She was wiping Joey’s tears from his cheek when Shep appeared in the doorway. Before he entered the room, he started to say, “Raina, if you’d like something to eat—”
He stopped when he saw the three of them huddled on the bed.
Joey tucked his head more securely into Raina’s shoulder and wouldn’t look at his dad.
Roy leaned over and whispered to Raina, “Joey’s afraid Dad will be mad because he didn’t fight Ben.”
Shep’s expression grew troubled. His brows drew together, and his jaw seemed more sharply angled. But his voice was calm and gentle as he asked, “What’s going on?”
Bending toward Joey, Raina whispered in his ear, “I understand about Ben. But you have to look your dad in the eye and tell him what’s happening at school. That’s the only way he can help.”
Finally, Joey lifted his head, his big dark eyes swimming with tears. Swiping them away, he sniffed, and in a low voice, told Shep, “A boy at school stole my medal and stuffed it in his desk. He’s mean. In the morning before school he comes to my locker and says you don’t really want us. You just took us in so we could do chores for you. He says real parents are the only parents that count.”
Raina could see Joey’s words disturbed Shep deeply. Anger flared in his eyes, that someone could do this to his son.
“You’re mad,” Roy blurted out, seeing Shep’s reaction. Kids were so good at reading adults, better than parents ever imagined.
As if he were counting to ten, Shep took in a breath, let it out, then beckoned to Joey. “Come here, son.”
Pulling away from the eight-year-old, Raina patted him on the back, encouraging him.
Uneasily, Joey slid off the bed and stood before Shep, looking scared and lonely and altogether unsure of what was going to happen next.
As Shep crouched down to Joey so they were on eye level, he asked, “Is this why you didn’t want to go to school?”
Joey nodded.
Shep put his hand on his boy’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m angry, but not at you. I’m mad that someone didn’t see this happening. I’m also angry at myself that I didn’t realize what was going on. Answer me something, Joey. Do you really believe that I wanted to adopt you and Roy so you could do chores?”
Joey didn’t answer right away.
The nerve in Shep’s jaw pulsed, but his gaze didn’t leave his son’s. “Do I do chores, too?”
Biting his lower lip, Joey thought about that, then answered, “Every day. You feed the horses. You fix the fence. You ride the horses. You even mow the field sometimes.”
“That’s right, and when I’m not here, what do I do?”
“You go to the lumberyard. You work on the computer and carry stuff from one place to the other—stuff people build houses with.”
“That’s right. That’s my job. Right now, you don’t have a job. You have school. That’s sort of where you work. Chores are always part of life. On a ranch, I guess maybe there are more than if you live in a house in town. But I believe chores teach you and Roy about work. Do you understand that?”
Joey exchanged a look with Roy, then replied, “I understand.”
“Good, now I want you to listen. I adopted you because I want to be your dad. I am your real parent now, and I’ll be your dad forever.” Shep pulled Joey into a hug. “I’ll fix this, Joey. We’ll get your medal back.” Shep straightened and tipped up his son’s chin. “Believe me?”
“Yes, sir.”
Shep gave him a pat on the back. “Go on, now. Get ready for bed.”
“Can you read to us?” Roy asked Raina.
“Get your pj’s on and brush your teeth. Pick out a good book, then I’ll be back.” From the look on Shep’s face, he was going to do something, and she wanted to know what it was. It wouldn’t be good if he acted out of anger. But she knew he was probably mad enough to do that, although he’d put that aside when he was talking to Joey. Shep seemed to be able to compartmentalize his feelings, and she didn’t know if that was good or bad.
Shep nodded to Manuel’s room. Knowing Eva was with the baby downstairs, Raina went to the nursery. Once she was inside, Shep shut the door. Then he paced across the small space. “Why didn’t someone see what was happening to him? Why didn’t I?”
“You can’t see everything, Shep. You can’t be everything.”
“That’s a bunch of bull, Raina. I’m supposed to see these things. He had bellyaches and Dr. Rossi suspected something might be wrong at school.”
“Or at home…or because of Manuel’s adoption,” she added, reminding him there had been lots of possibilities.
Shep shoved his hands into his pockets. “What else did Roy and Joey tell you? What else wouldn’t they tell me?”
Going to her husband, Raina clasped his upper arm. “They respect you, Shep. They don’t want you to be disappointed in them. The stakes are a lot higher with you than they are with me.”
Pushing his fingers through his hair, Shep gazed at her face, searching it, looking for the truth. “What else did they say?”
“Joey was afraid you’d think he was a coward for not fighting this…Ben. Since the incident with the medal just happened today, it might still be in his desk.”
“His name’s Ben Raddigan. I saw the kid at the open house before school started. He’s bigger than Joey, and I think he was kept back last year. I’m going to call his parents.”
This time Raina gripped Shep’s arm more firmly. “Maybe you should think about notifying the teacher, and let her handle it.”
“Why deal with someone who can mess this up, when I can do it myself?”
Raina wasn’t sure why, but Shep seemed to have a poor opinion of authority figures. When was he going to tell her about his childhood…his teenage years? His attitude now, the way he wanted to handle this situation, was probably rooted there.
She stepped into his space until their toes were touching, until their bodies were only a few inches from contact. That seemed to get his attention. “How does Joey’s teacher want you to get in touch with her if you have to?”
“I can e-mail or phone her, but Raina, you don’t get—”
“I do get that you want this settled quickly, but I really believe the way not to embarrass Joey and to produce the best outcome is to consult with his teacher and see what she suggests. Some schools have a policy about this.”
“About bullies?”
“Yes. It’s become a real problem, and teachers are trained to deal with it. So don’t take for granted that she won’t listen to you and understand your concerns. She listened when you spoke with her about Joey before, didn’t she?”
Their gazes collided and Raina saw the turmoil in Shep. Apparently he was torn. He wanted to do what was best for Joey but wasn’t absolutely sure what that was. Finally, he nodded.
“Yes, she did. Although apparently she didn’t see what was happening. I’ll call her. But I’m not letting this go any longer than it has to. I’ll use the phone downstairs in my office. Do you mind getting Roy and Joey ready for bed?”
She was beginning to think of herself as not only “a mother” but as “their mother.” Obviously, Shep wasn’t thinking of her in that way yet. She guessed he imagined that at some point, she’d really leave. But she wasn’t going anywhere.
“Don’t ever think I mind taking care of the boys. I feel more like a mom every day, and I think they’re starting to see me that way. We’re going to be parents together, right? They’re all ours.”
After a short silence, he nodded. “I’d like to think they are.” He dropped his arm around her and brought her in for a kiss, a short but resounding kiss that lit their desire in a way that might carry into bedtime.
Desire was wonderful and exciting and thrilling, but she wanted more than desire from Shep. She loved Shep McGraw, and if he couldn’t learn to love her, her heart was going to be broken once more.
In the next half hour, Raina stayed with the boys upstairs and read to them. As she turned page after page of one of their
favorite books, she sensed Joey glancing at her often. Finally he asked, “What’s Dad gonna do?”
Closing the book, she told him honestly, “He’s speaking with your teacher. We’ll figure this out, honey. I promise.”
“And she keeps her promises,” Roy assured his brother.
“Yes, I do.”
Boots sounded on the steps. Carrying Manuel, Shep brought the toddler into Roy and Joey’s room to say good night. Raina looked up at him with questioning eyes, but his expression said they’d talk after all the little cowboys were in bed. So she gave Manuel a kiss and a hug, and helped Shep tuck in Joey and Roy. Usually she hugged Joey. But tonight, he hugged her.
With the house quiet, Shep led Raina to their room, checked the baby monitor, then closed the door. “I asked Eva to come in a little earlier in the morning. Mrs. Swenson suggested I bring Joey early tomorrow. She mentioned being pleased that you sent her the note about us being married.”
“I meant to tell you I did that, but it just slipped my mind.”
“I guess so, with work and the kids.” He hesitated a moment, then added, “And us.”
Although the subject was serious, heat shot through her when he looked at her like that. “Did she listen to you?”
“Actually, she did. She didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to contact Ben’s parents. She’d like to handle it differently, according to the school’s policies. She said they’re dealing with more than bullying here…with stealing, too. And she wants to handle that between the two boys first thing in the morning. I’m not sure exactly what she’s going to do. The truth is, I don’t like putting this in someone else’s hands. But I want to do what’s best for Joey, so we’ll try it her way first.”
“And if her way doesn’t work, you’ll come out with guns blazing?” Raina guessed, half teasing, half serious.
“If that’s what it takes.”
She knew he meant it, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d fight for her the same way he’d fight for his kids.
Crossing to her, he wrapped his arms around her. “You were great tonight with Joey and Roy. In fact—”
“In fact?”
“In fact, I’ve got to admit I was a little jealous. For over a year and a half I’ve been trying to get them to trust me. Tonight they trusted you as if you’d been living here and taking care of them that long, too.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m a woman.”
“I thought about that, and maybe that’s part of it. But there’s more, too. Something I’m missing.”
“They respect you, Shep. They love you and they don’t want to let you down. Joey thought you’d be mad at him. He had a lot more to risk in telling you.”
“I want them to be able to tell me anything.”
She suspected the boys were hesitant to talk to him about their emotions because Shep didn’t talk about his. How could she say that without it sounding like a criticism? But she didn’t even know if she was right. They really hadn’t been living together long enough for her to know.
“You can’t fight all their battles for them, and they probably know that even better than you.”
“How I handle this tomorrow is important, isn’t it?”
“Yes. But loving them every day is important, too, and that’s what you’ve been doing.”
After he searched her face, seeing that she meant her words, he smiled. “You know how to make a man feel ten feet tall.”
“You mean you’re not that tall?” she asked, joking.
He laughed and kissed her hard, pressed his tongue into her mouth, and she felt the world drop away. Soon he was cupping her bottom and her legs were around him and she couldn’t remember what they’d been talking about.
Did she want him so badly because her hormones were in turmoil from her pregnancy? Or did she want him so badly because her love for him was growing deeper each day? She didn’t know. She only knew that when he kissed her like this, nothing else mattered except the joining of their bodies, their mutual pleasure and the child inside of her, who she hoped would bring them closer together.
Right now their bodies were almost as close as they could get, their clothes the only impediments. But that soon changed, as Shep’s hands grabbed fistfuls of her tunic top, trying to push it out of the way. She couldn’t get to his belt buckle, not as long as he was holding her this tightly.
“I can’t undress you unless you put me down,” she said breathlessly as he broke away to kiss her neck and then her shoulder.
“If I put you down, we’ll lose momentum,” he growled.
“Momentum doesn’t have anywhere to go with your jeans on.”
She could feel his chest ripple with his chuckle as he set her gently on her feet. By the time she’d lifted her tunic over her head and pushed off her capris, he’d shucked off his jeans and briefs. Then he was holding her again, backing her up against the closet door, kissing her as if the world was going to end tonight and he’d never get a chance to do this again.
Raina didn’t know where the intensity in Shep was coming from. But she didn’t care, because it set her desire ablaze in a more spectacular way than it had before. She could hardly catch her breath as he held her hands above her head and pressed tightly against her. She intertwined her fingers with his, and held on for dear life as he teased her breasts with his chest hair and his tongue searched her mouth. They’d had sex before. They’d pleasured each other before. But never with this desperate intensity and need.
He wove his fingers into her hair, stroking it away from her face, kissing her cheek and her temple, and the pulse point at the base of her throat. Shep’s pleasure giving was wonderful, but she wanted it to be mutual. She ran her hands down his sides, hesitated briefly on his hips and stretched her fingers to the front of him, to the most virile part of him. When she cupped him, he bowed his forehead against hers.
“You don’t play fair,” he grumbled. “And because you don’t, I’m going to have to show you what teasing a man will get you.”
“Bring it on,” she said, challenging flirtatiously.
His gaze crashed into hers, blue eyes on brown, his filled with enough heat to melt her. Melted or not, she didn’t back down, didn’t close her eyes, didn’t shut him out.
“You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met,” he growled.
“And you’re one of the most generous men I’ve ever met, opening your house to the boys…and to me.”
“Opening my house to you had nothing to do with generosity.” His kisses started again.
Before she thought about what he’d said, he began touching her the way a woman only dreamed of being touched. The closet door supported her as he trailed kisses to her cleavage, then made her feel like the most adored woman on earth. He kissed her breasts all over. He touched them. He caressed them. When his mouth centered on her nipple, pulling and teasing and taunting, he made her so restless she could only move against his body, expressing without words what she wanted most.
“Not yet,” he whispered under his breath more than once, as her right breast became the focus of his attention this time.
Raina was trembling, her body overloading on flaming sensations. Standing here with Shep was so different than leisurely lying in bed. It seemed to enunciate more clearly each kiss and caress, each tease of his tongue on her skin, each area he’d never touched before. She was an open book to him, letting him write where he pleased. He didn’t miss a line or a page.
Before she knew what he was going to attempt to do, he knelt down before her and let his palms trail over her tummy…the place where their child lay. He was always reverent about that, and it was one of the reasons she trusted him so. But then his hands clasped her hips, his thumbs tracing slow erotic circles.
She thought her blood couldn’t get any hotter, but she was wrong about that. When he gently scraped his nails over her backside, then moved his thumbs into the black hair that was fine and silky, she couldn’t breathe.
“Shep,
we can move to the bed.”
“We can do this right here.”
He lowered his head, touched his tongue to her most sensitive place and she let out a little cry.
“Don’t try to keep it in, Raina. If I make you feel good, I want to know.”
“The boys…”
“These old walls are thick.”
His tongue touched her again, left a halo of heat and began a journey he intended to finish. She could only go along for the ride. The texture of his lips was searing hot as his tongue bathed her in an iridescent storm of excitement. She arched into him. He took more of her, and then the tip of his tongue sent her to heaven. She would have collapsed into his arms, but he rose to meet her, wrapped her securely in his embrace and carried her to the bed where she turned to him, eager to love him. But he stopped her by tucking her into the crook of his arm.
“Shep, what are you doing? I want to give you pleasure, too.”
“I had my pleasure watching you.”
“But you’re still…”
“I’ll settle down when you fall asleep on my shoulder. I always do.”
“But—”
“Don’t overanalyze, Raina.”
“If you want—”
“I’ll let you know what I want and when I want it. I want you to do the same. We’ll learn each other’s desires. It might just take a little time.”
And communication, she thought. But she also worried about tonight and what had happened. Had he pleasured her so he was in control? In control of what? Their sex life? What happened in their marriage? Did he even realize that, by not accepting what she wanted to give him, he was preventing them from really becoming close? Was he trying to prove to himself that he didn’t need her?
Shep had so many walls that she was having a difficult time figuring them all out—and she was beginning to wonder if he would ever let her break them down.
Chapter Ten
“Is Raina going to be there?” Joey asked as Shep drove his son to school the next morning.
“No, she had appointments this morning. But I’m going to be there while you meet with Ben and your teacher. I’ll be right outside the classroom door waiting, so you can tell me how it goes.”
The Texan’s Happily-Ever-After Page 13
