Amo’s face fell at each harsh question. His anger slowly dissolved into pain as everything Lucca said hit him like a ton of bricks, making him feel like the trash he was.
Taking the same cynical tone Amo had just given him, Lucca continued, “Let’s be honest; she wasn’t going to spread her legs for you, so there was no need to, was there? You were too busy calling her a freak with the rest of them.”
A paling Amo quickly realized Lucca had found out his deepest, darkest secret.
He wanted to leave now, but he couldn’t with Lucca pinning him, forcing him to listen to what he had to say, forcing him to face the truth and accusations of those words.
“You had to be told to look in her fucking direction and give her your precious time. I didn’t,” Lucca growled, never letting up on the knife. “It took me one look to fall in love with her. One look to want to know everything and anything about her. One look to feel protective of her, like my life depended on it. One look to want to kill whoever gave her those scars.”
Blood now trickled down Amo’s throat.
“If you’re meant for her, then how have you slept without finding out who did those things to her, who made her the way she is now?” Lucca stared Amo down, his eyes boring into the weak soldier’s. “I bet you didn’t even know those scars were given to her; that she wasn’t actually in a car crash. You didn’t even know that she suffers from insomnia because she’s too afraid to sleep in fear of the nightmares. Admit you didn’t even know!” Lucca roared.
Ashamed, Amo shook his head. He was slowly beginning to break down. The strong Amo he had been moments ago had vanished before Lucca’s eyes.
Resisting the darkness that wanted to slide the blade into Amo’s neck was unimaginable, but Lucca was doing it. Besides, this feels so much better.
“There is so much you don’t know about her because you were too focused on lying to her, pretending to be someone you’re not, afraid of scaring her away. You have done nothing but hinder her because you think she’s weak when, in reality, she’s stronger than anyone I have ever seen.”
Pain then entered Lucca’s voice that also showed through his blue-green eyes, something he had never shown a man before, let alone one of his soldiers. “You will never know the love I feel for her. How beautiful it is. How painful it can be. What it felt like when I first looked at her. And what it felt like when I thought I might lose her before I could even save her. You will never know true love until you experience true fear. And you will never feel those toward her, as I am the only one for her. She. Is. Mine.”
Amo was almost there. Almost a broken human being. Lucca could stop now and show mercy, but he wanted Amo’s punishment to last a lifetime. A sentence he deserved for letting Chloe walk through hell even for one day.
“If Elle hadn’t seen us that night, I don’t want to think where Chloe would be now, or how she would have ended up, because you sure as fuck wouldn’t have protected her. You, Nero, and even Vincent are pieces of shit for letting them go through that hell.”
Lucca didn’t hold back on him, and he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt over it. His soldier deserved it after trying to do the same to him. The only difference was Amo was blinded by infatuation, mistaking it for love, whereas Lucca recognized the pureness of what he felt for Chloe.
She was his soulmate.
“You will never deserve Chloe. The same way Nero will never deserve Elle. Nero will spend the rest of his life trying to, but I won’t let you try and deserve her.
“I wanted her so badly that I actually wanted to trade places with you for those seven months … But not anymore. Now, you have to look at yourself in the mirror every fucking day for the rest of your life and see what a disgusting piece of shit you are. That’s why I’m not going to kill you.” Lucca removed the blade from his throat, but he still made Amo stand there like a wounded animal, not releasing him just yet. “I want you to live every day knowing that I’m with her and you’re not. Knowing that she belongs to me and me alone. To die little by little every time you see us together, just the way I did when I saw her with you.”
Now, he’s broken.
The hope Amo had, the same hope that had shown in his eyes, for being so close to being with Chloe was so small now compared to when he had first gotten here. Lucca didn’t want it gone completely, though, or it wouldn’t hurt him as much when he looked in the mirror every day, or at Chloe, or even at Lucca.
Turning away from the broken man who was now hunched over, only being held up by the wall at his back, the broken man who could no longer look at him from the shame he felt, Lucca went back to his desk, from where he watched Amo in pity.
He pulled out another cigarette and put it to his lips, lighting the end with the flick of his wrist. “Get the fuck out of my face and don’t ever step foot in my home again. Come anywhere near Chloe without permission, you’ll never see her again. Lay your hand on her, and I’ll keep my promise to rip out your fucking throat.” Taking a hit, he shooed him away. “You are dismissed.”
Struggling, Amo pushed himself off the wall, holding his damaged hand to his body while he left. He didn’t say a word; he didn’t have to. His face said it all. Amo was losing the girl he loved to Lucca and was now feeling her slip from his fingers.
Running a hand through his hair, his own words hit him like a ton of bricks. What it felt like when I thought I might lose her before I could even save her.
He had felt that true fear twice. Each time she had survived, it was the most peaceful and heavenly feeling … Only for it to kill him when he had to watch Amo be the one to console her.
You would think that the first time would have been the worst, but the second time had been just as excruciating, heartbreaking, and unbearable.
To die little by little every time you see us together, just the way I did when I saw her with you …
Thirty-Three
Praying to the God He Didn’t Believe Existed That She Was Still Alive
Months Earlier…
Lucca was watching the casino floor, his mind elsewhere. Chloe was here at the casino hotel, in Nero’s penthouse, hanging out with the girls. She was so close, yet so far away.
Every day that he waited for her, he knew it was another day closer. But to him, it always felt like an eternity.
The phone ringing in his pocket had him pulling it out to see it was Nero calling. He answered it immediately, putting it to his ear.
Before he could even speak, Nero asked hurriedly, “Lucca, where are you?”
A sinking feeling hit his heart. His instincts knew something very wrong was happening, and somehow, he felt Chloe was involved.
He was already moving toward the elevator. “First floor.”
“The girls … Someone broke in. We’re in the elevator …” Nero seemed to lose all hope as his voice trailed off.
The phone fell out of Lucca’s hands as a sharp pain dug into him, right in the chest.
Changing directions, Lucca headed toward the emergency stairs since Nero was already using the elevator. He hit the door, causing it to fly open as he started running up the stairs, running as fast as his legs could take him. Don’t You fucking do this to me! he began cursing God, a figure he had not believed in for years.
There were twenty-three floors.
I haven’t touched her yet.
Twenty-three floors that separated them.
I haven’t felt what it’s like to kiss her.
Twenty-three floors he had to climb to save her.
I haven’t told her I love her.
Each flight he climbed, a number passed, telling him how many more he had to scale.
Don’t You dare fucking take her from me!
Not once did he stop, not once did his body slow. His mind and body were strong, willing him to reach the top, while his heart began to compress inside his chest. A heart that shouldn’t beat, because he didn’t have one. A heart that only beat for Chloe. A heart that was rapidly collapsing in fear of losing
her.
Eleven …
He was halfway there now. It seemed to take forever. His only hope of Chloe living was in the hands of someone else reaching her soon. Save her, Nero. Someone else saving her who wasn’t him, no matter how much it was killing him. Save her, Amo.
Fifteen …
The numbers seemed to blur by, along with images of the future they were supposed to have together.
Nineteen …
Chloe sat smiling in the middle of the garden, surrounded by beautiful flowers.
Twenty …
His hand running through her long, silky hair.
Twenty-one …
Her peacefully sleeping in the bed next to him.
Twenty-two …
Kissing her under the gazebo while she wore a white dress.
Twenty-three …
When he hit the door in front of him, it opened with a slam, presenting the long hallway. I’m close, darlin’.
The adrenaline that still coursed through his veins had him reaching the end of the hall, opening the broken door to Nero’s place and running up the steps, praying to the God he didn’t believe existed that she was still alive.
Reaching the top steps, he saw a glimpse of Chloe in the bathroom, and a wave of relief washed over his body. Lucca found complete and utter peace in that millisecond. Knowing that her heart was still beating made his beat stronger.
The fear of losing her was now replaced by retribution when he saw Vincent on top of a man whom he was beating to death.
Grabbing Vincent’s shirt, he pulled him off the man he was about to murder. “Don’t you dare kill that fucker.”
Taking in the man on the floor, he studied him, trying to figure out who he was and what he was doing here. His gut had an eerie feeling that he already knew.
Sal came up the steps then, carrying a bat, having been notified from the security cameras.
“Fuck, man. He got Al. They should be cleaning him up, no—” He quickly shut his mouth once he saw the girls.
Taking the bat from him, Lucca gripped it, finding himself thankful he had a friend like him. “Thanks, Sal.”
Raising the bat above his head, he swung it down on the man’s leg.
The beautiful sound of bones shattering filled the space.
Vincent shouted, “Enough!” over the sound as the girls held their hands over their ears.
Lucca wasn’t close to done, though, letting the darkness have what it wanted, crashing the bat on the other leg.
Beginning to raise the bat for a final strike, Amo yelled, “Fuck! That’s enough!” which made him pause with the bat reared back.
Following his voice to the bathroom, his eyes landed on Chloe, who was sitting in the bathtub. She was motionless, nearly catatonic, staring him dead in the eyes. Fear of him was evident in her gray depths.
Chloe had yet to see him this way. She hadn’t seen what he was capable of, seen that there was true darkness in him.
Gripping the bat tighter, his knuckles grew white.
This was his moment, when he could either hide his true nature from her or present it to her; show her what was to come and the type of man she was really going to be with.
His decision was made in a split second as he slammed the bat down on the broken body one last time, watching her eyes and expression while he did it, never taking his eyes off hers.
She hadn’t flinched, moved, or changed her expression, telling him she had witnessed a brutality of that nature before.
Letting go of the bat, he took a deep breath, the smell of blood calming him.
He slicked back his hair that had fallen around his face, a smile touching his lips. The darkness was satiated.
“Now, that’s fucking enough.”
It all came crashing down, however, when Amo wrapped his jacket around Chloe’s shoulders and said, “Let’s get you home.”
The darkness that had settled came roaring back when she held Amo’s jacket to her tightly.
Watching her be comforted by another man ate away at him. Seeing a jacket that wasn’t his wrapped around her as she clung to it crushed him. The girl he loved so deeply being scared to even pass him was heart-wrenching.
She hadn’t the slightest idea the pain he was going through, the true fear he felt of losing her, or the love he had for her.
Watching the beautiful, broken girl pass him by without knowing any of those things as she walked with Amo slowly but surely started to kill him inside.
Thirty-Four
Allowing Monsters Like Him to Roam This Earth
Present Time
Chloe sat nervously on her bed with her stuff packed, like how it had been when she had first gotten here. Where is he taking me?
A quick knock on the door before it opened had Drago coming in. “You all packed up?”
She nodded nervously. “Where am I going?”
“You’re moving into Lucca’s room.” Not an ounce of sympathy was in his voice.
“I-I a-am?” That was the last thing she had expected, and it scared her more than anything she could think of.
“Yep. Let’s go,” he told her, picking up her bags.
More nervous than ever before, she shakily got up from the bed, following behind him as he headed out into the hall. Stopping, she grew confused when he didn’t go to the room across from hers and instead started heading down the hall toward the stairs.
“W-Where are you going?”
Drago stopped, turning to see she was standing in front of the door opposite of hers. “I told you. Lucca’s room.”
She didn’t understand as she continued to stare at the door she had seen Lucca go in and out of every morning and night over the past month.
“I thought this was his room.”
Drago set her bags down before walking to the door and opening it. Turning the light on, he let her see inside the bedroom.
Her eyebrows slowly came together in confusion as she walked into the room. It was nice, but felt a little young, and nothing at all like Lucca. This isn’t …
“This isn’t his room, is it?”
“No, it’s Leo’s. Lucca started sleeping in here a little bit after you got here.”
Chloe bit her lip. “He did?”
“Yes.” He turned the light off, a not so subtle sign that it was time to leave.
She clasped her hands together, beginning to wring them, as she let that piece of information set in. Then she followed Drago again, this time to Lucca’s real bedroom, passing the steps and going toward the other wing of the house.
Finally, Drago opened the door at the very end of the hall, allowing her to go in first.
This room definitely seemed more like Lucca. It was huge and darkly lit, with dark wood and dark colors. It seemed and smelled almost earthy, manly, and Chloe found it pleasing.
“Lucca will be in later.” Setting her things down in the middle of the room, Drago turned to leave.
“D-Drago …?”
“Yes?” He stopped, turning back around.
“Thank you for telling me.” She knew it probably wasn’t his place to tell her about Lucca sleeping in Leo’s room, as Lucca seemed like a very private man where it concerned his men, but she appreciated it all the same.
He gave a brief nod before leaving, closing the door behind him.
Taking a shaky breath while she looked around the dark room, she held herself tightly at the mere fact of being in the boogieman’s most intimate space. She couldn’t help wondering at what moment her path had led her here, or if this wasn’t her rightful path and she had been stolen off hers to walk down another.
The chains that held her body and mind gripped even tighter.
Lucca waited until he had calmed himself down before leaving his office. He had to let the darkness simmer enough before he could be near Chloe again. Though, he wasn’t entirely sure what he had to calm down from the most: finally kissing her, or Amo finally seeing he wasn’t the man for her. Both had brought the darkness out eq
ually.
Heading toward his bedroom, he passed Drago along the way.
“I took her things to your room. Chloe’s waiting for you there.”
“Thank you.” He nodded his head and then stopped. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
Drago paused, turning around to face him.
“Did you break Amo’s hand in hopes that I would think that was punishment enough?” Lucca studied his face, seeing a slight change in his stoic demeanor, which told him he had been right to think that. Drago had known Lucca wasn’t going to let him leave without physical pain.
“It will not happen again,” Drago told him firmly.
“Thanks for doing it for me,” Lucca said from over his shoulder as he continued toward his room, satisfied with Drago’s answer.
“Why?” Drago asked in confusion.
Lucca smiled. “Because now I get to tell Chloe you were the one who hurt him.”
“Fucking asshole,” Drago mumbled under his breath.
Chloe sat alone on the edge of Lucca’s bed, nervously waiting and not knowing what else to do. The door opening had her back straightening, hoping her wait was coming to an end.
When she saw that it was, in fact, Lucca coming in, her back somehow went even straighter.
“You didn’t unpack?” he asked when he saw her bags on the floor, untouched.
Looking down at the hands in her lap, she started wringing them, wanting to scrape her skin off. “N-No. I didn’t know where to put them.”
His hands suddenly appeared on top of hers, stopping her from the damage she wanted to inflict. “You’ve been good about not doing this all month. Is it because of him, or because I moved you here?”
Lucca (Made Men #4) Page 15
