She cried out, her body clamping down on his. He soared to the end. A loud groan rumbled through his chest as she rippled around him, pushing him over the edge.
Chapter 18
How did one break up with a girlfriend after a night of fabulous sex?
One night.
One perfect night.
So perfect Doug had let himself believe, for a short time, that Sandi was perfect, too. Perfect for him. Passionate. So loving, he lost himself in her sweetness and never wanted to be found. Then with the light of day came reasoning. And the sense he thought he’d lost the night before.
Was she that good of an actress . . . or was he that stupid?
After his last patient, he’d stayed late at the office. Burying himself in paperwork failed to save him from his thoughts. Or his memories. God, he was tired and weary. Right down to his bones. He was thirty-four; not old by any means, but he no longer felt the urge to drink or party into oblivion. During his residency, he’d burned the wild side out of his system.
Although, last night he proved he still had the desires of a nineteen-year-old.
At this stage in his life, he was ready to settle down. He wasn’t in the market for a one-night-stand. He ignored the little voice that kept nagging Sandi could be the one. Images of her naked body haunted him still. Her soft skin, her scent. The lingering aroma that threatened to choke him, even now. He’d never experienced anything so dramatic or as memorable.
Indecision tore at him. His tortured mind refused to give him the clarity he needed.
He had to end this.
Dusk had settled and there was a hint of snow in the air. He tucked his scarf into the neck of his coat, then closed and locked the office door. He still needed Sandi for the charity gala.
I’m breaking up with you. By the way, the sex was great.
One explanation after another recycled in his brain. No matter which version of ‘we’re through’ he came up with, it ranked right up there with ‘I’m a jerk’. This pretend bargain intimated a real breakup. What had begun as a vague arrangement now smacked too close to realism.
He knew he couldn’t postpone seeing her any longer.
On shaky legs, he summoned his nerve and knocked on Sandi’s storm door.
When the inside door opened, the atmosphere charged, catching him off guard. Seeing her knocked the breath from his lungs. He remembered her lying on rumpled sheets, her hair spread out around her, a dazed expression of ecstasy. He couldn’t forget. He’d never forget.
Damn. Did she have to be so beautiful?
“Would you like to come in?” Her voice shook with a hint of nerves.
He hadn’t seen her or called since he’d left her sleeping. He must look like an idiot, standing mute on her doorstep.
“Thanks.” He tugged at the scarf around his neck, then tossed it and his coat on a chair.
“Would you like something to drink?”
Bourbon? The whole bottle.
“No. Thank you.”
“It’s cold out. I can put on some coffee if you’d like to warm up.” Her face flamed, and he wondered if she might be thinking about him warming her up. Last night they hadn’t needed anything but each other to chase away the chill.
“I’m good. I’m wondering if we could talk.”
“Of course.” Her words were simple, but he sensed her unease.
As she crossed to the couch, Doug tried to ignore the gentle sway of her hips. He yearned to reach out and grab her. Drag her to him and make sweet love to her again.
Sweet, erotic, intense . . . He’d never wanted a woman more.
He shook himself, knowing what would happen with just one taste of her mouth. Keeping a good bit of distance between them, he sat on the couch beside her. After last night, he didn’t trust himself. Sandi oozed sex appeal. He hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself, so he’d taken her to bed. She’d have a heart attack if she knew he wanted to do it all over again.
She worried her bottom lip. Damn. That wasn’t helping him keep his mind on what he’d set out to do.
“I came to apologize.” His voice sounded gruff to his own ears.
Her eyes flashed confusion. After sneaking out this morning and not calling her all day, he realized he was being an ass.
“Our bargain was doomed from the beginning. I should never have put you in this position.” Hours of rehashing his words, and he still didn’t know what to say.
“What position is that?”
“Asking you to be my girlfriend for the sake of saving my own hide. It was unfair to you. As intense as all this has been, I am sorry.”
“What exactly are you apologizing for?”
By the look in her eyes, she assumed he regretted last night. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Maybe they didn’t have a future together, but he could not regret making love to the most giving woman he’d ever known. He’d never experienced such emotion while having sex.
“For putting you in this position. I should never have asked you to pretend, lie, or be a participant in this farce.”
“Why now?”
Her question surprised him. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you apologizing now?”
“You have to admit, last night put a different spin on our . . . relationship. Uh, as a pretend couple.” He raked a hand through his hair. Open mouth, insert foot. He couldn’t remember being this nervous during his medical boards.
“Because we slept together.” Her fingers twisted in her lap. How had they come to this? They were so uncomfortable around each other; he’d rather be fighting.
“I stepped over the line. It shouldn’t have happened.” Christ. He was making a mess of this. “It wasn’t just a . . .” A what? A one-night stand?
“Wasn’t what?” The nerves were gone. Now she looked angry.
~ ~ ~
Sandi choked back her tears and drew strength from her anger. “You can’t even say it. Well, I will. It was a one-night stand.”
One fabulous night.
“It happened,” she continued, expressing her anger. “It was sex. Name the elephant in the room.”
Doug’s eyes grew wide. She’d shocked him. Good.
“It was more than sex.” His voice quaked.
Was he telling her what he thought she wanted to hear?
“Emotions were all over the place,” he continued. “We’d been to a funeral. Women get weepy at funerals.”
Was he blaming her? She’d known what she was getting into. Her instincts had told her to stay away from this man. “I lost my composure. You comforted me.” Pride filled her as she managed a tone of normalcy in her voice.
“It was good. Great.”
Did he think it helped by embellishing the act?
“I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.” His pleading eyes tugged on her heart strings. She needed to stay tough.
“We both have strong opinions,” she said, unable to meet his eyes. “You don’t even like me, I can’t imagine how we ended up in bed.”
“You have to admit, we have a pretty strong physical attraction. And who said I didn’t like you?”
She gave him a glare. “All we do is rub each other the wrong way.” Okay, maybe bad word choice. They’d rubbed each other pretty good last night. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “I agreed to your plan. Stop analyzing and let’s just get on with this.”
By his surly expression, she’d surprised him again. “All right. I think we should end the bargain. I never should have—”
“Stop already,” she said, holding up one hand. She knew it was coming, knew even before he opened his mouth that he regretted their night together. Ending a relationship that didn’t even exist was absurd. She’d been reckless. T
o continue on this path was foolish. “There is no reason to keep apologizing. I accept your apology. You’re forgiven. I’ll even forgive myself for my moment of insanity.”
His grin took some of the sting out of the situation, although amusement didn’t reach his eyes. “I guess we are officially breaking up. Ending the bargain anyway. Can we still be friends?”
“I cannot believe you said that!” She vaulted to her feet, then turned to him. “Seriously? We were never friends to begin with.”
“We weren’t enemies. We were in a relationship.”
“An affiliation. A bargain.”
“What are you getting upset about? This is not a real breakup, or an actual relationship. It was pretend. Everything we did was a sham.”
She swallowed her gasp and blinked at the sting in her eyes. Everything?
“We can go back to normal.”
Normal? What was normal? Normal was before she met Dr. Douglas Baker. Was he just going to walk away? Get on with his life as though they hadn’t connected?
If he could pretend their night together never happened, then she could too.
“What a relief,” she said, flopping on the couch. “I will no longer have to lie to my friend. My real friend. Although, she may not be, once she learns how I’ve fooled her.”
When Doug kept quiet, she glanced up. His eyebrow was arched and his dark eyes burned with intensity. She looked away so he couldn’t read her thoughts, unwilling to admit the truth.
“Where do we go from here?”
“We should put this foolishness behind us and get on with our lives,” he growled.
“Do I need to remind you how this was your idea?”
“No,” he shot back. “But,” his tone gentled, “I have one more thing to ask.”
How can he ask anything more of me? I’ve given so much. Lost so much. But he doesn’t know that.
“Am I going to like this? Is this another bargain?” She meant it as a joke, but the flexing of his arms made her vigilant.
“The charity gala at the hospital. I’d still like you to go with me.”
Hell to the no.
“If you say no, I’ll understand. But I’ve already planned on you being by my side.”
“But that was before.”
“Everyone expects you to be there. With me. The town, the doctors, the AMH board. Distinguished members will be attending. Doctors from all over the state are coming. Some of my former wealthy patients who are happy to donate will be there, and they want to meet you.”
Potential donors. Money for the hospital.
“Why me? I’m not a celebrity.”
“I need someone with your character by my side.”
My character?
“I’d like it to be you. I’ve already mentioned you.”
If she had any hope left, he’d just crushed it. Against her better judgement, she felt her heart weakening. Was she a glutton for punishment? She would attend the hospital charity event whether she went with Doug or not.
“Sheldon and Regina expect—”
She cut him off. “Don’t even go there. I’ve lied to my friends long enough.” His face fell. “However, I will go to the charity event. I may as well go with you.”
“You’re willing to extend the bargain until then?”
Extend the bargain, her misery, her hopes . . .
“After the charity, we’re done.”
He flinched. “I think that might be best.”
Out of sight . . . out of mind.
She seriously doubted it.
~ ~ ~
Sensing a nip in the air, Sandi threw a sweatshirt on before stepping onto her enclosed back porch. She’d done some of her best thinking out here. Already on an emotional roller coaster, melancholy hit her as she recalled numerous times she shared such evenings with her dad. He’d been a morning person, while her mom liked to sleep in. On the few mornings when Sandi rose early, she found her dad on the back porch in his favorite spot, watching the sunrise, and at night, the sunset.
The neighbor’s trees were angled in such a way that they didn’t block the view. They reached tall enough to hide the houses, yet short enough for the mountains to be seen. Sitting on an acre lot, the two-story house sat right in the middle with a flower bed and a garden to the side. She could see a few shadows from the glow of the moon.
She leaned against a post and took a sip of her strong coffee, which would more than likely keep her awake all night. She wouldn’t sleep anyway. Not after her conversation with Doug.
Clearly, he had a different opinion of their night together.
Her face flamed as she remembered the way she’d climbed all over him. The way she’d kissed him back, the way she’d clung to him. To be fair, he’d stimulated and encouraged every response. But did she have to be so . . . what was the word for her wild behavior? Mesmerized? Driven? She’d lost all reason, all thought. Hell, she’d lost her entire self.
The only brainpower engaged in that room had been their awareness of each other, their need for each other. For her, their coming together had been wonderful. Earthshattering. Lying beside him through the night had brought her a sentiment she’d never known before. She’d mistakenly thought Doug had been in tune with her emotions. With his arm around her, she’d curled into him, absorbing his warmth and affection.
Affection?
To him it had been a one-nighter with a woman who meant the same as any other woman he might have picked up off the street. A willing female to warm his bed.
God, she was such a fool. She had only herself to blame. She’d gone into his bargain with her eyes wide open. What made her believe she could sleep with him and remain sensible about it? Because where sex was involved, rational thinking took a back seat.
Why had she agreed to go with him to the charity event? Pride had nothing to do with it. Maybe to be near him, live the fantasy a little while longer. What would be the point of going alone and then watching every move he made, wishing she were by his side?
A twist of fate. A gradual happening, so subtle, she hadn’t seen it coming. A fluke that started like a twang of hunger, then spread to a yearning flame. Her heart had begun to hope. To dream of things outside her boundaries. An intimacy she could not control. If she gave in to her longings now, she could lose her heart.
Time to put on her big girl pants. She could handle one more night of pretending. One night of being close to him without opening herself up to soft feelings and heightened emotions.
Easy to say.
Difficult to do.
Chapter 19
Quite a number of guests turned up for the charity event. Doug took Sandi’s arm and escorted her through the crowd, making introductions as he went. Some people he recognized from the town of Monterey. Others were distinguished doctors, wives, and investors he’d rubbed elbows with in Pittsburg, when he’d been the most sought-after doctor in the country.
Sandi had taken his breath away in her curve-hugging dress. Sequins could not outshine her loveliness. If he’d acted on his instincts, they would have never made it out the door. He couldn’t very well attack the woman after breaking it off, now could he?
So he suffered her nearness, inhaled her coconut fragrance, and willed down his erection. The focus tonight should be on attaining donations for the hospital.
He’d been to more than several of these affairs, too many to count. Although the large ballroom had been decorated to the max, it didn’t hold a candle to the Westin Convention Center or the David Lawrence Riverfront Plaza. If the hospital administrators knew the net worth of some of these guests, there would be fainted bodies littering the floor.
Back in Pittsburg, Doug had mingled socially with the elite, the cream del a cream. As a favor to him, many wealthy investors atte
nded this evening. Their wives lived for causes, so wanting to please the women, their checkbooks would be opened. The night would attest to the success of the hospital.
Name cards were strategically placed on white tablecloths with tables seating ten. He’d consulted with AMH directors, advised them to allow plenty of room between chairs and told them which names should be assigned to which tables. After all, these people were from his old stomping ground.
By nine o’clock everyone took their assigned seats. Champagne flowed freely and several waiters were conveniently close by. Sheldon, Regina, Sandi and Doug occupied a space with a few of AMH’s board members.
Sandi sat beside him while speeches were made. When the meal was served, he diligently kept up with the associates conversation. Finally, the music began.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked Sandi.
She politely accepted, and he followed her to the dance floor, watching her swaying backside. When he’d picked her up earlier, desire and anxiety had pierced his belly, wondering how he was going to get through the evening with her wearing the blue, clinging shrink-wrap she called a dress. Dread clawed at each tension-filled moment. He wanted to punch every man who dared to look at her. His hands itched to grab her and haul her ass out of there. How much was a man supposed to take?
He sucked in a lungful of air, hoping to calm his racing pulse. In seconds he would touch her. Greedy. Gold digger. He desperately searched for any word that might keep his arousal down.
Then he placed his hand to the non-existent back of her dress and felt skin. The breath rushed to his lungs. That wasn’t so bad, but she smelled delicious, which made the blood pound in his temples. He was fighting a losing battle.
“Sorry for the boring conversation,” he managed to get out.
“I wasn’t bored. I may not have understood some of the particular terms, but the discussion was far from boring.”
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