by Drake, J. L.
“You cold?”
I shake my head no. The Christmas thrill I had earlier is long gone now. I wish the holiday would pass so I didn’t have to think about the fact that our first Christmas together will now be spent apart.
We all walk quietly back to the cars. Cole’s body language has changed. He seems like he’s lost in thought. I want to ask him what’s on his mind, but that seems silly considering they’re shipping out in four hours.
The ride home is painfully quiet. Cole holds me close stroking his thumb over my hand.
I can tell he’s scanning the horizon. I wonder if he ever gets tired of being alert all the time.
Cole grabs my hand after I hop out of the truck. “Take a walk with me?”
“Sure.”
He holds my hand and leads me to a path in the woods. We walk in silence—the only noise the sound of the snow crunching under our boots. Arriving at a clearing on the top of a hill we look down at the lake. The moon is bright and it casts a bright path through the ripples in the water.
“Wow,” I murmur softly, not wanting to break the mood. “It’s so pretty.”
“Savannah?” Cole says quietly.
I turn to him finding him staring at me.
“I want you to be extra careful when I’m gone. No trips to town, no running off into the woods. Please, keep someone with you at all times, promise me?”
I nod, understanding how serious this is.
He steps toward me. “I need to be able to focus while I’m away. I need to keep a clear head.”
“I promise, Cole. I do understand. Don’t worry, I won’t run off, I—”
“I’m in love with you Savannah.” Oh. “I couldn’t go away this time without telling you that I am in love with you. This is a first for me. I’ve never felt or said those words to any woman before.”
I feel my eyes brim with tears. “Cole.” I clear my throat. “I hate that the first time I’m saying this to you, you’re leaving me, but…I love you too.”
He closes his eyes breathing out a shaky sigh.
I cup his face with both my hands. “It’s a first for me too.” I kiss him softly. “Promise me, you’ll come back to me.”
He wraps his arms around me tighter. “I promise baby.”
***
I wake with a start, my eyes feeling puffy. Reaching behind me, I remember he had indeed left me last night. It seemed like only moments ago we were tangled in the sheets together showing one another how much love we had to give. Glancing at the clock. Seeing it’s nine thirty already has me jumping out of bed and heading to the shower. I can’t believe I slept so long.
“Hi, Savi,” Abigail says handing me a cup of coffee as I take a seat at the island. She slides me a red box with a bow. “Cole left this,” she smiles waiting for me to open it.
I pull on the bow and slowly open the lid. My hand flies to my mouth as my eyes fill and overflow with tears.
“Well?”
I turn it around to show her the crystal tear drop with the fortified snowflake inside.
“Oh, Savannah it’s beautiful,” she exclaims, clutching her hands together over her chest in a moment of joy.
“I saw it last night in a shop while we were walking to Zack’s. Cole must have slipped away after his phone call.” I pull out a note stuck on the bottom as she helps me clasp it around my neck.
To remember the day we spoke
those special words,
Yours – C
I hold it to my chest as a lump builds in my throat. “Abby?” I sniff, then feel a huge wave of nausea. My head spins so hard I almost fall off the stool. “Whoo.”
“Savannah?” I see Abigail call out but I barely hear her. Sweat breaks out across my neck and my stomach turns. Oh my God, have I been poisoned again?
She shoves a bucket in my face just in time for me to loudly empty my stomach.
“Oh my,” Sue says from somewhere behind me. “Let’s get her to bed.”
Chapter Nineteen
I wake a few hours later.
Sue is sitting with someone at the table by the balcony door.
“Hi?” I say, feeling groggy.
“Savannah, this is Doctor Brown. She’s an OB/GYN.”
I move to sit up better in the bed.
“Okay.” I shake my head. “Why is—?” Then it hits me—no appetite, nauseous, emotional, tired— “Am I pregnant?”
Doctor Brown steps toward me. “I believe you are, Ms. Miller.”
What? “But I’m on birth control!”
“No birth control is one hundred percent effective. Sometimes these things just happen. I’m assuming you know who the father is.”
Really? I blush when I look at Sue, oh God, I know she wants grandbabies but it’s too soon! What if she thinks I’m trying to trap her son? Hell, we only just announced that we loved each other last night.
“Savannah.” Sue smiles at me.
“Yes, I do, it’s Cole.” I lean my head back wondering what the hell Cole is going to think.
“Well, that’s good then.” Doctor Brown smiles down at me. “Do you remember when your last menstrual cycle was?” I think back but am drawing a blank.
“I honestly don’t remember.”
“All right, I will need you to come by my office in a few days. I don’t have the equipment here, but I want to perform an ultrasound examination. We want to make sure the baby is off to a good start.” She opens her bag saying, “For now, start taking these.” She hands me a bottle of prenatal vitamins. Oh God. “Have Sue contact me when you can make it in. Please get lots of rest and eat.” She rises to leave.
“Thank you, Doctor Brown,” Sue says, walking her to the door. “I’ll be in touch.”
Sue turns to me with the biggest smile on her face that I’ve ever seen. “Oh, Savannah!” She tosses her hands in the air. “I’ve never been happier!”
I feel like asking for a time out so I can process what the hell I’ve just been told.
She crawls on the bed next to me. “Are you all right?”
Not really.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, suddenly remembering her behavior at the restaurant. “You knew, didn’t you?”
She smiles. “I had a feeling, but I was waiting to see if I was right. This morning confirmed it, that’s why I called Doctor Brown. She’s the best in town and I’ve known her for years.”
I nod trying to keep my head on straight.
“He told me he loved me last night,” I say, fingering my necklace. “I love him, Sue, I really do.” I hear her sniff than she reaches for my hand. “What do you think Cole will say?” I ask nervously.
She laughs, slightly wiping her cheeks, “He’s going to be so happy, Savannah!”
“You think?”
“I know.”
“It’s terrible timing; it wasn’t planned.”
“That may be, but everything will be fine, Savannah.”
“Sue,” I look up at her, “can we please keep this between us?”
“Daniel knows.”
“That’s fine, but just the three of us, okay? I don’t want Cole to be the last to know.”
“Of course, no one but us three.”
I let out a long sigh and try not to panic about what’s growing in my stomach. Then I think of Cole and the idea of a little part of each of us in one little body makes me smile. I find myself rubbing my stomach as I fall back to sleep.
***
Cole holds the satellite phone to his ear while he separates himself from everyone. They’re all exhausted from the day. They had a run in with a group of Cartels and their camp was discovered. They had to grab what they could and haul ass to a new location. He glances at his watch it is just past midnight.
“You guys good?” Keith asks.
“Yeah, just barely,” he says as he briefs Keith on the day’s events and current situation.
“All right, well, everything is quiet on our end.”
“Good,” Cole says, hesitat
ing…
“Savi’s got the flu,” Keith says.
Cole could hear the smile in his voice. “So if you start feeling sick, good luck because she’s been in bed all day.”
Poor Savannah, he had planned to call earlier and hoped she was close so he could speak to her. The fact that it was against his own house rules to use check in time for anything personal was totally beside the point. Since Savannah came into his life all his rules went out the window.
“You want me to wake her?”
Keith’s question throws him; was he thinking out loud? “No, it’s late. We’re watching the house, early tomorrow or rather today so this is my check in for…” he looks at his watch again, “last night and this morning.”
“All right, stay safe.”
“Will do. Raven out.”
***
“I see seven men on the east side,” Mark whispers, “five on the west.”
“Copy that,” Cole replies moving his binoculars confirming same. “Seven on the east and five on the west.” He shifts, reaching for his radio when it crackles to life.
“Fox one to Raven one,” Paul’s voice cracks over the radio.
“Go ahead Fox one.”
“We have a green Hummer heading toward the house approaching from the northeast.”
Cole spots the truck and follows it. “Copy that Fox one, I have a visual. I want to know who’s in that vehicle.”
“Ten-four.”
The Hummer passes through the gate without any problem and stops in front of the mansion. Two armed guards open the door and pull out a man in a navy blue business suit wearing a cream-colored cloth bag over his head.
“Hum,” Cole says, “interesting that his head is covered but his hands aren’t tied.”
“Yup.” Mark nods.
“Seems our mystery guest might be doing business with The American.”
“Guess they don't trust him to know the location.” Mark squints. “You think it could be the mayor?”
“No, this guy is taller and slimmer.”
They watch as the suit and one of the armed guards disappear inside and the Hummer takes off back the way it came.
“Guess he’ll be staying a while,” Mark says, rolling onto his back stretching out his neck. He checks his watch and pulls out a protein bar. Cole inches backwards then leans against a rock out of view. He spits his gum out and opens his water.
Mark pulls at his vest, shifting. “Fuck, I miss the snow.”
“Me too,” Cole says, thinking of Savannah.
“I know that look.”
“Yup, you have it too,” he shoots back, making Mark grin.
“All right,” Cole says putting the cap on his water then pats his side looking for…
“Here.” Mark tosses him a piece of gum. Ever since they joined the Army together, they’ve been chewing gum. When they are out on duty it helps them relax. Cole pops it in his mouth while he studies the map.
“Ahhh, yuck, what the fuck is this?” Cole asks, making a disgusting face.
“Hubba Bubba.”
“What are you, a twelve year old girl?”
“It makes for a better chew.” Mark shrugs.
“It’s disgusting.”
“No, what’s disgusting is your old man cinnamon gum.”
“I can literally feel my teeth sticking together. What shit flavor is this?”
“Sweet and sassy cherry!”
“I…I,” Cole shakes his head, “I don’t even know what to say right now.” He spits out the gum and replaces it with one of his own. They both lay back on their stomachs and inch forward back to their post.
***
I sit on the living room couch holding my purse on my lap, completely lost in a memory.
“I didn’t even know you were seeing someone,” I say sitting next to Lynn on my father’s couch. Lynn had arrived on dad’s doorstep looking like she'd just seen a ghost.
“I’m not seeing someone, Savi, I just hooked up with someone and now I’m late.”
“How many days late?”
“A week,” she says, drying her eyes.
“So,” I quickly do the math then my mouth drops, “was it someone from…” I inch closer seeing my father in the kitchen, “from the Charity event we went to last month?” She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Oh my God, was it Jones that smokin’ hot blond guy from Dad’s office?”
“Luka’s ‘Assistant’? No, not Jones!” She shakes her head in disgust. I ignore her bitchiness toward his title, as I know for a fact that Jones works his ass off for my father and everyone else in the office.
“Then who? And was he not wearing a condom? Not trying to sound holier-than-thou, but come on, Lynn, even I have a sta—”
“Have a what?” My father asks giving me a stern warning not to finish my sentence. He hands Lynn a bottle of water and takes a seat across from us. “So you’re pregnant?”
Lynn’s eyes pop open she looks to me for help but I’m just as stunned that he heard us talking.
“Umm, I don’t know,” she says, turning three shades of red.
“Who’s the father?” he asks like he has a right to, but I don’t stop him because I’m dying to know too.
“I’d rather not have this conversation until I know for sure.”
My father slams his glass down on the table. “How could you be so stupid?”
“Dad,” I shot back. “Don’t.”
“Be quiet, Savi.” He scowls at me, waving a finger in my face. “I swear if I ever find out you’re pregnant before you’re married, consider it aborted. You will not shame my name.” He looks at Lynn. “You should consider the same thing or get a ring on that finger before the press finds out.” He leans forward narrowing his eyes on us. “Figure this situation out before I do.” He stands leaving the room cursing under his breath.
I reach for Lynn’s hand giving it a squeeze. My stomach turns. If my mother could hear him now she’d be devastated. Thankfully, later on that night the pregnancy test came out negative. I’d never seen Lynn so relieved and I never did find out who the possible baby daddy was.
“Ready?” Keith asks, standing next to me.
I didn’t even hear him come in the room.
“Yes.”
Keith was holding his ground when Sue and I told him I needed to go into to town. But once Sue said the letters OBG he backed off not asking anymore questions. I’m sure he thinks I have some kind of infection, normally I’d be embarrassed but today I’m finding I’m a little too excited to care. I would love to share this with him but I want to tell Cole first. Besides, Derek is in the SUV with us and he’s been a little distant ever since he found out Cole and I are dating.
“Hood up, hair tucked in, and glasses on, okay, Savi?” Keith says from the driver’s seat. He glances at me in the mirror.
I nod doing all the things he told me.
Mike is two cars behind us, he’s the spotter for today.
We pull up to the curb and wait for Keith to get out and open my door.
Derek opens the office door for me and I see Sue standing in the waiting room.
She rushes over and wraps me in a hug. “Thanks guys, I can take it from here,” she says to Keith and Derek.
They both take a seat by the door, looking around at all the women. They look very uncomfortable, which makes me smirk.
With Sue’s arm still around me she walks me through to the back.
I’m guessing they know her pretty well since they all wave and let us go on through.
I change from the waist down and wrap a paper sheet over me which rips twice while I try to get comfortable.
Lying back, I'm feeling a little nervous as Doctor Brown explains what is about to happen. A very long cold probe up is shoved up my ‘wuha’ and I breathe out, staring upward and counting the flakes on the ceiling. A tiny gasp from Sue has me looking over at her, she has her hand on her chest.
“See that right there?” Doctor Brown says, t
apping her finger to the screen. “That little round circle is your baby.”
I look back up to the ceiling, crossing my arms over my face, and start to cry.
“Oh, Savi,” Sue says, coming to my side, “don’t cry, everything is going to be okay.”
“I know.” I sniff trying to catch my breath. “I just wish Cole was here for this.”
“I know, dear,” she whispers. “Me too.”
I wipe my cheeks and look back over at my baby. My heart thumps loudly as I watch the little circle pulse along with mine. “Wow,” I whisper with a hitch in my voice, my whole body floods with emotion.
“Heartbeat looks perfect,” Doctor Brown says with a smile tapping away on the keys. “And I’d say you’re about five weeks.”
I press my lips together trying not to smile at my dirty thoughts of Cole and me in the shower, in his bed, my bed, my—.
“Here you go.” She hands me a picture.
“Can I get one more?” I ask.
“Of course.” She prints one off. “Get dressed then we’ll go over all the do’s and don’ts.”
She and Sue start to leave but I call Sue back as I sit up.
“You need to share this with Grandpa,” I say, handing her one of the ultrasound pictures.
“Thank you!” she cries giving me a hug. “I can’t wait to.”
I tuck the goody bag the Doctor gave me in my purse and meet Keith at the door. He sees my red eyes and gently reaches for my arm.
“I’m not sure if I want to know the answer to this question, but I promised Cole I’d watch over you like a hawk, so I need to know, are you okay?”
“I am actually.” I grin. “I really am.” My stupid eyes water again.
“So why are you crying?”
My heart plays tug a war with feeling unbelievably excited but yet terrified for Cole. “I miss Cole,” I admit to him. “I just wish I could speak with him myself, hear his voice—” I sigh, feeling sappy. “Sorry.”
