Handpicked Husband (Love Inspired Historical)

by Griggs, Winnie

  He’d never seen her so rattled before. Was it an embarrassed reaction to her own response to their kiss? Or did thinking about the kind of intimacy a man and woman shared after marriage frighten her? “It’s all right if you want to take it slow.”

  Her lips compressed in a stubborn line. “You don’t understand.”

  That was an understatement. “Then help me understand.”

  “I don’t want any of this.” She waved her hands, as if trying to encompass the world. “I don’t know what Grandfather told you, but I’m unwed because I choose to be, not because I haven’t had offers.” Her face hardened. “Surely you’re not the sort of man to take an unwilling woman to his bed.”

  Adam’s back stiffened. If a man had dared say that to him, he’d be eating those words right now. “I wouldn’t force myself on any woman,” he bit out. “But I also don’t see myself remaining celibate the rest of my life. And since I also don’t intend to break my wedding vows, we have a problem.”

  He folded his arms. He didn’t for one minute believe Regina was truly content with her spinster-aunt status. She was too spirited, to vibrant a woman for that. “You can either tell me what’s really bothering you, or I’ll consider you’ve broken faith with our contract. And that means I take Jack to Philadelphia.”

  The stricken, trapped look in Regina’s eyes was almost his undoing. But Adam held firm. He had to get to the bottom of whatever was causing her to take this irrational stand.

  She rallied quickly, squaring her shoulders. “The contract only states that I have to select a groom and then marry him within the allotted time. I intend to fulfill that obligation, so far as it goes.” She tossed her head. “If you don’t like my terms, there’s still time for you to walk away.”

  Adam shook his head. “I’ve already explained I can’t do that. And from where I’m standing, honoring your marriage vows appears an implicit part of the contract.”

  He raised a brow. “I’m just a lawyer, though. If you insist on sticking by your interpretation, we can ask Judge Madison to decide which of us is correct.”

  Regina’s hands fisted. Her face reflected so much tightly leashed desperation he expected her to use those fists to pound against him.

  She stood locked in that stance for an eternity of seconds. Dark emotions stirred her features, an outer sign of the inner war she must be fighting.

  What was it that had such a strong hold over her?

  Adam recognized the exact moment she realized she had no choices left, that she had lost the struggle between them. Despair, so deep and poignant it was tangible, flashed across her face. Then her expression closed off.

  Without another word, she spun around and walked away.

  He let her go, disappointed she hadn’t chosen to tell him what was really bothering her.

  Regina was no coward or simpering miss, so what was she so afraid of? Had some man taken advantage of her, hurt her in some way?

  A rush of fury flooded through him at the very thought.

  That would explain so much—why she had never married, why she’d contented herself with raising someone else’s child, with living in someone else’s home.

  He had to convince her to trust him enough to tell him the full story. Once everything was out in the open between them, he could reassure her, could give her the time she needed to overcome her trepidations, to learn what a beautiful thing the God-ordained institution of marriage could bring a loving couple.

  Could avenge her honor if that was called for.

  But without honesty, any relationship between them was doomed to failure.

  * * *

  Reggie’s mind skittered in all directions, trying to find a solution to the problem.

  There had to be another way out of this mess.

  She couldn’t tell Adam the truth, couldn’t take the chance. The stakes were too high.

  But, oh, if things were different...

  Her lips tingled from the memory of that kiss. There was something so achingly sweet, so affirming, so right about it.

  Buck’s barking startled her back to the here and now. She looked up to find Ira watching her with a worried frown. She tried to return a reassuring smile, but could tell he wasn’t fooled.

  She turned to watch Jack. He’d stooped down, studying something in the tall grass. Buck was by his side, tail wagging in excitement. Which probably meant they were looking at a bug or frog, definitely nothing dangerous.

  Jack glanced up and gave her a little-boy grin, then returned to whatever he’d been studying.

  She heard Adam’s footsteps and tensed. She couldn’t face him, not with her emotions so raw. If that made her a coward, so be it.

  She quickly closed the gap between her and Mrs. Peavy. “I think it’s time we headed back to town.”

  Mrs. Peavy nodded. “The hamper is already packed.”

  A few moments later, as they prepared to climb back in the carriage, Reggie had the cowardly urge to ask Ira to take her place in front while she slipped into the back. Her gaze met Adam’s briefly, and the knowing glint she spied there stiffened her spine.

  With a smile that felt as brittle as cracked glass, she allowed him to hand her up into the front seat.

  That evening, Reggie wasn’t certain if Adam would show up for supper, but sure enough, he arrived right on schedule.

  She didn’t understand. How could he act as if nothing had changed?

  They’d barely settled around the table, when Jack turned to Adam. “Mr. Barr?”

  Adam paused in the act of passing a platter to Reggie. “Yes?”

  “Aunt Reggie says, if it’s all right with you, I could call you Uncle Adam after y’all get married.”

  Reggie’s gaze flew to Adam’s. A startled expression flashed across his features, there and gone in a heartbeat. Please say the right thing.

  Adam gave the boy a wide smile. “Uncle Adam. That has a nice ring to it.” He nodded. “I’d be honored.”

  Equal parts relief and gratitude curled through Reggie.

  “Do I have to wait until the wedding?” Jack asked.

  Adam winked. “It wouldn’t bother me if you started right away. After all,” his gaze cut to Reggie, “it’s not as if there’s anything that’s going to stop the wedding now.”

  Reggie reached for her glass with suddenly icy fingers. She could not become Adam’s wife. To do so would render all her prior sacrifices meaningless.

  But how would she ever explain things to Jack when this was over?

  The rest of the meal passed by in a nightmarish parody of normalcy. They talked and ate as if everything was as it should be. But afterward, Reggie couldn’t remember what had been said or what she’d eaten.

  As Adam pulled her chair back for her after the meal, she thought about pleading a headache. And it wouldn’t be stretching the truth by much.

  But before she could say anything, Adam turned to Jack.

  “If you don’t mind, your Aunt Regina and I have some things to discuss about the wedding.”

  Mrs. Peavy waved a hand toward the boy. “Why don’t you come along to the kitchen with me? I have a few cookies left over from our picnic, and Ira was just saying he wished he had someone to play checkers with.”

  Reggie allowed Adam to escort her into the parlor. The touch of his hand at her elbow evoked memories of the kiss they’d shared. She couldn’t control the tiny, telltale quiver that sidled up her arm.

  Did he intend to pick up the conversation where they’d left it this afternoon? Could he possibly be ready to see reason and actually help her find an acceptable compromise?

  He led her to the sofa, then took a seat opposite.

  “Was there something in particular you wished to discuss?” Reggie asked. The words sounded stilted even to her own ears, but she couldn’t shake the edgy, jittery feeling. She clasped her hands in her lap just to keep them from trembling.

  “There was.” He leaned forward, his expression almost sympathetic. “I’ve been thinkin
g about what you said earlier, about wanting a platonic marriage.”

  Hope and something poignantly remorseful stirred in her. He was ready to compromise.

  His gaze probed hers. “Answer me truthfully. Are you committed to making this marriage work?”

  Her hands tightened painfully as her hope fizzled. What did he expect from her? “I will do whatever I must to keep Jack.”

  Adam grimaced. “Not the most flattering response, but an honest one.”

  He leaned back and offered a reassuring smile. “That being said, I’ll agree to take things slow, to give you time to adjust to the idea of being married. The best way to accomplish that would be for the two of us to spend the first few days after the wedding at your cabin.”

  Reggie felt the blood drain from her face. He couldn’t mean it. The two of them, alone, hours from anyone.

  “Don’t worry—I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. But if we’re going to try to work through your...reservations, then I think some time alone is a good way to start.”

  His smile took on a self-mocking edge. “Besides, I don’t relish word getting out that I spent my wedding night in a separate bedroom from my new wife.”

  He raised a brow. “Any objections?”

  Objections? Of course she had objections—dozens of them. How could he possibly see this as a solution? This problem couldn’t be resolved in two years, let alone two days.

  But if it would salve his pride to not make their arrangement known right away, she couldn’t deny him that. Stunned by the ever deepening hole she was digging for herself, Reggie shook her head.

  “Good.” Adam stood. “Then, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll say good-night.”

  As she watched him leave, all Reggie could think about was spending two days isolated with Adam in her favorite place in the whole world.

  Fear wasn’t the only emotion she felt.

  * * *

  The next few days strained Reggie’s control to the near-breaking point. It wasn’t that Adam was unkind or demanding. In fact, it was just the opposite.

  He treated her as if the conversation in the meadow had never taken place. He came by in the mornings, taking over the repair work Mitchell had started. Then he returned in the evening, joining them for supper.

  Not even her studio offered a sanctuary. He would show up there occasionally while she worked. Not that he overtly intruded. He actually spent more time chatting with Ira than with her, which for some reason put her in even more of a snit.

  But she was always conscious of his presence. Every time he touched her, be it a simple taking of her elbow to help her down the stairs, or an accidental brushing against her as they passed through a doorway, it set her on edge.

  Nights were the worst. She lay awake for hours, trying to find answers on her shadowy ceiling. When she did fall asleep, her dreams were haunted by images of what could have been.

  The day of her wedding, Reggie climbed out of bed with the grim realization that she’d run out of time. In six hours she would become Mrs. Adam Barr. She had to tell Adam the truth about her past.

  With stiff, mechanical motions, she got dressed and plodded down the stairs. She ate her breakfast without tasting it.

  Jack, excited about the upcoming wedding, carried most of the conversation.

  When the meal was over, Reggie pulled Ira aside. “I’m going to my studio. Please find Adam and ask him to join me there as soon as is most convenient.”

  Ira gave her a searching look, then nodded and left. Feeling like a prisoner marching to the gallows, Reggie asked Mrs. Peavy to keep an eye on Jack, then headed out.

  Myrtis Jenkins, her nearest neighbor, was working in her flower garden. “Good morning, Reggie. A lovely day for a wedding, isn’t it?”

  Reggie managed to smile through the queasiness in her stomach. “Yes, ma’am. A bride couldn’t ask for a sunnier one.” With a wave she hurried on. She had to endure two more such encounters before she was able to scurry safely inside her studio.

  Then the waiting began. Unable to sit still, Reggie paced the length of the room and back, over and over.

  Lately, she’d felt like she was in a slightly off focus dream. Adam never so much as mentioned their discussion in the meadow, nor had he tried to kiss her again. Yet every look they’d exchanged, every accidental contact they made had been fraught with meaning, to her at least.

  The fact that he’d been so exactingly polite had only kept her off balance, unsure of what his feelings truly were.

  It didn’t matter though. What she was about to tell him would put an end to any hope she had of having a normal future as his wife. Not that she’d stood a chance before.

  If only she could snatch Jack up and run someplace far away, someplace where they could never be found.

  Her grandfather had given those three men a chance to start new—why couldn’t she have the same opportunity?

  A knock at the door stopped her in her tracks. She spun around and faced the door, feeling the contents of her stomach rebel. She couldn’t do this.

  A second knock, more insistent this time. “Regina, are you in there?”

  Breathe.

  “Coming.”

  Reggie smoothed her skirt, then stepped forward to open the door.

  * * *

  Adam stepped inside and took in the doomed expression on Regina’s face before she turned away. He shut the door behind him and tossed his hat on the counter. “Ira said you wanted to speak to me.”

  She turned to face him and he sensed a desperate air of entreaty about her. “I want to ask you one more time to call this wedding off, or at least respect my wish to not push me to consummate it.”

  Adam swallowed an oath. He’d thought they were making progress on that front. He hadn’t been oblivious to her awareness of him, to the signals her eyes sent, or to her reaction when he “accidentally” touched her.

  Why was she so adamantly denying this attraction they both felt?

  “As I told you before,” he said firmly, “if anyone calls a halt to this wedding, it will be you, not me. And if you do, I will be forced to follow through with my obligations under that contract we all signed.”

  He approached her until only a hand span separated them. He could smell the fresh outdoor scent of her, could almost feel her breath on his skin, see the rapid pulse beat in her neck. “I’m not a monster, Regina. I’m willing to give you the time you need to adjust to the idea of being married. We can take it slow, get to really know each other along the way. But if we go through with the marriage, I want your word there will be a real effort on your part to make it work. I expect this to eventually become a true marriage, in every sense of the word.”

  He brushed a stray hair from her forehead and her eyes closed briefly at his touch. “Can you do that?”

  Her eyes opened again and he saw a regret and pain there so deep he winced.

  “I can.”

  Her unexpected capitulation set his pulse surging in a wild stirring of victory. “That’s all I ask—”

  She placed a finger to his lips. “No. Don’t say anything just yet. I’ve tried to avoid this in every way I know how, but you’ve left me no choice.”

  What was wrong?

  “Before we take this any further, before we make any vows or commitments to each other, there’s something you should know.”

  “I’m listening.” Anticipation stirred his blood. She was finally ready to tell him what had happened to make her so afraid of marriage. Whatever it was, he was confident he could help her work through it.

  She squared her shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes.

  “Jack is not my nephew. He’s my son.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Adam’s gut clenched as if she’d delivered a blow. Several possibilities had swirled through his mind, but this had been nowhere on the list. Had some filthy bit of pond scum attacked her? “How?”

  “The sordid details aren’t important.”

&nbs
p; “They are to me.” He reached for her hands, trying to comfort her.

  But she pulled away. “Seven years ago, I let myself be seduced by a stranger who threw a bit of attention and flattery my way,” she said bitterly. “Then, when he’d gotten what he wanted, he moved on.”

  Adam’s whole perception of her shifted, turned upside down.

  She glared a defiant challenge. “Is that enough detail for you, or do you want more?”

  “Who knows about this?”

  “Until a few minutes ago, Mr. and Mrs. Peavy were the only ones still alive who knew.” She narrowed her eyes. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “How did you manage to keep it secret?” These weren’t the questions he wanted to ask, but they were the only ones his mouth could form.

  “Patricia lost two babies in the early years of her marriage. The doctor told her it would be dangerous to try again, so she and Lemuel resigned themselves to a childless marriage. When I realized I was carrying Daniel’s child, once everyone got over the shock, we hatched a scheme where we would let everyone think she had disregarded the doctor’s orders.

  “She and I traveled to St. Louis, under the pretense that, because of her history, Patricia should be put in the care of a ‘specialist’ during her confinement. Changing places once we arrived was a simple matter. I became Mrs. Lemuel Willis, and she became Regina Nash. Once Jack was born and I had regained my strength, we came back to Turnabout with no one the wiser.”

  She made it sound so trivial, so ordinary.

  “I hadn’t realized what a clever little liar you were.” He felt the fool. It hadn’t been the intimacy she feared. It had been the discovery of her sordid secret.

  Then the full import of her words hit him. “How could you just give your own son away to someone else to raise, like a garment that had become too constrictive? Was your reputation more important to you than your son?”

  Her hands fisted and her eyes flashed lightning. “How dare you! You can judge me a fallen woman if you wish. I will freely admit my guilt. But don’t you ever, ever suggest I don’t love Jack or that I would do anything to cause him harm. Handing my son over to my stepsister was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.”