Cam sighed. “He’s angry. But the thing is…we’ve all been there, Dex. You think you’re the only one who’s ever had an unhealthy obsession with a girl? People can have a hold over us for all sorts of reasons. Women are like sirens—they call out to your soul and there’s often not a damn thing you can do about it—you go running whether you want to or not.”
Was he talking about Marama or someone else? Dex wasn’t sure.
“Do you want this girl?” Cam asked.
“No!” Dex spoke vehemently. “God, no.”
“And do you love Honey?”
“Yes. I swear it, Cam. With all my heart.”
“Then let’s forget about it and concentrate on the weekend. But Dex? If you see her again, I want you to come and tell me.”
“I will, sir.”
“This woman is a worthless piece of trash and I won’t have her ruining my girl’s wedding.”
“I understand.” Dex swallowed. Cam’s eyes were hard and cold. He wouldn’t like to make an enemy of the man. He still couldn’t believe Cam had been so understanding—he wouldn’t have been surprised if Cam had phoned Honey immediately and told her, then got her brother to beat him up. Talking of which… “What about Koru?”
“Koru thinks with his heart and not with his head. But he’s been there too. He went out with a girl for a few years in England who got her claws into him. He tried to break it off several times, but each time she swore she couldn’t live without him…you know the drill.”
Dex nodded. Indeed he did. “What happened?”
“Much as the same as what happened to you, I suspect—in the end he just walked out and told her to do her worst. In his case, she carried it through, though—she took an overdose.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. One of those cry for help things, I guess. She knew someone would be walking in the door any minute. I guess she was lucky her mother didn’t decide to go to the shops first on her way home. Anyway, suffice to say Koru knows what you’ve been through and understands what kind of woman you’re dealing with. And he likes you. You’ve been good for Honey. You’ve treated her well. Koru was deeply affected by what that man did to his sister.” Clearly Cam couldn’t bring himself to say Ian’s name. “He blames himself—as we all do—for not seeing it earlier. And he’s watched her blossom with you.”
Dex looked at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed. “I’m going to spend every day for the rest of my life making Honey happy.”
“I know.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t want for anything. She’s a beautiful girl and she deserves the world. I’ll make sure she gets it.”
“I know, son.” Cam nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Okay, I’d better get back to work.”
“I’ll see Koru later.”
“Yeah, well, don’t stress about it—he’s in Whangarei today. He’ll be cool. You’re seeing Honey tonight, eh?”
“Yes. I’ll come around after six. She should be home from the court by then.”
“All right. I might see you then.” Cam walked off.
Dex watched him go, then leaned against the side wall of the station and bent over, hands on his knees. He let out a long, slow breath. Shit, that was close. Cam had every right to knock his teeth down his throat and refuse to let him marry Honey. He couldn’t believe he’d got away with it.
But of course he hadn’t. Because even though Cam and now Koru knew what he’d done, Honey didn’t, and he’d have to hide it from her for the rest of his life. It would be the price he’d have to pay for having her.
He stood and studied the greying sky, his spirits low. It was kind of Cam and Koru to support him, but how could he go on like this? Lying to Honey, pretending everything was okay? Would there ever come a time when the first thing he thought about when he woke up in the morning wasn’t how he had betrayed her?
Chapter Fourteen
Honey stood by the front window, looking down the drive. It was six thirty, and Dex was late.
Her stomach churned. She’d spoken to him briefly after she returned from the courthouse, and once again he’d seemed reluctant to visit her, but he’d finally agreed when she put her foot down and told him she wanted to see him and they were going to have a conversation about what was going on.
The worry that had been gnawing away at her stomach started to work its way upward, filling her with a rising sense of doom. He was having second thoughts about the wedding, she was sure of it now. Why, she didn’t know. It didn’t really matter in the long run. What mattered was that they got it sorted. She had to ask him if he wanted to call it off. Because the last thing she needed was to be left at the altar.
She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the window. What a hell of a day. That afternoon, the prosecuting lawyer had called his other witnesses. It was a mixed bag and a sorry story. By the end of it, Honey was pretty sure she knew what had happened.
No doubt there was some truth to James’s story, and Sarah had probably been overly possessive and jealous of his time, but she’d been driven to act like that because of the way he’d treated her, out all hours, drinking, obviously having affairs, ignoring her half the time. When he left, he had refused to give his key back and had probably told Sarah he would be coming for his stuff but had refused to tell her when. She had almost certainly known it was he when the door opened, and she had confronted him and told him he couldn’t just walk into her house whenever he felt like it. He had told her the flat was his and he’d do whatever he wanted. And she’d finally lost her temper and flown at him.
Almost certainly she had intended to do wound him.
And in Honey’s eyes, the bastard deserved it.
Still, she wasn’t looking forward to making the final decision the next morning. She knew in her heart that most of the jury believed James because he’d been very convincing in painting Sarah as high maintenance and himself as the innocent party who’d tried to do his best for her. It was not going to be an easy ride, and a feeling of dread had descended over her, which wasn’t helped by the impending conversation with her fiancé.
The sound of scrunching gravel filled the air and she opened her eyes to see Dex’s car pull up in front of the house. At that moment, Stormwind was empty—her father still at the shop with Missy and Belle, Daisy in Auckland with Reuben, Koru God knew where with some blonde or other, and Jasmine and Lily had gone to the cinema.
Dex got out of the car, and Honey watched him close the door and then wait a minute, hands on hips, thinking. She put her hand over her mouth. Was he planning to come in and tell her it was all over?
He turned and walked slowly to the door, and she went into the kitchen and started filling the kettle, her hands shaking. She heard him come into the house and listened for his footsteps on the rimu floorboards as he rounded the corner.
“Hey you.” She finished filling the kettle, placed it on its base and flipped the switch. “I’m making a cuppa. You want one?”
She turned, and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, as it always did. He wore cream chinos, his hands jammed in the pockets, and a tight All Blacks rugby shirt. His hair was ruffled, his bright blue eyes serious as he studied her, his brows drawn together in a thoughtful frown. He was the handsomest man she’d ever met, and she’d thought he was hers. Was that still the case?
She walked a few steps toward him and stopped. “You look nice,” she managed, trying not to cry.
For the first time, he smiled, his lips curving a little in one corner. “So do you.”
She glanced down at herself. She’d chosen her outfit carefully—a long, light orange dress that brought out the warm tones in her skin, and she’d undone more buttons than usual, leaving a few inches of cleavage on show and a glimpse of her lacy bra visible above the bodice.
She looked back up at him. His smile gave her courage. His eyes were still warm, and she had seen the way they lit up when he first walked into the room and saw her.
She walked the final few steps up t
o him and rested her hands on his chest. “I missed you,” she murmured, stroking her fingers across the silky black material.
“I missed you too.” His husky voice made the hairs rise on the back of her neck, but he didn’t take his hands out of his pockets.
She raised one hand to cup his face and looked into his eyes. He’d showered, and he smelled of clean male and aftershave, and his cheek was smooth. She brushed her thumb across his lips, then raised herself on tiptoe, leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
She kissed him lightly. He didn’t return it, but neither did he pull away, so she stayed there, moving her mouth across his slowly, closing her eyes, taking the time to enjoy him. She slipped her hand into his hair, liking the feel of the soft strands through her fingers, grazed her teeth on his bottom lip and snaked her other arm around his waist.
Opening her eyes a little, she saw that his were closed but the frown still hovered between them, as if he was fighting with himself, trying to resist her. She pulled him closer, pressing her breasts against his chest, and ran her tongue across his lip.
That did it. He sighed, took his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around her, and she sighed back happily as he opened his mouth and stroked her tongue with his. Fire shot through her, and when he pushed her up against the kitchen counter, she didn’t try to stop him.
Damn, but this waiting was so hard. Perhaps it had all been a mistake—maybe if they’d had sex he wouldn’t be having second thoughts. Emotion rose within her and brought tears to her eyes, but Dex was too busy kissing her to notice. He’d cupped her head and deepened the kiss, and she moaned softly as his hands started exploring her body, stroking her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple beneath the fabric.
He clenched his fingers in her hair, plunging his tongue into her mouth, and his other arm clasped her around the waist firmly. Honey began to spiral out of control. The tension of the last few days, the stress of the case, the promise of her wedding and of finally becoming Dex’s wife, and now her fear of losing him, all of these knotted together, and she clung to him, terrified of letting him go in case he walked out of her life and never came back.
He tore his mouth from hers and planted hot, wet kisses down her neck, and she tipped her head back.
“Don’t leave me,” she couldn’t help saying as he kissed back up to her mouth.
“I won’t.” He kissed her hard, bruising her mouth, but she didn’t care. “I couldn’t Honey, I love you more than anything in the world.”
“Tell me again.”
“I love you.” He kissed her cheeks, her eyes, back to her mouth. “I love you.”
A deep ache filled her, along with an urge to prove that she wanted him. What the hell, they were going to be married at the weekend anyway. She fumbled at his trousers, trying to undo the button, and he groaned and caught her hands.
“Please,” she whispered. “Let me.”
He hesitated, and she raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him again, expecting him to start undoing her dress, maybe even lift her and carry her off to the bedroom.
But he didn’t. He sighed, wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head. “I love you,” he murmured.
Disappointed, wondering why he hadn’t agreed when she’d been so willing, she rested her cheek on his chest. “I love you too,” she said. And she meant it. She loved him more than life itself.
If only the doubt that ate away at her joy like acid would go away, everything would be perfect.
Chapter Fifteen
“I wish you had taken advantage of me,” Honey said.
It was ten minutes later, and she sat curled up on the couch next to Dex, snuggled up to him, his arm around her shoulders. They’d poured themselves a glass of wine, and she sipped hers now, a faint pink staining her cheeks at the obvious memory of the way she’d offered herself to him.
Dex smiled and kissed her hair. “We’ve waited this long. We might as well wait a few days more.” He tucked the hand holding his glass under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her lips. She returned the kiss before resting her cheek back on his shoulder, but he could see she was embarrassed that he’d turned her down.
Yet another reason to feel guilty. Why the hell hadn’t he just whisked her off to the bedroom? It was difficult to explain how he felt. He’d ached for release and when she’d started to unbutton his pants he’d so nearly given in and let her, but something in him—the part that curled up like a poked spider every time he thought about how he’d kissed Cathryn—didn’t want to sully the clean relationship he had with Honey by letting their first sexual experience be a quickie born out of guilt. Although several of his friends had mocked him for waiting and would have laughed at the thought that he’d turned down free sex, he didn’t care. Honey was going to be his wife, and although hopefully they’d get up to a hundred different things in the bedroom once they were wed, for now he wanted to wait until his wedding night. He wanted it to be right.
He leaned his head on the back of the sofa and sank into the cushions, trying to relax. He’d been terrified about seeing Honey again, wondering if she’d heard what had happened, and if she hadn’t, whether he’d feel the compulsion to blurt it out. Even though he’d promised Cam he wouldn’t say anything, in the end he’d told himself that he should call off the wedding—it was only fair to her because she deserved so much more than him. But when it came to it, he couldn’t get the words out. She’d stood there in the kitchen, the evening sunlight turning her hair golden, her skin glowing, looking at him the way that only she did—with her big brown eyes full of admiration and hope, as if he was a hero. Dex wanted to be someone’s hero.
He was tired of thinking about it and just wanted to put it all behind him. He kissed Honey’s hair again, his body aching for release. Only three more days, he thought desperately. Surely he could wait that long?
“Tell me about the courtroom,” he said to take his mind off sex for a moment. “How did it go today?”
She shrugged without looking up. “We’ve finished hearing the testimonies. Tomorrow we have to make our decision.”
“Cut and dried or is it a difficult one?”
She glanced up then and bit her lip. “I’m not supposed to talk about it.”
He smiled. “I know. But you look worried. I promise not to give my opinion, if you want to get something off your chest.”
She looked into her wine glass. “It’s about a woman who’s been abused by her partner.”
His heart sank for her. “Oh, sweetheart…”
“I know. Of all things. He’s just horrible, Dex. He’s sitting there watching her the whole time with a smug, superior look on his face, because he’s so certain we’re going to find him the innocent party.”
“Do you think you will?”
“I think she meant to cause him harm when he came into her house. But I don’t know that I can find her guilty.”
He studied her face. He should tell her that she shouldn’t bring her own experiences into the courtroom—that she should make a judgement based on the facts alone. Of course she would sympathise with the woman, but she shouldn’t find the defendant innocent just because she felt sorry for her. But the judge would have already told her that. What was the point in irritating her by telling her what she already knew?
He studied her face, her intelligent eyes bright with an unusual fervour. She painted herself so often in the role of victim where Ian Mc-Fucking-Idiot was concerned that Dex realised he’d fallen into the trap of thinking of her that way. But she wasn’t a victim, and she wasn’t stupid. She had a heart as big as an ocean and just as deep, but even though she’d been abused and it had taken a while for her to escape Ian’s claws, she’d had the courage to walk out of the relationship and start a new life for herself. She wasn’t weak and this wasn’t the Palaeolithic period where he could cart her off to his cave by her hair. She wasn’t going to stay with him just because he loved her. He’d do best to remember that.
The front door clicked and then Cam appeared in the doorway, looking across at them with surprise. “Hey, you two.” He placed his jacket over the dining chair. “I thought you’d be out walking, sorry.”
Good job they hadn’t gone to bed, Dex thought with relief. His heart thundered at the memory of his conversation with Cam earlier that day, but he forced his mouth into a smile.
“It’s okay, Dad. We’re just talking,” Honey said, casting an amused glance up at her fiancé.
“There’s a bottle of pinot gris open in the fridge if you’d like some,” Dex said.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Cam went and poured a glass, brought it back and sat heavily in the chair opposite them. “Phew. What a day.”
“Have you missed me?” Honey asked.
“Of course.” Cam took a large mouthful of wine and gave a long, approving sigh. “Missy’s not keen on the pastries but she has a go. She does well, but they don’t have your fine touch.” He winked at his daughter. His eyes met Dex’s momentarily, and Dex had to force himself not to drop his gaze but to meet Cam’s openly, to show him everything was fine.
“Has Aroha been helping out?” Honey asked innocently.
Cam gave her a wry look. “Don’t start.”
Honey smiled. “Just wondered.”
Cam knocked back another mouthful, slipped down a little in the chair and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m not looking to marry again.”
“You don’t have to marry her, Dad,” Honey berated him. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have some company? To go to the cinema and stuff?”
“I can go to the cinema with you guys.”
“Yeah,” Honey said, “’cause that’s completely the same thing.”
He raised his head and gave her an exasperated look. “Why does everyone keep feeling the need to push me into dating again?”
“We’re not trying to push you, sir,” Dex said, seeing the way Cam clutched his glass, the frown lines on his forehead. “Of course it’s your own business.”
“No, it’s not,” Honey said. “You know when you have kids you don’t have private moments ever again.”
Sweet as Honey (The Seven Sisters) Page 9
