by Erica Ridley
“G-good evening,” she stammered self-consciously, unable to fathom what could have changed his mood so dramatically over the course of a single afternoon.
“Is it?”
His voice was so flat that she instinctively halted in her tracks. The two paces to the closest chair might as well have been miles. For the first time since arriving at Waldegrave Abbey, the darkness emanating from Alistair’s obsidian eyes caused her flesh to tingle in danger.
She debated coming any closer. He was clearly in no mood for company. Perhaps she ought to return to her room and leave him to his demons. Perhaps there was a labor strike in the kitchens, or some scientific discovery had brought disappointing implications or—
His long, gloved fingers began to drum slowly upon the tabletop. No—not upon the table itself, but rather, upon a sun-bleached sheet of parchment caught between the polished rosewood and the heel of his hand. From this angle, only a stark black W-A-N was clearly discernible, but she needed no further clue to solve the mystery of the vanished romance.
A cold sweat pricked at her skin. “I can explain—”
One brow shot skyward. “Can you?”
Could she? She pressed her hands to her clenching stomach and swallowed. She shook her head. “No. I can explain, of course, but I cannot fully exculpate myself.”
“Of course,” he repeated, smoothing the wrinkles from her sketched likeness. “Not fully.”
Her legs near to buckling, she somehow made it to the opposite end of the table before thudding heavily into a chair. It was not her fault, she told herself desperately. But in her case, fault scarcely mattered. It came down to the law. Unconscionable proclivities aside, Old Man Livingstone’s heir had been powerful, moneyed, and her employer, no matter how she felt about it. Until she’d left him to die in a fire.
And then failed to mention a single word while masquerading as a respectable governess in order to gain the confidence of the man who was quite probably the single most protective father in the known universe. Violet swallowed. She had known it couldn’t last. That any moment, she’d awaken from this idyllic dream and find herself once more trapped in a nightmare. But how had he learned the truth? Had someone delivered wanted notices right up to the abbey door?
She gripped the edges of her chair in sudden terror. “Someone came looking for me here? Who? When?”
“I—” He blinked at her as if he had no answers to those questions, then shook his head. “At the moment, no one knows you’re here. But news travels quickly. The sun keeps me from leaving the abbey, but my staff does their best to keep me abreast of the outside world. And I’m told the town of Shrewsbury is papered with your face.” He narrowed his eyes, every line of his body harsh and unforgiving. “For the moment, your secret is still safe from those that seek you, but I will not tolerate deception. Whether I toss you back out into the world depends on how you explain”—he stabbed his index finger atop the incriminating portrait—“this.”
Any relief she had felt at not being hunted at her very door dissipated at the implication she might soon be homeless and vulnerable once again. Not implication... he had all but promised. And how could she blame him? No one wanted a murderess for a governess.
But who would have brought him the news? It had to be one of the staff. She would not ask him, because it didn’t matter. It wasn’t slander. She just hadn’t wanted him to know. She swallowed. Too late for that. By now all the staff must have heard, and regretted ever opening their hearts or doors. She would be back on the streets before nightfall. But to head where? Shrewsbury was not only the closest town, it was the only chance for transportation. It had taken weeks to walk this far, and she’d barely survived. She had to convince him to let her stay, if only until her pursuers continued elsewhere. But how did one defend oneself against charges that were... true?
She exhaled hollowly. “I am not sure where to start.”
“Now, that I most certainly believe. Please, allow me to help break the ice. Let’s pick a point at random... say... the bit about you being a wanted felon. You apparently left that detail out when we met. Just tell me this much. Are you or are you not a murderess?”
She lifted her chin from her chest. Was she? Yes. And she would do it again if she had to. She had merely stepped upon a worm. But now was not the time to quibble about Percy Livingstone’s questionable humanity. This was the moment to tell the truth about herself.
“Yes,” she admitted. “I did what they say I did, although not on purpose. Mostly. Please understand, I bore no premeditated violence against anyone. It all happened so fast, and the next thing I knew—”
“Why don’t you begin with what did happen,” he interrupted, his dark gaze inscrutable.
She took a deep breath and forced herself to meet his eyes.
“Up until that day, I was not Miss Smythe, but rather Violet Whitechapel.” She steeled herself against the betrayal in his gaze. “An art instructor at the Livingstone School for Girls in Lancashire. I loved everything about it. I loved my colleagues, I loved coaxing orphans into developing a sense of self, and above all I loved old man Livingstone for having done the same for me when he gave me an art studio and a position.”
“And then what?”
“And then he died,” she answered simply, unable to keep the sorrow and pain from scratching at her throat. “His worthless son inherited the property and planned to evict all the orphans in order to convert the school into a sanitarium for the rich. When I ‘met’ this paragon and his surveyor, they were abducting one of the damaged young girls right from my art studio. I had never seen the men before in my life, but did I wish to kill them in that moment? Yes. Absolutely. Of course the sight enraged me, and I am not the slightest bit ashamed that my first reaction was to do whatever was necessary to rescue an innocent child from their abuse. They deserve to rot in hell.”
Alistair’s expression had gone from disillusionment to outrage in the space of a breath, but having broken the dam of silence, Violet could no longer curb the flow of her words.
“The surveyor advanced upon me to take me for a spot of ‘fun’ as well. Had I a pistol, I would’ve shot them dead on the spot. Instead, I threw the heaviest objects within reach, and managed to knock the surveyor unconscious with a lucky blow to the head. The Livingston heir moved to strike me. She—that is to say, I—swung at him with the only weapon near to hand: a paintbrush. That stopped him cold. ” She shuddered at the memory. “My revulsion at seeing the wet handle protrude from his eye was nothing compared to the horror of what he’d intended to do to that innocent girl. But there was no time to waste. Flames from fallen candles had already engulfed the studio. I escaped with the clothes on my back and that terrorized child in my arms. If those two whoresons did not save themselves, then I am not sorry and shall never beg forgiveness. I’d sooner die!”
“Violet... ” He rose from his chair and stepped toward her. “Love... ”
The next thing she knew, she was cradled in his arms, shamelessly destroying his cravat and waistcoat with hiccupy sobs and hot tears. He laid his cheek against the top of her head and held her until her tears finally abated.
“I did not know,” he whispered, stroking her hair.
She shivered at the memory of the flames. “How could you? I have learned not to trust anyone, and I feared the trouble I might find myself in if word got out.” She reached for the wanted bill and stared at her likeness. “The trouble I do find myself in.”
He tugged the bill from her fingers and flicked it facedown upon the empty table. “I’m not sure that’s the case. Perhaps things are not as bad as you believed.”
She laughed humorlessly. “No? Being a wanted murderess is a petty concern in your world?”
“Being a wanted murderess would be terrible indeed,” he said quietly, “but I am not certain you have earned the title.”
She frowned, then considered the version she’d emphasized for the London barristers. “You mean because it was unplanned, and
an accidental outcome of an unforeseen circumstance?”
“I mean,” he said with a strange glint in his eye, “I am not sure anyone died.”
Her flesh turned to ice. “What?”
“The men posting the bills are strangers. I didn’t see them,” he amended quickly, “but from all accounts, one is badly scarred... and the other wears a patch over his eye.” Alistair lifted a brow. “Doesn’t that sound familiar? You’re no murderess if the supposed victims are still alive. We still have to clear your name, of course, given that bodily damage was inflicted, but at least now we know you need not fear the gallows. It should be straightforward from here. Mr. Livingstone is a liar. It will be nothing to prove it.”
Violet broke out in a cold sweat. Straightforward? Violent men enjoyed violent behavior, and this particular one clearly had vengeance on his mind. If the despiteful Mr. Livingstone had not perished in the fire, criminal prosecution would be the least of his plans.
He’d as soon kill her.
Chapter 29
With Violet still cradled to his chest, Alistair picked up the overturned wanted bill and slowly, decisively, crumpled the sun-brittled parchment into nothingness.
How could anyone have accused her of coldblooded murder? He’d believed in her innate goodness even as he’d ripped her likeness from a board outside the smithy’s on the way back to the abbey. He’d torn down every bill he’d passed in what he’d (rightfully) believed was rage... but he had been mistaken. At the time, he’d thought himself furious over Violet’s deception. But he’d suspected there was a greater evil at play. He just hadn’t suspected how evil. He wished he could rip the men who did this in two. Violet trembled in his arms.
“Percy Livingstone is a monster.” Her voice cracked. “A monster.”
“Violet. Angel.” He tucked the offensive ball of parchment into a side pocket to keep it safe from prying eyes. “I believe you, love.”
Her face lifted and her gaze met his, but her eyes were empty, as if even now she were reliving that nightmarish moment instead of hearing him attempt to comfort her.
Of course she was innocent. Wasn’t her pure heart the one quality that most drew him to her? How she alone could find beauty in everything and goodness in everyone. It was her encouragement and understanding that converted Lily from the wild creature she had once been into a precocious little girl. And it was Violet’s selflessness that unmired Alistair himself from the past and opened his eyes to the possibility of the future.
“Come,” he said softly, tugging her to her feet. “I will have Cook prepare some bread and broth and send it to your room. For now, you need rest. Let me walk you to your chamber and see you settled.”
Violet allowed him to lead her. Sluggishly. Woodenly. As if she were a ragdoll imbued with limited powers of locomotion.
As soon as they’d cleared the dozen paces from the dining room to the main corridor, he swung her into his arms and continued apace.
She weighed nothing. She said nothing. She had closed her eyes, blocking his view of her terror, but nothing could erase the sorrow from her face or the pain from her heart. Her color was far too pale. Reliving the horror had drained her vitality. If he ever came across Percy Livingstone in the flesh, Alistair would snap his neck with his bare hands.
When he reached Violet’s bedchamber door, he gently returned her to her feet.
She made no comment, nor any move to unlock the door. Her face was still far too pale. If she didn’t lie down soon, he feared she would collapse right there in the hallway.
He fished his master key from his pocket. After opening the door, he hesitated only briefly before lifting her back into his arms and carrying her to her bed.
He should not be in her bedchamber. He knew that; of course he knew that. Station and circumstance and gentlemanliness aside, a man as outraged as he over another man’s ill behavior should not be flaunting propriety by turning down bed sheets and carefully settling an innocent young woman atop them.
But what was he to do? Even if he hadn’t canceled the supper orders, Violet would still not have been able to consume a single bite after seeing that Wanted bill and learning of her alleged victims’ continued existence. And their disturbing thirst for vengeance. For he could think of no other reason to exaggerate the charges, other than to ensure the Wanted bill caught public attention and the monetary reward led to Violet’s location.
Alistair closed the door to keep out prying eyes while he got her settled. Right now, she just needed safety. And peace. He perched at the edge of the mattress alongside her prone form and frowned. Was it wise to leave her alone? Violet had completely shut into herself and he could hardly take his leave of her without assuring himself of her wellbeing.
“Are you warm enough, or shall I cover you?” he asked quietly.
When she slowly shook her head in response, he realized how poorly he’d phrased his question. No, she was not warm? Or no, he should not cover her? He glanced over his shoulder. Embers still glowed from the fireplace, but a slight chill had always haunted every room in the abbey.
“I’ll stoke the fire before I go.” He straightened, lingering only to brush a loose curl from her shoulder.
Her fingers latched onto his wrist. “Don’t go.”
His breath caught as her dark eyes finally met his. “What?”
“Stay,” she whispered.
“Violet, love... You have had a violent shock, and it is scarcely appropriate that I—”
“Stay.”
He could not. He should not. But, oh, how he wished to. Just to hold her tight and know that for now, forever, she would be safe. “Perhaps I could pull up a chair and watch over you until you find slumber.”
“Lie next to me.” She tugged him closer. “Please.”
After the briefest of pauses, he lowered himself alongside her, consciously pushing away all thoughts of propriety or hesitation. Right now, Violet needed him. And, he admitted deep in his heart, he needed her, too. For far more than just this moment.
He pulled her into his arms until their legs entwined and her head lay atop his chest. He stroked the chestnut curls cascading down her back while whispering a steady stream of soft words meant to calm and reassure her. He didn’t even know what he said. Foolish words from his foolish heart. When at last her body finally relaxed atop his, he closed his eyes. And just held her.
He had no idea how long they lay thusly, their bodies perfectly intermeshed. She drifted into sleep, but he did not. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and breathed in the rosewater scent of her hair. She felt so... right. His arms were beginning to lock up from keeping their prolonged position for so long, but he could swear he’d never been so comfortable in his life.
He loved her, he realized suddenly, his cheek against her hair. Good God, he loved her.
When had that happened? Days ago? Weeks ago? Months? Had he been blind all this time, or simply deceiving himself about what he felt? How wrong he’d thought it was? There was unquestionably an unequal social and class disparity. That part was still true... yet wholly irrelevant. He loved her. And love trumped everything.
Roper had been right. Alistair was both the stubbornest and luckiest of men. He had found love a second time. God had blessed this abbey with not one but two perfect women. God had spirited the first back to paradise but, in His benevolence, had seen fit to set Alistair upon the path that led him here, to this woman, to this bedchamber, to this moment. The angel in his arms was a gift straight from heaven. An answer to prayers he hadn’t dared speak aloud. Fortunately, God had had the wisdom to listen to a man’s heart rather than his words.
Sending a silent thank-you heavenward, Alistair held her even tighter.
She started, rearing up with a whistling gasp and clamping claw-like fingers around his forearms. Wide-eyed, she stared at him blindly for a long, heart-stopping moment before relaxing her grip and falling limply back into his arms. “It’s you.”
“It’s me.” He hesitated, t
hen pressed a worried kiss to her forehead. “Bad dreams?”
Without lifting her head, she slid her fingers into his hair and sighed. “You cannot imagine.”
“I believe you. How can I help?” He warmed as her arms clung to him, keeping him close. “I cannot undo the past, but I have more than enough money for the hire of a good barrister. I will write my solicitor for recommendations first thing in the morning.”
“I wrote to a few already. The only funds I have are what I’ve earned since coming here, and I planned to put every penny toward my legal defense. Alistair, I... ” Violet propped herself up on his chest in order to meet his eyes. “I wanted to tell you. I did. But I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me, or to cut me from your life. Rightly or wrongly, I decided to wait until after I’d managed to acquit myself of any charges, in order to better prove to you what kind of person I am.”
“I already know what kind of person you are.” He smiled up at her. “Haven’t I said from the beginning that you were a miracle in our lives? You’re an angel from God Himself.”
Her expression was uncomfortable, rather than pleased. “Trust me, I’m hardly—”
“Nobody is perfect,” he interrupted quietly. “I am living proof. But this was not your fault, love. You are not to blame. I can understand not wishing to disclose the details before you knew how the story would end. And now that I do know, I can help. This Percy Livingstone will not win. I swear it.”
The doubt did not ease from her expression, but she nodded rather than offer additional protest. “Thank you.”
His insides clenched. He would fix this for her. Be the guardian angel of his guardian angel. He had promised. And he loved her too much to do anything less.
He caressed her cheek with the curve of a finger. “If there is anything else I can do, please say the word.”
