by Dawes, Casey
Having seen plenty of buckle bunnies at the rodeo play the same game, Bridget was pretty sure the pregnancy never existed. Besides, she’d never seen either of them with a kid.
“Was she pregnant?”
“No.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Dad backed down. Lucy and I moved to a small apartment in Dillon. She hated it. I tried to get her to take courses, but everything bored her. Everything except spending money we didn’t have, and flirting with other guys.” His head dropped to his hands. “I never found her with anyone else at college, but in my gut, I know there were others.”
He lifted his face and looked at her. Misery created furrows around his eyes and mouth.
“After a few months, she told me she’d had a miscarriage, but when I wanted to take her to the doctor, she told me the truth. There’d never been a baby.”
“It must have been hard.”
“Yeah.”
“What broke you up? “He stood up, walked to the other end of the porch, and leaned against the post. “My dad had a heart attack shortly before I graduated. My parents begged me to come home and work at the bank to provide him a relief from some of the stress.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “They’re my parents, Bri. Right or wrong, I owe them something.”
She drew her legs up, resting her boots on the bottom of the chair. Even in the lean years, she’d always sent her parents some of her winnings. It was how things worked in Montana.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
His posture relaxed a bit. “The funny thing is, I discovered I actually like it. What I’m doing is helping people get homes and build businesses. Since the recession, credit’s been tight. I’ve educated myself on other options, like the one I showed you. I love Willow Creek. I want people to succeed.”
“And Lucy?”
“I eventually came home early and found her in bed with a cowboy from over by the divide. I moved out that night. The divorce took another year.” He stared at the floor.
Her heart ached for him. She untangled her legs, stood, and went to him. “You tried, Tom.” She put her hand on his arm.
She felt for anyone who had to go through hard times to get to where they belonged. That the pain belonged to her childhood best friend made it more poignant.
Would he have the same understanding if he heard my story?
She wasn’t sure.
He stirred. Before she was aware of his intent, he gathered her in his arms and held her close. He propped his head on hers. “You were the best of us, Bri. I didn’t know how much until I lost you. I loved you then, and I love you now.”
He released her enough to lower his head and take her lips with his.
It was no longer the kiss of a boy, but it contained all the familiarity of the teenage love they’d shared. She returned his kiss, and the small flame in her heart grew a little bigger.
She let herself indulge in the fantasy that the prom debacle had never had occurred. Her descent into booze and sex on the rodeo circuit was only a nightmare.
But it wasn’t.
She pulled away. He’d hate her if he ever found out. Better to leave things as they were.
“We shouldn’t do this, Tom.”
He didn’t let her go. “Why not? I’m done with Lucy, no matter what she thinks. Unless there’s someone in your life I don’t know about.” His forehead creased. “Was that what Lucy was talking about?”
She pulled away and shook her head. “There’s no one else, Tom.” She crossed to the door. “But I need to make it on my own for a while. I forgive you for the past. That will have to be enough for now. I don’t love you anymore.”
He strode to her. “You and I both know that’s not true.”
“It’s true enough. Go take care of your horse, Tom. I’ve got work to do.” She opened the screen door and went inside, gritting her teeth to prevent the pain in her heart from howling through her lungs.
****
For the next two weeks, Bridget made it a point to be away or busy when Tom showed up to take care of his horse. Two more students signed up, and a full stable had her going from morning to night. She sent off the application for the loan and crossed her fingers.
One afternoon Tom arrived early, leaving her without excuses.
“Come riding with me, Bri,” he said. “It’s the longest day of the year. Remember how we always rode as far as we could into the mountains on summer solstice? Drove our parents nuts. They were sure we were up to no good.”
She laughed at the memory. Instead of indulging in passionate kisses, they’d raced each other, competed on identifying the flowers cloaking the meadows in an impressionistic painting, and dreamt about their futures. They’d both been late bloomers to what went on between boys and girls.
“Please, Bri. You need a break. Nothing will happen. It will be just like the old days.”
Suddenly, she was tired of holding herself in. She wanted to run, jump, and be free. The person she’d been a decade ago came bubbling to the surface. “Race you to the bend in the creek!” She dashed from the porch to the barn and pulled Recovery’s saddle from the rail.
Thudding footsteps told her Tom was right behind her.
Lightness and laughter popped around her as she shed the mantle of gloom she’d worn for too long. Her head start and barrel racing training had her out of the barn and on her way to their old picnic spot by the river well ahead of Tom.
Recovery’s hooves pounded beneath her, and the wind billowed her untied hair behind her. The iron vise released its constriction from her chest. She took in a lungful of mountain air and celebrated freedom. No matter what happened in her future, she’d unshackled herself from the demons who’d tried to drown her.
Could the opening of her heart rekindle the love she and Tom had once shared? On a summer solstice evening, anything was possible. It was time to grab life with both hands.
She reached the creek and slid off the saddle.
Tom burst into the cottonwood grove a few seconds later. He dismounted, fished a dollar from his wallet, and handed it to her.
She smiled, pleased he’d remembered the betting ritual they’d had when they’d raced horses as teens.
He held out his hand.
She took it. Hands clasped, they threaded the rough-barked trees to the creek bank. Once there, the horses dipped their heads and drank. Tom pulled her against his chest, and she leaned back into his warmth, aware of the rapid beat of his heart.
Across the creek, the green hills rose to kiss the blue sky. Pink-tinged clouds flowed from the mountains, tumbling after one another in a race to the prairie of Eastern Montana.
Contentment wrapped around her. When Tom turned her toward him, she melted into his arms and let him kiss her. She lost herself in the moment, savoring the sweet pressure of his lips on hers.
A moment later he released her. “I love you, Bri. I always have. Will you ever be able to love me again?”
If she was honest, she’d never stopped, but there was still too much between them. He didn’t know about her crazy times. Would he still love her if he did?
She was going to need to tell him soon, before Floozy Lucy decided to wreck her life again. Would he understand?
“Well?” he said.
Anything was possible. “Maybe.”
His smile took in his entire face. “I’ll take it.”
Afraid of moving too fast, she slipped under his arm and mounted Recovery. “Shall we follow the creek?”
“Sure. Like old times.”
They turned the horses upstream, riding quietly for fifteen minutes.
“Will you stay in banking forever?” she asked.
He shrugged. “For now, it’s good. It’s providing me enough to recover from my divorce.” He smiled.
“And it’s giving me stud fees for Willow Cat.” He glanced at her. “I haven’t given up my dream, Bri. I have to show you my plan. I’ve figured out the bloodlines I want, how to acquire the horses I need, and ultimately build the ranch I’ve envisioned. It’s going to take longer than I’d hoped, but I’m going to do it.”
Hope fanned the flame in her heart. It was the same dream they’d shared when they were younger, except in those dreams they’d shared the ranch and their lives.
She looked at the man she’d loved and found his eyes on hers, a bittersweet expression on his face.
He remembered, too.
****
“I’m sorry to hear you’re withdrawing your daughter from her lessons, Mrs. Anderson. Can you tell me why?”
“We feel the situation at the Lazy J would be more appropriate.” The tension in the woman’s voice told Bridget there was more to the story.
“Is there anything else?”
“No. Not really. My husband will be by Saturday to pick up the horse and tack.”
“I’ll have it ready for him. Are you sure you won’t reconsider, Mrs. Anderson?”
“Yes. Quite sure.” The tension had turned to frost.
Bridget hung up the phone and sank to the kitchen chair. Three students and two boarders had canceled in the last week. Good thing the loan people had done their inspection before the withdrawals.
But she wouldn’t need an arena anymore. Not without students.
Had Lucy carried through with her threat? How had she known she and Tom were moving closer together? Bridget had turned down all of Tom’s invitations to have a meal, or even coffee. She didn’t want to take the risk until she had a chance to tell him about her past. She wanted to cuddle in the warmth of possibility before she destroyed it with a cold dash of reality.
A timid knock moved her from her chair.
A tall woman with curly blonde hair and sky-blue eyes stood at her doorstep. Melody Bennett.
“Hi, Melody! How are you? Do you want to come in?”
“Thank you.”
Bridget led the way back to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
Melody nodded.
“Sorry we didn’t get much chance to talk at the dance. How have you been? What have you been doing?”
“Working on my father’s ranch.”
“Hard work.”
“Yeah.”
Why had the woman shown up? She wasn’t here for a social visit. She could barely string two words together.
Bridget placed a cup in front of Melody and then sat down with her own.
Melody added a dose of sugar and cream from the containers on the table.
Bridget clenched her teeth.
Melody looked up, her eyes as wary as a doe’s. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to talking to people I don’t know very well. Especially about things that are…” She twisted the spoon in her hands. “Not generally talked about.”
Bridget took a deep breath. “I suspect you have something you’ve heard about me. Something not very nice.”
Melody nodded. “It’s just you were always kind to me in high school. We didn’t know each other real well, but you always smiled at me.” She used the spoon to trace figure eights on the table.
This time Bridget waited her out.
“My mother gets her hair done at the Silver Clips. She was sitting next to one of your student’s mothers—Mrs. Anderson.” Melody’s voice gained strength as she spoke. “Mrs. Anderson was telling her stylist about you. Said she’d heard from Mrs. Browdy how you’d created a real scandal while you were doing rodeo.” Melody looked up briefly, then stared back down at her coffee. “She said you were drunk all the time and sleeping with anyone you could.”
The spoon clunked on the table. Melody picked up the cup and took a gulp of coffee.
Bridget put her hands together as if she was praying and rested her chin on her thumbs. Floozy Lucy had done it. Wrecked everything she’d worked hard to achieve since the day she woke up and decided to get sober.
“Anyway,” Melody said. “My mother was angry about it. She told Mrs. Anderson that no matter what happened on the circuit, you were always a strong young woman who cared about others. You’d come back home to make good, and that should be enough for anyone.” Melody gave a wan smile. “She told me she also added that a woman who goes to church regularly like Mrs. Browdy does shouldn’t be spreading gossip.”
Bridget chuckled. It warmed her to have women who weren’t afraid to speak their minds in her corner. Churches were often breeding grounds for the exchange of neighborly news. Most of the time the intent was charitable, but in the hands of a vindictive woman, the knowledge could be as lethal as a carving knife.
Touching Melody’s hand with her fingers, she said, “Thank your mother for defending me. That was very nice.”
Melody frowned. “Lucy was always a nasty person—manipulative and mean. After you left everyone realized she stole Tom from you with her lies. My mother thinks she even used her father to get what she wanted. She needs to get what’s coming to her.”
The vindictive words coming from the sweet-faced woman startled Bridget. There was obviously more to Melody Bennett than met the eye.
Bridget had never heard the rumors because she’d been so focused on her sobriety and her ranch she hadn’t had much time for social visits.
Still, the damage was done. The time had come to tell Tom the truth.
“Thanks for coming, Melody. It’s good to see you again. Maybe we could get together some time again in happier circumstances.”
Melody smiled. “I’d like that.”
****
Once Melody left, Bridget mucked out stalls. Physical labor distilled her anger and frustration to a manageable emotion, enough to be able to ignore Jack’s siren song. Her muscles ached when she was finished, sending her to a long, hot shower. When she was done, she stood in front of her closet.
Little choice to wear to her execution. Her flowered blouse, clean jeans, and boots would have to do. She paid particular attention to her make-up. From the bottom of her jewelry box, she dug out the tiny silver earrings Tom had given her on their last Valentine’s Day together.
She walked out on her porch and turned toward the mountains, praying for the strength to say what needed to be said without giving up on herself. With as much peace as she could, she climbed into her truck and headed to town.
It was nearly closing time when she got to the bank. Her hands twitched with nervousness, but she put as much confidence in her stride as she could.
Melody’s aunt smiled at her. “How are you doing, dear? Tom’s available if you want to see him.”
Lucy wasn’t the only one who knew she and Tom were together again. From the sympathetic expression on Abigail Bennett’s face, the older woman also knew the rumors that Lucy was spreading around town like manure.
Bridget grinned as confidently as she could. “Thank you.” She walked to Tom’s door and pushed it open.
“Bridget! This is a surprise!” He stood and crossed the room. “You look beautiful. Have you finally relented and agreed to have dinner with me?”
The air crackled between them.
She took a deep breath. “I thought we could. Do you have time tonight?”
He looked at his desk. “Give me ten minutes.”
“I’ll meet you at Cob’s.”
He frowned at her. “Is everything okay, Bri? You look worried.”
“No. No. Everything’s fine.” Or at least it will be for the next half hour.
Fear tightened her stomach as she walked the short block to the bar. When she stepped into the bar, she noticed the bartender at the close end of the long wooden surface. “Hi, Anna. Is there a band tonight?”
“Not until nine.
”
Bridget would be long gone by then. “Can I have a table toward the back, then?”
“Sure. Will Tom be joining you?”
Darn it. Everyone knew.
“Yes.”
Anna handed her two menus.
Bridget walked to the table closest to the small stage that hosted a DJ most nights. She chose the seat facing the door. No need for anyone else to see the disappointment and hatred on Tom’s face once she told him about her past.
The bar on the side wall was already lined with patrons when Tom walked in. Her heart beat a little faster as he walked toward her. If only life had turned out differently.
Before he sat down he leaned over her and kissed her. “I love you, Bridget. I’m glad you’re ready to let the town know.”
Megan came to their table with two waters. “Anything else to drink?”
“I’ll have a beer,” Tom said and looked at Bridget.
“Coke,” she said.
Megan left.
“You don’t drink.”
She shook her head. It was time, before they ordered food and before the bar filled with summer tourists and Friday night couples looking for a burger.
“I…I had some problems with drinking when I was on the circuit.” She stared at him as fear tightened her throat. “In fact, I was pretty much a mess out there for a long time.” She looked at the table. She couldn’t stand to see the pain in his eyes as she told him the next part. “I…um…slept around a lot, too. For too long I’d wake up in the morning next to a stranger with no memory of how I got there. Everyone knew I was an easy lay. A few shots of Jack Daniels was all it took.”
Her lower lip trembled as she looked up at him.
His face revealed nothing, but his lips parted as if he was about to say something.
Over his shoulder she caught a flash of pink. Lucy walked into the bar hand in hand with a man who looked like he didn’t know which side of a horse to mount.
That was a problem with a small town with one restaurant—meeting the same people over and over again. Somehow she needed to get free of Lucy.
