“Of course not,” Amos said. Jonathan didn’t turn, but he could feel his older brother standing behind him. “He says he didn’t even turn it on. And I believe him.”
But he could have. If Amos hadn’t found the phone while the family was getting ready to head out on a day trip to visit friends, who knew what Mark might’ve seen or done when he’d managed to get somewhere where with Wi-Fi access.
“He is a gut young man,” Amos added. “He has a good heart. He’s just struggling.”
Struggling because he can’t trust me. And I don’t blame him after what I did.
Jonathan ran his hand over his jaw, missing the softness of his beard. Shaving it off every morning was an unexpectedly uncomfortable daily reminder that he’d reached his thirties without a wife or family of his own. And now he was causing unexpected chaos and pain within his brother’s.
As if sensing his thoughts, Amos’s large hand brushed his shoulder. “This is not your fault, bruder.”
“Of course it is.” Jonathan turned back. His brother was dressed to go out for the day, with his hat already on his head. Miriam, Eli, David and Samuel were outside with the horses loading the buggy. Forgiveness felt like a choice his brother and father had decided to make, a gift they’d chosen to give him, and each of them in their own way had slowly been figuring out how to rebuild what had been broken. But Jonathan would never forget that he was the one who’d broken it.
Footsteps creaked on the stairs. He looked up, feeling his breath catch in his throat as he met the gaze of the woman standing one step behind Rosie.
“Celeste.” He crossed the kitchen instinctively. His hands reached toward her. The morning sun illuminated her features. Did she have any idea how beautiful she was? Or what it did to his heart every time she even just walked into the room? Whatever strange attraction he’d felt that first moment he’d stepped through the smoke back at the safe house to reach for her hand to help her to safety had only grown each moment they spent together. The fact he’d be leaving her life in just two weeks tore at his insides in a way he couldn’t begin to understand.
She paused a few steps away from him. Her hand reached for his, and as their fingers brushed it was like, in that moment, everyone else had faded from the room. Her eyes searched his face. “Is everything okay? Mark seemed pretty upset and Rosie said he had a cell phone.”
He let his fingertips linger on hers for a moment, just a few hesitant inches away from taking her hand. Then he let go and slid his hand over the back of his neck.
“Everything’s fine,” he said, willing it so as he spoke the words. “Mark was just worried for his family. He doesn’t trust me and probably doesn’t know whether to even believe the story we told him about who you are and why you’re in witness protection. I don’t blame him.”
“Do you want us to delay our trip?” His brother’s voice jolted Jonathan’s attention back to the kitchen.
“No.” Jonathan shook his head. Amos and Miriam had postponed this day trip to visit a nearby family twice already. He couldn’t keep asking his family to put their entire lives on hold for him. Especially since he’d gotten the impression Miriam’s pregnancy was taking a greater toll on her than she’d been letting on. Amos had already confided in him that she’d been on bed rest for the third trimester of her pregnancy with the twins. It was good for them to go and spend time with friends while they could.
Still Amos hesitated and Jonathan could read the thought in his eyes. “If Mark comes back...”
The words trailed off and Jonathan couldn’t help wondering how many times he’d left his father and brother with that same worry.
“If Mark comes back before you’re home,” Jonathan said, “I’ll speak to him if he wants to talk and give him space if he doesn’t.”
Amos nodded. They went outside. Goodbyes were said, hugs were exchanged and Miriam gave Celeste final instructions on setting the fire and heating the stew for dinner. Then Amos, Miriam, Eli, Rosie, David and Samuel loaded into the buggy and left.
Jonathan and Celeste stood on the front porch and waved them off until the family disappeared from sight. He turned and looked at her. Her long blond hair was tied back under a dark bonnet that framed her face perfectly. The beauty of the light of the winter morning was nothing compared to the simple lines of her face.
“I’m worried about Mark,” she said.
He nodded. “I am, too, but Amos seemed pretty convinced that he didn’t even turn the phone on. We’ve asked my family to take everything we’ve told them about you on faith, without any evidence at all. Maybe that was too much for Mark. Maybe he was hoping that if he looked you up online he’d discover that you really are one of the good guys.”
“Good gals.” Celeste’s correction came so quickly he would’ve laughed if it wasn’t for the very real worry in her eyes.
“Still, I don’t know what to make of the fact that Mark had a secret cell phone,” he admitted.
“Neither do I,” Celeste said. “He seems like a such a great young man. He stepped into action to save my life back at the store. I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if he, Rosie and your whole family hadn’t protected me.”
“Then don’t. Focus on the fact that Amos has faith in Mark.” And let me worry about whether or not my brother is wrong. He stretched out his arm. “Let’s walk.”
“Okay.” The flicker of a smile returned to her lips. He felt her fingers on his sleeve as she looped her hand through his arm and wondered if she had any idea of the impact that even the simplest touch had on him. They stepped off the porch and walked out into the wintery morning together.
What was it about this woman that made his heart race like a teenager’s? No one had ever affected him like this before. He’d taken the biggest risk of his life and let her into his estranged family. And she hadn’t rejected him or judged him. Instead, it was like she’d stood by him as he’d started sweeping up all the broken pieces of his life and putting them back together. Snow glittered and sparkled as it crunched under their feet. Bright turquoise-blue sky spread above them. The curve of Celeste’s arm fit so perfectly into his it was like it was always meant to be there.
He’d never risked opening his heart for anyone before, and here he’d been overwhelmed by a fierce, protective need to care for her that made him feel both stronger and weaker than he’d ever been. All he knew was he was dreading the day he’d have to say his final goodbye. His eyes rose to the sky.
I don’t even know what to say, Gott. It’s still so hard getting used to talking to You. Just please, make something good of this mess. Bless my family when it’s time to go. Be with Mark and guide his heart. Strengthen me to say goodbye to Celeste. Bring the right man into her life to give her the future I so wish I could...
He sighed, feeling so much more inside him that he couldn’t find the words to say.
“Were you just praying?” Celeste asked after a long moment.
“I was,” he said. “I’ve been praying a lot more recently. It’s hard not to here, especially around my father. He seems to pray constantly. He’s been reminding me how. I never realized how patient a man my father was, or how what I saw as a refusal to talk to me when I was younger was just him feeling lost in his worries about my mother’s declining health and then her death. He says God worked in his heart slowly over time after my mother died and I left, chipping away at his stubbornness and teaching him patience. Part of me thinks he’s always been that way, underneath it all. He was always very patient with my mother.”
He ran his hand slowly over his jaw.
“You do that a lot,” she said. “It’s like you’re trying to stoke the beard that’s no longer there.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Yeah, I do miss the beard. But Amish men don’t grow beards until they’re married.”
“You could always grow one and
say it was part of your cover. We could say your wife is back on your other farm taking care of your children.” There was a lightness in her voice that made him realize she’d meant it as a joke. But he felt himself frown. No, he couldn’t. Didn’t she see that? He couldn’t pretend to be with another woman, even an imaginary one, while he had feelings for her. Celeste laughed. “Too bad you didn’t think to create a cover story where we were married. Then you could’ve grown yours out like your brother and father.”
He stopped short, pulled his arm away and turned toward her.
“Don’t,” he said. “Don’t joke about that.”
“I’m sorry.” The smile dropped from her lips as quickly as it had appeared. “I was just joking. But don’t people create cover relationships when they’re in WITSEC?”
Yes, they did. But the point was that he wasn’t about to pretend for one moment he had a relationship with her. He wouldn’t—he couldn’t—and he didn’t even know how to explain why.
Her hand brushed his arm. Her eyes searched his. “Jonathan? Tell me what’s wrong. You look upset. If I’ve insulted you somehow by implying you’d ever pretend to be in a relationship with me, I’m sorry.”
That snapped his eyes back to her face. This again. Celeste’s nagging doubts that despite all evidence on the contrary she wasn’t worth much and was certainly nothing special.
“You think you insulted me?” he asked. “Are you kidding? Any man would be proud to stand beside you and call you his wife—even if it was just a cover story to fool the criminals on your tail.”
He shook his head. How did she not get it? His mind flashed back to the conversation they’d had when they’d pulled up to the diner and he’d realized that she had no idea how truly special she was. And now that he’d had a glimpse of her curious and brilliant mind, and her deeply caring heart, it was impossible to the point of infuriating that she didn’t realize that about herself. Well, he might not be able to be the man of her dreams, but at least he could let her know that she was worth so much more than she’d been led to believe by the creeps who had trolled her life.
“Celeste?” He turned and grabbed both of her hands in his. His cell phone buzzed in his pocket alerting him to a text message. No, he could afford one second to ignore it. “You’re extraordinary. You hear me? You’re a beautiful, brilliant and kindhearted woman who deserves more than a pretend relationship, especially with a man like me.”
He watched as her lips parted in surprise, and he jumped in quickly before her beautiful lips could form words.
“I know this isn’t the kind of thing someone in my position should ever say to a witness they’re protecting,” he said. “Not to mention it might seem doubly ridiculous considering we only met a couple of weeks ago. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you, just once, that you’re amazing, Celeste. You’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met, and with every moment I spend with you, I see more clearly that you’re beautiful inside and out. And if you weren’t in WITSEC and if we didn’t both know we only have just two weeks left in each other’s lives, then I would tell you that you’ve already touched my heart and I would very much like the opportunity to get to know you better and see where this could lead. Not that I don’t think you deserve someone far better than me.”
Celeste’s mouth opened wider, but no words came out. Then she bit her lower lip. Everything inside him willed her to say something and break the awkward silence following his admission.
The phone in his pocket buzzed again with another text message. He had to check it.
“Jonathan, I...”
His phone started to ring. He dropped her hands and stepped back. “Hello!”
“Marshal Mast? It’s Chief Deputy Hunter.” The familiar voice was clear and strong. “I need you to bring Celeste in immediately.”
FOURTEEN
Celeste watched Jonathan’s face as he listened to whatever his boss was telling him. Her heart was still racing from the words he’d said just moments ago, and now, before she could even begin to wrap her mind around it, there’d been an emergency call.
She pressed her hand against her chest, feeling her heart beat against her palm. Never, in her whole life, had she imagined that a man like Jonathan would ever say those kinds of things about her. Did he have any idea how much she admired and respected him? How very attractive she found him? Or how much it had meant to her that a family as amazing as his had accepted her with open arms?
“Okay. Understood. We’ll check in again once we’ve cleared Hope’s Creek.” He hung up the phone. Then he looked down at Celeste. “Dexter Thomes’s lawyer filed an emergency appeal. Someone leaked that you thought you’d seen him out of jail, and they’re trying to use that to say that you might not be a cognitively reliable witness. The judge has agreed they can call you in for questioning.”
In other words, Dexter Thomes’s lawyers were going to use the fact that a criminal who looked like him had come after her to prove she was nuts and didn’t know what she was talking about. A shiver spread through her limbs that had nothing to do with the wintery cold. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“But I’m not ready!” she said. “I’ve barely made a dent on the data. I mean, I’ve isolated some birth dates, but I don’t know what to make of them. I was counting on having another two weeks. Plus, I promised Miriam I’d have dinner ready for them when they got home tonight. How soon do we have to leave?”
“Right now,” he said. “I mean, we can talk quickly for a few more minutes if it helps get your head around things. Ten tops. Then we have to head back to the house, get changed back into Englisch clothes, pack up and go.”
“We’ll come right back, right?” She tried to convince her lips to smile. There was no way this was as bad as it sounded. There had to be a glimmer of hope, a silver lining, somewhere. “After all, Miriam and I are supposed to be having a quilting lesson tomorrow. And I promised the twins I’d help them name the barn kittens.”
Her attempt to lighten the mood fell flat as she saw the sadness move across his face.
“We won’t,” he said. “I’m sorry, but this is it for this cover story.”
He couldn’t be saying what she thought he was saying. This was so much more than a cover story. This was a family. This was more happiness than she’d ever known and a glimpse of a life more wonderful than she’d ever dared hope for.
“But what about saying goodbye?”
“There is no time for goodbyes. I’m sorry. We’ll leave a note, of course. We have no way of contacting Amos and Miriam, and we can’t just hang around at the farmhouse waiting for them. We don’t have the time. Karl and Stacy will meet us just outside Philadelphia. The four of us will stay in a hotel under assumed names. Tomorrow you’ll testify at the emergency appeal. Then you’ll continue on to your new cover life in Pittsburgh.”
The fact he’d said “you” not “we” hit her even harder than the knowledge these were her final moments living as the Amish.
“Am I still going to be reassigned to another marshal?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“Am I going to be saying goodbye to you tomorrow?” she pressed. “Is this our last day in each other’s lives?”
“I don’t know.” Jonathan’s voice cracked, a pain moving through it that seemed to call to the ache inside her own chest. Then she felt the warmth of Jonathan’s hands on her shoulders. He pulled her closer. “But here’s what I do know. I know that I have faith in you. I know that you’re going to be great. I know you’re going to get up on that stand tomorrow and convince everyone that Dexter Thomes is Poindexter and you identified the right man. And then you’re going to walk out of that courtroom, head held high, knowing you’ve done everything you could do. I know that, no matter what happens next, you’re going to have an amazing life.”
She turned her face toward
him, feeling dozens of words she’d never say cascade through her mind like text rolling rapidly down her computer screen. What kind of life could she possibly have if it meant never seeing him again? He had no idea what his confidence in her meant to him or just how hard it had hit her heart moments ago, when he said that if circumstances were different he’d have wanted a future with her.
There’s nothing my heart wants more than a future with a man like you.
No. Not a man like you. You, Jonathan.
You and only you.
“You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met,” he said. “You’re so smart, so strong and capable of so much. You just need to have the courage to see who you really are, step out in faith and be that person you were made to be.”
Well, she didn’t feel brave, she didn’t feel strong and she had no idea who she was meant to be. But she knew that any second now his hands would leave her shoulders, they’d head back to the farmhouse to pack, this moment alone with Jonathan would be over and she might never get another one like it in her life. Her heart quickened, like she was standing on the edge of a diving board waiting to take the plunge, or like it had in the moment she’d decided to put everything on the line to pursue Poindexter online.
She took a deep breath, stood up on her tiptoes and slid her arms around his neck.
“I don’t know how to say what I want to tell you right now,” she said. “I know we’ve only got seconds, and I’m more than a little afraid of saying this all wrong. I really like you, Jonathan. I like you so very much. And I really wish this time we’ve had together here didn’t have to end.”
His eyes darkened. “Me, too.”
She risked taking another step toward him and found herself standing on the tips of his boots. He smiled. Then she felt his hands slide down her back. He pulled her into his chest. She stretched up onto the very tips of her toes. He bent his face down toward her. They kissed. Their lips brushed over each other and settled there as if they were made to be together.
Amish Hideout (Amish Witness Protection Book 1) Page 14
