The special team scored the extra point and not too long after the Packers took the field for a few more plays, the buzzer sounded. They’d won by twenty-seven points, a resounding victory. He felt like he’d won the lottery, and he guessed he had. This was his life now. Tens of thousands of people watching him play, screaming his name as men tried to hurt him. They would talk shit, but he didn’t care, couldn’t care because caring meant the assholes won. Their words were just words, nothing more.
As he walked into the locker room, he stopped and realized that dreams really did come true. He was playing the best sport in the world and getting paid. His life was amazing and he was gay. Of course no one really knew he swung that way, but that didn’t matter, not at the moment. He was living his dream, and he was gay. Today’s win had cemented his confidence, fulfilling a huge part of his aspirations to be a successful pro player. Now, he just had to keep his position as starting quarterback.
The Chargers could try to pull in a new person to fill the spot since their star had been injured. It would hurt, but he should expect them to think about looking. He was young, right out of college, and untested. Sure, he’d won one game, but could he continue playing on this level? He sure as hell hoped they gave him a chance to prove himself, because he’d do everything in his power to show he not only had the skill, but the heart to play NFL ball.
Flash bulbs went off, reporters shouted, their noise shocking. It was different than what he’d dealt with before. He’d known this was coming, but still it was strange. Giving an interview and being cordial was all part of the gig. The high he’d experienced during and after the game had begun to wear off. His energy lessened, an emotional crash hovered close. Honestly the last thing he wanted to do was talk, but he went over to the reporters, standing where they asked him to. He smiled and wiped his chin when the female reporter, Tina, told him he had a grass stain on his face. The lights were on, the camera rolling, his heart thundering, and he was set to give his sound bite.
“Mr. Mercer, how do you feel after your first regular season game win?” Tina asked.
Seth smiled at the camera and gave a quick laugh, his breath rushing out almost unexpectedly. “Well, um, Tina, it’s hard to describe. I guess it feels a little like Christmas, or maybe a birthday. It’s great. Better than great.”
“So, Mr. Mercer, when you almost threw the interception, what was going through your mind?”
He blinked twice, knowing that there was no way he could tell her the truth. The taunts had hurt. Yes, he was gay, but his liking guys had nothing to do with being on the field. Sure, he’d played ball with some cute guys who turned him on, and there were some downright hot guys he’d seen in the locker room, but he kept the two things separated, except for Channing. That was the only real mix-up, and he’d suffered regret after regret for that mistake.
Tina lifted her brows and her eyes grew wide. He probably looked stupid standing there without answering so he smiled and nodded slowly.
“Tina, a lot goes through your mind when you’re on the field. Pinpointing one little thought in a game is hard. Playing for the Chargers is a dream come true. I want to thank the coaches, the general manager, the owners of the team for believing in me, and my mom and dad for giving me the strength to play at this level. Just being able to be here is enough. Thank you Tina, have a great evening.”
Seth stepped over to the next reporter, chatting with him before the cameras started to roll. It was basically the same thing, and in minutes he was done. He showered quickly, dressing in the suit he’d worn to the stadium. Exhaustion held him, leaving him wondering if he would even be able to stay awake long enough to eat. On his way home he half wished he’d taken a cab, maybe next time. When he pulled into his spot in the parking garage, he wasn’t sure if he could walk. Another resident saw him as he crossed over to the elevator and called out their congratulations on his win. He waved, thanking the guy as he stumbled into the elevator. On the ride up, he stayed standing upright because he knew they had cameras and didn’t want a video of him dropping to his knees to surface on the internet. Once he made it into the privacy of his condo, he dropped his bags to the floor in the entryway and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. His first game was over and he’d won. A pulse of satisfaction ripped through him. He’d done it. He wanted to shout and scream, instead he danced a little jig, then began undressing.
Seth stripped off his tie first, then his shirt. He pushed his pants low and kicked off his shoes, tossing his socks across the room. He stared around his apartment, taking in the black furniture that he’d bought, the sleek kitchen, and the small pieces of art he’d purchased the day after he’d moved in. He’d really done it. He was an NFL quarterback. This wasn’t some fantasy or make believe world. This was his reality.
Seth started jumping up and down, his dick bobbing as he skipped, hopped, and bounced through his place. Excitement sizzled through him and for a second he wished he had someone to fuck because he was getting hard. Once he was near the couch, he reached down, cupping his balls as he laughed and cheered, waving his other arm around, his hand fisted. He’d won his first professional game in the regular season. Excited didn’t even come close to how he felt. He wanted to do a cartwheel, but he wasn’t sure he had the room. Instead, he lounged on the sofa and stroked his cock, closing his eyes, reliving the experience. He’d done it. He’d won.
Thoughts of Channing invaded his mind and he pushed them away, but he didn’t have a guy to conjure up as he masturbated. He needed someone else as a sexual partner just so he didn’t think of Channing as he jerked off, and he damn sure wasn’t going to think of any of the guys he played ball with.
Seth grabbed some tissues from the box beside the couch just before he came. After he finished, he relaxed, staring at his empty room. Some masochistic part of him half wished Channing would call. Not that he wanted to go back with the guy, but dammit, he wished he had someone to hold right now.
During the rest of the day he ignored the news stations, talk radio, everything extolling his virtues. He spent Monday relaxing, doing some light stretching, and catching up with the coaches and other players. People he’d played with in high school and college sent him congratulations via email or text. He chatted with his mom and dad, blushing when his parents congratulated him.
The one bother of the day was Channing had remained silent. They were over, but for some sick reason he wanted a text or a call congratulating him on his win. It was a big thing winning his first NFL game. When Tuesday rolled around and Channing hadn’t even sent an email, Seth decided to head to a bar, a gay bar, just to try things out. He was positive nothing would happen, but he needed something other than the Ghosts of Channing to fuel his fantasies.
Chapter Seven
Colby’s day had been tough. Work was getting difficult with the impending move, and to add to his misery, Neil was still sending him emails at least once a week. Since breaking up, he hadn’t dated or slept with anyone else. Maybe it was time to get back out there, but he hadn’t wanted to get into anything in Atlanta and he wasn’t really prepared to go fucking around after work in San Diego. However, with the added stress of the move, and the lonely feelings swimming around his head, he wanted someone to touch, maybe kiss, and if he could hold them tight, that would be even better.
He’d finished his meetings early enough that he had time to grab some food and then what? Maybe he’d go find a movie, but he didn’t want to sit for that long, he wanted more than getting off alone in his hotel room, but picking up someone for one night would be weird since he hadn’t done it in years. One thing he was certain of was that he didn’t want to pick up a trick, he wanted someone who was maybe in the same boat, another lonely guy who wanted to mess around. Maybe he was being impossible, but he didn’t want to deal with emotions, or needy guys, but he also didn’t want to pay.
On his way to grab something to eat, Colby saw what had to be a gay bar. The idea played at the back of his mind all through his
meal. If he stopped at the bar, that wouldn’t mean he had to do anything. He could leave if it seemed weird or if the crowd wasn’t his style. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose except for a few dollars on cover and beer.
On the way back to the hotel, he passed the bar and saw a few cars in the lot. The urge to stop was there, but he shrugged off the desire and rolled on by, deciding that going back to the hotel would be the wise thing. He wasn’t ready to go pick up a stranger in a bar, not yet. For some reason, he wanted a wingman, or just a friend, someone to help him navigate the flirting and playing, and maybe keep him from doing something stupid since it had been a while.
Colby drove into the hotel parking lot and cut the engine. He sat in the car, staring out the front windshield before pulling out his phone to check his email. He was stalling. The thought of the club, the hot guys—hell, actually any guy would do, and that’s why he didn’t go to the club. He was afraid that he would make a bad decision.
He scanned his emails, groaning when he saw one pop up from work. Then Neil’s name came up on the screen. He had another email from his ex, another load of crap probably. He opened the email, reading the first line and realized it was the same shit as always. Neil wanted Colby back, would change, wasn’t seeing Deshaun any longer, would be faithful. But the promises left Colby feeling empty and no matter how comfortable he felt with Neil, he couldn’t do that to himself knowing that Neil would most likely cheat again.
Colby stared out the front windshield and slowly shook his head. Neil was impossible and so was his situation. He couldn’t live this way. Not even trying to be with someone else would leave him open to Neil’s begging. He was strong, but not that strong, and he really wanted sex. He wanted to touch, to feel, to have another body slamming into his as he cried out when he came. The shared intimacy, even if only imagined, was something he craved. Maybe he was weak and it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Sure he could use his hand, but he wanted more, and no matter how many faults Neil had, the man was a sure thing. All he had to do was fly home, call Neil, and he’d be covered in sweat, balls deep, head thrown back while having an orgasm as he pressed his chest against another hot body. And though he knew it would be a lie, he could at least pretend Neil cared.
His heart ached and he squeezed his head, massaging his temples before dropping his hands to his lap. No question about it, he and Neil would get very busy and have loads of fun. But could he subject himself to that again? Neil had told him lie after lie, promising him that he was the only one. He had no illusions that any guy he picked up and fucked at the club would be a one-time thing, but at least he knew going into the club whatever guy he hooked up with tonight wouldn’t give a shit about him in the morning. There would be no reason for him to lie, no overriding desire to keep secrets. Chances were, anyone he picked up at the club was already cheating on his wife, or significant other, but that didn’t matter because he would never see the dude again. God, he was a twisted fuck. Maybe it would be best to go back to Neil. In his own way, Neil cared, but that really wasn’t enough for Colby, not anymore.
He looked at the email from Neil again and started the engine on his rental. Colby swung by a store on the way over to the club and picked up a box of condoms. He slipped two into his pocket before stepping out of the car. Maybe two was presumptuous, but he really wanted to fuck or be fucked.
There wasn’t a cover for the bar since it was a week night. The place wasn’t hopping and he didn’t see anyone he was interested in. After grabbing a bottle of beer, he sat at a high top table in the corner and out of the way. Watching the guys strut around was entertaining, but none of them made him want to get up off the stool and say hello. He ordered another beer and decided that he could take a cab home if he drank too much, though that was highly unlikely.
He sipped his beer slowly as he observed guys hooking up and heading to the bathroom. A part of him wished he could get up from the stool and just grab anyone. God, he wanted to have sex, but something was holding him back. He needed the contact with another, so what if this wasn’t his usual thing, he wanted a hot body. It was dark in the place and no one could really see that much so his dark skin color wouldn’t be a problem. Also, most guys in California, even the cute blonde surfers, were close to his skin color. Out here he’d look like just another tanned beach bum only without the blond hair. This wasn’t Georgia where race played into everything, this was California where no one would care that his mom wasn’t white.
Colby was about ready to find anyone willing to get busy when the door opened and a tall guy wearing a ball cap with the bill pulled low entered the place. A pulse of desire ripped through Colby and he shivered before settling in his seat. The guy’s arms were built, his chest broad. He was sex walking and everyone in the bar noticed but pretended not to look. This man would be enough for him to get off his chair, but did he have the balls to do it?
Chapter Eight
Seth knew it was a mistake coming here, but he wanted to feel. He missed being with Channing. No, that was a lie, what he missed was holding another man. He saw plenty of naked men in the locker room, hell, he saw way too much of a few guys he never wanted to see at all, but watching porn and the casual glance in the locker room was no longer enough. He needed a real man with a pulse, warmth, and maybe even a cute smile, but God, at this point he’d take almost anything.
He felt their stares, saw their glances as he walked in, but he didn’t think anyone recognized him. The cab he’d taken from home had dropped him a few blocks away at a restaurant and he’d walked over. If his car had been parked out front, someone might recognize it, or maybe a photo would be taken, some dude doing a selfie or something like that, then his license plate would be splashed across the internet and people would wonder what he was doing at a gay bar. That was the last thing he needed.
Maybe coming here was crazy. If someone found out, he’d make up a lie. He was here for a friend’s party, or maybe he was supporting a friend.
His heart pounded as he ordered his beer but he played it cool. After taking a swig, he found a table in the back where the lighting was low. He was halfway done with his beer, knowing he was going to strike out, when a cute young man in a button down shirt with the top button popped open stepped up to his table, two beers in his hands.
“You look like you want to be alone, and if you don’t want me here, I’m fine with that, but if you’re open for it, how about another beer?”
The man’s gaze met his and he felt the corners of his mouth tugging up. Seth liked this guy, but he didn’t need a boyfriend, just someone to fuck. Boyfriends brought complications he couldn’t deal with.
“So tell me, what do you expect for this beer?” Seth asked.
“Nothing, really, it’s not—I’m bad at this, I just wanted…” the guy trailed off and glanced away. With the shitty lighting Seth couldn’t tell if the man’s cheeks were turning pink or not, but he did look a little embarrassed.
“Do you watch football?” Seth asked.
The guy shook his head and frowned. “No, I’m just not into sports. It’s not that I can’t stand them, but God, they’re boring to watch. Is that going to be a problem?”
“Not at all,” Seth said. He pushed the stool next to his out and nodded. “Take a seat. My name is Seth.”
“I’m Colby.”
Colby sat on the stool, taking a drink of his beer before he met Seth’s gaze. This time Seth saw the subtle blush under dark skin.
“Tell me, Colby, why did you come here?” Seth watched as Colby swallowed and then bit his lower lip. It was sexy as hell, and he wanted those lips on him immediately. Before Colby could speak, Seth grabbed his chin and leaned in, pressing his mouth over Colby’s, brushing gently over the soft, pillowy pout.
Though the bar was loud, the music drowning out most of the sounds, he could hear, or maybe just feel, Colby moan. The vibration shot straight to Seth’s cock and he stood, grabbing Colby’s hand. Maybe fucking in the bathroom was wrong, but he n
eeded to do something with this guy.
Colby didn’t move, but he did squeeze Seth’s hand. “Not the bathrooms. I have a hotel not too far from here—I mean, that is…” Colby’s gaze met his and heat flooded Seth.
“Yeah, let’s go to your hotel.” Seth’s head was buzzing and his cock throbbing. He fucking wanted this guy so much it hurt. Channing had been his only partner so far, but now he wanted to change that.
Colby stood and Seth moved at the same time, towering over Colby, their bodies close. Colby glanced up, his head tilted at an angle that made Seth pause as he stared down at the beautiful man. This guy was freaking sexy and Seth’s dick was hard and ready. He put his fingers under Colby’s chin and tilted his face up. This was much more intense than he thought it would be when he’d decided to fuck around with some stranger he met at a bar. Colby blinked twice and Seth’s heart squeezed. He lowered, covering Colby’s lips with his. Their bodies brushed against each other and Colby’s arms came around his back.
He felt Colby’s shiver and heard the groan. This was going to be fun, and he was going to enjoy having sex with this guy. He ended the kiss and straightened, loving the near lost look on Colby’s face before he shook his head and drew in a quick breath.
“Let’s head out,” Seth said.
“Sure.” Colby held his hand as he led him out of the bar and to a car parked close to the entrance.
“Were you at that place for long?” Seth laughed.
Colby laughed. “Kind of.”
After The Snap Page 11
