by Mark Mihalko
For our strength is fulfilled by your divinity
And our destiny is fulfilled by your prudence
In your name, we pray
Amen
II
Shut up! My head is pounding. I can’t believe how bad these headaches have become. Plus, with these damn kids, their costumes, and the delight they take at watching my misery increase with every rap upon the door. At one time, I used to love this time of the year, this season. Honestly, who wouldn’t? Between the cooler temperatures, the legends, and the lore, it was incredible. I remember spending hours reading about the Salem Witch Trials, the occult, and the local supernatural folklore, but not now. Those are just memories of a life long forgotten.
I have not forgotten about you baby. I never would forget what we had. You are my hero, and the one giving me the courage to push forward with this manuscript. Have you forgiven me yet? Would you return to share my bed, to make love to me? What, shut up, what am I saying? I failed you; I watched them take you, and I watched them consume your flesh. Your entrails were likely spread everywhere. I am still disturbed by the thought, I can almost see them standing over you like a sacrifice upon an altar. They are violating you in unfathomable ways; I can almost hear the crunch of your fragile bones as their teeth defiled your beauty and within these visions feel the pain of the claws tearing through your womb.
Just the thought of you still haunts me. The voices and whispers are driving me to the edge of sanity. I can't take much more of the solitude or dreams. They are destroying me. Everywhere I look, I see remnants of you, and I feel your anguish and hear your screams. Every time I close my eyes, I see the crimson streams of tears flowing from your lifeless skull. Know what, you were still smiling; through the agony, the smile never left your face.
I just wonder, are you in Heaven? Did God shine down upon you and grant you a seat in paradise? I wish we could meet again, and I could see your beauty one more time. Unfortunately, that can never happen, for I’m not worthy of eternal glory. I’m a monster; I let you die and did nothing to help you. I am a coward. Shut Up! Please, shut up! These screams must stop! This project, I must force myself to work on it. I have to finish before it kills me. Our scientists, where were they?
III
(Play) This vile disease, what have I done? How could I have created such a mutation? What have I become? It seems like only yesterday all my work was for the good of man. I wanted to save humanity from the devastating plagues that have ravaged our world. I wanted to eradicate all disease and save the planet. I wanted to save lives, not start the apocalypse.
Damn you Bethesda, why did I let you corrupt me? I thought we were saving people, not destroying them. They were so young; pure, and we took advantage of their helplessness. We became monsters. Our experiments, the suffering, the brainwashing, it sullied them. Their losses, their torment, all left debilitating scars hidden deep within them. Yes, we cannot see them, but they are there creating a single torture chamber in their minds. And we are responsible. Is this my punishment?
I cannot believe how those days early in my internship changed me. I embraced the depravity; I became a monster. First, it was the dark ops I was recruited for in rogue CIA labs such as Dulce, Montauk, and Homan Square and programs such as Ultra, Search, and Naomi. We started with their minds, and to an extent, their souls. We couldn't stay there, though; we had to play God. Now, it's much worse; we started experimenting on their bodies.
Indeed, I have become a monster. I am just like those rancid beasts outside. I should be out there with them; I should be a mindless vassal craving the flesh of man, tracking everyone in search for my next meal. That's why we're here trapped inside this decaying chamber. That is why we will likely die in here. My notes, yes, my notes; the secret to what is happening must be there. Was it one of the drugs, or trial vaccines? I wouldn't think so; there was no sign of any crazy side effects in the rats. They were all healthy, weren't they? Was I blinded by the potential accolades and overlooked something?
My journals, the answers have to be in my journals. I have to wonder, though, are we the only ones suffering through this strange uprising? Is this happening at other facilities? If that's the case, this may not be my fault. Maybe I am blaming myself for nothing. Yes, that's it. No, can't get excited, I know the truth. It was I; it has always been me. I am a monster. (Stop)
IV
Stop, I have to stop it tonight. As much as I want to continue, especially with the revelation that Doctor Mengele is finally reaching the conclusion that many of us have already achieved; he’s a piece of shit! Figures, just when reality starts to set in with one of the people I am documenting, these damn voices return. Why, why did these voices have to come back? Why Lord, can you tell me that? If you are truly the almighty, all-knowing creator, why have you cursed me into damnation?
I have tried to understand, but I just can’t do it. I can’t go on much longer. My head feels as if it’s about to explode. I have no choice but to take these godforsaken pills and lock myself in my room. I just have to make these screams go away. I know I should have done that earlier; in fact, I should have just secluded myself all day. That way those damn kids outside wouldn’t be harassing me. I swear those heathens outside are far worse than the creatures I am documenting on these pages.
Fuck, I am so sorry about this, I didn't mean to have another set of entries cut short because of my afflictions. Go away already! I want to keep rolling; I want to finish this manuscript so the truth can be known. It doesn't look like that will happen, though. Maybe later once everything calms down, I'll be able to return to sanity and finish this entry. God, I hope I can, I have to know what he finds.
I may also have to make a trip into the dark web though before I jump back into stuff. I want to look up some of these programs. I have heard about MK Ultra, but what it Search and Naomi? And, what is the Bethesda he mentions? I know it is a Naval hospital and medical center; I have been there a few times. I just can't imagine there being a Deep State, black ops lab there; especially when he mentions Dulce and Montauk in a separate thought. I guess it could be underground like Montauk, but still, that just feels like a stretch.
Shut up already! These damn kids are killing me tonight. Why aren’t you done with the fucking candy already? Isn’t Halloween over? Leave me alone, please, I can’t take it anymore. Go away! Stop calling me, stop the knocking, and just leave me alone. Please, just let this dreadful night come to an end.
Chapter Seventeen
“…And upon his heads the name of blasphemy.”
November 4
I know I haven’t written anything for a few days, but I haven’t had the energy to get back to the computer. I changed medication, and the adjustment period has made me quite lethargic. Couple that with the dismal weather, and I just have not had the motivation to do anything. The weather has been so gray and dreary, I can’t believe the amount of rain that has come down, and you would think we were stuck in a hurricane. I had better be quiet, if Al Gore heard me say that, he would be here pushing for more carbon taxes and want to limit my electricity.
I will apologize now; I also hadn’t done much research on the operations mentioned by our scientist before I had to stop the other night. I couldn’t find the energy for that either. I did make it to the clinic for a group session before having my medication changed. It was strange; I swear I saw one of those militarized convoys through the mist as I was walking over there. I know that’s impossible, those have been gone for a few years. Plus, I doubt they would be brazen enough to try to sneak into the city with their pawn Scotereo leaving office. This could be a different time and place, one where the laws of the land are enforced.
Incredibly, that was the last hallucination type of event to hit me. With this new experimental drug, all of the visions and voices have disappeared. Other than the sluggishness, I feel like a new man. Maybe this combination of medications and therapy are finally starting to work. I guess only time will tell, right?
&nbs
p; All is not perfect, though, the emptiness I feel inside is there, and I still have a void in my heart that nothing has been able to fill. When I lost you, I lost a part of myself. I lost who I was and who I was going to be. I honestly never realized how much you meant to me until it was too late. Now, I am stuck with just memories and pictures, all of my hopes and dreams are gone.
Speaking of being too late, our scientist seemed to be waking to some harsh facts. For the first time, I believe he realizes that the agencies he served are not what they seem. They are not out for the good of mankind; they are evil. They are searching for world domination and population control. If only he would have realized this earlier, we may not be here right now. Although, as compartmentalized as these organizations are and with the multifaceted web of shadow activities also involved with these operations, that was likely impossible.
I
(Play) What have I missed? As I go through this data, none of the drugs that were used should have ever created such a deadly contagion. The cause of this outbreak seems to sit outside the bounds of my work. I have looked deep into my notes, the combination of Xanoxopan and Detrohydrozine have been through a rigorous set of independent tests and both animal and human trials over the past decade, and no side effects such as this have ever been recorded. Hell, even the rats did not go crazy.
According to this data, the worst side effect was an occasional case of hemorrhaging, especially from the eyes, but those were isolated to test subjects that showed signs of an iron deficiency. There was nothing like this, though. What is different now? What is the alien antibody that is causing such a devastating side effect on everyone that has come in contact with this experiment?
Mark, do you happen to have the results of the last blood test after you ran them through the mass spectrometer? I can't remember if I ever broke those numbers down and entered them into the medical records. That data could show us something we may have overlooked. Thanks; let me see what we have. 30 percent Xanoxopan, 40 percent Detrohydrozine, 8 percent Barium, 15 percent Aluminum, and 7 percent Thorium? What the hell, where did that combination come from? Aluminum, Barium, and Thorium, I have never seen that combination of chemicals in a lab setting (especially mine). There was a rumor that a Dr. Tsarnovski was experimenting with it as a way of cooling the atmosphere, but that was back in the early1990s.
Fucking bastards, I never took those damn chemtrails outside into account when working out my hypothesis. The air we breathe could impact how our bodies react to certain substances, especially the chemtrail cocktails that are being developed. I have heard whispers that the super flu is being developed that can be triggered by the chemical compounds released into the atmosphere. I honestly thought it was a joke; no one would want to do that, would they? I swear, if this is what caused this outbreak, I will get even with everyone involved and expose them for the world to see.
Mark, I bet this is where the contamination entered into our equation. Now, we need to prove this theory, somehow, we need to test the air outside, especially if they are spraying. We need t find a lab, or a house, and capture one of those creatures. We need their blood to compare against our records and the air samples. If we can verify our findings, we should be able to find (or develop) a cure. (Stop)
II
Fucking chemtrails! I knew they were more than just exhaust residue streams from the new jetliners. I have been saying that forever, and being called crazy the whole time. No one ever wants to hear the truth. My evidence was obvious and simple, why didn't I see these trails when I was a kid? When was the technology not as advanced? The answer is simple because they didn't exist. It wasn't until that fucker George Prescott was in office that they started popping up across the sky. Next thing you know, that bastard Gore started talking about extinction from global warming melting the ice caps. Coincidence? I don't believe coincidences exist.
Come to think of it, I haven't seen any of them in the skies over the past few years. I know the travel industry and the airlines have suffered quite a bit during this recession, but there are still planes in the sky every day and if this is just exhaust gas, why have the trails dissipated?
The further I get into this project, it becomes clear that the United Nations sits at the heart of the majority of problems that pop up throughout the world. Those fucking bastards! I have been telling you throughout this project that those globalist dictators should be held accountable, do you agree with me yet? Don’t you think those pieces of shit should hang for their crimes against humanity? Public execution that would make a statement and maybe the elites would start to back off with their plans of world domination.
Hopefully, projects such as this one and some of the other outlets that are fighting the state-run narrative will start to have an impact. Maybe people across the globe will continue to wake up and be willing to expose the truth to the masses. It's time to face the reality that those fucking elite assholes want us dead. They want the planet for themselves in an exact manner that the Guidestones outline. To that, I say, fuck you!
Whew, sorry about the rambling, sometimes I can't control my emotions and that was one of them. That outburst did give me some added motivation to dive back into things. I think this would be a superb time to gain some calm and resolve. I believe that we should get back to our beautiful Gabrielle and her unborn son. I wonder what happened since we left off. If I remember right, she was facing some turmoil after she locked herself in the basement of that house.
III
February 15 (Continued),
Thank God baby, it was just a cat behind that door. I guess that is the next best thing to my imagination. I was so scared that it would be one of those beasts, and honestly, I wasn’t ready for that. I am exhausted. Between all of the running and emotional turmoil, I can’t take much more before I collapse. Plus, you have been battering my insides lately. I know I swore you would never play football, but you may have a future as a kicker. You hear that right, not soccer, football. Your father always said soccer was a girl’s sport and I agree with him.
Don't you worry, though; we will get some rest soon. But, before we can do that and take our nap, I owe you a story. As I was checking the door, I thought of a perfect one for tonight. It may sound a little different than the standard classics, but it is rooted in the fabled world of Aesop. This one is called The Alien on the Farm, and I wrote it a few years ago for a college class when you were only a dream.
I know that you probably don’t understand all of this, but because of the strange situation we are in, I think this story will fit the mood. After we survive, when you are older and I finally allow you to read this journal, ask me to see the copy of the book I had made. I hoped (OK knew) that someday I would have a child and I wanted to ensure that they had some reading material that sat outside the mainstream selections.
Now onto that story, then, finally, we can get some well-deserved sleep. I love you…
IV
I can’t believe how alive I feel on this new medication. In the past, by this point in the evening, the visions and voices would be overtaking my mind. There would be no way that I could be moving forward with anything, especially after the emotional account that I just finished. Plus, I am so alive, so coherent; everything is starting to make more sense and it has become easier to put pieces together.
Looking back at the last account, that children’s book sounds interesting, aliens have always fascinated me. Ever since I heard the story about the Kecksburg UFO incident, I consumed everything I could find on the subject. I can’t believe that we are the only being in the universe. Think about it, with the sheer size of the cosmos; it would be impossible to see no other form of life out there.
It's funny, though, there are many similarities between the Kecksburg incident and the account that I am documenting. Not only the general area (Kecksburg is about 40 miles from here) but with the massive build-up of military and government officials at the crash site and in town. Even with the eyewitness accounts, there is no certifie
d government documentation or physical evidence to be found. Around every corner, researchers continually run into crazy roadblocks.
I’m quite familiar with all of this. Years ago, when I was researching Kecksburg for an article I was working on, I couldn’t find one shred of legitimate evidence from the government. Plus, there were a few strange coincidences that took place, that seemed more sinister than real. After a talk with John Predistra (yes, the one from the emails), I submitted a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request for specific case files on Kecksburg. Within days of the submission, a military office threatened to revoke my security clearance. Message received loud and clear…
Over the years, I have continued my research on Kecksburg and just like was the case with my initial research for this project, the government has no documentation on anything that took place during this plague. Nothing, zip, zilch, according to them, nothing happened here. By this point, I am sure if you are reading this, you are convinced I am crazy and imagining all of this, that this entire work is fictional, but I swear that is not the case. All of this happened; I know it did.
Plus, I wasn’t the only one that encountered the different governmental agencies; others faced the organized military apparatuses that were here on our shores. If I thinking straight, when I was sorting through the files, I believe one of our characters had a run-in with a group that appeared to be an international coalition of United Nations soldiers just outside of the tunnels. That is something that I hope would never happen under President Trump (if he is elected). Although, I don’t think any of us know what to expect with him.
Now, where is that account and which character was it? Hold on; I believe it is our mysterious heroine who found her way into that unlocked building. In fact, I’m pretty sure that her observations of those foreign forces take place from inside that building. Now, where was it? Oh, yeah, here it is.
I think I am safe in here. Thank God, it was unlocked. I still wish I had my medication or some more shells. I looked through the downstairs rooms, nothing. No guns, no ammo; there is nothing that I could use as a weapon. Hopefully, daylight will arrive soon and I can make my way to one of those stores without running into trouble out there.
