"Did you bring the earplugs, too?" he asked, earning him a wounded look from Lys. "Just kidding, honey. I can't wait to hear those guitars tearing my eardrums apart."
She laughed. "That's what Mom says, but she likes that classical stuff." She grinned at her mother. "And Barry Manilow."
Danni glanced at her watch. "Honey, why don't you and Seth go on in? I need to talk to Rafe a minute."
Lyssa and Seth exchanged looks before he held out his hand. "C'mon, toots, we'll let the old folks take their time."
"I want to get a tour T-shirt before they're all picked over," Lyssa said as she took his hand. "See you guys, later, okay?"
"We won't be long," Danni said with a smile.
Rafe fought a sinking feeling as he watched them wend their way through the crowd which had thinned noticeably while they'd been talking. A half dozen times before he'd gotten on the plane at noon Washington time, he'd taken out his phone to cancel. Danni thought he was ruthless. Hell, a ruthless man only thought of himself, right? Why should he care if Lyssa was disappointed?
He cared, damn it. He cared too much. So far he hadn't figured out how to stop. But he would, because this way was killing him.
Reluctantly, he shifted his attention to Danni who wasn't quite glaring at him, but she looked far from happy. He leaned on his crutches and braced himself for another blast. He couldn't fathom what he'd done wrong this time, but he figured to find out soon enough.
"Seth has become the brother Lys always wanted," she said, her expression softening. "She's trying to fix him up with her algebra teacher."
Now that was a curve he hadn't expected. Her game, he decided, so he'd play it her way. "Is this teacher a blonde?" he asked, watching her eyes for clues to where she was going with this.
"Blondish," she said after reflection. "More like strawberry."
Still puzzled, he played along. "Long legs?"
Her lashes flickered. "All the way to her neck."
"Two out of two, that should do it."
It was worse than she'd anticipated. Danni thought with a sinking heart. He was polite. He even smiled. But his eyes reminded her of the deepest part of the river where they'd fished, reflecting her own image back to her, but revealing nothing beneath the depths. Only when he'd first seen Lyssa had he seemed like the man who had opened his heart to her by the pond. When his gaze had shifted toward her, however, that man had gone away, to be replaced by an impassive stranger. It hurt, she realized, taking a breath. It hurt terribly.
"I, uh, appreciate you letting Papa know you'd be spending time with your folks for the next few days." She hadn't meant to sound stiff. Nerves always made her retreat into a studied politeness.
He didn't understand, she realized as his mouth hooked up at one corner, giving his face a sardonic look she'd never seen before. "Just following the rules, Doctor."
There was a pressure growing in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She arched her back slightly, trying to free space for her lungs to work. It only made it worse. "I suppose you know Seth has managed to locate bank accounts Folsom opened under various aliases in Canada and Mexico."
He nodded. "You'll have to share with the other victims, but at least you'll get something."
"Enough to pay off most of my credit card debt." The front of the Tacoma Dome was mostly empty now. The concert was about to start. As she glanced around an industrious middle-aged scalper wearing a Mariners' ball cap held up two tickets, his expression hopeful. She shook her head, drawing Rafe's gaze to the man who looked away as soon as Rafe made eye contact. She knew the feeling. Those green eyes could be lethal. They could also blaze with passion or crinkle with wry humor. But it was the tender look that had shimmered there when he'd asked her to marry him that she saw every night in her dreams.
"So, uh, how are you doing?" she blurted out, her well-practiced, logical plan scrambling.
His gaze narrowed. "Depends on what you're really asking, Daniela." His beautiful mouth hardened. "If you mean, do I still feel as though you stripped out my heart and slammed it in the dirt, the answer is yes, but I'm getting over it."
She heard the bitterness and the pain. It stabbed deep, like a blade aimed at her heart. "I, uh, wanted to apologize for saying you were like Folsom. I … overreacted."
"Did you?"
She noticed he had begun to look terribly tired. Or was he merely impatient to escape? It was difficult to tell. "I'm sorry, Rafe," she said quietly as a police cruiser drove past slowly. "I seem to be so … incompetent lately. I don't seem to be able to handle even the simplest things."
Something lashed out at her from those eyes, as quick as a slap. "Which simple thing are we talking about?"
Patching up a broken heart, for one thing.
"Do you mind if we finish this sitting down?" she asked, gesturing toward a raised concrete planter filled with flowering perennials in the center of the sea of cement. Without waiting for an answer she turned and walked toward the man-made island to sit on the wide concrete lip designed as a bench. A large jay perched on one of the rhododendron bushes scolded irately before finally taking noisy flight.
Behind her he cursed under his breath, but he followed. In the three weeks since he'd been out of the hospital, he'd become fairly proficient using the crutches and managed to sit without too much trouble. After putting aside his crutches, he crossed his arms over his chest and waited.
"If you're going to close me out, there's not much sense in my saying anything," she said with a pointed look at the brawny arms straining the ribbing of his maroon polo shirt. Losing weight had added a sparse austerity to his features and added more definition to his impressive musculature.
Sighing, he uncrossed his arms, bracing his hands on the seat instead. "Obviously, you're not real eager to hear the Acid Whatevers," he said, watching her.
"Are you?"
"God, no!" There was a brief glimmer of humor in his eyes before he wiped it away. "Suppose you tell me why I'm here."
She toyed with the strap of her purse, realized what she was doing and folded her hands atop her stomach. His gaze flickered over her tummy, and then her breasts, and she felt her nipples reacting. Heat bloomed inside her, part desire, part fear. "You asked me a question the day Folsom was shot. I didn't give you an answer. I'd like to give you my answer now." She took a deep breath and tried to block out even the smallest possibility of rejection. "I'd be proud to marry you, Rafe. If you still want me." Her heart was racing so fast she couldn't count the beats if her life depended on it, and her mouth felt dry. The pressure in her chest was agonizing.
"That must have been some speech Linc handed you," he drawled, his gaze fixed on the parking lot where row after row of vehicles waited patiently for the freeway snarl to begin again.
"Did he tell you we talked?"
He shook his head. "Not a word."
"Then how did you know?"
His mouth softened slightly. "Deductive reasoning. Margie has the world's most romantic soul. She's also worried about me. Linc suddenly left on urgent business without telling me where. I'm sure she sent Linc to talk to you, and even though I imagine he considered it worse than any duty he's ever pulled, he did it because he's crazy about his wife."
She sighed. The baby stirred, punching out with both a foot and a fist as the little one shifted from one side to the other, trying to get comfortable in her rapidly decreasing space. The smothering feeling was all too real. Somehow she managed to take in a deep breath.
"I can't recall the entire conversation verbatim," she said. "Two things do stand out, however. One was the part where he told me he considered my behavior chicken do-do."
That got to him, crinkling his eyes in that half mischievous, half amused way she loved. "Knowing Linc, I figure you sanitized that some."
"Actually, his language was pretty much G-rated, although the look in his eyes would have been censored for violent content."
His mouth curved wryly. "What shows is only a fraction of what
's inside."
"Is that the same with all you government types?" she wondered aloud.
His smile hardened away. "Pretty much, yeah."
A roar went up from the crowd inside, followed by the muffled sound of music pounding through state-of-the art speakers. She glanced toward the huge rounded structure before returning her gaze to his forbidding profile. "The other part was where he told me he couldn't quite despise me because you … cared about me." She took a breath. "Or used to, anyway."
He shrugged the shoulder that hadn't taken a bullet. The one bearing the scars of her nails. He was giving nothing away. She felt the baby kick and rubbed the spot. His gaze flickered to her hand then jerked away.
"Cut to the chase, Danni. What exactly do you want from me?"
"Exactly what you offered me by the pond, Rafe. Love, a father for my daughters, marriage, more babies. A boy, I think next time. With green eyes and his father's dimples."
Rafe stared straight ahead as the image she'd painted hung in the air. It was as though she'd seen into his soul and taken a snapshot of his deepest longing. He felt as though all his internal walls were cracking, threatening to release emotions so powerful he'd kept them hidden deep.
Something twisted inside him when he realized he'd tried so hard to kill off his feelings for her he might just have succeeded. "Why me?"
"Because I love you."
"Why?" he asked again, feeling as though he'd just swallowed nails.
She took a breath. "These are not necessarily in order of importance," she said before taking another, deeper breath. It should have pleased him that she seemed as nervous as he had that day of the fiesta. Now he wasn't sure how he felt. Impatient mostly, he realized as she squared slender shoulders. "Reasons why I love Rafael Cardoza," she recounted as though saying a piece in school. "Because I only have to look at his body and mine goes all soft and hot inside." She ran her hand over the thigh that wasn't in a cast and he felt his muscle contract involuntarily. She grinned. He frowned.
"I have this deep desire to laugh with you again in the shower and argue about silly things over cookies and milk on a rainy Saturday and plan important things in front of a fire while our children are asleep," she said, her voice suddenly soft and intense. "I want to know that I can go home after a day that's left me feeling limp and discouraged and feel those strong arms close around me, shutting out the world long enough for my courage to return. I want to be there for you when you're discouraged or sad or furious because you can't quite make yourself perfect enough not to make mistakes. I want to take our children to the vineyard so your family and mine can make a fuss over them."
She took the hand he hadn't realized had curled into a fist and pressed it to her belly. "I want this to be the hand holding mine when this little girl is born. I want it to be your face she sees next to mine when she opens her eyes for the first time. And I want to give her your name as well as mine."
He felt the baby moving, a soft little nudge against his palm as though a downy little head were nuzzling against him. The cracks in his inner walls opened wider. "I'm still the same man you rejected," he said, staring into her eyes.
"I was scared," she admitted. "And hurt because you shut me out."
"You know why I did that."
"Yes, but it took me a while to push aside the emotion I'd piled up. Linc helped." Her mouth curved. "Actually, he did more exploding than pushing, but the result was the same. I went home that night and realized how empty the house was without you."
He cleared his throat. It still felt scoured. "I'm … flattered, and you'll never know how much I want to accept all you're offering."
Fear dilated her pupils until her eyes were deep black pools. "Oh God, why do I think there's a but coming?" she muttered.
He curled his fingers tighter around hers. "A month ago, I would already be hustling you to the nearest jeweler, but…"
Sadness crept over her face, tearing at him. "But it's too late? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Maybe. Probably," he admitted reluctantly. "For years I've tried to make myself stop loving you. God help me, I don't know how I feel now, and you deserve more than that from a man."
Danni studied that dear face with the lines of suffering and experience gouged deep, studied the eyes filled with wariness and another emotion that looked like regret. Studied the mouth that paradoxically seemed intensely … vulnerable.
"You're scared," she blurted out as the truth dawned. "That's it, isn't it?"
He glowered at her. "Government types are never scared," he muttered.
Excitement burst inside her. "Oh yes you are. It was easy loving me when it was just in the abstract, but now all of a sudden it might turn out to be real and you're having second thoughts." She felt strong, suddenly. Powerful. For the first time in months—years—she felt whole. She allowed her lips to smile. "I've learned something these past weeks, Rafe. Do you want to know what that is?"
His face tightened. "Do I have a choice?" he asked tautly.
She laughed. "I've learned that material possessions aren't essential to happiness. I loved my house and my beautiful Lexus and my antiques, but when I heard those gunshots exploding, all I could think about was that I might be losing the two people I cared about most in the world. And for what? Because some jackass ripped me off and I wanted him to pay." She took a breath and kept her gaze steady on his. His hand had tightened around hers and his breathing wasn't as steady as it should be. All good signs, she told herself.
"In that moment I didn't care about my stuff or justice or some greater good. All I cared about was you. I realize now that you felt the same way. Maybe you're more, um…" She paused, groping for another word for ruthless. His mouth moved.
"Ruthless?" he suggested with a hint of a smile.
"Single-minded," she compromised before lifting his hand to her lips. She felt him tense as she kissed his hand. "If you need to walk away to protect yourself from all that scary stuff like commitment and the day-to-day hassles of living with a teenager and a baby, I understand. But be warned, I'm tenacious when I want something and I want you."
His brows drew together. "You do?"
"Oh yes, amazingly mucho. Once this baby is born, I intend to pursue you shamelessly. If I have to move to Washington, I will."
His frown took on bewildered edges. "You'd do that?"
"In a heartbeat." She took a chance. "I'm not afraid of loving you, Rafe. And I know you love me. I can feel it. All I'm asking is that you give us a chance."
A tormented look came into his eyes. "What if I don't love you, Danni?"
"Impossible." She touched his face and felt his tremble. "Feel what I can do just by touching you. Imagine what an impact I could have if I rubbed my fat little body all over yours."
The smile started in his eyes. "That's probably not a good idea at the moment," he muttered hoarsely, glancing around.
A knot of cops and security types were hanging out near one of the light standards. One or two cast a speculative look their way. Rafe recognized the expressions. A few more minutes and one of them would amble by to see what was going on. He shifted his gaze to the face he'd never forgotten. Her beautiful face.
How many chances did a man get to grab a handful of stardust? he wondered. To hold his dream in his arms. Maybe he wasn't the brightest guy, but he knew when Fate had handed him one more shot at happiness.
"If you take me on, it'll have to be forever, Danni," he warned, his voice growing rougher. "I don't believe in divorce."
"Neither do I."
"I'll be your husband and a father to your babies, all of them. I'll love them without holding anything back, the way I love you. The way I need to be loved, despite my many flaws, several of which you have already—and repeatedly—pointed out."
He lifted an eyebrow and she nodded, her eyes sparkling. "I do love you," she murmured. "Despite those, um, regrettable lapses in perfection."
He felt those walls crumbling one after the other, leav
ing him wide open to her. It didn't just scare him—it flat out terrified him. But he figured he'd get used to it. "I'll never keep anything from you again—unless it has to do with my job. I'll be there for you when you need me. I'll protect you and the kids and you'll never have to wonder if I'm faithful to you." He stopped, frowned. Tried to think if there was anything else.
"Can I kiss you now?" she asked, her smile soft.
"Not yet, there are conditions." That wiped away the smile, he saw.
"What conditions?" she asked warily.
"From this moment on that baby doing handstands in that humongous tummy of yours is mine, no one else's. When she's old enough, we'll give her bare bones about the man who provided the sperm, but in every way that counts she's mine." He narrowed his gaze. "Agreed?"
Her smile was the sun and the stars and a light in the dark. "Agreed."
"We get married before she's born so she doesn't have to live with any kind of stain."
A look he couldn't quite read came into her eyes. "Agreed, but the Mommy Brigade would be crushed if we didn't have the wedding in Portland."
"A week, no more."
"Agreed."
He felt the tension drain away. "Then it's settled. You'll marry me?"
"Happily! Eagerly."
His throat felt thick. "You can kiss me now," he prodded.
"I thought you'd never ask." She tugged on his hair, pulling him down for a long, smoldering kiss. With a growl, he pulled her onto his lap, wrapped his arms around both her and his daughter and rested his cheek against hers.
The cop that had been approaching smiled. "Everything okay here, folks?"
Danni's grin blazed. "Perfect, officer. This big hunk has finally decided to make an honest woman of me."
The cop grinned. "Congratulations. Being as I have six myself, I think I ought to advise you to do it real quick like. Just in case."
Rafe nodded. "As soon as our daughter's finished ruining her eardrums, we're fixing on doing just that."
Danni waited until the cop was out of earshot before turning her face up to Rafe's. "It's taken us so long, but finally, I think we've found what we've always known we wanted." She lifted her free hand to his face and touched her forefinger to the scar at the corner of his mouth. "I adore you, my dearest Rafe. My own gift from God."
DADDY WITH A BADGE Page 25
