by Jen Wylie
He made her so angry she felt the fury within her stir. "They aren't comfortable."
Sighing, he rubbed at his eyes with one hand, clearly irritated. "Just put it on. I will be working from here all day, and likely my men will be coming and going."
She didn't really care. The robe was much more comfortable. However, their argument hurt her head. "Fine," she snapped.
After letting her fume for a while, he brought her food. Getting something into her stomach made her feel a bit better. She returned to the bathroom to get dressed, not surprised to find an annoyed Aya arrive to do up her laces. They didn't speak much this time, which was fine with Aro.
Returning to the main room, she found her boots and socks and sat on the floor to put them on, flashing another glare at Roan, just daring him to speak.
Shaking his head, he mumbled under his breath and went back to whatever he was working on.
The boots reminded her of something else. "Do you have my weapons?"
He didn't look up. "Yes. They are safe."
"Can I–"
"Come sit. We've much to discuss."
Grinding her teeth, she stood and returned to her chair, loudly, stomping her boots with each step.
"Don't be so childish, Arowyn."
"Stop telling me what to do."
Leaning back in his chair, he clasped his hands behind his head and regarded her silently. She stared back, wanting him to know she wasn't afraid of him.
"So," he finally said. "You survived another sleep. The dose seems to have been a good amount. You only slept about a day and half total." Lowering his hands, he leaned forward to look at something on his desk. "You didn't experience the withdrawals for a day and a half, and managed to wait almost half a day before you took more. So, we shall see how you do this time."
She grimaced. "That wasn't pleasant."
"No, I imagine not."
Her eyes narrowed. "Have you done this before? Helped someone get over this…addiction?"
"No." When she opened her mouth to reply he continued, "However, my men and I gathered much information on the subject."
"So I'll get better. You aren't going to accidently kill me?"
"That is highly unlikely."
She didn't miss the slight twitch of his lips. "But possible."
"We've discussed how you are an unusual case."
She had no reply to that.
"Do you trust me, Arowyn?"
"No," she said immediately.
He laughed darkly. "You are learning something then."
She snorted.
"You've spent too much time in the company of men. Ladies do not snort."
"I'm not a lady, and never said I was."
He let out a weary sigh. "Never mind. Now. Let's get started."
"On?"
"Start at the beginning. Tell me about you. Your life, your family, growing up. All of that."
"Wither me," she muttered, shaking her head. However, she'd made a deal, no matter how much she regretted it now. Perhaps it had been fair; protecting her might not be an easy task.
Reliving her past would certainly not be easy for her.
∞ ∞ ∞
After an awkward start, she found a way to distance herself from her words. She told Roan about her father and brothers. She spoke of Kingsport and their house, of the men going off to fight and her lessons and her desire to join them one day. Though she tried to keep the telling short, he occasionally asked questions.
Time went by quickly. Before she knew it she was telling him of the attack on the city, the fighting, the panic, and getting knocked out. She stopped there, staring off into nothing.
"What happened next?"
It took her a while to find her voice again, but for once he seemed patient to wait. "I woke up in chains. On a slave ship." A shudder ran through her, the memory suddenly too close and painful.
Standing, he went to a shelf and poured her something to drink. Bringing it to her, he then sat across from her. "Go on."
She took a sip. Unfortunately it was only wine. Something stronger would have tasted a lot better right then. Roan listened in quiet fascination as she told him about the ship, the boys she met there, and how they escaped.
He actually cursed when a knock at the door stopped the story. Twice more they were interrupted. While he dealt with someone bringing more paperwork and talk of a shipment, she closed her eyes. She'd told up to when they'd wintered in one of the northern cities and the sickness there. The interruption came at a good time. She didn't want to speak of Avery's death. Finishing the glass of wine, she stood and went to poor herself another. Roan frowned over at her, but she didn't really care.
Too soon he was back, and she started again, her words clipped and distant as she tried not to live that time over again. Another knock on the door halted her tale when they had just escaped the city under siege.
"I'd heard of the fall of Overfell," he said, sitting once again. "Unfortunate you were there."
Unfortunate wasn't quite the word she would use to describe that time.
His eyebrows rose at the sour look on her face. "You all escaped. Continue."
Shifting uncomfortably, she called him every foul name she could think of. In her head. "There was fighting outside the walls. We got split up. Cain and I ran into the fields but we were chased. Cain…Cain…" Looking up at the ceiling, she took a shaky breath. "Cain was killed."
"Ah, you lost another of your comrades."
His calm words infuriated her. "He was my brother! My family!"
Roan cocked his head to one side. "You'd known him only a few months."
"After everything we went through together…We were always there for each other." She shook her head. "Words, a story like this, can't describe what grew between us all in that time."
He remained quiet, though whether to allow her to collect herself, or if he was just thinking, she didn't know.
"When was this?"
"I don't…" She frowned, thinking. "Four months ago maybe."
"His death still hurts you."
"Of course it does." They all did. They always would.
"I believe it is about time for dinner. I'll return shortly."
Nodding, she didn't watch him leave. Closing her eyes, she fought to keep tears away. She refused to let him see her cry.
At least the passing time cleared her head. She worried over what he might do with the information he'd learned about her. What would he do if he found out she hadn't told him everything? She'd left out her bindings with Kei and how Prince taught her to build a fortress in her mind. Likely he knew she could mind speak, though he hadn't tried to talk to her yet, which left her wondering. Perhaps he had but the fogginess in her head prevented her from using it.
Her growing feelings for Prince had also been left out, and she wasn't sure what to say to him about that, or how much she should mention about what came next. As little as possible, she finally decided. If he didn't ask for more information then it wasn't her fault.
After Roan returned with a tray of food, they ate, or at least she did. A sudden stream of men came and went. She began to wonder if he'd had them all wait outside while he listened to her talk.
Picking at her food, she pretended to ignore the men, and their occasional curious glances her way, while she listened to the quiet conversations. Ships, both coming and going, weather, delays, supplies, crews, and cargo were main topics. Some discussed people she'd never heard of, things they did, and one man talked of a fight in the southeast quarter. Roan seemed to have eyes and ears everywhere. She began to wonder if he'd known more about her than he let on.
Dreading more memories to come, she thought of Kei and not being alone. Did he know what a comfort their bond gave her? Did she give him any? Perhaps her wild range of emotions, few of them good, hurt him more than helped. She wished the Elves had never found her and she could just be there for him without causing him worry. Would he be the same when Damon finally returned him to her? S
he didn't know what months of mental pain would do to him. The heartache and worry and anger remained a festering sore within her. She hated it, and she hated Damon for doing this to them.
Finally the men stopped coming and Roan finished eating. After collecting another bottle and small glasses from the shelf, he returned to his seat. He poured and handed her one of the delicate glasses.
"Let's continue."
Carefully sniffing the contents, a relieved smile crossed her lips. Finally something stronger than wine. With the past unleashed, maybe she could keep the nightmares away with a few glasses of whiskey. She tipped the glass back and emptied it. Blowing air through clenched teeth, she blinked rapidly as her eyes watered.
Roan chuckled and took a small sip of his. "I believe I can see how they thought you were a boy."
She continued telling him of her journey. He poured her another drink, though she sipped it this time. With no windows in the room, she had no idea how long she spoke, but by the time she told of returning Prince to Rivenward her eyes itched with fatigue.
"This has been quite the summary. Don't be mistaken, I'm quite aware you have left much out."
Looking at him innocently, she kept her mouth shut and took another sip. Was it her third glass or fourth?
"This, however, pertains to the situation you are in now. Please tell me again what occurred before the gates, in greater detail."
Tossing back the last of her drink, she thumped the glass down on the table, focused on a shelf behind him, and told him exactly what happened.
Once finished she finally looked at him again, meeting his disturbing pale eyes. A number of emotions played faintly across his face. Confusion and disbelief she recognized and wasn't surprised by them.
"This explains much," he said finally. "You do realize his show of affection toward you has likely been seen by most Elves in Rivenward now."
"I gathered that."
He shook his head. "What was he thinking?"
"I don't know," she answered quietly, truly wishing she did.
"What are your feelings for the prince?"
"I love him."
"And his for you?"
She shrugged a shoulder. "He cares for me."
"When did this start? You seem to have forgotten to mention it."
Closing her eyes, she ignored his irritated tone. Did he really expect her to tell him everything? "I…it just happened. I'd been fascinated by him from the start and that grew into something more. I kissed him once, this fall," she admitted. "I got a lecture in return. He always thought of me as a child, which is why I think he cared for and protected me like he did."
"This was sudden, then?"
Since she hadn't told him about the kiss he'd given her when she'd filled Prince with Fey power, or that she'd given him the power at all, she wasn't sure what to say at first. "He…It wasn't until I almost died, from the Vor attack, just before we reached the gates."
"His actions make no sense."
She shrugged. From an Elven point of view, it probably didn't.
"Have you heard from him since?"
"No."
"You do understand–"
"Yes, I know I'll probably never see him again," she snapped. She rubbed at a suddenly pounding temple.
"It's late. We can finish this discussion tomorrow. I've a number of questions and wish to hear the rest of your story, what occurred leading up to me finding you. To bed with you. I've some work to finish."
Rising, the amount of relief she felt at not having to continue surprised her.
"I will be out in the morning but shouldn't be long. I'll have breakfast left on my desk for you."
"Thank you." She turned and stopped as she remembered she still wore the dreaded dress. "Can you untie me?"
Silence met her question for a long moment, and she began to worry she'd have to sleep in the stupid thing. Finally he stood and she braced herself as he worked at the knot and loosening the laces.
Holding the dress to her chest, she muttered another thank you and headed to the bathroom to change.
"Sweet dreams, Arowyn."
Though he certainly heard her sarcastic laugh, he didn't reply.
∞ ∞ ∞
Everyone died. All around her, bloody bodies littered the ground. She tried to run. The hands of the dead moved, grabbing her, trying to pull her down to join them. A scream bubbled up in her throat as she fought against them, her family…her dead family.
Hands gripped hers as someone called her name. Eyes snapping open, she struggled to breath. The absolute darkness didn't help and she closed her eyes again.
"Shhh, you're safe."
Rolling toward the voice, her fingers tightened around the other's hands. Kei… He'd keep the nightmares away.
"They all die," she whispered.
His hands gently squeezed hers. If he spoke, she missed his words as she drifted back asleep.
Chapter 20
Elven Lies
She hated how the room had no windows. Since Roan still slept, she assumed it to be quite early in the morning.
Waking to find herself curled on her side, a warm hand holding hers, brought back not so old memories. A deep sorrow stole her breath away. She missed Kei. She missed Prince. Realizing Roan held her hand brought forth a wide range of emotions, none of them good.
She remembered the nightmares. The fact he'd tried to comfort her shocked her beyond words. Her mind thankfully came up with reasons why the cold man held her hand. She'd probably been tossing, or even screaming, in her sleep. He'd likely done it to calm her down so he could get some rest. Even so, he'd unintentionally taken Kei's place and a part of her resented him for that.
Slowly and gently, she untwined her fingers and pulled her hand away. When he didn't stir, she rolled over to her side of the bed. Hopefully he wouldn't remember, or at least wouldn't say anything. Thoughts of Kei filled her mind, and then of Prince holding her as he had that last night before he went home.
The next time she woke, Roan had left and she could smell food. After cleaning up and eating, she wandered the room. Where would he have put her weapons? After poking around shelves, cupboards, and his dressers, she finally sat in his desk chair. The desk itself had drawers on either side. The third one she tried brought success. Inside she found her daggers and belt, carefully set on a pile of papers. Closing the drawer, she stood, made sure the chair was as she'd found it, and then browsed his book collection again.
He found her sprawled on a chair reading, wearing one of his shirts over her underclothes. A blanket covered her legs, only her boots sticking out. She swore she could hear his teeth grinding.
"A pair of pants would be helpful, considering I can't get the dress done up on my own."
He pinched the bridge of nose and took a calming breath. "So I see."
Setting a leather satchel by his desk, he came to sit in the chair next to her. "You're reading."
"I like to read," she said absently, turning a page.
Plucking the book from her fingers, he turned it to read the cover. "Fortification and Defense."
"By Jalan Hayward. Have you read his book on infantry tactics in mountainous terrain?"
He stared at her for a long moment before setting the book down. "No. I'm afraid not."
"It's quite good. He had–"
Roan raised a hand, cutting her off. When he didn't speak, she raised her eyebrows expectantly. "You surprise me occasionally, which is surprising in itself."
"Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't read. Or think. Or fight," she added.
"Human women rarely do. You are also very young."
"Not for a human," she pointed out.
He conceded that point with a nod.
"Did you have a point?"
"Not particularly. Though learning of your past has explained many things, I am still at a loss understanding much of what you do."
His words brought her a great amount of satisfaction. Good. Keeping him guessing would cert
ainly work in her favor. "If it helps, I don't understand you at all."
"You know nothing about me."
"No, I don't," she agreed.
"Did you even brush your hair this morning?"
She turned to face him fully. "What do you care? Why the dress?"
He regarded her for a long moment, his face unreadable. Times like this he reminded her too much of Prince, and she surprisingly realized, her father. "It has to do with respect," he said finally.
"I'm supposed to respect you?"
He shook his head. "Respect is earned for various reasons. It seems you can fight, and you have some intelligence. You have a natural ability to lead. Yet to be a leader, you must also have the respect of not only your men, but of others who rule. Do you understand?"
She understood perfectly well…and thought he was an idiot. "Looking pretty, wearing a dress, and minding my manners will cause others to respect me, then?"
"Other leaders. Right now, your youth both helps and hinders you. You can get away with much, but also you lose credibility acting like a wild youngster."
"And I should care about this because…"
"You are to play an important role in this world. Healing the Fey is no small act. Because of this ability, you will become powerful. The Fey will see to that, if nothing else. Until a new queen is chosen, they will look to you to lead them."
Turning her head, she shook it slightly. It wasn't his words she disagreed with; quite likely what he said would come to pass. However, now he'd given her another reason to wonder at his motives for helping her.
Thinking she disagreed with him, he let out an irritated sigh. "You are quite frustrating."
Grinning, she looked back to him. "So I hear. Often."
"Such a child," he muttered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Let us begin," he said. "Once you arrived at the city."
She grimaced at him, but inside she laughed a little. At least she didn't have to repeat the time between when Prince went home and they arrived. Pushing feelings aside, she began once more.
Roan quickly dashed her hopes of having this done with quickly. Though he let her sum up their initial weeks in the city with a few sentences, he started asking questions when she mentioned her fight with Kei. His interest irritated her for more than one reason, especially having to tell him the full story of the fight and Kei leaving, and then Damon taking him. Still, she managed to avoid telling him about their bonds. Unfortunately, the story couldn't be told without her mentioning the mind speech.
