by H. J. Bellus
“Food orders, people. Us men are cooking tonight. Lay it on us,” Tripp blurts.
Everyone shouts out their orders and the three men go in search. Annie stays back and instantly starts stuffing all of her Snickers in Mac’s diaper bags.
“He’s here,” I whisper to Lacey.
“We’re here, too,” she simply replies.
“Yeah, we’re all here with you, Willow,” Milly reassures me.
“Holy Shizz Nuts! I just about popped an ovary when Miles dedicated that song to you and then started dancing the way he did,” Lacey says.
“Me too. Dios Mio!” Milly chimes in.
“I’ll never forget it, that’s for sure.”
“The man is in complete love with you, Willow,” Milly adds.
“I know.”
Mac interrupts with a high pitched squeal while he’s trying to tear open a candy. We all laugh at him before Annie takes it from him and opens it.
“You know, huh?” Lacey questions.
“I know. I’m just scared to say it back, but I do love him. I’m just waiting for the ball to drop or lose my glass slipper. It can’t be this perfect, you know?”
The girls look at each other, and immediately burst out in laughter. “Oh boy, do we ever,” Lacey says.
“Do you see your brother’s limp and that scar on Lacey’s wrist? Those are our lost glass slippers. The one thing about it is, they’re ours to keep forever, we earned them our way, and that’s why they’re so special. You hold onto those for life, if he’s the one, no matter how ugly it gets.”
“Dinner’s served, bitches,” Cree says as the men approach with armloads of food.
We all enjoy dinner on the blanket, and watch Annie eat more candy than real food. Several selfies are taken with cell phones, laughs are shared, and most importantly, my first Halloween is being celebrated where I feel alive.
“Grey,” Annie suddenly squeals, and bolts from the blanket before anyone can stop her.
I look up to see her little spotted tutu flying towards Greyson and his wife, who are strolling by with another couple.
“Annie,” Cree scolds.
“Cree, don’t. She doesn’t know any better,” I warn him.
I stand to go get Annie and put a stop to this suffering once and for all. I am instantly pulled back by Miles, who grabs my hand and leads me over to Annie.
“C’mon, Annie, let Grey get on with his friends,” I say without making eye contact.
“Wait a minute, babe. I want to meet this Greyson,” Miles says from behind me.
“Stop,” I hiss to Miles.
“No, really. I’d like to meet the guy who chased you right into my arms.”
Hoisting Annie up in my arms, I turn to walk away, knowing I’m not going to win this battle, and grab Miles’ hand, silently begging for him to be the bigger person and walk away.
Miles follows, and I realize I have to let it go. I have to let go of all of my past. Turning around, I say, “Roxy, I never congratulated you on your pregnancy. I wish both of you nothing but the best. You two are truly perfect for each other.”
Turning back around, I smile brightly at my future and lay a big ol’ public kiss on Miles.
“Eeewww,” Annnie moans.
I put her down and watch her run back to the blanket.
“Miles.”
“Willow.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I go in for another long kiss.
“Let me in,” I whisper against his lips.
Miles growls, grabs me by the ass and hoists me up around his center. I take advantage of my slight height difference and delve into him. He opens up and I explore his mouth as if kissing him for the first time. Actually, this is our first kiss. I am finally free from the invisible bonds of hell that Greyson and my past have held me prisoner for so many years.
“Get a room, you sickos,” I hear Lacey holler.
I pull back and giggle, and take one final look at Greyson, who obviously was also enjoying our little show, and I smile at the fucker.
Miles must feel my smile against his cheek because he whispers to me, “You do know that I’m going beat the fuck out of that puke, right? And trust me, baby, I never lose a fight. Used to fight for grocery money growing up. Nobody in the neighborhood would take me on.”
“Thanks for sharing, baby,” I whisper back to him.
“Your food is getting cold and eaten by Lacey, you two love birds,” Milly shouts.
Miles makes his way with me in his arms back over to the blanket. We settle in and finish our dinner together.
Milly packs up Annie and Mac and heads home early. By Annie’s fourth sugar melt down and Mac puking chocolate everywhere, she had had enough Halloween fun for the year, she declared.
The rest of us stay behind to pick up and visit a little more. Milly made Cree stay and enjoy the festivities, as she put it. I know deep down her heart was beaming with pride that Cree was with his family.
Since Annie was missing from our posse, I got the privilege of riding piggy back on Miles’ back on our way out to the parking lot.
“You know that gives a whole new meaning to doggy style,” Lacey jokes.
“Yeah, shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Tripp asks.
“Guess we know who wears the pants in that puppy love relationship,” Cree adds.
By this point, we’re all laughing so hard that I barely hear my name as we reach Miles’ car. We all turn and see Greyson standing there alone and out of breath.
“Willow, can I talk to you?”
Tripp steps up in front of Miles and addresses the situation. “You sure in the fuck can’t.”
“You got something to say, Greyson, then you say it here with all of us. I promised Willow that I wouldn’t come after you. Do you know how fucking hard it was not to come choke the living shit out of you? Now my sister is on the right fucking track and you want a word with her. I don’t fucking think so, you worthless puke,” Cree hisses as he closes in on Greyson.
“Stop,” I demand. “Let him talk and we’ll leave this behind us forever. I’m staying here, so go on… what do you have to say?”
Greyson hangs his head low, and starts to speak. “I’m sorry. So sorry for it all. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret my decision and leaving you behind. I love you, Willow, and always have. I was a selfish bastard.”
“That’s fucking it,” Tripp roars, and lunges for Greyson.
Miles sticks out his arm and stops Tripp and gently puts me down on the ground.
“I have to,” he whispers.
“No, don’t. He’s not worth it, Miles.”
Lacey grabs me from behind and whispers into my ear, “Let him do it, Wils. He’s earning his glass slipper.”
I hear Miles tell Tripp to back off because this is his fight to fight. With hesitation, Tripp steps back and allows Miles to step front and center.
“You love her, huh?”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t know who you are, but you know nothing about me or Willow,” Greyson replies.
“You just met your worst fucking nightmare.”
This time Greyson moves in on Miles, ready to fight.
“Lacey, stop this. It’s over. Stop them,” I beg.
“Let him do this for you. He can’t erase the past as much as he wants. Let him do this.”
I turn to get into the car because I can’t stand to watch this disaster unfold any longer, and that’s when this situation escalates to a whole new level of fucked up.
“So, I guess you know how it feels to sink balls deep in her, then?”
I can’t believe those words just came out of Greyson in front of my brothers and Miles. I don’t even recognize the man before me, who is so desperate to salvage a relationship that never was or will be. Standing still, frozen in time, I take a second to study everyone’s stunned faces.
Cree immediately lunges forward to attack Greyson, but is stopped this time by Tripp. “Let Miles have him.”
“
Dude, you’re not fighting him in a Dalmatian costume,” Cree hisses.
Miles tears his shirt off over the top of his head, and says, “What were you saying? Go ahead. Explain it to us.”
Miles spits in Greyson’s face and swings. The punch is so powerful it sends Greyson sailing sideways along with a trail of blood floating in the air. He doesn’t back off, but instead goes full force, beating the living shit out of Greyson. I’ve seen enough and climb into the car, blocking out all the bone cracking and slamming sounds. Lacey is right, though, Miles needs to do this for him. I just can’t watch any longer.
Finally, I hear Tripp yelling something and the sound of the driver’s door opening, and Miles’ sweaty body climbing in. I look up to see one of the local cops and Cree talking.
“Oh my God, Miles. You’re in trouble. I told you—”
“Baby, nobody saw anything,” he says and winks at me. “Now slide your ass over here.”
Miles rolls down his window as he revs up his engine and we hear a couple men who watched the fight start laughing and say, “Dude! A puppy just kicked Grey’s ass.”
Miles flies out of the parking lot, sending gravel sailing in every direction.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, baby,” I respond, and lay my hand on his leg. “But I do want to know why you’re such a good fighter and why you had to fight for grocery money.”
“Not today. Just know I love you, no matter what happens, crazy girl.”
Chapter 10
Miles Comes Back
Miles
She wants to know where I’m going. My piss poor excuses of business or helping a friend have long expired. My Willow wants answers, and I can’t give them to her because I’ll break her heart and lose her forever. Hell, I’ll break her heart, soul, and confidence, ripping her back down to the shell of nothingness she was when I met her. But the little persistent shit thinks she needs to know. Willow actually has the nerve to believe I’m going off be with another lover or to visit a secret child of mine. I would never allow her to believe such bullshit.
“Fuck,” I roar out as I slam my hand down onto the steering wheel.
I whip the Mustang around and head back to The Shop. She’s my one fortune I’m not willing to give away. She’s right about one thing, there is another woman. I can’t stand the thought of Willow hurting because she thinks I’m with another woman or a hidden family. She’s about to be slapped with the vile truth of my life, which will unveil all my insecurities and fears. It will be her decision to stay or go. All I know is that we both need a different kind of love, and we’re so fucking close to finding it together.
***
Willow
“Why are you crying?” asked Lacey as she enters the shop with Rose contentedly perched on her hip.
“I am not crying,” I grit out between my teeth.
“Weewee you ki,” chirps little Mac, who has followed in after his momma.
Oh just freaking fantastic! A whole carnival of onlookers to watch my meltdown after Miles left. I didn’t completely lie, because I hadn’t been crying. In fact, I was sobbing , ugly sobbing. Sobbing so hard that I felt my newly healed heart begin to crack again.
I allowed Miles access into my life as a friend, or as he would say, get your sexy back coach, only to have him leave me whenever he needed to. Unlike Greyson, I refuse to allow Miles to abuse my heart. I demanded answers and he left. He left. Just left me standing in The Shop begging for him to open up to me. So, yes, I had been sobbing.
“Don’t you dare lie to us, Willow. For shit’s sake, let us help you, “ Milly demands as she grabs my shoulders and shakes me.
“Lemon bars.” I offer the tray to Lacey, knowing they will clearly throw her off task.
“For the love of all things mothertrucking holy, shit yes,” Lacey said, as she plopped Rose on the counter with her.
“Lacey!” Milly bellows as she snatches the lemon bars from under Lacey’s mouth.
“Give me those back now, you little hooch,” Lacey screams.
As if this was a normal occasion, little Mac’s and Rose’s heads bobbled back and forth between their screaming moms. Rose starts clapping along with her head bobbing, and Mac climbs the stool to snag one of Milly’s lemon bars. The boy is so adorable and sneaky. I nudged the plate a little closer to help his clumsy, pudgy fingers get a piece of gooey sweetness. Mac snatched himself a lemon bar, and I couldn’t resist him a second longer, so I scoop him up in my arms.
After ten minutes of listening to the two twatties going at it, I had enough.
“Enough. Shut up already.”
“Sut ups,” Mac chimed, as he sprayed a shower of lemon bar crumbs into the air.
Now I have their attention, so I might as well get the ugly truth out and move on with my life.
“Miles leaves every couple of weeks and stays away for days at a time. He won’t tell me what he’s doing or who he’s doing. He lies to me about it, I just know it. He won’t let me in. I just begged him and he left me. I’ve let it slip the last couple months, but now I’m done.” I let it out all in one breath, and then allow the sobs to take over once again.
If I survive this loss, I’ll be able to survive anything, that’s the one fact I’m sure of.
“Oh, Willow, I’m so sorry. Do you think you’re going to, uh, you know, go back to…” Milly rambled. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m just sorry.”
“Jesus, Milly. She didn’t just tell us she’s dying. Sometimes you even creep me out and that takes a lot. She just lost her mancandy playtoy, that’s all. Willow is a certified hoochie and has her family to fall back on, so just shut the fuck up, Milly.”
A silence settles over all of us. I put Mac on the ground and he takes off to find his basket of toys that are nestled in the corner. At this point, there are no words or actions to help me out of this situation.
Ding!
“Cowboy up, bitches, and put on your pretty faces, because we have a customer,” Lacey says in her best sheriff voice.
Milly rolls her eyes and a small chuckle escapes. I just might survive this mess with those two dipshits in my life.
Always the business woman, Milly jumps up to greet the customer and I go back to work on my cake.
Her chipper little voice rings out through The Shop, “How can I—” Then immediate dead silence fills the space. There is never silence in The Shop or anywhere my family resides. A chill of the unexpected creeps its way up my spine, along with a bout of sheer uneasiness. What had my girls speechless? It takes every ounce of courage in me to pry my head up to see who it is. My heart desperately knew who it wanted it to be, but my head blurted out the cold hard truth, “You’re not worth loving forever.”
Milly clears her throat and I finally find the courage to peek up. Miles. It was my Miles. My heart was right, but how could it be? Tears come again, along with panic, pain, and the dread of the inevitable.
Miles doesn’t speak, instead he pounds his way to me with a determined, pissed off look on his face. Then the bastard has the nerve to grab me by the ass to hoist me up. My legs wrap around his center out of fear of eating shit and my arms wrap around his neck.
He knows this was my fantasy. A hot man to storm in and pick me up, and he just made it happen. I knew the man was my prince. I squeezed my eyes shut and let the tears continue to flow because the inevitable good bye was coming, and coming way too fast.
“Look at me,” he demands.
I obey his command, and pray like hell he wasn’t going to ruin my chances of a happy ever after with him.
“Do you trust me? That’s all I need to know. It is a yes or no answer, baby girl.”
Frozen with fear, I do not respond.
“Do you fucking trust me?”
I look into his eyes and take the gamble of my life, “No, but I love you, Miles. I love you with everything I am—I can’t help it. I love you.”
“That’ll do, then,” Miles says.
I wait for
a few moments to hear his expression of love, but it never comes. I’ve heard it before, but need it now like never before.
“Go pack your bags. We’re leaving for a week,” he finally says.
I press my lips to his just for one tiny taste. For weeks now I have laid claim to them whenever I wanted, and now I officially own them.
The taste of Miles is the most delicious poison I have ever tasted, and being a glutton for punishment, a quick peck wouldn’t do. Miles opens himself up to me, giving me full access to explore his mouth. During my third travel over his sensitive tongue, a low rumble travels from him. Miles pulls back and whispers, “High boner alert” into my mouth. I giggle and the tension from Miles’ face finally fades away into the air. The familiar happy Miles just reappeared in front of me.
He sits me down and says, “Go pack, baby.”
This is the first time in my life that I’m not going to overanalyze the situation, or dwell on the fact Miles didn’t say those three words back. I have to let go of my sick sense of control. I have to let go just enough to explore life outside my safe bubble of family and small town life. I have to learn to let go, so with a slap to Miles’ ass I start to make my way to grab some clothes from his apartment.
Miles snags me by the waist and snuggles up against my back then rests his chin on my shoulder.
“Holy boner alert, batman,” I squeal as his hardness rubs up against my rear.
Miles chuckles his deep laugh and then whispers into my ear, “I also forgot to give you your daily fortune. Trust me, it’s a good one.”
Miles slides me my fortune cookie, nestles deep down in my neck and then says, “I can’t give you everything until you know it all about me. Baby, you have to know that you’re my everything. My everything I wake up to, my everything I breathe to survive, and my everything that I want forever.”
Commence panty melt. This is my story, and I’m going to live it with no fears and control issues, so I cup his boner and say, “That’ll do, Sparky, That’ll do.”
“You have five minutes before I change my mind, crazy girl,” he says with a quick thrust of his man parts in my hands.
