn’t be happening until my extended family members finished slipping me graduation checks and asking how I was feeling about going away to school, the drunker ones offering unsolicited advice that gave them an excuse to brag about how wild they were before they grew up and got boring.
Anyway, after eyeing the stash of booze I kept in Matt’s closet, I decided a few shots of peach schnapps would be the perfect lubricant to get me through the next hour. Unfortunately, I n
early spilled the bottle all over the windowsill when someone came into the moonlit room.
“Jesus, Landon, you scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry,” he said, stepping inside. “Did you want the light on?”
I shook my head and realized he might not be able to see that in the dark. “No,” I said. “It’s my party. I can spy if I want to.”
“Fair enough.”
“What are you doing up here?” I could see his face better when he joined me at the window…along with his body, which had filled out nicely during his first two years of college, further highlighting his broad frame.
He nodded towards the end of the bed. “I stashed my bag up here.”
“Are you leaving already?” I’d rather everyone else left.
“Yeah. I promised my dad I’d hang out with him tomorrow before I head back to school.”
“But that’s tomorrow,” I said, regretting the slight whine in my voice.
“I know, but there’s nothing worse than being hungover in a fishing boat at dawn.”
“If you say so.”
He looked out the window, his scar falling into the shadows. “Great party anyway. It was nice to see everyone. Especially Aunt Tillie. That woman really knows how to grab an ass.”
I cringed. “I’m so sorry. She doesn’t mean anything by it. She’s just…”
“Horny?”
I laughed and took a sip of my drink before offering it to Landon.
“What is it?” he asked, eyeing it suspiciously.
“Sprite and peach schnapps.”
“Naw, I’m good.”
“Suit yourself,” I said, taking another sip.
“When do you leave for school?”
“The twenty-third,” I said. “Or whenever my mom decides to stop holding me prisoner here.”
“I didn’t realize you had to be on campus so early.”
“Classes don’t start until the twenty-sixth, but I’d rather move in and find my classes before then.”
“Plus, it’s easier if you’re not the last to go,” he said. “It’s exhausting having to say goodbye to everyone a thousand times.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Maybe Matt and I will come visit once you get settled.”
“I’d like that.” More than I can tell you. “And if Matt’s not up for it, just bring Kelsey along and he’ll follow like a sappy puppy.”
Landon’s smiling cheekbone caught the moonlight. “She’s good for him, Margot. Trust me. He could do—and has done—a lot worse.”
“And you?” I asked, feeling emboldened by my belly full of schnapps. “Is there someone who’s good for you who’s keen to see you back on campus?”
“No. No one Aunt Tillie needs to worry about, anyway.”
I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath.
“I should get going.” He stepped to the end of the bed and grabbed his backpack.
I admired his ass when he turned his back and wondered if Aunt Tillie’s eyesight was better than she let on.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle of Grey Goose with a bow on it. “Happy birthday slash graduation.”
“Thanks,” I said, taking the bottle from him. “You shouldn’t have. Grey Goose especially. This stuff costs a fortune.”
He shrugged. “What else do you get for the girl who has everything?”
“I don’t have everything.”
He fixed his eyes on me. “You do.”
My heart rose in my chest.
“But if you think of anything you’re lacking, I’d say you can pick it up first thing tomorrow based on the hoard of envelopes Matt’s been collecting for you all day.”
I forced a smile. Unless there was a Landon-sized envelope in Matt’s back pocket, I was bound to be disappointed.
“Is there anything you wanted specifically?” he asked, pulling his backpack over one shoulder. “That you didn’t get?”
“There is one thing.” My eyes flicked down to his lips, and a rush of adrenaline shot up my spine.
He raised his eyebrows.
I leaned up and touched my lips to his, laying a hand on his chest to steady myself.
He froze and made no move to kiss me back.
By the time I sank back on my heels, my cheeks were on fire.
He blinked at me for a second, then took two steps towards the door and froze again.
My mouth fell apart, but I knew it would be dishonest to apologize.
A second later, he dropped his backpack and spun around, taking two quick strides back to me and grabbing me in his arms.
He wore a serious expression before he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me with an entirely different mouth than the one I’d just kissed. His lips were full and warm, and he used them to part mine before slipping his wet tongue into my mouth.
One hand pulled my lower back to him so fiercely I lost the feeling in my legs, while the other ran through my hair, pulling it back so he could kiss me more deeply.
I gripped his biceps when I felt him swell against my stomach, bracing myself in his arms as we tasted each other.
His passion incinerated me from head to toe, until I was nothing but a woman-shaped cloud of ash, bowed against his solid body.
Once I relaxed into the kiss, I marveled at the delicate way we shared the inadequate slip of air between us, and by the time he set me back up and pulled away, I felt lightheaded and tipsy and outside myself.
I stared at him and lifted my fingers to my tingling lips to check if he’d kissed them right off me. “Landon, I—”
“Happy birthday, Margot.”
And then he left, taking my heart with him.
F O R T Y N I N E
- Margot -
I was using my much-needed break from the dance floor as an opportunity to admire Landon from across the room. He and Ben were hanging on Christophe’s every word as he told them a story that required a lot of hand gestures.
After having gotten to know Christophe quite well, I would’ve put money on the story being dirty, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was that Ben had thrown Landon what could only be described as a killer birthday party and, best of all, he’d given me all the credit.
I’m sure Landon knew I couldn’t have pulled it off on my own, but I think he was as pleased as I was that his friends and I had hit it off so well. I mean, they were a classy bunch, so of course they were kind to me from the moment he introduced us, but I actually felt like I could really count on them now. Like they were sincerely my friends, too.
I was meeting Carrie and Nora for lunch from time to time, and Jenny and Izzy had grown close during their time doing Chicago, so my social circle was expanding all the time. Which was great because it meant I didn’t have to be so possessive of Izzy. Granted, she was my still my favorite out of everyone, but I didn’t feel the need to cling to her like I had when I first arrived in this city with nothing but a deluded sense of self-worth and a can-do attitude.
So while it took longer than I hoped, I was finally starting to feel settled. And although Landon had been the catalyst for many of the positive changes in my life, it was awesome to reach a point where I had other good things going for me, too. After all, I wanted to be strong and well-rounded for him. I wanted to prove that I could be not only his biggest fan, but his equal partner, too.
Izzy plopped down in the booth beside me with two Dirty Shirleys and slid one my way. “When are you going to stop ogling him like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like he just asked you to the prom in front of all your friends from a hot-air balloon.”
I laughed. “I’m not ogling him.”
“You are,” she said. “Hasn’t it been like a year? Did it ever occur to you that the rest of us are sick of watching you make that sappy puppy face?”
“I can’t help it. I still can’t believe my luck.”
“The luck you made, you mean?”
I smil
ed. “I suppose you did help me make a little of my own luck.”
“I know,” she said, using her straw to suck an inch of vodka from her drink. “I blame myself for your sappy face every day.”
I knocked my shoulder into hers. “Thank you.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Now we just need to find you a man.”
“‘Man’ being the operative word,” she said.
“Worst-case scenario, there’s always your stalker.”
“Actually, he’s been quiet lately.”
I shook my head. “You got a jumbo teddy bear in the mail today.”
“I did?”
“Right after you left for your audition.”
“How jumbo?” she asked.
I tried to recall how tall it was beside me. “Maybe three feet?”
She nodded. “Not bad. Bigger than the last one anyway.”
“What do you want to do with this one?”
“I’ll bring it to The Nest like the others,” she said. “I’m sure they’ll know what to do with it.”
“And the chocolate roses it came with?”
“We should probably remove those,” she said. “Especially if there aren’t enough to go around.”
“Good call.”
“Carrie told me you guys secured some office space this week,” she said, using her straw to coax a cherry to the top of her drink.
“Gosh, news travels fast. I hadn’t even mentioned it to her yet.”
“Landon asked her to decorate it,” she said. “I guess you guys might be there a while.”
“Fingers crossed.”
“So business is good?”
“Yeah,” I said, stirring my drink. “I mean, I have no point of comparison, but we’re finally profitable.”
“That’s good.”
“No shit,” I said. “I was sort of freaked the first few months, but I guess clients are like buses.”
“Have you sold any projects yourself yet?”
I pressed my lips together. It didn’t seem right to brag, especially when tonight was supposed to be all about Landon, but it was Izzy. I blatantly encouraged her to brag all the time. “Actually, I sold my first one yesterday.”
Her face lit up. “Margot! That’s amazing!”
“Thanks,” I said, remembering the high I felt when the client signed on the dotted line. “I’m pretty happy about it.”
