by Jen Wilde
I grin. “You know … I live in Melbourne.”
“Yes, that information has been pretty clear to me for a while.”
“The weather there right now is pretty crappy, though. It’s the middle of winter.”
She lowers an eyebrow at me and smirks. “I’m not going there for the weather.”
She moves her mouth to my shoulder, her lips fluttering over my skin like butterfly wings. I marvel at what my life is right now. The spectacular sunrise, the blissfully tired feeling I have, and this girl by my side. I started SupaCon obsessed with changing the way everyone sees me, but now I know I’ll never be able to control what other people think.
It’s not my job to convince others of who I am. My only job is to be who I am. All I can do is find what makes me happy, and live it.
“You know, I’m really liking this,” I say. “Everything’s so much easier when I’m not filled with paranoia about what other people think.”
“See?” she says. “It’s a pretty Zen way to live. And smart—because come on, when you look at the big picture, does it really matter what anyone thinks or says about you?” She points up at the sky, the stars fading as the sun takes over. “I mean, way up there, about five thousand light-years away, is a magnificent wonder of the universe called the Unicorn’s Rose. NASA shared some gorgeous telescopic images of it a couple years ago. It’s a mess of pinks and blues and stars and swirls.”
Her eyes turn from whimsical to contemplative. “Whenever I get too involved in little things like gossip or rumors or life in general, I look up and think of that Unicorn’s Rose. No matter what happens, it’s a constant beauty that will always be shining down on us. There’s something about knowing it’s up there, being all quietly miraculous, that always makes me feel better. It reminds me of what’s important, and what most definitely isn’t.”
I stare at her, in awe. “You’re kind of a Unicorn’s Rose yourself.”
She shakes her head. “Nuh-uh. I’m not quiet about how miraculous I am.”
I smile. “Good, because I’m not quiet about how miraculous I am, either.”
CHAPTER 29
TAYLOR
QUEENOFFIRESTONE:
I’m wired with this need to always know what to expect.
Sometimes, this need serves me well.
Other times, it makes things harder.
A week ago, I thought this needed to be fixed.
I thought I needed to be fixed.
But now I see differently.
I don’t need to be fixed.
Because I am not broken.
Many unexpected things happened to me at SupaCon.
I laughed. I cried. I fell in love.
My worst fears came true.
And so did my wildest dreams.
Before SupaCon, I thought I was just …
Afraid.
Weird.
Awkward.
And I was right.
I am all these things.
And that’s okay.
I am all these things.
But I am also …
Brave.
Heroic.
Royal.
I’m not saying I’ll never be afraid again.
I’m afraid right now. I haven’t beaten that.
Maybe I never will.
Maybe I don’t need to.
I’m not saying I’ll never have bad days.
Days when anxiety will knock me down.
I will have those days. That’s real life.
And sometimes real life sucks hard.
As long as I have my family, my friends, and my fandom …
I’ll be okay.
No matter how messy life gets.
Because I have a league of superheroes by my side.
Some I’ve known for years.
Others I’ve just met.
Even more who I’ll never meet.
I’m surrounded by superheroes.
And that means I must be one, too.
And everyone knows that
No matter what darkness they face,
Heroes are destined to win.
#IAmTheOneTrueQueen #FamilyFandomAndFriends #TheEnd
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I will never be able to fully express how thankful I am to everyone who helped make this book come to life, but here goes.…
Firstly, thank you to everyone at Swoon Reads for making my dream of seeing my book on the shelf a reality. In particular, thanks to Jean Feiwel, Lauren Scobell, Anna Poon, Starr Baer, Rich Deas, Kim Waymer, Jo Kirby, Kelsey Marrujo, Emily Settle, Holly West, Teresa Ferraiolo, Janea Brachfeld, Madison Forsander, Kelly McGauley, and Emily Petrick.
Thank you to Liz Dresner for the stunning design. I feel so lucky to have a cover that’s so absolutely gorgeous I still can’t stop drooling over it.
Huge thanks to my amazing editor, Christine Barcellona, for your never-ending support, wisdom, and enthusiasm, and for loving these characters as much as I do. And of course, I send rainbows of gratitude to all the awesome people who read, voted for, and reviewed Queens of Geek on Swoon Reads.
I am eternally grateful to the beta readers who took the time to read Queens of Geek and offer thoughtful feedback: Katherine Locke, LeKesha Lewis, Lucy Mawson, and Tara Doyle. Your insights and encouragement helped me more than you know.
Special thanks to everyone at Wattpad HQ. I’m so proud to be a part of the Wattpad Stars family, and I’m so grateful for the continued support and opportunities you’ve sent my way.
To all the Wattpadders out there, thank you, thank you, thank you. When I posted my first story to Wattpad in 2012, I had no idea it would lead to this. But it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be here without you. Your excitement over the imaginary worlds I write about gave me the courage to pursue writing as a career. I wish I could hug each and every one of you.
A couple of years ago, I went to my first con, and it changed my life. I’ve never felt more at home than when I’m surrounded by cosplayers, geeks, and fandom fun. So to all the fangirls, fanboys, and fankids out there who let their geek flags fly and make our community fun and welcoming for all, thank you. You rock!
To my family, for thinking I’m awesome all these years, even when I was a total pain in the butt. And in particular, to my brother, Rob, for speaking in movie quotes with me since we were kids, long before it was cool.
Lastly, to Mike. I’m not exaggerating when I say that if it wasn’t for you, I’d be a starved insomniac who never got off the computer. Thanks for reminding me to eat and sleep when I’m hyper focusing on writing a story for weeks and weeks. And thanks for being the Jamie to my Taylor—and for always making sure there’s tomato sauce at the table.
A Coffee Date
between author Jen Wilde and editor Christine Barcellona
“Getting to Know You”
CB: What was your favorite book when you were a kid?
JW: I had a few that I really loved: the Goosebumps books by R. L. Stine, the Adrian Mole series by Sue Townsend, and Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen.
CB: What are your favorite books now?
JW: It’s so hard to choose! Usually, though, my favorite book is whichever one I’m currently reading.
CB: Who is your OTP, your favorite fictional couple?
JW: Piper and Leo, from Charmed.
CB: Do you have any hobbies?
JW: Is binge-watching TV shows a hobby? I do that a lot. I also love going to the movies, reading and writing (of course!), drawing, and traveling as much as I can. Oh, and cosplaying at cons!
CB: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?
JW: Flying! Or maybe teleportation. Any power that would allow me to travel to any part of the world whenever I wanted to.
CB: What are some of your favorite fandoms?
JW: I think the Supernatural fandom is definitely my fave. It’s like one big, global family, and the amazing causes, cons, and movements that have sprung from it make me so proud to be a part of it. S
eeing the creators and cast get so involved in the SPN family is the best. I’m also a devoted member of The Walking Dead and Back to the Future fandoms, but really, I’m a supporter of all fandoms. Fandoms bring people together to have fun and get excited about something they love––it doesn’t get any better than that!
“The Writing Life”
CB: You were a Wattpad author before you were a Swoon Reads author, so you’ve been tapped into the online writing world for a while. How have the Internet and online writing communities changed the way you write?
JW: Honestly, I would never have started writing if it wasn’t for Wattpad. Before I joined Wattpad in 2012, I’d never really written fiction before. But once I started, I fell in love with it. Having a community of readers supporting me, reading each chapter and wanting more, made me think seriously about making a career out of writing. I’m so grateful for the Wattpad family and all the support and encouragement they’ve given me.
CB: What sparked your imagination for this book?
JW: I’m a huge fangirl and love going to cons, so that was a huge part of why I wanted to write it. I knew it would be incredibly fun to write (and hopefully even more fun to read!) a story set entirely at a con. I was also angry. I was angry with the constant sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia, and general bigotry I’d witnessed both in my life and online. As an autistic, bisexual girl with anxiety, I was angry that people like me were either represented in media as burdens or the butt of a joke, and that’s if we’re represented at all. I was angry that society wants to put me in a box or stereotype me and my friends. And I’m still angry about all that. Just like Taylor, I have trouble verbally expressing my emotions, so I deal with it the best way I know how: writing. I put all that anger into action and wrote characters who deal with all those issues and represent the realities of the world we live in, while still falling in love, achieving their dreams, and being awesome. At the end of the day, I wrote the book I wanted to read, the book that would have saved me when I was a teenager and felt like I was broken, and I hope readers who’ve always felt ignored or misrepresented see themselves in these pages.
CB: What type of research did you for this book?
JW: My research for this story started long before I wrote the first word and hasn’t stopped since. As someone who understands how life-changing and affirming it can be to see yourself represented as a whole person in a positive way (and conversely how damaging it can be to see yourself portrayed poorly), I knew I had to do whatever I could to get these characters right. I spend countless hours reading books and websites like We Need Diverse Books, Disability in Kidlit, DiversifYA, Everyday Feminism, The Mary Sue, and the Swoon Reads blog. I follow chats and discussions on social media about #ownvoices, intersectional feminism, YA news, and the issues to be aware of as a white writer writing people of color. I’ve learned a lot from watching intersectional feminist YouTubers, educating myself on important social justice issues, listening to others, and doing my best to check my privilege, but I know I’ll still make mistakes along the way. One of the most important and helpful things I did was have many beta readers, and then listen to their suggestions on how to improve both the story and characters.
CB: When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
JW: I’d always admired writers and thought it would be such an amazing job, but I never thought I’d be any good at it, so I didn’t try. When I started writing my first story on Wattpad, it was just meant to be a fun hobby, something creative to do because I was burned out from running my business. But I quickly realized that writing was something I wanted to do full time, and now that I am, I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
CB: Do you have any writing rituals?
JW: I need a few things around me when I write: a fresh cup of coffee, a bottle of water, and my stack of story notes. I normally use the SelfControl app to block social media, and most of the time I write at my treadmill desk.
CB: Do you ever get writer’s block? How do you get back on track?
JW: For me, whenever I feel stuck on a story or a scene, I find it’s more than likely because I’m not excited about it. And if I’m not excited to write it, then it probably won’t be too fun to read, either. To fix that, I brainstorm ways to make the scene more interesting and exciting. If I can’t find any, then I either work on a different scene that I am excited about and come back to it later, or I scrap it completely.
CB: What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever heard?
JW: When writing: torture your characters. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen to this character right now?” and then do it. Write twists, turns, close calls, failures, successes. Put your characters through hell, and see how they get themselves out of it.
After you finish your book: write the next book. Being prolific not only makes me a better writer, it keeps me in the creative zone and means I get so much more done. I usually need a break between books to recharge and let ideas percolate, but I try not to wait too long before I get to work on the next story.
CB: What advice would you give aspiring authors?
JW: Don’t wait for permission to write your story. You don’t need permission; you don’t need to have a certain amount of readers or followers; you don’t need to be an expert; you don’t even need to know where your story will go. Just start, whether you think you’re ready or not. Choose the idea that excites you the most, then just sit down and start writing. You’ll learn along the way.
“The Swoon Reads Experience”
CB: How did you first learn about Swoon Reads?
JW: One of my Wattpad friends sent me the link, and the moment I clicked over to the site, I knew I had to submit a story.
CB: What made you decide to post your manuscript?
JW: I’d already posted another manuscript, but with no success. After following the Swoon Reads blog and reading Holly’s post about Comic-Con and all the amazing posts about diversity in media, it helped me find the courage to write a story I’d wanted to write for so long: a story about an autistic girl and a bisexual girl. I wrote it in a month and submitted it just in time to make the next Swoon Reads deadline.
CB: What was your experience like on the site before you were chosen?
JW: It was a roller coaster of emotions. As I mentioned, I originally submitted a manuscript that wasn’t selected, so for those few months I was constantly checking the site to see who had read and commented on it. I’m not a very patient person, so the waiting was driving me crazy. Once I accepted that my first manuscript didn’t make the cut, I got straight to work on the next one. This time, I promised myself I wouldn’t obsess over it, so I submitted it and tried to focus on other stories. The day after submissions closed, I got an e-mail from Swoon HQ, and the next morning I was on the phone to New York, getting the good news and hoping Christine and Lauren couldn’t hear my teeth chattering from nerves, ha ha!
CB: Once you were chosen, who was the first person you told and how did you celebrate?
JW: When I first saw the e-mail, I kept it to myself for about five minutes, ha ha! I told my husband, and we spent the next twenty-four hours being cautiously optimistic. He was actually sitting next to me while I took the call because I was so anxious. As timing would have it, that day I had lunch with my BFF and dinner with my whole family for my brother’s birthday, and I couldn’t say anything to anyone. I’ve never been great at keeping secrets, so I’m pretty proud that I managed to stay quiet about it. But I still managed to celebrate: I bought myself a cool brown satchel bag that I always imagined “real” writers would have.
“The Swoon Index”
CB: On the site we have something called the Swoon Index, where readers can share the amount of Heat, Laughter, Tears, and Thrills in each manuscript. Can you tell me something (or someone!) that always turns up the heat?
JW: Sam Winchester. I know Dean is the more popular choice, and I get it, but I’m definitely a Sam girl. Unless, of course, we’r
e talking about Dean from Gilmore Girls. ;)
CB: What always makes you laugh?
JW: My husband makes me laugh every single day. He is the biggest dork and just as geeky as I am. Plus he scares easily. Spiders, bugs, loud noises, shadows he sees from the corner of his eye, he’s just very jumpy. Like screaming at the top of his lungs, jumping out of his chair, dropping anything he might be holding kind of scared. I once saw an open packet of crackers fly through the air when he got scared––and he was only watching Elf at the time. It was the scene with the jack-in-the-box. I’m cracking up just thinking about it.
CB: Makes you cry?
JW: Anything to do with an animal being hurt or mistreated.
CB: Sets your heart pumping?
JW: Horror movies. Or watching the news, which is kinda the same thing.
CB: And finally, tell us all what makes you swoon!
JW: My husband. He’s my best friend, the Jamie to my Taylor. We’ve been together for ten years, and he still makes me swoon and laugh and feel like the luckiest person in the world. He’s the one who listens to me ramble on about my fictional worlds, and feeds me when I’m in hyperfocus mode, writing for hours on end. Without him, I would be a starved insomniac who never gets off the computer. And on one of our first dates, we watched Supernatural (which was still in season one at the time). We’ve watched it together ever since. To me, it doesn’t get more swoonworthy than that!
Two nerdy best friends navigate high school, drama club, Star Trek fandom, and being gay in this debut novel from Swoon Reads.
Keep reading for a sneak peek.
Linus
MEG IS ALREADY SITTING IN our usual back corner of the cafeteria by the time I manage to get my own lunch.
I walk over to her, drop into the seat opposite hers. It’s weird that it’s just us this year; usually Sophia was always here with us. Her absence feels strange to me now, not only because I’m used to having her around but also because I’m not sure I should mention that I miss her. I don’t want to upset Meg.
