Sandi stared down at the counter, thinking Regina was out of her mind.
“Think about it. You two looked really chummy, and then—”
“Chummy? Nathan made a pass.”
“Not him. You and Doug. You two were all cozy, and I thought, hmmm, they are a couple. Then Nathan danced with you and Doug went all caveman.”
“Caveman?”
Regina waved a hand. “You know what I mean. He acted all territorial when you and Nathan finished. The next thing I knew, you were storming out.”
Sandi remembered the anger fueling her stride.
“I wanted to go after you, but Sheldon stopped me. He reminded me you were a big girl and could take care of yourself. He also said whatever problem was between you two, you could work it out.”
“Remind me to thank Sheldon.”
“Why?”
“For thinking I’m grown up,” she said sarcastically.
“Hmm. I still think you and Doug need to talk.”
“You forget. We did. He ended our relationship, pretend or otherwise.”
“That was before the gala. You both were hiding your feelings. You’ve told me more than once, honesty is the best. No matter what.”
“Regina. We weren’t lying to each other, just to everyone else.”
“Bull crap. You hid your feelings from him. Who’s to say he didn’t do the same thing?”
“You weren’t there when he pushed me away. Many times.”
“Hmm. You have no idea why? There’s got to be a reason.”
“He did mention a woman a while back. Said his co-workers knew her. I figured she was another doctor.”
“I’ll ask Sheldon.”
“You think he’ll rat out his good buddy?”
“He will to me—if he expects to get what he wants.” She laughed, and Sandi joined her.
“You don’t need to explain.”
“Feeling better?”
“Lots. Thanks.” She gave Regina a hug.
“After I get the scoop from Sheldon, we’ll know what we have to work with.”
“We. You don’t need to go out on a limb—”
“Girlfriend. We’re besties. You hurt, I hurt. We’re in this together.”
“What would I do without you to save me from myself?”
“You’ll never have to find out. Besides, you’d do the same for me. Have done. Many times. With your patience and my full steam ahead, we make a perfect team.”
~ ~ ~
God, he could not resent the woman he’d made love to.
Made love.
That’s exactly what it had been: making love. Doug racked his brain, searching for a time when he’d even come close to a sensation like the one he experienced with Sandi.
Beautiful. Astonishing. Passionate. Intense. Powerful. Emotional.
Unforgettable.
Every touch, every moan, had come from his heart. She’d rocked his axis, and he might never set himself right again.
He knew, damn it. He knew what it was like to get his heart stomped on. Why had he allowed it to happen again?
Because Sandi melted under his touch. Her breathless responses gave him an elation he’d never known. Making love to her had been a fulfilling experience with such emotion, such sensation, he almost wondered if he’d dreamed the entire encounter.
Sandi was real. He could still feel her soft skin. Still hear her breathy sighs. Still see her splayed out before him in all her splendor . . . God, she tormented him.
For two weeks he’d wallowed in his own misery by reliving that one perfect night. Why couldn’t he get it out of his mind? He could just marry her, give her fancy trinkets, a big house, whatever she wanted—but how long would it last? How long would it be before she grew tired of him? He had a pretty healthy bank account.
Would she reveal her true colors as soon as the vows were spoken? Make his life a living hell?
What about the hell he lived in now?
A rap sounded just before Sheldon stuck his head around the office door.
“Christ, man. You look like hell.”
Doug dropped his head and fisted his hands in his hair.
Sheldon stepped inside and closed the door. “All right. Out with it.”
Shit.
Miserable and disheartened, he wasn’t ready for Sheldon to craw his ass after the moralizing he’d just given himself. “I’ve got patients.” Doug moved to stand.
“Sit the fuck down.”
Doug stared in shock. He hadn’t heard Sheldon drop the f-bomb since college.
“It’s been two weeks. What are you going to do about this business between you and Sandi?”
“It’s over.”
“Doesn’t look like it. Wallowing in self-pity is not the Douglas Baker I know. You were not like this with Cherry.”
“Cherry. I didn’t—”
Didn’t what? Love?
“Look, Cherry hurt you. Nothing will ever change what she did to you. But you need to get over it. Chalk it up to experience. Learn from it. Don’t let it ruin your life. You can’t move forward if you continue to live in the past. Cherry was a typical money-hungry woman, eager to spread her legs to get what she wanted. Do not put Sandi in the same class.”
He would never do that. Sandi was light where Cherry was dark. Sandi was fresh air where Cherry was stale and suffocating.
“It’s obvious you’re denying your feelings.”
Doug slumped back against his chair. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t know.”
“You don’t deserve Sandi. Serves you right if Nathan did take her out.”
Jealousy pricked Doug’s skin. “What do you know about Sandi and Nathan?”
“I saw the two of them on the dance floor. Nathan more than likely wanted to get a rise out of you.”
“Sandi left the gala alone,” he said with relief. “Nathan and I went back to his hotel.”
“Did he talk any sense into you?”
Doug scowled at his friend. Everyone seemed to be on Sandi’s side. “He sounded a lot like you.”
“Anyone with eyes can see how you feel about her. I’m sick of seeing you act like a tiger with a thorn in his paw.”
“I think you mean lion.”
Some of the thunder left Sheldon’s expression. “Semantics. Talk to me, Doug. We’re friends.”
How could he explain to Sheldon when he didn’t even know what this thing was between him and Sandi? What they were or weren’t to each other. What they might be. What he hoped they could be.
“What’s with you, man? She’s a good person. A fantastic woman with a rocking body.”
Sheldon’s words scraped him raw, like taking a scalpel to an open wound. Sandi had a rocking body, all right. He wasn’t too thrilled with Sheldon pointing it out. “I want what you and Regina have. I want a woman who loves me.”
“You can have that.” Sheldon placed a hand on his shoulder. “You may have it already.”
Doug scrubbed his fingers over his beard. Hadn’t he been pondering that very thing for the last two weeks? In college, he and Sheldon told each other everything. Why was Doug hiding his feelings now? Did he think Sheldon would take Regina and Sandi’s side?
Doug shook off the absurd idea.
“Look. I can be straight, right?”
“You always have been.” Sheldon dropped onto a chair and rested his elbows on his knees. “We’re like brothers.”
“I know Sandi is Regina’s friend—”
“She’s my friend too. She’s a big girl. It’s not my business if she agrees to have casual sex.”
Doug hiked a brow in annoyance. “You and I both know Sandi is not the casual sex type.”
“More than you know. While I can’t say I wish I didn’t have money, I do wish it was not the factor that women based their actions on.”
“How many times do I have to tell you Sandi’s not that type? She is not one of those women who spend a lot of money on herself. You should be able to see that. Giving to others, now, that’s more her story. She was close to her mom and dad. They left her a house and land. I’ve never seen her brag, or spend money lavishly on clothes or stuff.”
Doug stared at his hands, feeling all the pressure of the universe on his shoulders. He needed time and space to think. He couldn’t do that with Sheldon singing Sandi’s praises. He and Sheldon might be best friends, but Sandi was Regina’s best friend. That had to sway Sheldon’s opinion.
“I just need a minute.”
“You’ve had two weeks.”
He wished Sheldon would quit reminding him.
“Look. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? You’re not much good to anyone here the way you are right now.”
“I have patients.”
“I’ll pick up your patient load. Face your feelings. Go figure this out. When you do, go see Sandi.”
You’ve had two weeks. Go see Sandi.
Sheldon got up to leave, then stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “You can’t live your life on a ‘maybe.’ Take a chance. Take a risk. What have you got to lose?”
My heart.
“You just might be surprised.”
Doug stared at the closed door. After Cherry, he had sworn the next time he opened his heart, it would be to a woman he could trust. A woman who would love him the same way he loved her.
He feared Sandi already had it.
Yes, he’d been wallowing in misery for two weeks. The only way to fix his suffering was to cure the source.
Sandi.
The source of his agony. No. He was. He’d brought this upon himself.
Face your feelings.
Chapter 22
Some messes couldn’t be cleaned up by wishing them gone. And he’d messed up. Big time. It had only been a matter of weeks, but it felt so much longer. Not only had Doug fallen hard, he’d fallen fast.
Doug replayed that night over and over in his mind. The continuous reel displayed raw footage of a woman so beautiful his gut ached. Every touch had generated fresh shivers of awareness. Every sigh drove his burning need. Her eyes, glimmering with passion, had incited a craving so strong he thought he’d burst with the desire to please her. He remembered her kiss made him think he had heaven on earth. Her moans of ecstasy still rang in his ears.
Reliving that night tortured his soul in ways he’d never imagined. It had taken Sheldon’s words to set him straight. Cherry had been nothing compared to the anguish he now faced.
Hindsight had given him a good kick in the ass. No matter what he’d promised, no matter how hard he strived, the vows he made took a flying leap when he met Sandi. In his own defense, he’d tried to push her away. Annoying and irritating as she’d been, she still managed to get under his skin. She wove her magic and brought him to his knees.
He thought he’d done the right thing.
Sandi wasn’t his real girlfriend. But if he was right, and she meant nothing, why did he have a crater-sized hole in his heart? Why did it pain him so much, knowing he’d hurt her?
He turned the water knob in the shower to hot, needing the heat to sooth his body. His nights had been long and sleepless. He’d been unable to relax since ending their bargain. Stretching as the water slid over his back, he rolled his shoulders, willing the tension to leave his muscles.
Theirs was a bargain made in good faith. He knew before he’d asked that Sandi was a certain type of woman. He knew before he’d asked, and he had asked her anyway.
He’d acted like a madman at the charity event.
Face it, man. You were jealous.
No matter what he might have thought, he had no business attacking her. She had the right to rip his guts and serve them to him after the hurt he’d dished out to her.
Sandi deserved more from him. The nagging suspicion in his gut told him she had expected more, but he’d bet his bank account it wasn’t money. She’d been distressed for another reason entirely. If he relied on his instincts and stopped wallowing in self-pity, he would have seen more clearly.
The look in her eyes when he ended their bargain had surprised him. Expecting her to be miffed, or to be irate that she’d lost him as a new means of income, he’d been shocked to see her true reaction. Confusion, he understood. Discomfort, that too. Tenderness and sorrow? That was totally unexpected.
Looking back, he could believe in those emotions. He hadn’t then, because he’d assumed Sandi was a gold digger. He’d destroyed her memory of their night together by making it seem like it meant nothing. Their passionate night. He’d made a mockery of the most glorious night of his life.
He’d hurt her. He knew it. Her distress, torment . . . he’d crushed her.
He had to go to her and set things straight. He didn’t think she’d accept his apology. Not again.
What would he be apologizing for this time? That he hurt her? That he was an ass? That he lov—
Woah. Wait a damn minute. Take a deep breath.
Inhale in.
Exhale out.
Well, shit.
Of course, he loved her.
What’s with you, man? She’s a good person. A fantastic woman with a rocking body.
Check. Check. Double check.
I think you’re wrong. I know she’s crazy about you.
He was an ass. Was it too late to set things straight?
The shower he’d hoped would be riveting had done the opposite. After going without sleep for so long, the warm water relaxed him, his body overcome with fatigue.
Exhaustion.
Christ. Not again. Not now.
With a towel wrapped around his hips, he fell back on the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes.
Amazing how stress vanished once he made up his mind.
His body needed rest.
Maybe for a few minutes.
~ ~ ~
Her best friend had come through like a champ.
Sandi clicked off the phone and danced around the room, excitement bubbling in her chest. Regina had talked to Sheldon, and he had cornered Doug at the office. According to Regina, Doug left work and might be headed her way.
She had to take a shower and wash her hair. Did she have time? She ran to the refrigerator, searching for anything she could fix on the spur of the moment. Wine. She grabbed two bottles, one white and one red, just in case, and put them in the freezer to chill.
Aha. Frozen lasagna from Regina. Perfect. She set it out to thaw. What if he wanted to take her out to dinner? Oh, she could just toss the package in the fridge. She glanced at her watch. One o’clock. She had plenty of time before dinner. Shower first.
She raced down the hall, tripping over the hem of her long pants. If she didn’t hem the damned things, she’d end up breaking her neck.
As she turned on the water, she worried she might not hear the doorbell. What an awesome idea, if he joined her in the shower! Now she was just being giddy. The last time she spoke with him, he broke up with her. He’d ended their bargain. He never mentioned a new one.
She didn’t want any more bargains.
She wanted the real thing.
Hurrying, she dried off in record time, then left the door open while fixing her hair. She didn’t want to chance missing him, or worse, let Doug think she wasn’t home.
She grabbed a blouse from her closet and hel
d it up, checking out her appearance in the mirror on the back of the closet door. Unable to decide whether to dress up or dress casually, she tossed it aside and grabbed another, then another. A quick glance at the clock let her know only an hour had gone by.
Okay, so he didn’t come straight from the office.
He would want a shower too.
After several more outfits and trying on a few, she looked at her watch again. Three? Surely, he had time to take a shower, run errands, or anything else that needed to be done. Did she assume wrong?
She walked to the living room and checked outside. Not a car or person in sight. She wandered back to the kitchen, picked up the lasagna, then dropped it. Why warm it up if he wasn’t coming? Although, some people ate as late as eight o’clock.
But he’d left the office before noon.
Have faith. He was coming. Regina said he was.
Uh, no, she didn’t.
She talked to Sheldon. Sheldon talked to Doug. More like he cornered Doug in his office. What if Doug resented Sheldon’s interference? What if Sandi’s meddling annoyed him? He might be angry that she’d tried to get at him by going through Sheldon.
Grabbing a pillow, she plopped down on the couch and tucked her feet to the side. Obviously, she had not thought this through.
A prestigious doctor, Doug had admitted that himself, would not want his personal business made public. She’d gone behind his back, soliciting his friend, exposing a situation that should have remained private.
What had she done?
He might not forgive her. He already had a chip on his shoulder, and she’d irritated him so many times. She may have made things worse.
Shit. How could they get any worse?
The wine in the freezer tempted her. She padded to the kitchen on bare feet and took out both bottles. Nice and cold. She put the white in the fridge and set the red on the counter. Maybe she’d wait a few more minutes.
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