Handpicked Husband (Love Inspired Historical)

by Griggs, Winnie

  She took a deep breath, her eyes still flashing icy fire. “I didn’t do it for my reputation. If that was all that had been at stake, I would have braved the gossips and self-righteous finger-pointers.”

  She lifted her chin. “But I couldn’t bear for my child to face that same ostracism. He shouldn’t have to grow up with the stigma of being the illegitimate son of a man who seduced a sixteen-year-old girl and then abandoned her without looking back. Jack deserves a chance to live life unburdened by my sins.”

  Pretty words. Did they help her sleep easier at night? Is that how his own mother had justified abandoning him? “He deserves to know the truth.”

  “Maybe someday, when he’s much older and able to understand such matters. But the ‘when’ and even ‘if’ is for me to decide, no one else.”

  “Judge Madison should be told.”

  “No.” Panic flared in her eyes. “You can’t tell him.”

  So much for her saintly motives. “Surely you’re not saying you’re worried about the judge’s sensibilities as well?”

  She flinched, then compressed her lips. “There may be no blood tie between Judge Madison and Jack, just like he’s not my true grandfather, but there is more that binds a family together than mere blood. Jack is his great-grandson, for all intents and purposes. I wouldn’t want to hurt Grandfather by informing him that he’s the last of his line.”

  “Not to mention the inheritance Jack stands to lose.”

  The stinging slap resounded in the quiet room. Adam almost welcomed the sting.

  “The other day you accused me of not knowing you.” Her voice shook with passion. “You’ve just proved that you do not know me.” She spun on her heel and stalked away.

  Adam absently rubbed his cheek as he watched her retreat. She braced her hands against the counter and stood with her back to him. Her shoulders trembled slightly, whether from agitation or fear he couldn’t tell.

  His whole picture of her as a caring, honest woman was shattered.

  She’d given away her son, turned him over to someone else to raise.

  Just as his mother had with him.

  Her reason might be different, might sound nobler, but it didn’t change the facts. Abandoning a child was unforgivable, any way you looked at it.

  Yet he couldn’t tell Jack the truth about his parentage. Regina was right about that much at least. Putting the boy through that nightmare, forcing him to feel the wrenching pain of knowing that the person who should love you the most didn’t feel you were worth fighting for, would be needlessly cruel.

  But Judge Madison was another matter. Hearing the truth might be painful, but he deserved to know. In fact, Adam was certain, given the choice, he would want to know.

  What was he supposed to do about the wedding now? The ceremony was only a few hours away. That confounded contract contained nothing to cover this situation.

  How could he possibly marry a woman who’d acted so immorally, so heartlessly?

  Amid the maelstrom of questions, an almost inconsequential one surfaced. What had happened to the stranger, this blackguard Daniel, who had seduced and abandoned her?

  What sort of man could have so thoroughly turned the head of the fiercely independent Regina?

  And did she still pine for him?

  * * *

  Reggie fought to control both her breathing and her churning emotions. This hadn’t gone well at all. Her palm still stung from the blow she’d landed on his cheek.

  The burning anger was gone now, replaced by sadness for what might have been and a panic that threatened to overwhelm her.

  She had hoped for more sympathy, if not for herself, at least for the way she’d handled the subsequent situation. The depth of his rejection had taken her completely by surprise. What would he do now?

  Would he cancel the wedding?

  Would he tell Grandfather?

  Would he expose her secrets to the town? To Jack?

  Oh, please God, don’t let him be that heartless.

  Had she done the right thing in telling him? Or had this humiliation been for nothing? In her selfish desire to hold on to her son, had she given this prison-hardened man a weapon he could use to destroy her family?

  It would be better to have Jack torn away from her and sent to boarding school than for him to be branded as the illegitimate son of a harlot.

  She heard Adam approach and turned to face him. Trying to read any hint of his next action in his face was useless. The man’s expression was closed as tight as a bank vault.

  Adam stopped a few feet from her. What thoughts were running through his mind? What decisions had he made?

  The seconds ticked away as he stared at her. Seeing the icy contempt in his eyes while she waited for him to speak was agonizing.

  Finally, Reggie couldn’t stand it any longer. “If you’re trying to torture me by your silence, you’ve succeeded. Can you just get on with telling me what you’ve decided?”

  “Decided about what?”

  The man was infuriating! “About the weather,” she said sarcastically. Then she waved a hand. “About all of it—the wedding, Jack, my grandfather.”

  “The wedding will proceed as planned.”

  “It will?” She was surprised, not only by the answer but by his matter-of-fact tone.

  “Of course. We are still bound by the terms of the contract.”

  Reggie wished the contract to perdition. How did he really feel about being married to her? More to the point, how did she feel about marrying him now that he could barely stand to look at her? Did he still intend to make a true marriage of it, or did the thought of touching her now repulse him?

  She couldn’t bring herself to ask the question.

  “As for Jack, while I don’t like being party to deception, you were right in saying he’s an innocent in all this. It can only hurt him to learn the truth at this stage.”

  Relief surged through her, making her almost giddy. She could face even a cold, passionless marriage as long as Jack was protected.

  Then she realized he hadn’t answered her last question. “And Grandfather?”

  “The situation with Judge Madison is a different matter.”

  Her heart tried to climb into her throat. Don’t do this to me. Please.

  “He deserves to hear the truth,” Adam continued ruthlessly.

  “The news will kill him.” Reggie’s voice was little more than a croak.

  “Judge Madison is a strong man, both physically and emotionally. While this will be unpleasant, I’m certain he’ll be able to weather it.” A small tic appeared at the corner of his mouth. “However, it would be best if the news came from you rather than from me.”

  He couldn’t know what he was asking of her. “What if I refuse?”

  She hadn’t thought it possible for his expression to harden further, but somehow it did. “You have one month to find a way to tell him. If you haven’t done so in that time, I’ll have no choice but to do it for you.”

  Why couldn’t he understand how hurtful this would be, not just for her, but for Grandfather as well? “I can’t tell him such news in a letter.”

  He waved impatiently. “Of course not. We’ll plan a trip to Philadelphia soon after we return from the cabin.”

  Her heart stuttered. He still wanted to go to the cabin after the ceremony? The two of them, alone for two whole days?

  “What could be more reasonable?” he continued. “We’ll be getting your grandfather’s belated blessing on the marriage, and it’ll give me time to take care of unfinished business.”

  “That’s right,” she said. “You always see things in terms of such absolute right and wrong. There’s no room in your world for the shadowy lines between.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, shadows are where criminals and other miscreants hide.” He straightened the cuff of his shirt. “Now, is there anything else you wanted to tell me?”

  Reggie shook her head.

  “Good. Then I believe we have a w
edding to prepare for. If you’ll excuse me?” With a mocking bow, he turned and left.

  Reggie remained there long after the jingle from the bell above the door faded away. How could she go through with this? How could she marry a man who considered her little better than a harlot.

  All the old feelings of humiliation and worthlessness from that long-ago morning when she’d had the last of her innocence stripped away came flooding back. The morning Daniel had stood there with that pitying smile and told her how nicely she’d helped him pass the time but he was ready to move on.

  How could she smile convincingly as she repeated her vows when she felt so soiled and unworthy inside?

  Would everyone in the church see that cold loathing in Adam’s expression when he looked at her?

  Slowly she locked the front door and moved to the side one. She wanted to get home as unobtrusively as possible. She couldn’t face any of her neighbors right now, not when she felt as if she might shatter into a thousand pieces with just the slightest touch.

  As she stepped outside, though, she took a deep breath and tried to regroup. After all, she’d managed to take this huge step, confessing the story no one had spoken aloud in over six years. And she’d revealed it to Adam no less, the man who held her future in the palm of his hand.

  The man who had once held her heart there as well.

  If she could survive that, surely she could survive whatever came next. She just had to do as she’d always done: square her shoulders, face her problems without flinching and do what she had to do to make certain those she loved were safe.

  * * *

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

  Reggie looked into her new husband’s eyes and saw a flatness there that sent icy fingers up her spine. When he bent to give her the traditional kiss, she had to force herself to hold still. The cold-as-a-tombstone brush of his lips was mercifully brief.

  Somehow, she managed to smile as they turned and walked down the aisle, arm in arm. A reception awaited them outside and the church lawn was already crowded with friends and neighbors. It appeared the whole town had gathered to see them wed.

  She moved among her friends with a smile pasted on her face, feeling as if this were a waking nightmare. How was it no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary? Couldn’t they see the brittleness in her expression, the fragility of her control?

  She paused at each cluster of guests only long enough to receive their well wishes. She must have made sensible responses, though she couldn’t for the life of her remember just what she said.

  For his part, Adam received claps on the back and good-natured jabs. The citizens of Turnabout seemed more than happy to welcome him into their midst.

  But each time their glances met across the churchyard, she saw that same flatness that chilled her to her very core. She imagined that would be the same look he’d give to whoever had framed him and sent him to jail for six years.

  At last the buggy was brought around. Their bags and a large hamper of food was already stowed inside.

  Reggie noted Trib was tied to the back.

  Amid more well wishes and knowing glances, the newlyweds were escorted to the buggy and Ira handed the reins to Adam.

  Neither said a word as they rode away. When they turned onto the rutted trail that would eventually lead to Reggie’s cabin, Adam slowed the vehicle to a stop.

  “I assume you know how to handle a buggy?” His tone was excruciatingly polite.

  She nodded.

  “Good.” He handed her the reins and stepped down. A moment later he’d untied Trib and mounted up. Riding around to the front, he met her gaze again. “If you feel the need to stop and rest, just call out.” With that, he nudged Trib into a trot.

  Reggie flicked the reins and set the buggy in motion. It was a relief not to have his stony, disapproving presence sitting beside her. But this lonely ride was giving her too much time to think about what might happen once they reached the cabin.

  Did he intend to continue with this chilly politeness?

  Adam stayed within easy hailing distance, but he never once looked back. Although Reggie would have enjoyed an opportunity to stand up and stretch for a few minutes, she held her peace. Better to endure a long ride without pause than to face the look of betrayal and distaste in his eyes again.

  There would be time enough for that at the cabin.

  An eternity later, Regina sat up straighter. They’d reached the spot where she’d first encountered the four men. Had it been only three weeks ago?

  Something in the way Adam shifted in the saddle told her he recognized the spot, too. What was he thinking? Would he finally glance back at her?

  Instead, he nudged Trib to a faster pace. By the time she reached the cabin, Adam had already dismounted.

  He stepped forward to hand her down, but didn’t maintain contact longer than absolutely necessary. “Just tether the horse to that branch,” he said, already moving away. “I’ll unload the bags and unhitch the buggy after I take care of Trib.”

  Reggie watched him disappear behind the cabin, then secured the horse as he’d directed. Ignoring his other instructions, she lifted the hamper and carried it inside. She wouldn’t be able to eat anything tonight, but Adam might be hungry.

  She dusted off the table and spread a cloth on it. She’d just laid out a simple meal when Adam walked in, carrying two buckets of water.

  “I thought you might want to freshen up after that ride.” He glanced at the table. “Don’t bother setting out anything for me. What I ate at the reception will hold me until morning.”

  He moved back to the door and returned shortly with her bags. “You can take this bed,” he said, depositing her things near the curtained alcove. “I’ll take the loft.”

  Well, that answered one of her questions.

  As she picked up the dishes she’d already laid out, Reggie noticed her hands trembled slightly.

  It was just as well he wouldn’t look at her.

  “Don’t bother waiting up for me,” he added. “I plan to do some exploring. I may be a while.”

  “Be careful,” she said as matter-of-factly as she could. “These woods can be tricky to find your way around in, especially after dark.” She’d offer to guide him, but she knew her presence wouldn’t be welcome.

  “I’ll manage.” He gave her a ghost of his old smile. “If I get lost, I’ll whistle.” Then his expression shuttered again, as if he regretted even that small bit of thawing.

  Without another word, he left.

  That night, Reggie lay in bed, staring at the raftered ceiling and straining to hear some sign that he’d returned. Darkness had fallen an hour ago. Even though a full moon provided plenty of light, she was getting worried.

  At last she heard his boots on the front porch and relief washed over her.

  He didn’t come inside, though. She imagined him leaning against the porch rail, staring off into the starry night sky.

  What was he thinking? Was he railing against the fate that had tied him to her? Even without her sordid past, she wasn’t at all like the woman he’d been engaged to before.

  Emma Silverton.

  She’d been the most sought-after debutante in Philadelphia and she’d set her sights on Adam.

  The woman was classically beautiful, had skin like cream, the voice of a songbird and hair like spun gold. She moved with a feminine grace and her smile could reduce even the hardest-hearted person into a willing lackey.

  She’d also had the greed of a spoiled two-year-old and all the compassion of an adolescent bully. It hadn’t surprised Reggie to learn the self-centered socialite had abandoned Adam the moment he was arrested.

  But did Adam still have feelings for her?

  Reggie had kept up with Emma through the years—a sort of macabre fascination on her part. She knew Emma had married someone else while Adam was in jail. Another lawyer in the firm Adam had worked for, the son of a senator no less.

  Reggie rolled to
her other side. Then stilled as the cabin door opened.

  Adam stepped inside and her heart began an erratic thumping. She stared at the curtain as if she could see though it, following his progress by the sound of his footsteps.

  He stopped halfway across the room. What was he doing? She was afraid to move, to even breathe for fear she would miss some sound he might make.

  After what seemed an eternity he moved on and she heard him climb the ladder to the loft.

  That was it then. He’d made his decision and obviously wanted nothing to do with her.

  Reggie pulled the pillow tight against her chest, trying to smother the pain there.

  * * *

  Adam undressed in the cramped loft and stretched out on the pallet, staring up at the ceiling. Last night when he’d gone to bed, his mind had been full of ideas on how best to woo his marriage-shy bride. He’d vowed to be patient with her, to do his best to gain her trust.

  Marriage-shy—hah! She would no doubt think it a grand joke that he’d been so concerned with her maidenly reluctance.

  He had seen her bold, independent manner as another facet of honesty and an unwillingness to compromise her values. Her refusal to let what others think influence her actions had seemed a refreshing change from the attitude of the women he’d known before. But she’d taken that I’ll-do-as-I-please attitude one step too far.

  By her own admission, Regina was more sinner than saint. A woman who could freely give away both her innocence and her child was too cold-hearted and uncaring for him to develop any tender feelings for.

  Even if she did look like a wounded innocent tonight.

  So why did he still feel this strong attraction to her?

  And what did he intend to do about it?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Adam woke to the tempting smell of freshly brewed coffee and frying ham. He was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since he’d last eaten.

  Regina glanced up briefly when he joined her. “Good morning. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”