I do hate how weak I am, though. Trent is right, Castor has broken me. I can barely stand on my own or hold my ground without needing Landon’s aid. That’s not how a Luna is supposed to be. I am supposed to be strong for my pack. For my children.
Landon sets me gently on the bed as if he’s scared I’d break. I watch him as he pulls the blankets over me, tucking me in. I grab onto his hand, knowing he wants to go back to torturing Castor. But I need him here with me. “Send Mason,” I whisper, tugging on his hand so he can lay down beside me.
Landon doesn’t argue. He slides in beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist to hold me close. As my back touches his bare chest, I am brought back to the cell.
He places his belt around my neck, pulling hard, so I am lifted off the floor and pressed against his chest as he shoves himself into me.
I scream, not in pain but in pure disgust. My heart breaks as Landon roars, thrashing against his neck collar. Tears roll down his cheeks as his eyes glow blue.
“No! Don’t watch, Landon!” I shout.
Castor chuckles behind me, leaning forward to place a kiss on my neck. “Watch me as I mark her, Landon.” I thrash against him.
“No!” Landon yells. Castor wraps his arms around my waist, stilling my actions as he sinks his teeth into the junction of my neck.
I cringe, jumping out of Landon’s arms. I sit at the edge of the bed, my body shaking with fear. I have never felt so dirty. I needed another shower. I’ve taken seven showers since I’ve been back, needing to get the remains of Castor off me. I get out of bed, stumbling a little as my legs shake.
“Lana…”
“I just need to shower,” I tell Landon.
“You’ve already showered five times today,” he says, walking over to grab my shoulders gently. I tear away from him.
“I just need to shower!” I scream, storming into the bathroom where I slam the door and run the water. I lean against the bathroom sink as the water warms up, tears rolling down my cheeks.
He’s with me. Even though he’s locked away and I’m safe with Landon, he’s still with me. He always will be. I look in the mirror, tearing off my clothes as I start to feel claustrophobic. I place a hand on my scarred stomach, wondering if there really is the devil’s spawn inside of me. I pray to the Moon Goddess that Jesse and I weren’t, in fact, impregnated by the monster.
I step into the shower, feeling the warm water cascade down on me, washing away the filth that consumes me.
Jesse? I call out to her.
Yes?
Do you find it hard to sleep beside Mason? I ask.
She doesn’t respond for a long while, and I can feel her pain as if it were my own. I do. But I hide it well. I don’t want Mason to know what Castor did to me. It’s best if he didn’t, she answers. I lower myself until I am sitting in the tub, the water beating down on my back.
I wish I had that liberty. To have Landon completely in the dark. I think half of the damage is hearing my mate scream in agony as he watches it happen. He doesn’t deserve that.
The bathroom door opens, and I look up to see Landon take a seat next to the tub. He rests his arm on the edge, looking at me.
He doesn’t say anything, just sits with me as I cleanse my body. And I am grateful for the company.
“I love you, Lana,” he whispers. His words tug at my heartstrings.
“Will we ever be the same?” I ask. His mouth takes the form of a frown as tears roll down his cheeks. He reaches over and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
Landon shakes his head. “I don’t think so, baby.” I let out a sob, placing my head on my knees. Landon runs his fingers up and down my back. “Castor broke you, Lana. And I am going to work every day for the rest of my life, trying to put you back together. But no. Our lives are changed forever. We will never be able to live without remembering what happened.”
I turn my head to look over at him. “But we’ll always love each other.” Landon offers me a soft smile.
“We will always love each other,” he confirms.
Chapter 28
Lana
March 20, 2014
Today is the day Castor dies.
Today is the day Landon executes him.
Landon is going to shift into his powerful white wolf, and in one lethal blow, he is going to tear Castor’s throat out.
It’s a painful, gruesome death. It is worthy of Castor, however.
I stand at the bottom of the staircase, watching as Jesse, Jenny, Mason, Trent, Sarah, Natalie and Landon all converse and eat the breakfast placed before them.
Trent’s eyes are sad, his body tense, yet he watches Natalie with such a protective expression. He’s never going to rest easy, not after what he has seen and what has been done to him. Natalie is so young and innocent; he will fight to keep her away from such cruelty.
Jesse is putting on a good facade. She told Mason all that was done to her were whippings. But she needs to tell him the truth. He needs to look the bastard in the eyes and tell him that he did not win; that he did not take his mate from him.
Landon is still tormented from what he saw. He cries in his sleep; thrashes around. He even wakes up, screaming, coated in sweat. His back is healed; however, it is marred. If one runs their fingers over it, they will find it like the bark of a tree, just not as rough.
I am still haunted by the faceless child that was taken from my womb. I was powerless to stop it. I just sat there as he drove the knife into my stomach and butchered my baby.
Last night, I had the pleasantries of experiencing morning sickness. That bastard got me pregnant, and it only made me sicker.
Anger consumes me as I stare at my family, broken and scattered.
I storm into the kitchen, grabbing vial I had set aside for this moment and place it in the pocket of my jeans. I also grab a large steak knife, slipping it under the back of my jeans and covering the hilt with my shirt.
I walk through the dining room, causing everyone to look at me as I run out of the house. I sprint across the backyard, heading straight to the prison adjacent to the house. I pull open the steel door and run down the steps, past the two guards and right into Castor’s holding cell. He’s chained up by the hands, just as he tied us up.
I deliver a punch to Castor’s face, causing him to laugh. “You think this is funny?” I scream, punching him a few more times. Castor spits out blood, glaring up at me.
“I think it’s pathetic.” I let out a scream as I punch and kick and slap. I let all my pent-up anger escape.
“You sought out to destroy us! You planned to scar us. To impregnate Jesse and me! But I refuse to have your child!” I pull out the vial and take a step back from Castor, smiling. “Watch as I kill it.”
Before I could stop myself or think twice, I place the vial to my lips and gulp down the putrid liquid. Perhaps I’m not smart enough to have the baby aborted, instead; but I had to have him watch.
“You want to be with your child? Well, let me take you to him!” I unsheathe the knife from my jeans only to drive it up, right in between his ribs, so it punctures his lung. I stare into his eyes as he coughs up blood, drawing out the knife.
“Lana!” I hear Landon yell from behind me. Took them long enough to get here. I turn to face Mason.
“Punch him,” I say. Mason holds a confused expression as he looks at Landon and then Jesse. “I said punch him!” I scream. Mason doesn’t refuse, walking up to punch Castor in the gut. “Punch him like you want to kill him.”
Mason looks over his shoulder at me, letting out a sigh. I’m doing you a favor, Blondie.
Mason delivers blow after blow until Castor passes out.
I let out a contented sigh, slumping against Landon as the poison finally gets to me. “What the hell did you do?” Landon yells, running his hands over my body to find the source of the pain. When he reaches my stomach, he gingerly touches where the small baby resides, and I moan in pain.
“I will not have his baby,” I declar
e. Landon’s eyebrows furrow as he scoops me up in his arms, walking us out of prison and to the infirmary.
Landon places me on one of the cots as a pack doctor comes to check on the womb. Landon sits next to me, holding my hand as tear rolls down his cheek.
“Landon…” He kisses my hand, offering me a sad smile.
“It’ll be over today. Once he is dead, it will all be over.” I reach up and place a hand on his cheek.
“It won’t. You will still have the dreams, Trent will still be cold, and Jesse will still be living a lie, and I will never stop blaming myself for our child’s death.” I cry, surprised there are even tears left to shed.
Landon’s body shakes with a sob as he leans forward and rests his head on my chest. I slide my fingers into his hair, holding him close as we cry.
One would think that all this crying was unmanly. But with Landon, I expect nothing else. Landon is the definition of a man. He’s toned and sexy and protective. But even a man has a breaking point—and his was losing his child and watching his mate get raped.
No man should have to endure what he went through. I would be concerned if he wasn’t crying as much as he is. He’s broken, just as I am. And as he tries to put me back together, as he claimed, I will be doing the same exact thing. I am the only one who can.
The doctor announced the child dead. After ensuring there is no damage that my wolf won’t be able to heal, he sends me back home.
Even though this child was made from an evil man during a very cruel situation, it was still a part of me. And it’s hard not to mourn the loss of it. But there is no way I could have even carried that child in my belly for another day. The mere thought of it is a betrayal to my own miscarried baby.
“What the hell was that?” Jesse snaps as soon as we exit the infirmary. She is by herself, waiting for us.
“He needed to do that. He would live in regret if he hadn’t.”
“No. He will never know!” Jesse says.
“He has to know, Jess. You have to tell him.” Landon holds tight onto my hand as we continue to walk back to the house. “You have to,” I tell her.
“He’ll hate me,” Jesse whimpers. I stop walking and turn to face her, my eyebrows creasing together into a frown. I pull her into a hug. “He’ll despise me.” I shake my head, giving her a tight squeeze.
“No. That’s not possible.” I step back, putting my hands on her shoulders. “He could never hate you.”
***
Jesse didn’t tell him. I was a little frustrated, but I didn’t know nor understand the situation she was in. Landon was forced to watch. Even if I didn’t want him to know, he did.
But if he hadn’t… Would I have kept it a secret?
I look at Landon and see the pain that consumes him. I see sorrow and defeat. Would he be better off not knowing?
Not telling him would only cause a rift to come up between us. And right now, Landon is the only thing that is keeping me together.
Landon holds me close as we lay in bed, listening as the pack prepares for Castor’s execution. I lift my hand ups and trace the contours of Landon’s clothed chest. He hardly ever sleeps without a shirt now, afraid if he leaves his shirt exposed while he’s vulnerable, he will be whipped again.
“Your touch brings me so much peace,” Landon whispers. I look up to see his eyes shut, looking, in fact, peaceful. I smile softly, closing my eyes as well. Landon draws lazy circles on my back.
As I lay beside him, I think back to Landon’s dream of Mae. Our beautiful golden-haired daughter. Will we ever have that? Will we ever be able to be intimate again, enough to conceive a child?
“We will try,” Landon says. I prop up on an elbow, looking down at him. “Probably not for a while, but we will try.” Landon reaches his hand up, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, offering me a small smile. “Only when you’re ready.”
I nod, leaning forward to give me a short and sweet kiss. Landon lets out a soft moan, giving my waist a gentle squeeze. I roll out of bed and out of his arms, reaching a hand out for him. “Come, let’s kill this son of a bitch.” Landon arches an eyebrow at my language but complies.
We walk down the stairs and out to the backyard where the pack has set up a small stage with a large pole in the middle. I feel my stomach drop. In just a few moments, Castor will be kneeling up there, with his throat being torn open. I wondered if Landon should be the one doing it? I understand he’s seeking out revenge, but will this put his nightmares to rest or just rouse more?
Jenny steps beside me, looking over at me with a fire in her eyes. “I’ve been waiting for this night. He deserves what he has coming.” I was glad Jenny wasn’t held captive and tortured. We need one strong woman here. However, it saddens me to know she will be leaving us soon.
“Where is Tyler?” Landon asks.
“At his home. I told him I just wanted to be with my friends tonight,” Jenny says. I smile, nodding my head in gratitude.
Jesse and Mason come to join us, and I look around for my brother. “Where’s Trent?” I ask.
“Keeping Natalie away,” Mason answers, looking at me warily. He probably thinks I’m psychotic. That I need some sort of professional help.
But you will be coming to thank me one day, Blondie. You will rest easier, knowing you threw in a few punches to the man who raped your mate.
I wrap my arms around Landon, giving him a squeeze as he kisses the top of my head. He then steps out of my arms and walks toward the stage, the same moment the prison doors open, and Castor is brought out.
I am surprised to see all the members of our pack gathering to watch. Even members of the Rose pack have come.
Castor is tied to the pole, his back facing us. Landon stands to the side, glaring down at him. He then shifts into his wolf and bares his teeth. Saliva drips from his canines as he salivates at the thought of killing Castor.
Landon saunters forward, stalking his prey. The hair on his back is standing up, bristling with anger. I watch his claws dig into the wood of the platform they are on. Landon gives his shoulders a small wiggle before he pounces.
He leaps forward with such grace, his mouth closing around Castor’s neck. Just as quickly as he jumped forward, Landon springs back, a large chunk of throat within his grasp.
Blood pours from Castor’s neck and the sputtering sound he makes echoes through our large territory.
Once he grows silent, I am met with overwhelming peace. Landon instantly shifts back, accepting pants from a Gamma before he walks towards me. I brush the blood from his lips before I meet him in a passionate kiss.
The packs cheer; at the death of Castor or at us, I don’t know. I’m betting it’s on Castor’s death. But I ignore them, grabbing onto Landon’s curly hair and tug tightly, kissing him with urgency.
“You did as you promised.” I pant, resting my forehead against his. “You promised to save all the women from Castor’s cruelty. To avenge me.” I pull back to place my hands on either side of Landon’s face, rubbing my thumbs along his cheek bones. “It is done.”
Epilogue
Lana
April 16, 2021
I walk down the stairs, seeing Landon already sitting at the head of the table. Blondie is sitting at his right with Jesse beside her mate. I smile.
She told him. I knew she would, but I was surprised how long it took her. She waited three years after Castor’s death. She was never impregnated by Castor; she was able to keep it a secret.
Mason approached me one day and embraced me in a hug. I didn’t understand why he was doing it, but he was one of my greatest friends. It was later that he thanked me for what I had done three years ago. When I ordered him to beat up Castor. “You knew, and you knew I’d never live with myself for not seeking some sort of revenge. You’re a great friend, Lana.”
Jenny is in the Prowler pack now. She is living with Tyler, and they have a child of their own. His name is Duke. Jenny stops by nearly every week. She has remained to be one of my closest frie
nds.
Natalie is now nineteen. Last year, she recognized Trent to be her mate. She knew all along, so around the age of sixteen, they began dating. They fell in love with each other before they were even mates.
Trent never reopened to me. He still looks at me with sorrow and guilt. Once he found out about how Castor sliced open my stomach to kill my baby, he regretted what he had earlier, but he never changed. He is kind and sensitive to Natalie, a friend to Landon but when he looks at me, his mood drops. I know he blames himself for what has happened. But it doesn’t lessen the pain. Trent was the person I always relied on as a kid.
Landon’s nightmares slowly seemed to lessen. He rarely wakes up in the middle of the night, sweaty and in a panic. But when he does, it scares the living daylights out of him. In his panic, he loses his wolf and is only welcomed to complete darkness. He thrashes around, trying to find where he is as he screams out Castor’s name with such venom that I almost believe he’s in the room with us.
I, on the other hand, have never forgotten how terrible of a mother I was to not just one but two of my children. I ran into a fight with a child in my womb… Even though I did not know I was pregnant, I still carry that guilt. I was selfish, needing to make sure Landon lived and lost the life of our baby. And even though the second child was Castor’s, it was still mine as well. I look at Landon every day, and he is the only reason that I don’t tear myself up about what I did. Having that baby would have broken him in ways I couldn’t imagine. A male wolf cannot accept the child of another male. It is in their DNA to reject them; but being the person Landon is, he would live every day in pain to care for that child.
That is the only comfort I have that I made the right choice. I was selfish and childish. All I wanted was to see the pain in Castor’s eyes. I couldn’t let him win. He sought out to destroy me. To destroy my friends and my family. He knew the only way to tear Landon and I apart was to get me pregnant. The sick bastard nearly won.
Landon senses me and looks over his shoulder, a smile on his lips. I can’t help but grin like an idiot, walking over to give him a kiss.
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