The question on his face made her smile. "This time, I don’t want to be in control."
His eyes widened then his smile. He took the lead she relinquished, setting the pace. Never had letting go brought her so much pleasure. As his thrusts grew quicker, more frantic, she unclasped her mind and let the final shred of control slip away. Her body convulsed, and she screamed in pleasure. Jake’s muscles tensed as he cried out in release on the heels of her own.
Tears threatened, finally won and spilled over. Jake saw them and wiped them away.
"Did I hurt you?"
She shook her head. "No, no. I’ve never felt more wonderful in my life."
He chuckled. "You women. Cry when you’re sad, cry when you’re happy. How are men supposed to figure you out?" He kissed her temple.
"You’re not."
He laughed again and cradled her in his arms. She listened to his strong heartbeat beneath her ear. It still beat wildly against his chest, making her smile.
"What’s the smile for?" he asked.
"How did you know I was smiling?"
"I felt it."
"The good detective, doesn’t miss anything."
"Well?"
"I’m happy, that’s all."
"If you don’t stop exploring with those fingers, I might be forced to make you even happier."
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes with challenge. "You think that’s possible?"
He rolled atop her again and showed her it was not only possible but also more stirring than the first time. As they drifted toward sleep in the afterglow of lovemaking, she kissed his cheek.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You’re more than welcome. I aim to please." His words sounded drowsy, his eyes already closed.
She tried to smile but couldn’t. She never wanted to leave this place, this little oasis they’d created together. She didn’t want to face the world outside — a world where a psycho wanted to kill her and where she wasn’t free to tell the man she loved how she felt.
A world where he would never reciprocate her feelings.
She drifted toward sleep with her arms wrapped around him, wondering if they’d ever recapture this type of intimacy. Once again, control slipped away, this time stolen by her heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jake woke with his arms still wrapped around Sydney. Invisible pins and needles pricked at the arm nearly asleep beneath her head, but he didn’t move. He didn’t want to wake her and have her roll away from him. The feel of her warm, supple body next to his tightened his muscles in the most delicious way, and he wasn’t quite ready to give up that sensation.
She nuzzled closer, sending shock waves through him. He closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe slowly. They’d made love twice, and already he wanted her again. He’d not made love to the same woman three times in years. Not that he was proud of that fact. For one reason or another, he just never got that far with a woman. They didn’t click or his job got in the way. Police work had always come first, and understandably most women didn’t take kindly to being second on his list of priorities.
But something about Sydney had drawn him from the beginning. Even when he was angry with her, his traitorous body rebelled against him. And now he was in danger of losing his heart, too.
He sighed. When had that happened? When had she snuck in under his radar to tempt him with impossibilities? Lying in bed with her, he could envision a life with this woman. He could forget what they did for a living and how they would likely always be at odds. With her warmth soaking into him, he could even pretend he was invincible and would never leave her alone.
But he was a cop. He could never give up the job that was as much a part of him as the blood coursing through his veins. And every day he went to work might be his last.
As carefully as he could, Jake pulled his arm from beneath Sydney’s head and slipped from the bed. He threw on a sweatsuit and climbed to the deck. He had to get some fresh air to try to clear his sex-fogged mind. Maybe he should go to work and have Kevin or one of the other guys come out and guard Sydney.
Would he be able to get any work done even if he did go in? He suspected he’d go through the motions but would have his mind on her constantly, afraid the killer would somehow manage to better the man on guard and get to Sydney. A cold chill raced down his back.
As much as he could, he was sticking by her until they caught this guy, no matter how much being with her tempted him, made him contemplate his mother’s words the night of the mayor’s dinner.
"I want you to know love."
Is that what the expansive feeling in his chest was? The jittery, full sensation had begun to swell the evening before when he’d seen how much making love with him had pleasured her. It had been more than physical satisfaction, though what he didn’t dare say. The possibility that she cared for him had cracked his resistance, and being around her only widened that crack with each look, each touch.
He’d told her that the physical was all he could give because it scared him how easy it would be to lay his heart at her feet as well.
His mother’s words rang in his head again, but he tried to silence them. How could his mother believe loving someone was worth the pain brought by the loss of that person? Was love really so strong and satisfying that the risk was worth it?
He strode to the edge of the boat and watched the waves lap against its side. Heavy thoughts for first thing in the morning, especially when Sydney hadn’t indicated she was looking for more than a one-night stand.
She’d said they were adults and could enjoy themselves without getting attached. Maybe he was a little lonely, and his mind was going overboard making him believe he was feeling more than he actually was.
The smell of fresh-brewed coffee drifting from below told him Sydney was awake. He took a deep breath, determined to stay his usual course. These intriguing side roads might prove tempting, but they would lead to either dead ends or heartache.
Yet, his heart skipped a beat when Sydney joined him on deck with two steaming cups of coffee in her hands. For a moment, he imagined her as his wife, bringing him coffee in the morning as his mother had done for his father. No matter how cold, how tired or sick she was, she’d always managed to brew a pot before he went off to work. And though Jake hadn’t thought much about it then, he’d seen his father’s love in the gentle kiss he’d placed on his wife’s forehead each morning when she handed him his coffee.
Jake fought the urge to kiss Sydney on her own pretty forehead. The gesture held too much hidden meaning for him to risk it. Damn it, he was already in danger of falling in love. He didn’t need to invite it in with open arms.
"Thanks," he said when he took the coffee.
"It’s so chilly this morning, coffee sounded good."
Before he thought, he lifted his arm in an invitation for her to slip beneath it. Only to keep her warm, he told himself. But he caught himself holding his breath as she watched the brightening horizon. Damn, she was a beautiful woman. He ached to run his fingers through that shiny blond hair as he had the night before, to mold her sweet lips beneath his.
"The sunrise is pretty from out here," she said. "It looks totally different."
He gazed toward the rising sun. "Yeah. Everything is so quiet this time of day."
"I’ve always thought of it as this short span of peace, that time between when all the bad things in the night go to sleep and when the hectic day gets under way."
He smiled. "You’re quite the philosopher this morning."
She chuckled. "That’s my one profound thought for the year."
They watched the sun ascend, shedding light on a new day — perhaps a day when they’d bring the killer into custody and all the madness surrounding Sydney would be put to rest. A day when Jake would no longer have an excuse for staying with her, as close as her shadow but infinitely more alive.
Her shoulders lifted and fell. "I hate to leave, but I need to get to work."
"How about you call in? Take a few vacation days."
She looked up at him, her bright eyes searching.
"It’s not a demand," he said, quelling that argument before she uttered it. "It’s just a suggestion, a good one."
"Why?"
"Because you’re safer here. Maybe if you lie low for a few days, the killer will slip up and we can nab him."
"Is that the only reason?"
Her gaze caught and held his. He thought of lying, but the words eluded him, replaced by truth — at least a partial truth. "There might be another reason or two."
She arched her eyebrows. "Is that so?"
"Don’t get too cocky. You might not get what your eyes are asking for."
She slid her hand up his chest with agonizing slowness and licked her lips. "It isn’t my eyes that’s yearning for something."
He couldn’t get rid of the coffee cup fast enough. He sloshed coffee onto the deck as he tossed it aside and pulled her more fully against him. He indulged in the kiss he’d imagined only moments before, drawing a quick, deep moan from Sydney.
His hands roamed up her back, under her shirt and across her breasts. They were voracious in their need to touch every square inch of her smooth, tantalizing skin. His tongue delved into her mouth, sending sparks through him as it glided over hers. He went hard as iron and almost inhaled her in his need to love her and be loved by her.
Still tasting her, he guided her toward the stairs. They almost fell twice, a fact that made them nearly collapse in a puddle of laughter by the time they made it into the cabin without breaking their legs. But he quickly stifled her laughter with another kiss. How this woman sent his body up in flames. She made him want sex twenty-four, seven, and when she smiled, the beauty of it pushed away all the ugliness he faced each day when he went to work.
Oh, God. No matter how hard he worked, evil was always there, always multiplying. But Sydney shed light where he hadn’t been aware of its absence.
He backed her toward the bed, tearing at her clothes as he moved. He wanted, needed that feeling of rapture he’d experienced when they joined.
She broke the kiss, and his heart halted for a moment, afraid she was having second thoughts.
"I think..." she said, sucking in air. "I think I need to make a phone call."
He must have looked confused for she smiled and lifted a palm to his cheek.
"To my boss, remember?"
"Oh, yeah." He tried without much success to get his own breathing to settle into some sort of normal rhythm.
She slipped out of his arms, but as she dialed her cell phone, he moved up behind her, their bodies barely touching. But with his lips, he explored the long line of her neck, the soft lobe of her ear, the shoulder he exposed after unbuttoning the rest of her blouse and letting it drop to the floor.
"Uh...Bill?" she said into the phone. She’d closed her eyes and let her head drop back onto Jake’s shoulder. "I’d like to work from home for a few days." She was so much like him, unable to abandon work entirely. But he did his best to make her forget it for a little while by caressing her breasts, her full, round, made-for-sex breasts.
"Okay, I’ll call in later." Sydney disconnected and dropped the phone, but it missed her purse and hit the floor. She didn’t seem to notice. "You are impossible."
"No, actually, I’m quite easy," he said, enjoying teasing her.
"Oh." She swatted his chest. "I’m sure Bill is wondering about my sanity right now."
"I really don’t care what Bill is thinking. I’m more intent on making you stop thinking."
He scooped her into his arms, causing her to squeal. As eager as they’d been the first time, they tossed away their clothes as if they were on fire. He stared into her lovely green eyes as he entered her. Her eyes closed as she took him fully inside her, arching upward as if seeking more. He pushed in as far as possible, then wrapped her in his arms, holding her so close he could feel her heart beating against his.
He loved her. As sure as the world was round, he’d fallen madly in love with Sydney Blackburn. Tears burned his eyes, a sensation so unfamiliar it startled him. Their meaning rang clear in his mind. He loved her, but he couldn’t tell her. With his heart aching, he went about showing her with his body what he couldn’t say with words.
I love you, Sydney.
****
Just as Sydney was placing breakfast on the table, Jake roused from the deep sleep he’d drifted into after they’d made love. She glanced toward him in time to see the blanket slide down to his waist, exposing his wide, firm chest. Her heart jolted at the sight of him rumpled, intoxicatingly masculine and a bit vulnerable considering he wasn’t wearing a stitch of
clothing.
She smiled as he yawned and tried to shake the sleep from his head. How she wished they could stay there, hidden from the outside world.
"You made breakfast." He stood and slipped on his discarded pants.
"I did the best I could with what little you had. Do you never cook?"
"Only when I’m off duty, which is rare."
"That’s not surprising. All I had to do was look at the expiration date on the butter. I think Reagan was president."
He chuckled and pulled her up next to him. "Must be the day for time warps. I think I was eighteen the last time someone cooked breakfast for me, and that was Mom."
He kissed her on the cheek, then strode to the bathroom. She poured fresh coffee to go with the toast and scrambled eggs as she listened to him brush his teeth. They might be in a boat in the middle of Percy Priest Lake, and their food choices might be limited, but the homey atmosphere made her wonder what it’d be like to share mornings with Jake for the rest of her life.
Such daydreams threatened her forced composure. She’d told him they could have a physical relationship without her demanding any level of commitment, but her mind was determined to imagine a normal life with Jake instead of one where he was basically a bodyguard with whom she was having amazing sex.
Her face flamed at the thought of the last few hours. She’d had more sex since stepping onto his boat than she’d had in the past...well, she couldn’t remember how long. And there was no doubting Jake Radley was good at more than detective work.
So caught up in reliving the pleasure he’d given her, she jumped when he opened the bathroom door. Jeez, she had to rein in her emotions before she did or said something she’d regret. She didn’t want to utter her deeper feelings only to have Jake pull away.
"We’ll go get some supplies later today."
"Don’t you have to work?"
"Today’s technically my day off. I’ll keep in touch with the office from here unless something else happens or we get a break. Unfortunately, we’re stumped at the moment."
"Did you find anything at Maggie’s or Stephanie’s apartments?"
"Stephanie’s has already been rented out to someone else, and there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary at Maggie’s. If they got chocolate beforehand, we can’t find any evidence. We’ve notified the post offices to watch for small, light packages with no return address, but the volume of mail they have to go through will prevent them from catching everything that fits that description."
A lull dropped between them like an uninvited guest.
"So, we’ll..."
"Work a little, relax a little. See where the day takes us."
He slid into the chair on the opposite side of the table, and she sank into hers, partly to join him for breakfast and partly to hide her shaking knees. What would everyone think of the situation, her and Jake alone on a boat without much to do? Would they assume they’d use sex to fill their time?
"Would you get in trouble for this?"
"For making love to a beautiful woman?"
She couldn’t help the smile his compliment brought to her lips. He thought she was beautiful. She’d been told that before, but coming from Jake it made her heart swell.
"For becoming involved with someone you’re supposed to be prote
cting."
"As long as I do my job, it’s no one’s business what I do with whom. It’s not like you’re a suspect in a crime." He scooped a forkful of eggs into his mouth.
Her heart expanded even more. Not only was he protecting her from the killer, he’d protect her from gossip as well. The other cops might talk among themselves, but she guessed they’d never utter a word in her presence. Jake would see to that.
"How long do you think we’ll stay out here?" When had she made the decision to stay with him on the boat instead of at her apartment? Probably when she’d dreamed about the killer reaching in her window and grabbing her. She’d awakened with her heart thundering, and even in his sleep Jake had wrapped his arms around her, comforting her.
"I don’t know. We’ll take it day by day, see if the guy makes a move or slips up. I think he’s probably more frustrated than he’s been since he began. The other girls had no idea to watch out for him. You do."
"But he made sure I knew by sending me chocolate and leaving me a message, by calling and taunting. What did he expect?"
"I’m guessing he wasn’t banking on me taking you out of his grasp."
"And that’s why he’s angry with you, too?"
"Partly. But I think it’s more he knew somehow that we were...attracted to each other."
"How would he know that? He’d have to be so close." A shiver ran down her back at the thought of the killer being someone she was near on a regular basis. A neighbor, possibly. Or, heaven forbid, someone at work. She searched her memories for anything out of the ordinary from any of the men in her apartment complex or office. Nothing came to mind.
"That’s what I suspect. I think it’s someone you’ve been near, maybe even met." He leaned forward. "I got the profile back from the FBI. I didn’t see anything that shed light on the killer’s identity but I need you to think about it, see if the profile matches anyone you know."
"Okay."
He went over the analysis, and she strained to match the profile with a face. When he finished, she shook her head.
"It could be almost anyone." It frustrated her that none of the specifics illuminated a light bulb in her memory. "Doesn’t it turn out sometimes that these guys are married with children? They have this secret life their next-door neighbors couldn’t have imagined?"
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