He took a long hot shower before stretching out on his bed, avoiding the wet spot. He closed his eyes as he thought about the game. The defensive line was tough. They weren’t going to give Seth any room for error. Being nervous before a game was normal, but today his nerves seemed more intense.
Someone knocked on his door, most likely Maddox, and told Seth to get up. He stretched again before sitting up. He could do this today. If his head stayed in the game, and he didn’t doubt his abilities, they could win.
The ride to the stadium was quiet. Most of the guys were going through their game day rituals, thinking about what they were going to do, running plays in their minds. This was business, and no matter how much football looked like fun, it was tough work. There were a few guys on the team who were goofballs. With only one thousand sixty-nine men in the NFL, the ones who weren’t serious wouldn’t last more than a year, maybe two, but they weren’t in for the long haul. If he could keep from getting injured, and work hard, he could be on a team for years.
When he went out for warmup, the stadium was near empty. Then a few people started flowing in. Twenty-five minutes before the game was set to start, the Chargers ended their practice and moved back into the locker room. Seth did his pregame ritual. It wasn’t much, but it helped him center his thoughts. Before they lined up to run out into the stadium he talked to Maddox and then Will. He was ready for this game.
All of the excitement, the yells, the cheers, even the boos didn’t really faze him. He was pumped up, but he only let his enthusiasm grow to a certain level before it became detrimental.
They lost the coin toss so their defense went out first. One minute, then another rolled off the official time clock. The Chargers’ defense was playing well, but Miami was keeping pace and moving forward one play at a time. Then Miami was close to the end zone and their quarterback threw the ball, the pass connected. Miami was up and he was playing at a deficit.
All through the first half, no matter how well he played, Miami stayed one step in front of him. He was frustrated and about to lose his cool when the team made its way into the locker room for halftime. A few of the guys did lose their cool and he could tell that it was about to go bad. He sat on a bench and put his head in his hands. To pull this out they had to do more than just stay even with Miami, they had to get ahead. All he needed was a good break that would allow him to score when Miami didn’t. He couldn’t fault the defense or place the blame on anyone else. He’d messed up too.
Seth drew in a slow breath and let it go. Colby popped to the front of his mind and he was going to push the thought away but he realized he was calmer. He drew in another deep breath and focused on how Colby felt in his arms. The raggedness melted away. He wasn’t sure if they would win or lose this game, but he was centered now.
Play started and though he had possession of the ball, he couldn’t get anywhere. His team was falling apart and even Wayne seemed out of it. Then Miami had the ball and they scored quickly. Seth knew he needed to turn this around. He kept his cool and was lucky enough to return the score. Then the Chargers went for the extra point and got it. Miami fumbled on the next play and Davey, one of the safetys, grabbed the ball and made a dash. Now, the Chargers were ahead. The defense stayed out and were fired up. They intercepted the ball again but didn’t score. Seth was laughing as he ran back out onto the field. Now they had a shot at winning and he was enjoying the game. He caught Will’s eye and smiled. The rest of the guys on the team seemed to notice and their moods changed.
Seth let out a wild whoop of excitement. If Colby were watching, he would want to impress him. He let his mind mull over Colby for the few seconds it took for the referee to get Will the ball.
He called a play and Will snapped the ball to him. Three steps back and he paused, looking for a place to throw. The offensive line let one of the defense players through and Seth had to make a quick decision. He took off, running through an opening, jumping over one of the linemen. Dashing around another man, Seth headed up the middle. This was how quarterbacks ended their careers. He couldn’t afford to have one of the big guys hit him hard so he ran for the edge of the field as he made his way closer to the end zone. He crossed the fifty-yard line and raced another fifteen yards before one of the defensive safetys got close enough to worry him.
The side of the field was full of Miami Dolphin players. They grumbled and one guy shoved him when he bumped into them, but Seth ignored their shouts as he made his way back onto the field.
Will patted him on the back and Wayne narrowed his eyes and nodded. He needed to throw the ball this time. The defense would be tight, not wanting him to break through again. They’d be looking to punish him because he’d embarrassed them. He’d gained well over thirty yards from where Will had snapped the ball. The Chargers were in a good position, and if he could get the ball to Wayne, they would score.
Seth lined up behind Will and looked to the right, then to the left. Instead of calling a prescribed play, he yelled, “Let’s kick some ass. Fifty-nine bolt.”
Will snapped the ball to him and he ran back six paces, giving himself enough room to watch for Wayne. He saw him, running fast toward the end zone. Seth cocked his arm and let the ball fly, sending it soaring about ten feet in front of where Wayne was and six feet closer to the center of the field.
Wayne looked back, adjusted his gait and then jumped, catching the ball, cradling it to his chest. Seth watched as Wayne landed and then stumbled a bit. He gasped, worrying that Wayne would drop the ball, but the man was good and caught himself, taking two halting steps before running across the line, scoring a touchdown.
Seth yelled. Will yelled. The crowd yelled.
They were ahead with a solid lead now, and Miami was chasing their score. When he made it over to the sidelines, Maddox was there to congratulate him. A few in the crowd were cheering and he wasn’t too surprised. He was in Florida, but this was south Florida and his alma mater was in the northern part of the state.
As luck would have it, his old team had an out of state game in North Carolina and he wasn’t worried about Channing heading down to see him play. If they had played in Jacksonville, that would be another matter. Thinking about Channing made him depressed and that made his thoughts fracture. He needed to focus on this game. They may be ahead, but he couldn’t afford to lose his control. His thoughts turned to Colby and their time together. Maybe it was weird that he was thinking so much about Colby.
Whatever he had with the man, it was good. He liked the way they meshed. When Colby came out to California, if they were still together, then he would sit him down and explain everything to him.
The rest of the game was uneventful. He scored again, and they were ahead by twenty-two. The seconds ticked down and the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game. He’d not lost one game since taking over as starting quarterback. Maybe his luck would run out, but right now, he was having a good run at it.
“Mercer, I’m liking the way you’re playing,” Maddox said as they entered the locker room.
“Thank you, sir.”
“We have a Monday night game next, are you ready for that?”
“Yes, sir. I can’t wait.”
“Good. I’m happy with what you’ve done. Honestly, I had to fight to get you on the team. I’m glad I insisted we get a quarterback this year instead of waiting until next year. Your play makes me feel like I made a good decision. Thank you, son.”
Seth smiled and nodded. He shook Maddox’s hand and turned to find Wayne racing towards him.
“You fucking killed it. Yeah, man, killed it,” Wayne yelled as he jumped into Seth’s arms.
“So did you.”
“Dynamic duo, that’s who we are.” Wayne hooted and crowed, yelling and laughing as he danced around.
Seth laughed as he stripped off his uniform and pads. He had to get everything packed up and ready to go because they were rolling out in one hour. After taking a quick shower and pulling on his clothes, he moved to the i
nterview area and did a soundbite for a few reporters.
At the end of the line he moved to the other side of the locker room where he was alone. He turned and found that he wasn’t that alone. One of the reporters, Scott someone, had followed him.
“Hey, I don’t have anything more to say.”
“I’m not mic’ed.” Scott lifted his jacket and showed that he had no wires on him, no blinking boxes.
“Did you need something?” Seth asked.
“I played at Florida, too. Funny thing, the coach kept dogging me. Actually we’ve hooked up a few times since. After Christmas last year.”
Seth stopped breathing, heat rushing to his face and down his body. “I don’t know anything about that.”
“It was actually right after New Year’s day. We’d spent the weekend together. We were finishing our beers and a movie when someone came to his door. I was about to head home anyway since I had to work the next morning. The knock just hastened it. I was in the kitchen when Channing opened the door. You can see the front door from the kitchen, but it was dark in there and I was quiet.”
Seth swallowed, fear pinging through him. Scott leaned in close, his dark eyes never breaking their hard stare.
“Seriously, run from him. You’re a nice kid with a good career. I work for a news station. They don’t give a shit that I’m gay. Just keep away from Channing.”
Scott turned and walked off, stopping to talk to a few of the athletes and cracking jokes. He didn’t turn to look at Seth again.
His world had just collapsed around him, and he had no idea what to do, but revealing anything to anyone would be a mistake. Scott knew he’d been at Channing’s house. He’d been seen. Fuck, he’d been seen dropping his pants for Channing. His head swam and he wasn’t sure his heart wouldn’t burst from pounding so hard.
Somehow he found himself on the bus and all he could think of doing was calling Colby. The man was a rock, his future. Someone like Channing should never have been a part of his life. Once they were in the airport lounge, he stepped away from the group and dialed Colby.
“Hey, I’m leaving for the airport,” Colby said.
“When I hear your voice it makes everything better,” Seth said.
“Bad day at work?”
“No, it was just long. When does your flight take off?”
“Eight this evening.”
“You know it’s going to be hard not talking to you. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I feel like you’re already a part of my life.”
Colby was silent for a long moment and Seth wondered if the line had been disconnected. He pulled the phone away from his head before listening again to see if Colby was going to speak.
“My ex cheated on me. It wasn’t once, or twice, but habitual. I came home from a business trip early and figured it out when I found some other guy’s underwear in our bedroom. I waited, hiding in the second bedroom. Sure enough, they got busy and I walked in, seeing them together. I don’t ever want to do that again.”
Seth’s heart was pounding. If he told Colby about Channing and what he’d done, he would have to explain everything. He didn’t want to do that over the phone. It wasn’t just that his ex was a rat bastard, Seth didn’t have anyone he could tell. Once people figured out he was gay, they might decide to be mean. That anger could be directed at Colby if they figured out they were dating. He shivered, knowing that now wasn’t the time to tell Colby and risk having the story get out.
“I don’t know what to say. I would be devastated. I know you don’t really know me yet, but I would never cheat on you. I would come to you first, never behind your back. Same for you, if you’re dissatisfied, please tell me. If that’s because you’ve found someone else, just tell me because that’s what I’ll promise to do for you. No cheating, ever.” Seth glanced over his shoulder, glad that none of the guys had come close and heard what he’d just said. He wasn’t ready to tell them he was in a relationship of any sort.
“When I move out there, maybe it’s time for us to really sit down and talk,” Colby said.
“Yeah, I think that would be good. I know you need to go, but I wanted you to know that I do care about you. I’ve sent you my email address and I’ll set up a Skype account. Send me an email once you land.”
“Thanks, Seth. The time is way off, but maybe I could Skype at night and your morning, or vice versa?”
“I’d like that.”
“Goodbye, Seth.”
“Goodbye.”
Seth hung up and for a minute he just stared out the airport window. He had fallen for Colby. No, it wasn’t love, yet, but he was so close to loving the man it hurt. Colby was his future and he couldn’t afford to look back, even if it was to seek revenge.
Chapter Eighteen
When Colby reached his hotel in London, he tried to work out the time difference but had to log onto the internet and look at a website. It was the middle of the night for Seth and he couldn’t call him, not and reach a pleasant man. Instead, he wrote out a quick email and sent it before heading out to eat.
The issues the client was having was much more difficult than he’d anticipated and he ended up working until almost midnight London time. He fell into bed and was up at six the next morning to head in to the office. Later that evening he sent an email to Seth, telling him that he would be free on Wednesday to Skype in the evening if Seth was available in the middle of the day, otherwise, he would try to get up early enough in the morning on Thursday.
He missed Seth quite a bit more than he’d thought he would. He was probably being way too sentimental, but he really liked Seth. He wondered how they would work once they lived in the same city.
The next morning, he found an email from Seth. They would connect early on Thursday. Work kept him busy and he didn’t have too much time to think about Seth. Thursday, when his alarm went off at four, he groaned and turned it off, cursing himself for setting it so early, then he remembered that he was going to talk to Seth and he hopped up, stumbling his way to the bathroom. He showered quickly and sent an email to Seth, telling him that he would log on in five minutes.
When he sat down at his computer he noticed that his hands were shaking. Seth really did affect him that much. He opened the Skype application and entered the contact information for Seth. Seth didn’t answer immediately and he worried that maybe Seth had forgotten. Colby checked his email and saw a reply.
Colby opened the note and sighed. Seth would be five minutes late but was looking forward to talking to him. Then his computer made a noise and excitement zinged through him. He answered the call, waiting to see Seth on his screen. When everything started working correctly, he just smiled at the screen, too overcome to even talk.
“Hey,” Seth said.
The voice wasn’t in sync with the video but he was fine with that. His heart expanded and he touched the screen, realizing that his eyes were stinging.
“I miss you. I know it’s early there, and I really appreciate you waking up just to talk to me.”
“God, Seth,” he choked out. Colby hated that he was falling apart.
Seth gave him a lopsided grin and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, getting closer to the camera.
“Have you had a good week?”
Colby shook his head. “No, it’s been awful. I’ve been working late, up early, it’s been a nightmare. I miss talking to you. I want to see you. I think I’m going crazy because I’m not supposed to like you this much. We barely know each other.”
“I know. When you move out here it will be better.”
“What did you do today?” Colby asked.
“I worked and then had a meeting. That’s why I was late.”
“I fly home tomorrow. I’ll be packing up the rest of my stuff this weekend while I catch up on sleep.”
“I want to know when you arrive.”
“Trust me, I’ll let you know.”
Seth turned his head and rolled his eyes, then Colby heard what had
to be a knock at Seth’s door.
“Just a second, I need to see who this is.”
“Okay.” Colby pulled up his email and checked for anything work related. He had just clicked back over to Skype when he saw movement. Seth and some guy were standing on the far side of the room hugging. His heart stalled and he felt sick. Was Seth cheating on him? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but what he saw looked suspicious.
Seth was back, a wide smile on his lips. “Sorry about that. The person I had the meeting with forgot something.”
“Oh.”
“I’m going to be busy on the Sunday when you arrive, but I was hoping you could come over on Monday. We can do dinner.”
Colby nodded, still in a funk about what he’d seen. “Sure.”
“Good. I know you’re tired, so I’ll let you get some more sleep.”
“Yeah, I think I need more.”
“Hey, Colby, I really do miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
The connection ended and he sat back, staring at his computer. His stomach twisted like it had after he’d found out about Neil and Deshaun. But this wasn’t like Neil and Deshaun. Seth hadn’t tried to hide anything. Maybe he was just more friendly with the guys he worked with.
Colby couldn’t find sleep again, instead he focused on work. It was a long day and he wished more than once he could call Seth and ask him about the hug he’d seen. On Friday morning he headed to the airport and caught his flight, knowing that as soon as he landed in Atlanta he was going to call.
During the flight he only slept for about an hour. He did watch both movies and read a little on a book. It was boring and almost enough for him to never want to fly to London again. Since his company didn’t see getting him home as important as getting him out there, he had a layover. It was almost fifteen hours after takeoff before he landed in Atlanta. Exhausted, he stumbled to his car before he remembered that he wanted to speak to Seth.
After The Snap Page 22
