by H. J. Bellus
“Um. Your brother already paid the bill,” the waitress says, snapping me out the marathon compare and degrade episode playing out in my head.
Her words cause me to inhale the mint I have in my mouth, and the little peppermint fucker lodges deep in my throat. I panic and start pounding on my chest.
“Are you okay, Ma’am?”
Did the cunt really just call me Ma’am while I sit here, clearly choking on a fucking mint? I try to shake my head no, but really just want to flip her off and then kick her in the crotch, but deep down I’m afraid she might suck my foot into her vortex.
I continue to pound on my chest, hoping that the mint will dislodge or at least melt a little, so I can fucking breathe. Do mints melt without much sucking action? Motherfucker! I sure hope they do. What if my last thoughts in life have to do with kicking a waitress in the lady locker, sucking actions, and mints? I panic. Complete panic mode settles in. I practically start flash dancing in front of the cash register, hoping this dumbass will realize, yes, I need motherfucking help, or I’m going to die in Granny’s Diner in a son of a bitching sundress.
“Willow, are you okay?” I hear Miles, coming up from behind me.
I continue to pound on my chest. In one swift movement, he grabs me from behind and gives me one powerful Heimlich or whatever the fuck it’s called, and the mint shoots out of my mouth. Fully relieved to be alive, I slump down and try to catch my breath. The lone mint lay feet away on the ground. I only thought shit like this happens in the movies.
“What happened, Aunt Willow? Are you okay?” Annie asks with tears in her eyes.
I try to answer her but the waitress beats me to it. “She came up here to pay, and I let her know that her brother took care of it. At the mention of brother, she started choking on that mint. But in my defense, I didn’t know you were choking. Next time, you really need to use the International sign for choking, which is placing both hands over your throat, like this.”
I stand back up, and turn to Miles. “I’m going to fucking kill this dumbass with my bare hands in two seconds if you don’t get me the fuck out of here.”
Miles grabs both my hands and smiles back at me. “Lola, I can’t thank you enough for saving my sister’s life. We’ve told her over and over to use the International Choking Sign. She eats way too fast and is just so damn stubborn about using the choking signal. How can I ever repay you, sweet cheeks?”
“You motherfucker,” I hiss.
Miles makes his way to the counter, continuing to flirt with Lola.
“Aunt Wils, I need to go potty.”
“Okay, let’s go,” I say and usher her into the restrooms.
Looking into the mirror, I truly notice for the first time how plain I really am. Willow before Greyson was one firecracker that could give any hussy a run for their money. I tanned, had fake lashes, worked out, and shopped like no one’s business. Now, my auburn wavy hair is always pulled up in a messy bun, I never wear makeup, and I definitely never wear any fashionable clothes. Hell, I’d be happy to wake up every morning and throw on a muumuu. My poisonous relationship with Greyson not only murdered my future, but every single ounce of self-dignity I ever had.
“Did you almost die?” Annie asks while she washes her hands.
“Not really. Almost died of embarrassment,” I reply.
I grab Annie and put her on the counter, then give her paper towels to dry her hands. What I wouldn’t give to go back to her age with no worries.
“Annie, I want you to always remember two things. One, I love you more than anything in this world. Two, never back down from any fight. Win at everything you do, and never let anyone destroy you. Anyone.”
“You know Daddy’s really worried about you.”
“What do you mean, squirt?”
“I hear him talking to Momma at night. He’s sad for you. One night he cried because he wants you to be happy, and he thinks you never will be again. He even said he wishes that his momma was here to help you on that worstest day of your life.”
Placing my forehead down on Annie’s, I let out a sigh of exhaustion. Exhaustion from fighting with my brother, myself, and certainly shattered from battling my demons day in and day out.
“I’ll be happy again. I’ll promise you that. Does your dad know that you heard him talking?”
“Um, no.”
“Don’t listen to your daddy’s convos anymore, okay?”
“So you are gonna be happy again? I mean like really happy again? Like wear lip gloss happy?”
Chuckling at Annie’s question, I nod my head up and down. “And what does lip gloss and happiness have to do with anything, Annie?”
“When you were happy, you always wore lip gloss and I love sneaking into it.”
“Lip gloss it is. Let’s go, pumpkin.”
I grab Annie’s hand and help her to the ground. She doesn’t let go of my hand, so we walk hand in hand out to the parking lot with lip gloss and happiness on our minds. Miles is leaning up against my car, and it’s probably the funniest thing I have ever seen. The sexiest man alive in the state of Colorado propped up against my lime green VW Bug. Hell! He even makes my car look hot.
“Nice ride, brother,” I joke as I help Annie in.
“What took you two divas so long?” Miles asks.
He has his arms propped up on the roof with his head ducked in the car from the driver’s side.
“You know, girl stuff,” I reply, winking at Annie.
“Yep, girl stuff, Miles,” Annie giggles.
“Do you need me to drive there, Peppermint Patty?”
“Absolutely not!”
Then we all burst out in laughter that ricochets in the small car and deserted parking lot. Shutting the passenger door, I walk around to the front of the car and meet Miles. He doesn’t step to the side and neither do I. I’m truly sick and tired of fighting with him now and forever.
“Miles…”
He places his finger on my lips, halting all sound. “Willow, let me go first. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so short with you. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. My mom is sick and takes up a lot of my time and patience, and it’s wearing on me. So, I am sorry.”
“Oh, I was just going to say that I think you and Lola would make a great couple. Much better than Skankzilla that you’ve been banging.”
Miles throws his head back and scrubs both of his hands over his face. “You are fucking impossible, Willow.”
I catch Miles off guard and playfully punch him in the gut while his head is still thrown back.
“I do take back one thing, though. You can still be friends with my family. Annie loves you. Poor girl.”
“Damn, I want to shake you like a teddy bear,” Miles says as he walks past me.
Settling into the car, I can’t help but giggle to myself. The picture of Miles shaking the shit out of me is too much to hold in.
“Okay, buckle up,” I holler.
“Bitches,” Annie whispers from the back seat.
Miles and I whip around in lightning speed. Cheek to cheek, peering back at Annie, we both ask at the same time, “What did you say?”
“Bitches. Lacey says it every time we buckle up. It just came out.”
We both turn around and fail at containing our smiles and laughs. The scariest part of the whole situation is that she sounded just like Lacey when she said it.
Pulling out of the parking lot, Miles asks, “Where are we going now? I can’t wait to see what else you two twits have planned for me tonight.”
“We’re going to buy lip gloss and then we’re going swimming.”
“Yes!” Annie squeals from the back seat. “Yes. Yes. Yes,” she chants as she fist pumps the air.
“Lip gloss?” Miles questions.
I shrug my shoulders. “I’m getting my happy back.”
“One problem, girls. I don’t have swimming trunks,” Miles says.
“My suit is out at Tripp’s, maybe he…”
“Guys.
Like cereal. Don’t worry. I packed one of my momma’s and daddy’s suits for each of you.”
“What?” Miles asks.
“Better be a one piece,” I say.
“Oh, you two, this was too easy. I had this battle won the whole time. I just played you guys like a fiddle.”
I look in the rear view mirror at a very thrilled and smiling Annie, and Miles turns to look at her. In unison we both say, “You little shit.”
Annie and Miles are taking turns diving off the diving board. I can’t quite tell what kind of competition they have going on between the two of them. We stopped at the local grocery store to buy lip gloss and snacks for the pool, because once Annie gets to a pool you have to physically drag her out of it, or plan on waiting for the lifeguard to blow the whistle when the pool closes.
I sensibly snagged some apples, bottles of water, and jerky for extra snacks while at the grocery store. Annie soon joined Miles and his basket when she spied him cleaning out the candy aisle. I’m not sure who was worse. When Miles wanted to buy two king size Reese’s candy bars, I had to interrupt and it was frowned upon by both. He also picked up some deodorant and a notebook. Whatever.
“Willow! Come in. Puhlease,” squeals Annie as she sits on Miles’ shoulders.
The whistle blows and they get busted by the lifeguard. I’m not sure who’s more mature in this situation. I have to hand it to Miles—he’s kept right up with Annie. If she wanted to shoot hoops in the shallow end of the pool, he was shooting hoops with her. If she was trying to balance on the floating snake, he was balancing right along with her and randomly sinking it, dunking all the kids.
My only saving grace on this trip is my swimming suit Annie picked. Milly was quite well-known for racy bikinis back in the day. I’m beyond thrilled that Annie selected a simple black one-piece suit with a scooping back line that rests right above my rear. Miles didn’t fare so well, she packed a pair of Sponge Bob swimming trunks for him. Lacey bought them as a gag gift on Cree’s last birthday. Miles didn’t even blink an eye when she pulled them from her bag.
“C’mon, Aunt Wils,” she begs again.
Pulling my aviators on top of my head to get a better look at the pair begging me from the side of the pool, I give in to their pathetic puppy dog faces.
“Okay, I’ll get in, but I’m not getting my hair wet.”
“Yes,” Annie hollers and fist bumps Miles.
I lay out all three of our princess towels that Annie also packed, so they’ll be nice and warm when we get out.
“Okay, DO NOT get my hair wet, you little freaks,” I warn, as I make my way to the edge of the pool.
“Got it, Wils,” Annie chirps.
I crouch down to ease myself in the pool, when Miles grabs my wrist. My eyes instantly focus on his tattoo sleeve that runs the length of his arm. Koi fish, feathers, and abstract art dance all over his beautiful tan skin. He tugs on my wrist, catching my attention once again. I barely catch the douche canoe’s gleam in his eyes before he tugs harder.
“Miles. Don’t you freaking dare—”
My threat is gurgled out when my mouth fills with water and my ass flies over his head. He sends me soaring over him into the cold water, and I can feel my body do a graceful belly flop. Both my feet hook onto his shoulders, and I soon find myself flailing around to get back above water.
When I finally resurface, I see Annie with her mouth covered, trying to hide her giggles and Miles openly laughing with his head thrown back. A part of me is ready to stomp off and throw a fit, and the other part is armed to retaliate.
“I couldn’t resist, Willow. I mean, who threatens people to not get their hair wet at the pool? Then you positioned yourself perfectly,” Miles says, placing his hands on his chest.
The sight of these two easily bring a smile to my face. Digging deep, I try to hide it, and let them believe they’re in the dog house. Annie gets distracted when one of her friends shows up. She swims away laughing and bragging about what Miles just did.
Miles moves closer and stretches out his hand to grab my floating sunglasses. I watch his every movement with a cautious but apprehensive heart. He places my sunglasses on my face and wraps one arm around my lower back, pulling me in to him. This is the closest we have ever been, and the skin to skin contact is not lost on my brain. Every inch of his skin touching mine is sending shockwaves throughout my body. As if Miles senses my need, he pulls me closer. The water is very cold, but hasn’t stopped a certain part of him from growing. His now very large and hard bulge is pressing against my center.
“Truce, Willow?”
I grab his free hand and wrap it around my back to meet his other hand, and then I wrap my arms around his neck. Miles relaxes into me as I melt right back into him. I want to make my move desperately and ravage his mouth. Ever so desperately, that is. I have an angel on my shoulder rooting me on in different directions, and of course my god damn hormones screaming for me to take a ride. Miles finally rests his forehead on mine, and I think he’s about to go in for the kill with his lips.
I take advantage of his moment of weakness, and lay back, taking him under with me. About half way through the action, he realizes he’s about to be dunked himself, so I tighten my grip and kick his feet out from under him. Growing up with an older brother, I have to learned a lot of low blow tricks.
Miles goes under, and by some strange magical powers, I manage to stay above water. When Miles finally emerges, he has a huge grin on his face.
“You’ve got game, Willow.”
“Truce? “ I ask.
“Nothing would make this shitty day any better. Truce,” Miles says, and goes back to hugging me.
“I didn’t say swimming pool lover. I said truce,” I clarify to him.
“And I said truce to fighting. Not drowning you over and over.”
The last thing I notice are his pearly whites before I go under.
***
Strangely enough, I’ve fallen into a quite comfortable routine with my family and Miles. Miles and I eat our dinner together every night I work late. He finally opened up about his mother and pieces of his childhood and it’s not pretty. His mom is currently dying of alcoholic liver disease. Miles’ carefree and playful personality reflects nothing of his childhood. Someone with a childhood similar to his would be a bitter, pissed off person on a mission to find revenge.
We still fight constantly. It’s mostly me ripping his head off, accusing him of breaking my heart and using me, which is ridiculous considering we’re barely classified as friends.
The first night we went swimming with Annie, Miles bought a notebook at the grocery store. The next morning with my fortune cookie delivery, there sat the simple notebook. On the inside cover, Miles wrote:
Willow,
Deep down, I believe you have extra baggage weighing you down. Lose it. Lose the self you know now in this notebook. I’d be thrilled to meet the real Willow one day.
Miles
The fighting hairs on the back of my neck instantly stood to attention and I threw away the notebook, but ate the cookie, of course. The next morning that damn notebook was in the same place. I ditched it again in a trash can out in the alley, but just like a pesky wart, it ended up back on the counter. Finally, giving up, I tossed it in my purse along with all the other random things I pack around and never use or need, like Annie’s harmonica, some of Rose’s sweet baby lotion, and Mac’s race car. Oh, and I can’t forget the assortment of condoms Lacey stashed in there for me in case of emergencies.
It has been over a month since our first swimming date and we haven’t missed one opportunity to be together. By together, I mean laugh, fight, and dunk each other. I fight every day with my cold hearted bitch persona to keep Miles out of my heart, and I’m afraid it’s a battle that I’ll never be able to win.
Chapter 7
Dentist
“What exactly did I say?”
“Um, Willow, you talked non-stop. You let me know that you’re a fine catc
h and that any man would be lucky to have you, which I totally agree with, by the way.”
Holy shit! I can’t believe how big of an idiot I am. I cover my face to hide the embarrassment that is dribbling off me. Moments later, I feel Miles’ presence and smell his strong scent of straight up man. Miles peels my hands away from my face. His shit-eating grin can only mean one thing…
“You also asked me if I thought you were sexy, and if I would shag you in my sexy ass car.”
“Oh. My. God. That’s enough. Tell me no more. I blame all my actions and words on the pain pills.”
“You don’t want to hear about your magic trick? You explained away all your great shagging talents, and your favorite position in great detail.”
“Enough!”
Miles bursts out in laughter at my obvious display of sheer horror.
“You, Willow, are quite the naughty baker, but don’t worry. I would never take advantage of a drugged up lady, and I’m serious about that,” he says as he continues to laugh.
The first lightning bolt of real pain shoots from my tooth into my jawbone. The pain is fierce and causes me to wince and instinctively grab my face. In moments like these, I really want my momma. Another flash of pain hits immediately and then a continued throbbing that feels like my jawbone is being ice picked by fire ants. This time I squeak out in pain and bury my face in my hoodie. If I wasn’t in so much pain, I would ask Miles why I’m wearing his hoodie.
When another moan of pain escapes me, Miles scoops me up in his arms and places me on his lap.
“Are you okay, Willow?”
“Why does it still hurt? I thought they fixed it?”
Tears start to build up. I grab my injured puffy cheek and rest my head on Miles’ chest.
“The dentist told me they had to do a lot of work and the root canal was deeper than they had anticipated. He said that when the numbing agent wore off, you would feel some pain for awhile. I picked up your prescriptions. You have pain killers and an antibiotic,” Miles says as he hands me two white pills.
