by Mark Mihalko
Where do I go from here? My entry yesterday was so alive and full of emotion; it will be hard to follow. I know, I will get back to our expecting mother and see how she is holding up in this untamed world.
I
February 14 (continued),
I can’t believe how exhausted I am, between the distance and you inside me, I can barely function. I need to find us some shelter soon. I know stopping was a risk, but the road to the cemetery is in sight! Thank God for that, he is definitely watching over us tonight. If I remember correctly, that house I have written about is just across the cemetery. The last time I was up here, I thought is was empty. Maybe it is abandoned. Come to think about it, I have never seen anyone there and I think it is boarded up.
I am just thankful that those things slacked off. I wish I knew what was really happening out there; it is insane. Eli, my words in this journal can’t do this ordeal the justice it deserves. When you get older, you will understand the surrealistic visions, I mean, there are no cars. When you read this, let that sink in for a second, the roads are empty. Empty, why, we cannot be the only ones that have survived to this point. There have to be others out there; besides, I need someone to help me take care of you.
Wow, I have been so panic struck that I did not think of that at all. What am I to do if I go into labor? Who will help with the delivery? Damn, I hope there is someone around. I changed my mind; I want someone at that house as long as it isn’t one of those loathsome strangers that have driven us this far. This may sound crazy, but I feel like Little Red Riding Hood hiding from the wolf. In this case, I hope that the wolf has not already eaten grandma.
In time, I will tell you all of those nursery rhymes. I will start when we get to the house. I may have to buy a book. though, or maybe, download one, or buy one on CD. I will be honest with you; I suck at nursery rhymes. Not your dad, he knows them all by heart. Damn him, where is he when I need him?
Alright, I am almost ready to go again and it looks as if we are in luck, the cemetery gates are open. We can cut through here and make it to the house faster. It looks like we will be able to relax in no time. Once we get there, I promise, I will tell you one of those rhymes. Which one would you like to hear? Humpty Dumpty? I hope that one works, I think I know all of the words. If not, I can at least make something up. Hold on; I love you!
II
Incredible, such resolve in the face of devastation. To think that she is pregnant, and can stand alone in the face of these vile creatures, while protecting her unborn child. If only everyone could be that strong or that resilient in the face of adversity. Maybe if more people had that type of strength, this nightmare would have never taken place.
Of course, all of these accounts are not centered on love or even survival. Some accounts definitely have tones that are more sinister. Personally, I cannot for the life of me understand the meaning of the religious leader, why is he here, what does he want, where did he come from? All I know is that his preaching upon the mount is organizing the infected faster than they can be defeated.
The Almighty spoke and the earth trembled
Thou shall drive the infidels into the Chasm of Flame
Their sins cleansed at the hand of the father
The Great Beast opened his mouth at the base of the mount
And laughed at their despair
(The Revelation of Moloch 3.13)
My children, my flock, behold the mighty beast, his teeth glistening in sunlight, waiting for our offering. At last, the purification of the heretics is at hand. We must show them the light, the way of our Father.
Look, there are three nonbelievers at the mouth. Look at their disregard for the Great Beast. Praise god for allowing us the ability to watch their refinement; to see them repent at the hand of the Father. Their deliverance lies before them. Praise be, as our Lord has prophesized, our congregation will grow.
Soon, we shall discover more sinners awaiting baptism along our path. Their wills’ broken by the deception of faith. We must rise up and show them the way to eternal glory. We must lead them to the forgiveness of their original sin, to share the flesh and blood of our father, the host of redemption.
Let us pray
Lord of Light
We saw three sinners cross our path in search of liberation
Their actions unkind, yet, they wait for deliverance from the grand plague
Give us the strength to lead them into the garden
The vigor to dine on the fruit
Absolving their damnation for eternity
They know not of your high and holy name
Nor the legend of your might
Pardon them from their abstinence and misdeeds
Give them the purity of your forgiveness
The salvation they seek
In your name, we pray
Amen
III
I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that the infected had a majority of their minds left intact. Every time I dive into the religious ramblings, I cannot help but be amazed at the focus, and message. It is incredible how his scriptures mirrored the landscape and events. You have no idea how much I would love to get my hands on a copy of his bible, or at least a journal of his prayers.
As I think about it now, it should be no surprise that an alternate religion seemed to rise from the ashes during this outbreak. With the constant attack on Christians, the blind support for radical Islam, and the desire of the New World Order to create a one-world religion, it would make sense. Hell, even the Catholics had issues, as their newly elected liberal pope has sent many of the most devout bishops into a death spiral with his once considered heretical thoughts rising to the forefront of his teachings.
Well, enough about that. Are you cold? It is freezing in here and those random voices that have infiltrated my mind have started screaming again. I can almost feel their pain as these screams creep into my soul. I wonder if that is what it felt like being on the road fighting for your life. I wonder if that is what our lesbian with a shotgun was feeling as she made her way through the tunnel.
I am half way through the tunnel and there is not a monster in sight. So far, this has been easier than I expected, yet, I keep hearing sounds coming from behind me. Why are they still following me? Damn, I am exhausted, I need to stop, and I need a break. At least they are not in front of me; I swear I have no energy to take on that army of undead and it seems like they are everywhere.
Where are all of the people, especially the fucking police? Those damn bastards are never around unless they are conducting an illegal checkpoint to infringe on my liberties. I swear I cannot be the only one left. Let me tell you; there is no way I intend on spending my life alone, especially on the god-forsaken planet. At this point, I think I would be better off on Mars. At least, those life forms are not cannibals like these creatures. God, wh-wh-what is that smell, that rot?
From the looks (and smell) of it, they have already been through here. The devastation is just like that of the city, everything torn to shreds. Funny, I do not see any remains either. I wonder, no, they cannot be regenerating. Nothing has the capacity to come back to life. Am I wrong? God, I hope that I am wrong.
Fuck that would mean, no, not my beautiful Esther. She cannot. There was, was nothing left to her. That inhuman scum was devouring her intestines, mutilating her soft skin; he was devouring her lovely face. Her eyes, I can still see the despair in her eyes, what torture, and torment. I swear I am going to fuck them all over as soon as I can find a safe haven. I am going to do whatever I have to do to make these pieces of shit burn in Hell. Not just for you dear, but for all of the innocents that have been caught in their web. Finally, the light, there is the light. Wait, what is that, footsteps? I must hurry to the light; hose sounds are closing in.
IV
Jeez, look at the time. I cannot believe how late it is getting. Honestly, it feels as if I just sat down at this computer to get some work done. Even after this time trying to becom
e a writer, I am still amazed at how fast time moves when I am immersed in this world. Everything would be perfect if I didn’t become one with the stories. I can feel the emotions, smell the decomposed flesh of the victims, and even hear their screams. Those are the worst, the screams, and once they start, they do not go away. Please, God, make them stop, I cannot take them anymore.
Damn, it is late. I should go to bed; I am exhausted. 9:57, I must get some sleep. No, not yet, I have one more account set out for tonight and I must finish it. I cannot be weak, as the weakness got our beloved nation into this ordeal in the first place. Had we stood up against the tyrants early on, and spoke the truths that lay before us, maybe this despicable disease would have stayed in the lab. Unfortunately, it did not, and ironically, it became the spark that started this mass awakening that is taking place today. With that in mind, now would be the perfect time to check in on those responsible for out dilemma. Maybe another one will get the treatment they deserve.
(Play) Damn it Paul, why? Mark, John, please be careful, I cannot lose another. My heart can only take so much of this devastation. You know, Paul was like a brother to me. He challenged me to take risks, to rise above the data. Regrettably, those challenges may have sit at the heart of this plague. Please, guys, stay safe; knowing this outbreak is my fault is punishment enough. I do not need to witness any more destruction.
Finally, the tunnel, we are almost safe. We do not have long, though, and cannot afford to take much time regrouping. Look, over there. Across the bridge, a large mass of those creatures appears ready to pounce. Damn it, what have I done? From the look of it, we have little time to catch our breath, and we must keep moving through the tunnel.
I wonder who that was that was in front of us; I wonder where they are going. At least that makes four of us that have survived this massacre. Incredible, four humans are unaffected, that is impossible, there has to be more. At least, I hope that was human, it could just be us; I did not get a great look at the other one.
Fuck, here they come, run! Damn it, I am too old for this shit and cannot take much more. It reminds me of days on that research vessel in the Persian Gulf where we would run twice a year because of some stupid policy. That shit does not seem so senseless now; I wish I were still working out.
Focus, I must focus. The data I have here has to provide an answer. Where did I go wrong with that vaccine? What triggered this rapid change in our subjects? Flesh, why the flesh? I wonder… (Stop)
Chapter Ten
“Now His Messiah Has Shown His Authority…”
October 24
Stop, please stop, these voices, these screams are destroying me. It has to be the stress, and the doctors warned if I did not stop working on this project; I would go insane. Hell, I am already there, why stop now? You know, insanity does run in the family. I remember my grandmother; she was not right at all. She used to talk all the time about the “outbreak” and how that beautiful blonde girl was attacked in the cemetery. I always thought she was talking about Night of the Living Dead, but who knows, maybe this has happened before.
Shut up! What the fuck do you want? Why won’t you leave me alone? Those damn cries again, I wish I knew where they were coming from. That way I could just tell them in person to shut the fuck up. Or better yet, make them shut up. Thank you! Now, where was I? Oh yes, that badass chick that annihilates everything in her path. I like her. She reminds me of someone I was once close to. I wonder where she is at, could she have survived. The last I heard from her she was battling cancer. Oh well, it is probably better if I don’t know.
I
Finally, the end of the tubes, at last, I never thought that tunnel would seem so long. Even when I was stuck in traffic inside it always seemed so peaceful; the darkness always made me feel at home. Now, I fear the darkness for what it may bring tonight. If I do not find shelter soon, I may not survive until morning.
There it is again. That smell, that overwhelming fragrance of rot! Those footsteps are gaining ground; I can almost hear them breathing. Thankfully, it is still daylight; I think that I can make a few more miles before I have to stop, although I think I could.
I still cannot believe you are gone. All of the plans and all of our dreams, Esther, I will always love you. Even if I eventually have to make you look like your idol, you know, John F. Kennedy. Ironic, I never thought you would live that Jesus and Mary Chain song. You know the one, Blown away on a sunny day, what was that songs name?
Damn it! Why I can’t remember that songs name?
Why? I’ll tell you why. I was such a miserable partner. You deserved better than me. You deserved someone who could have protected you. I knew I should have paid more attention to your likes. No, I should have paid more attention to you. You are my world. No, you are everything.
Fuck, I hate this. I hate those vile beasts that feasted on you; that destroyed our future. I swear to you, Esther, I will kill as many as those motherfuckers as I can. They will pay for this pain, for your death. If it is the last this I do, I swear, they will pay for destroying our lives.
Reverence, I think that is it. Yeah, it was Reverence,
II
Every time I start to dive into her words, I can feel the pain. She must have loved Esther more than anyone could ever imagine. I knew love like that once, but that was many years ago before this plague of destruction tainted out soil. Now, who would love me? Who would deal with me, and the splintered reality that I live in? My thoughts exactly, now, where was I?
Oh yes, our pilgrimage with the religious one (and people tell me that I am crazy). This one keeps getting stranger every time I break into his verse. Honestly, I have no idea what to expect when I start unveiling his words. It is hard to believe that his words could organize this horde so quickly. If someone could discover his secret, the world would be in trouble.
The mass heard God profess his wisdom to his son
Behold, the great journey through damnation lies ahead
Lead your minion through the Mouth of Hecate to the solemn grotto
There, surrounded by fern and oak, her mighty gate has opened
And the chosen one awaits your entrance
(The Revelation of Moloch 7.4)
Listen to the sinners disperse, their pulse betraying their desires, their scent drawing us near. Do you hear another banquet calling to us? Indeed, it anticipates us. Come, follow me, before we reach the meadow, our congregation must partake in this communion.
Mighty Melek Taus, thank you for enlightening our journey and opening your mouth to reveal the path of righteousness. Did you leave the malefactors for us? Or did you devour them for desecrating your sanctity? Protect us as we pass through your depths, the search for the prophesized one leads us this way. Our journey to Mecca nears an end. Only there, may our faithful providence be revealed.
Through the horizon, I can sense another amongst the serpents. Can you feel him? His young heart calls to me for salvation and the cravings flowing through his veins are high. Hmmm, his baptism upon the embers of darkness has been foretold. Unborn, yet already in league with our father, yes, the fabled apostle will ascend to the throne. At last, our mighty general will rise from his refuge and show us the way to salvation.
Let us pray
Lord of Light
Give us the strength to continue our mission
Help us enlighten the non-believers with your gospel
Leading them to the fruits of indulgence upon your tree
We bow before thee, alone, preparing for communion
Waiting to rise as one, in thy name
Ignite the eternal flame of power for us to follow
As we maneuver through this unforgiving wasteland
Thy prophecy at hand
In your name, we pray
Amen
III
Ironically, when I venture into the religious aspects of this crazy outbreak, I feel overwhelmed by some emotion. I can’t explain it; every passing word, and syllable draws me into the
ordeal again and makes me want to profess all of my sins. It’s funny, yesterday when I was battling another one of those headaches from the phantom screams that echo through my apartment, I felt the warmth of his gospel as I thought about the words and their meanings.
What, sorry, something just shut up! Please, I beg of you stop, please. I can’t take it anymore, who are you? Why won’t you leave me alone? Please, shut the hell up.
(Click) The warmth from the light in front calls to me; your splendor lay ahead.
I can feel you near me, and I know I am closing our distance with every step, with every breath. Gabrielle, is that your name angel? Are you the one crying out for my touch, my embrace?
I believe that the other is following you as well. I can still smell her scent. Her aura surrounds me; devours my senses as you consume my mind. It is you; I crave with all my heart? It is you, who will make me whole, alive, to face eternity and share forever? There, in the shadows, I can see her. Amazingly, he calm demeanor transcends the panic. What vigor she must possess. Her brain must be delicious, her sacred font oozing with delight. I need to taste her; I must dine on her blessed loins and sip from her rosy fountain.
Don’t worry love it will only be dinner. I could never share my bed with another. It is strange, but somehow and someway, we share what seems to be a permanent bond; energy so strong, so pure, I can feel it liven my veins when my mind embraces you. This relationship erases every doubt that clouds my reality. Gabrielle, I long to hold you for the first time, I savor the bitterness of your neck and the tenderness in your kiss. Gabrielle, please give me a sign. I beg of you, please, I must find you. I must consummate this unyielding passion and fulfill all of our dreams. (Click)
IV
I’m so sorry for the abrupt disappearance earlier, but those noises were becoming too much. Plus, it did give me a chance to try out some of the new software I was able to acquire during my last trip to the clinic. It’s amazing how willing they are to help now when they and their sorry ass minions were nowhere to be found during the outbreak (I hope that underground bunker treated you well- bastards). Damn government scum, maybe someday karma will return the favor when the aliens arrive and send a probe so far up their ass-- Damn, sorry, I have to calm down before a headache comes back.
