by Sienna Parks
Savannah is curled up on Pops’ chair staring out the window—a million miles away. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days, dark circles under her eyes—her frame somehow frail in one of Mad’s oversized t-shirts. I take a tentative step forward careful not to startle her. Crouching down, I rest my hand on her knee.
“Savannah…” The moment she feels my touch, her eyes come alive as she scrambles into my arms tackling me to the floor.
“I’m so sorry, Jax. You have to forgive me. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry. I didn’t know if you were okay. The storm… the water… our fight…” She holds me so tight I can’t breathe, but I just wrap my arms around her shaking body soaking in her scent.
“I’m okay, darlin’. I’m so sorry I left you. I wasn’t thinking. I needed to clear my head. I’m so sorry.”
A.B. interrupts our reunion pulling me to my feet before slapping my chest repeatedly. “You scared the shit out of us, you inconsiderate jackass! How could you do that? Haven’t we lost enough this past year?” I grab her hands and pull her into my arms.
“I’m safe. I’m sorry. I knew you’d all be safe here with Maddox.”
“And we didn’t know if you were okay. Why would you turn your phone off? We’ve been calling for days thinking the worst.” I stroke her hair, knowing how much I mean to her—she’s a sister to me. “Don’t ever do that again!”
“I promise, sweetheart. Cross my heart.”
It’s then I hear the small voice that cuts me to the quick.
“Uncle Jax!” My Rae of sunshine comes running toward me as fast as her little legs will carry her. “I thought you swam away! It made me sad.” I scoop her into my arm still clutching A.B. with the other.
“I’m sorry I scared you, baby girl. You know Uncle Jax will always come back. I promise.” Tears well in her eyes as she wraps her tiny arms around my neck nuzzling her face into my chest. I turn to Savannah—tears are dripping down her cheeks.
“Get over here, darlin’. I think we could all use a hug about now.” A.B. opens her arm to welcome Savannah filling an empty space in my heart I thought I’d forgotten a long time ago. We stand wrapped in our embrace for what feels like hours, but as Rae wriggles free breaking the spell, I know it wasn’t long enough. A.B. promptly leaves Savannah and me to have a few moments alone before I need to get Maddox and the much-needed supplies back to town.
“Oh, Jax. I don’t even know where to start.” Clasping her delicate features in my palms, I relish the feel of her soft, smooth skin against mine. Searching her eyes for permission, I guardedly press my lips to hers begging her forgiveness. She licks the seam of my lips, and I dart my tongue out to meet hers. My body vibrates with the intensity of love I feel for this woman. After everything I’ve seen in the past few days, lying about her virginity seems like such a small obstacle. I should be focusing on the fact that she wanted it to be me.
“I love you, Savannah. We can talk this through after I get these supplies into town, but I just need you to know how sorry I am.”
“I love you, too. Let me come with you. I want to help in any way I can.”
“Really? That would be amazing. Thank you.” I struggle to keep my composure.
Before we leave for the shelter, I squeeze Rae a little tighter than usual remembering to tell her how much I love her. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for Mad to say goodbye to her and Pops before forcing himself out the front door. With a boat full of supplies, a doctor, and two more willing helpers, we embark on the arduous journey through the waterlogged roads of Kingsbury Falls. This time around, my focus is on the shock on each of their faces as they take in the devastation that has befallen our small town.
It will be months before the damage left in the aftermath of the storm can be repaired, but for now, every member of our town has a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and a warm bed to sleep in. People who I’d labeled as selfish and mean my entire life have proven themselves to be anything but—opening their homes to anyone in need. Finally, I understand the reason why so many families live, laugh, and love here spanning back generations.
Savannah and I have found a comfortable routine, our focus on providing whatever relief we can for those in need. She’s fast becoming a part of our close-knit community. Her boundless energy and loving nature are endearing to all who come in contact with her. It only makes me love her more, and yet we’ve been avoiding the elephant in the room. Witnessing such devastation in people’s lives, including our own, has been a distraction. My home will be uninhabitable long after the water drains, and we still need to go and assess the damage at Savannah’s cottage. We’ve been working hard both in town and on the ranch, so by the time we fall into bed at night, all we’ve wanted to do is lose ourselves in each other.
I’ve memorized every inch of her body, and every time we’re together, I find something new to love—a freckle, a laugh, the way her back arches off the bed when she orgasms. I’ve claimed her as mine over and over again, but in the back of my mind, it’s always there gnawing at me—there’s something she’s not telling me—a piece of herself she keeps locked away even in her most vulnerable moments. The question has been on the tip of my tongue a hundred times, but I just can’t bring myself to say the words.
She rolls over in her sleep as I lie awake listening to the gentle in and out of her breathing.
“Jax, are you okay?”
“Sorry, darlin’, did I wake you?” She turns on her side resting her head on her hand as her ample breasts harden from the cool air of the ceiling fan.
“What’s on your mind? I can see that little crease you get on your forehead when you’re thinking about something.”
“Things have been… amazing between us lately.” She leans over tracing circles on my abs with her tongue.
“Mmm. I agree.” As she lowers the sheet covering my hard-on snaking her way down my body, I know I’m going to regret opening my mouth.
“But, we never talked about what happened the night of the storm.” She stills. “Don’t you think I deserve an explanation? Why did you lie to me?” I’m left bereft as she puts distance between us—pulling the sheet to cover her body leaving me with a raging hard-on and nowhere to hide.
“I thought we were past this. You never brought it up again.”
“Fuck. We were dealing with a natural disaster. I figured we would still talk about it at some point.” I switch on the bedside lamp eager not to have another misunderstanding in the dark. “You acted like it was no big deal. I need to know why. Was it something I did or didn’t do?”
“No! I was embarrassed. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I couldn’t find the words. In the end, I just thought it would be better to get it over with.”
“Listen to yourself! We’d just told each other how we felt. I don’t know about you, but that’s a pretty big fucking deal to me. Get it over with is not how I wanted our first time to be. And if I’d known… I’d have made damn sure your first time wasn’t being bucked like a bronco in a pitch-black old bunker. I never got the chance to make it special for you. You deserved that. I deserved that.”
“Jax, please hear me when I say this… it was special, and it meant everything to me.” I throw my arm over my eyes more confused than ever.
“Then why the fuck did you say it wasn’t a big deal?”
“God, I had cum and blood running down my legs. I was mortified and trying like hell to play it down. It was nothing to do with how I feel about you or my decision that I wanted you to be the one I gave my virginity to. Whether I’d told you or not, or if we’d been in some romantic hotel room or that bunker… I wanted it… I needed you.” I pull her into my arms stroking her hair as I try to make sense of it all. Why don’t women just say what they mean when they mean it?
“I need you, too. I just knew you’d heard about my reputation around here, and I got defensive.”
“Sex God, Jackson McKinney, is pretty intimidating, but what really spooked me was the
first time you kissed me on the dance floor in Cardinals. I knew then that I wanted you to own every part of me… mind, body and soul. I never came to this town expecting to fall in love with you. It was a curveball I didn’t see coming.”
“Right back at ya, darlin’. I’d set my sights on leaving this town when you came walking into my life. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you out of my head. That’s as intimidating as it gets for a guy like me.”
“So, we’re okay?” There’s trepidation in her voice.
“We’re better than okay. I’d say we’re dang near perfect. But no more lies.” She lunges, pinning me to the bed, her lithe thighs straddling my hips as she grinds against me whipping me into a frenzy. I flip her under me, her stunning brown eyes staring up at me.
“Better saddle up, darlin’, it’s going to be a rough ride tonight.”
“Just the way I like it… cowboy.”
SAVANNAH
I can’t put it off any longer. Now that the water is receding, I have to go and assess the damage at the cottage. Jax and Maddox offered to come with me, but this is something I need to do alone. There are too many secrets hidden in those walls. I need to get over there and get rid of it all before anyone sees it.
The door gives a soft thud as it opens, the wood soggy and broken as I force my way inside. The obnoxious ring of my phone startles me in the eerie calm. It’s Jax.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hey, darlin’. I wish you’d let me come with you. I’m sitting here worrying about that old cottage crumbling around you.”
“It’s fine. I’m okay. You have work to do on the ranch. Please, don’t waste time thinking about me. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Thinking about you is never a waste of time.” The smooth rasp of his voice warms my heart.
“I love you. Now get back to work!”
“Love you more, darlin’. Hurry back.”
The damage isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The tile floors on the ground floor will need to be swept and cleaned, but the rest of the cottage is in good condition. Mrs. Hawthorne will be happy to hear it. Before I get started, I need to store the evidence of my research. Jax may have let me come alone today, but I won’t be able to keep him from coming here for much longer, and I wouldn’t be able to explain it all to him—not yet.
It takes an hour or so to pack all of the photos, documents, and newspaper clippings into a box and stow them in the upstairs closet. On my tiptoes, I push the box in an attempt to reach the top shelf, but a sound at the front door catches me off guard, and the box comes tumbling down on top of me scattering the evidence to the floor.
“Hello! Savannah, is that you? Are you okay up there?” Shit. It’s Mrs. Hawthorne.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be right there.” I scramble to my feet shoving the papers out of sight and covering them with a sheet before closing the closet door. I take a deep breath to compose myself and head down to greet her.
“Not too much damage, dear. We can get this fixed up in no time.”
“You didn’t have to come. I could have done this myself. You’re too kind.”
“Where would my Southern manners be if I did that?” I can already see her eyes scanning the room greedy to know more about her elusive tenant. “Did you let your family know that you’re safe after the storm? Are they planning to visit?”
“I’ve spoken with my father. My mother passed a few years back. My dad won’t be coming here. He’s a busy man with a company to run.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Everyone needs people to rally after something like this. Will young Jax be coming by today?”
“No. I told him to stay and help on the ranch. They had extensive damage to the barns and fencing. I can manage myself. I’m used to it.” I go in search of cleaning supplies eager to get this over with and get Ida out of my personal space. It’s going to be hours of her picking apart every detail of my living habits and my relationship with Jax. Once we’re organized, I take the opportunity to put some distance between us.
I go to work in the kitchen where the water was highest. I can see the waterline mark on the cabinets. These will have to be replaced, but I can do that. I wouldn’t feel right letting an old lady like her bear the burden of refurbishing. It’s the least I can do. She charges a pittance in rent. I doubt it even covers the property tax. It’s a shame because a cottage like this could pull in a great tourist trade. She doesn’t strike me as the type to welcome strangers—not unless she thinks they have some juicy gossip she might want to hear.
It’s tragic to see how much food has spoiled when there are so many people across the state who have nothing right now—garbage bags full of the contents of my refrigerator are thrown into the trash. When I’ve done all I can to clean up the kitchen, I go in search of Mrs. Hawthorne. I navigate my way down the dark hallway toward the front room when I hear her voice.
“Well, I never.” My heart begins to hammer in my chest, my mind racing—wondering if I left any of my research papers downstairs. I find her sitting in the old rocking chair by the window staring at a picture. I can’t make it out from here, but something tells me this is going to be problematic to explain.
“Mrs. Hawthorne. What are you doing?” Guilt is written all over her face.
“Oh… I was just making sure none of these papers got wet, and I happened to see this picture.” She holds it out to me, and as I step closer, a wave of relief washes over me. It’s just an old picture of my dad. Then I see recognition in her eyes. She’s seen him before. He was in Kingsbury Falls.
“Do you know him?”
“Of course. I’m just surprised that the McKinney boy kept it. I thought his momma burned every picture.”
“What do you mean? What does Jackson have to do with that man?”
“This is Jeb McKinney… Jackson’s father.” A shrill, high-pitched tone rings in my ears, drowning out everything around me. I swipe the picture from her hand pointing to the face of my father.
“This man? In the photo.” She’s looking at me like I just lost my mind.
“Yes. Jeb McKinney was born and raised here in Kingsbury Falls. I’d know him anywhere. He left when the boy was only two or three years old. A crying shame, but the man was a known philanderer. Good riddance if you ask me. I’m surprised Jackson kept a picture of him and that he showed it to you.”
This can’t be happening…
Jackson McKinney’s father is… my dad.
“Are you okay, dear? You look a little pale. Maybe you should sit.”
“I need you to leave. Please. I need to lie down.” I hustle her out the door as fast as I can, much to her dislike.
“I’ll check in on you later then. Maybe bring you some soup.”
“Thanks.”
I slam the rotten front door and run upstairs, but I don’t make it to the bathroom before the contents of my stomach are involuntary expelled in agonizing spasms. When there’s nothing left, I dry heave a few times until my body collapses in exhaustion.
She’s wrong. She’s old and probably blind as a bat. There is no way that Jax could be my brother. We can’t share the same father. We just… can’t. We’ve done things—things that brothers and sisters should never do. It’s depraved. How did this happen?
How can I be in love with my brother?
I crawl over to the tub, and it takes all my energy to turn the tap. My mind goes blank focusing on the gushing sound of the water—it’s scalding hot, steam filling the room with a comforting haze. Nothing is left. It’s just me and the water and this room. I strip naked running my hands over my body remembering what I did last night and the way he made my skin tremble in ecstasy.
The water burns my flesh as I step into the tub—not hot enough to leave a lasting mark, but painful nonetheless. Instead of reaching for the cold tap, I sit, submerging myself—knowing that nothing can wash away what I’ve done. I should never have come here. My father was right. Chasing ghosts only unearths more secrets and l
ies.
My father…
I need answers, and this isn’t something I can do over the phone. Watching the drip, drip, drip of the leaky faucet, I devise a plan. I can’t trust anything or anyone. I need hard facts—DNA. If I can get some of Jax’s DNA, then I can have it tested to see if we’re related. Maybe Mrs. Hawthorne has it all wrong. There could be a million different reasons why my mom and dad ended up together. I have to believe it or… it’s unthinkable.
The water is cold, and my fingers are wrinkled like raisins by the time I muster the energy to get out of the tub. I don’t feel disgusting. I don’t feel cleansed. I’m numb. There’s a void of darkness beckoning me to relent to the hidden depths of my mind, to retreat to a small space where nothing can touch me.
“Savannah.” His dulcet tones whisper in my ear tempting me from my slumber. “Savannah.” His voice is getting closer caressing my senses. “Savannah.” A wet warmth engulfs my breasts, his tongue teasing my nipples as his strong, callused hand glides up my thigh…
I’m awake.
“Darlin’ I can’t wait to get inside you. It might be the hottest thing I ever saw walking in on you… naked and wet with your legs spread wide waiting for me.” His eyes are alight with desire. The blazing inferno I know will result in a mind-blowing orgasm. He trails kisses down my stomach nestling himself between my thighs.
That’s when I remember. The rest of today wasn’t a dream. Jax is my…
