by Silver, Ruth
Elsa stepped outside, wrapping her arms around herself. “Listen, Olivia. You know I would never consider doing anything that would hurt you. The Chancellor is overwhelmed with what to do next.” She came to sit down on the other side of me. “I know he worried you, talking about doing whatever it takes for answers, but he's just stressed.”
“I'm sure that's it.” I wasn’t convinced.
Elsa sighed, “Jaxon was right. If we can meet the other rebel towns outside of our five cities, there might be something to it. It's possible they have their own technology and scientists. We need more than just ourselves as weapons. Didn't you once tell me Haven had a technology center? Perhaps they have a stash of weapons hidden there that we could use.”
Joshua nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty sophisticated, but neither of us knew much about what was inside. Now it's probably flattened with the rest of the town.”
“Maybe,” Elsa shrugged. “Or maybe not. You both left and didn't see the damage after the government came through. It's possible some rebels survived. Maybe they joined up at a nearby rebel camp.”
“What are you thinking, Elsa?” I could see her mind ticking away.
“I may be smart but I need another scientist or doctor on staff to help me sort through the data.”
Joshua frowned. “I thought there wasn't anything?”
Elsa sighed. “There is, and,” she paused. “There isn't. The more I think about it, the more I'm trying to understand the differences, but it all looks the same. I'm just not sure I'm looking at it the right way.” She saw our confused looks and continued. “I'm by no means a medical doctor, let alone a reproductive specialist. It's highly possible I just don't know what I'm looking for.”
“Joshua and I can take the car, drive back east towards Spade and Torv.” Though we didn't have the map in our possession, I suspected Collins had taken it the night we had been brought into the city and pulled from the vehicle at gunpoint.
“I don't think that's a good idea. If something were to happen to you…” Elsa glanced at Joshua, wanting him to back her up. “You're too important, Olivia.”
Whatever he was thinking, Joshua held his tongue.
I opened my mouth to object. “Elsa, I appreciate your concern but Joshua and I are capable of taking care of ourselves. We made it across the Gravelands on our own.”
“You were lucky,” she acknowledged. “Just, consider sending someone else in your place. Margo or even Cate. We know how much you like her.”
I rolled my eyes in disgust. Ever since Cate had played a nasty trick on me, stealing my clothes from the shower stall, I hadn't forgiven her. It was hard to forgive someone who had intentionally acted hurtful and didn't regret her actions. Though I was thankful to have heard her punishment for the month was cleaning the toilets of all the buildings. It had certainly kept her away from me while Joshua and I continued our ability training.
Mason poked his head out the front door. “Meeting starts in five minutes. You know the Chancellor hates when anyone is late.”
“We'll be right in,” I answered, pushing myself off the ground and dusting the dirt from my clothes.
Joshua grabbed my hand. “Wait a sec,” he whispered to me. Elsa turned around.
“I'll be right in,” I gestured for her to go inside. She rubbed her arms to keep warm and headed into the building. I turned around to face Joshua, waiting for him to tell me what was on his mind and so important it couldn't wait.
He leaned towards me, brushing a strand of red-blonde hair behind my ear. The dye hadn't been able to keep up with my growing locks of blonde.
“Joshua?” I asked, knowing we were needed upstairs in three minutes. I didn't see why what he wanted to discuss couldn't wait.
“I don't want to lose you.” His words were soft but held so much meaning behind them. I felt my heart constrict at his words.
“You won't.” I smiled, leaning in to plant a soft kiss to his cheek. “I know you're worried and probably thinking about what Elsa said but you and me—we can read each other's minds. That's important if we're going out there,” I reminded him. “If for a moment we can tell each other something that could save our lives, it's worth it.” He had to know I was right.
“It's not worth dying over,” he emphasized. “I won't lose you.”
“I know.” I smiled. “I'll be fine. The rebel alliance will be glad to see us. Trust me.” How could I have any doubts? We were stronger and tougher than we'd been last June when we'd come to Haven. Nothing could touch us. I wasn't worried.
He sighed, thinking it over. “Maybe.” I could tell he wasn't convinced but he was trying to appease me. That would have to do for now.
“Come on.” I grabbed his hand, leading him inside and up the staircase. We were the last to arrive and quietly headed towards the oak table, resuming the positions we had prior to the break.
Chancellor Collins met my eyes. “Now that we have everyone back, I believe we should take a vote on our next course of action. All those in favor of an alliance with the far outer cities, raise your hand.”
I lifted my arm, as did Joshua. Jaxon's arm shot up in the air, along with Elsa, Maya, Margo and Mason. “That's seven to four,” he remarked.
Hazel sighed, “Can I make a suggestion?” She wasn't one to speak often in the weekly meetings.
“Go on,” Collins gestured.
“I'm not opposed to sending scouts to recruit the farther cities. I do however have some concerns about them finding out where we're from, our abilities, and the fact we have Olivia here. I would love to think we could trust every rebel camp, but I think it's safe to say that not everyone believes in the same cause we do.” I wondered where this side of Hazel was coming from. She hardly ever voiced her opinion about politics and the government system.
Collins nodded slowly. “Exactly my thoughts. Many of the outermost cities prefer seclusion. They have formed their own small alliances between the towns, but prefer to shove their head in the sand when it comes to matters of right and wrong.”
I frowned. “You can't say that! You've never met them. You're making assumptions about people based on what?” I didn't understand where Chancellor Collins got his opinion on some of the rebel cities. He'd never been to Spade or Torv. He'd never set foot in Haven. He was willing to be allies with his local neighbors but not the rebels further away? It made no sense to me.
“On the contrary, I was from a town outside of Haven. I know their politics and I don't believe things have changed in fifty years.”
What town had he been from? What was he talking about? “Well it's too bad for you because our vote won,” I reminded him coldly. Maybe I was acting childish, but I was irritated with Collins. It was hard to let some things go, especially after he had suggested making a test subject out of me!
Collins nodded, knowing as much. We were a democracy. “Okay, okay.” He gestured for everyone to settle down. “Three of you will head east and scout out the rebel towns. I would like an alliance, but more importantly we keep our own information safe. Do you all understand me?” There were no interruptions. Collins had found one thing everyone could agree on. “No talk of the procedure or of Mindonsiphan. No indications that you have any abilities outside of the usual realm of what you are capable of. No discussion of our plans for infiltrating the government cities or the towns,” he clarified.
“Fair enough,” Jaxon responded. “What three are you sending?” I could tell he wanted to be one of the three to go. He was leaning forward, antsy in his seat, waiting for the news. Jaxon had always been a leader. Even in training exercises he held the group together and instilled teamwork. I wouldn't mind him coming along with me to the eastern rebel cities, as long as he wouldn't take Joshua's place.
The Chancellor took a long moment, thinking it over, “Jaxon you'll be leading the team with Margo and Mason.”
“What?” I objected, standing up. I was appalled. “I want to be on that team! I've been out east, I know what conditions await us. I c
an help! This isn't fair.”
“Life, child, is not always fair,” Collins remarked.
I rolled my eyes, disgusted with him. I was not a child. It wasn't fair he kept me from going, but I was grateful Joshua hadn't been sent off without me. Selfish perhaps, but the thought of something happening to him was too much for me to bear.
Chancellor Collins stood up. “When the time comes for us to take down the walls of Genesis, you will be invited to do your part,” he informed me. “Until then, we need you in good health and alive.”
He left the room and Joshua stood up with me, nodding towards the door for me to follow him. “You didn't say anything,” I urged, walking with him down the stairs and outside into the cool, brisk air.
I wrapped my arms around myself and Joshua buried his hands in his pants pockets. “What was I going to say? He already made up his mind. It's better to have an ally, Olive.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” I stopped walking, confused.
He pulled his hand from his pocket, grabbed my elbow, and led me down the road towards our home. “It means that sometimes you go along with ideas for the greater good and when the time comes to speak up and cause a ruckus, you do it then.”
“I don't agree with that line of thinking,” I remarked, pulling from his grasp as we headed into our quaint brick home.
Joshua closed the door behind us and grabbed firewood from the back porch, bringing it in and starting a fire in the wood-burning stove. “Of course you don't,” he sighed. “I don't disagree with everything going on around here.”
“I never said I did,” I responded. “I don't agree with being left behind when Jaxon, Margo, and Mason go out scouting the other towns. Do they know how to handle the vehicle, let alone follow a map?”
Joshua bent in front of the fireplace, tending to it, watching the flames grow slowly. “I'm sure they'll do fine.”
I heaved a heavy sigh as I sat down on the gray sofa, kicking my feet up with me. “I hope you're right. Besides, what are we supposed to do for the next few weeks while they're out making either friends or enemies?” I wanted to trust they could handle befriending another rebel town but I was concerned.
“Practice? Further train on our abilities? Maybe we could even enjoy some time just you and me.” Joshua stared at me as I closed my eyes and leant my head back on the sofa.
“Yeah, that'd be nice.”
“I'm serious.” He stood up. I didn't see him but I could hear his heavy footsteps in our home as he approached. Joshua stood in front of me, obstructing the firelight. I finally opened my eyes, feeling him standing over me. “We're supposed to be engaged, Olive, and you barely touch me.”
“That's not true!” I objected, reaching my hand out to his arm.
“That's not what I meant.” His eyes narrowed. I knew what he was talking about.
“I'm not ready to get pregnant, Joshua. Now isn't the time.” I still wasn't sure I ever wanted children, and to bring them up at a time when we were about to wage war on our government seemed a horrible idea.
“No one is suggesting now,” he emphasized. He didn't have to further elaborate. I knew what he meant. When we went to bed together at night, we went to sleep. Nothing happened between us except for a goodnight kiss. We were careful and Joshua probably thought we were too careful, but I didn't care. I loved him but I wasn't ready for our world to get thrown off its axis again. I felt comfortable, and settling into this new life, I wasn't ready for any big surprises.
“We'll work on it, okay?” I offered, moving my legs to let him sit on the sofa with me. Once he sat down, I laid my legs back down on him, smiling weakly as I felt his eyes on me.
“I love you, Olive. I just feel like you keep me at arm's length too often.”
I hated hurting Joshua. It was never my intention. I knew he was right though—I had been acting that way, not out of anger or because I loved him any less. “I guess I'm scared,” I admitted. “Afraid that if we get too close, I'll want to do some things with you that we can't.” I felt my cheeks blush in the glow from the fire.
He shifted closer, pulling me into his lap, and I felt my heart quicken. “At least we're engaged,” he tried to make light of the situation.
“We are,” I agreed, leaning closer, resting my forehead against his. “Were you upset today when Collins insisted we both stay in town when the others get to explore the eastern cities?”
Joshua laughed. “Not really. I'm glad for the quiet time. I'm sure they expect us to continue our training and you to help Elsa in the lab, which will be easier than traveling the Gravelands.”
“True.” I lifted my head, my lips gently touching his cheek. “I guess I was looking for an adventure.”
“You're such an adrenaline junkie,” he teased.
“Yes, that's me.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “You know me so well.”
His hand reached out, stroking my cheek. His thumb grazed over the slight scratch. “What happened?” He asked. “And why weren't you wearing shoes at the council meeting?”
My eyes avoided his stare as I glanced at the fire. “You don't want to know.”
From the corner of my eye I caught Joshua's stare. I shifted, meeting his gaze. “I do,” he insisted.
“I decided to walk down to the river. I know it's cold outside but it's nice not to worry about carrying my shoes back after I get my feet wet.”
Joshua laughed, shaking his head. “It's January and freezing outside. Are you crazy?”
“I just might be,” I smiled. “On the way back, Margo decided it was time to move up to the next level of training. Which, I should warn you, is pretty damn tough.” His thumb moved over the slight scab on my cheek. I wondered how bad it looked. I could feel the slightest bit of pain and reached for his hand, moving it from my broken skin. “It looks worse than it is,” I insisted, not wanting to worry him.
“What do you mean, the next level of training?” Joshua asked, trying to understand my words. “The element of surprise,” I answered. At least that's what I thought Margo had attempted because she certainly scared me in showing up near the river. She must have followed me out of Shadow. “Just, watch your back, okay?”
Joshua leaned in, dropping a gentle kiss to my cheek. “I always do.”
CHAPTER 3
Joshua spent much of the morning helping Jaxon pack up the vehicle, explaining as much as he'd known about Haven in hopes of helping them on their journey to Torv and Spade.
I sat on the front step of the porch, watching. Maybe I was a little bitter at not being entrusted with the mission. I understood their reasons and motivations for making me stay but I didn't have to like it.
Mason swung a bag into the trunk of the car—the one we'd brought into town that night barely eight months ago. So much had happened in such a short time and it felt like it was only yesterday.
I stood in the gymnasium and felt a blast of cool air as Margo stalked in. “Jaxon, what are you doing in here?”
“Training Olivia,” he snapped. “We only have a few months to get her caught up to speed with what we know. Collins suggested I work on glamour training today. Otherwise, they'll see right through the charade.”
Margo sighed, walking up to me as she reached for a strand of my reddened hair. “Not enough berries in the world to cover your entire face. Do you think a few months is enough? A little stress and she'll fall apart.”
“I won't fall apart.” I was adamant. “I'm more than capable, I just need to be trained.” My voice was firm, sharp. If anyone else could pretend to look different, so could I.
Margo rolled her eyes. “I know you think you can change the world, Olivia, but it first starts in here.” She tapped my chest, pointing at my heart. I couldn't help but give her a peculiar look, confused. “Hair dye works for people who don't know what you look like. It won't be enough in Genesis.”
“I know.” I nodded in agreement. “That's why Jaxon promised to help.”
Jaxon cleared his throat. “Are
you done, Margo? Or are you going to give us a hand?”
“Olivia isn't the only one who needs to sharpen her skills,” Margo quipped, staring pointedly at Jaxon. I had no idea what they were talking about and didn't even consider interrupting.
The corners of Jaxon's lips curved upwards smugly. “You think I'm not prepared? I've got it covered,” he assured Margo. “I'll prove it.” Jaxon's eyes landed on me, as did Margo's. I felt my pulse quicken and my cheeks flush. With one foot in front of the other, I stepped closer to Jaxon, invading his personal space, just a breath apart from him. My eyes refused to leave his and Jaxon's gaze never wavered. “Kiss me,” he murmured. The breath caught in my throat as my heart leapt in my chest. My thoughts clouded, my mind in a terrible fog as I inched closer, feeling his breath mingling with mine. My eyes closed as my hand reached out for his cheek, my fingers grazing the slight stubble forming on his jaw. Something was terribly wrong. Why was I doing this? I seemed to be cast under a spell, unable to think, unable to stop myself, even if I wanted to.
“Jaxon, enough!” Margo shouted and just as quickly Jaxon glanced away the spell broke. My eyes blinked once, twice—I was closer to Jaxon than I should have been. I cleared my throat uncomfortably, moving my hand off his warm flesh. My hand dropped down to my side and I took a step back.
“What just happened?” I asked, feeling as if I'd been dreaming: the thoughts were incredibly close but not quite easy to remember.
Jaxon laughed, raising an eyebrow at Margo. “Do you still think I need to work on my skills?”
Margo smiled, shaking her head in dismay. “Yes, you should have made her forget completely what you've just done.”
Jaxon stared at me, seriousness returning to his face. “You won't tell anyone about our training session today, will you?” Had I just tried to kiss Jaxon? What was I thinking? I was in love with Joshua!
“What did you do to me?” My eyes narrowed, frustrated and confused. I didn't have feelings for Jaxon, why had I just done that?
