by Adam Zorzi
***
“How does it feel to see your name on the cover of a CD?” LouLou asked Gregg while they were alone in the theatre.
“Awesome.”
“I'm glad you let me work something out with my new attorney that allowed me to legally own the copyright. There won't be any problem if your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews or other relatives are alive and claim ownership. You wanted to avoid causing any fissures in what's left of your family, and you have.”
“It's best for you too, isn't it?” Gregg looked at her with those entreating brown eyes. She loved that his feelings showed through his eyes, but she sometimes felt he depended on her answers too easily.
As the screen curtain parted, she realized what she saw was trust. Complete faith and trust is what he had in her. She'd never felt that, and the feeling gave her goosebumps.
“A little bit. Any problems would be handled by lawyers. You gifting the compositions to me just makes me feel closer to you. We're a team.”
CHAPTER
SIXTY-ONE
“What happened to your mom?” Gregg asked when he arrived at LouLou's hotel suite late Friday morning. He kissed her neck, and she leaned into him.
“She didn't feel up to coming. She'll definitely be at the recital, but she has a serious aversion to DC now. She's pained by it. Everything and everyone she sees is a reminder of her loss. She says it feels like a nightmare and she can't wake up.”
Gregg took her hands. “I can't imagine.” He didn't stay solemn long. “How are you? Nervous?”
“Never. I'm never nervous. I know the music, I love to perform, and I want the world to hear your work. I can't wait to get there and play.”
He pulled her to him and held her close. “LouLou, even if they hate the music, I thank you for everything you've done to make it known. You're a great pianist. My stuff is in the best of hands.”
He leaned in to kiss her. She responded easily. Their kiss was long and delicious and a preliminary for more expression.
“I'm going to be late if we don't stop.”
Still holding her long, delicate hands, he turned to go. “I'm meeting Skylar downstairs. Break a leg. People say that still, right?”
“Yes,” she smiled, “they do. Thank you.” She reluctantly let their fingertips release.
***
Polite applause greeted LouLou when she walked onstage in her backless orange mini dress. Her phoenix tattoo was on full display. She bowed deeply and sat at the keyboard. She launched herself into Gregg's piano suite and directly into the sonata. Although she had intended to have an intermission, she kept playing—the dances and the rhapsodic, fingers flying ballades.
The audience was on its feet after the first piece. Many remained standing throughout. Some moved to the left side of the auditorium to watch her hands better. Some moved to the back in order to get the full effect of the air and gusts and whirlwinds of sound coming from the stage.
LouLou flung her head back and smiled, thoroughly exhilarated after playing seventy-five minutes of solo piano. She stood, bowed, and left the stage. She walked quickly to the green room and locked the door. Gregg was waiting. He was sobbing as he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly.
“LouLou, you're fantastic. The crowd got it. They got my music. This is the second best day of my life.”
LouLou pulled back from him but stayed in his arms. “What's the first? Nothing could be better than this. Don't you feel like you're on the best high of your life?”
“Nothing compares to the day I met you, LouLou.”
“You're too perfect, Gregg.” She kissed him with a promise of more. Then she shooed him out of the room, unlocked the door, and received visitors. “Never heard anything like it.” “A phenom.” “Where are the CDs?” “Where can I get the scores?” “Who did you study with?” “Where is the composer?” “People were recording with their phones.”
“I hope they did record the music,” LouLou said in response to the last question from a visitor. “It needs to be out there. Normally, I don't condone piracy, but for this I give permission to record everything.”
LouLou deflected all questions about herself. She reminded everyone that information about accessing the written scores and CDs was on the paper recital program. She also told the story she and Gregg had agreed upon about his history. He was a bass player on his way to Juilliard who switched to composition. Tragically, he drowned at a young age. He willed all his compositions to LouLou. She crossed her fingers behind her back. The dates were close, but she'd been born before he died.
Gregg had made a holographic will on a yellow legal pad sheet to back up the story. Virginia accepted such hand-written documents as legal wills. It was in her safe deposit box along with the original scores.
Skylar, Robert, and Gregg were her last visitors. Skylar bounced into the room full of gossip and anecdotes and accolades. “LouLou, I've never heard you play live. You've got the goods. You could be a concert pianist.”
She kissed him on the check. “Yes, I could, but I don't want to be. Thank you for the compliment.”
“What's the plan?” Skylar asked. He held Robert, who wore his Emotional Support Animal vest.
“Gregg, it might be best if Skylar dropped you off at my hotel. The university provided a car service for me. I don't want to be rude and not use it. Skylar, you're welcome to celebrate with us.”
Skylar snorted. “I highly doubt that. Besides, Robert and I have friends to visit. I'll see you Sunday.”
CHAPTER
SIXTY-TWO
Night came while LouLou napped.
“Ah, you're up.” Gregg walked over to LouLou's side of the bed and kissed her.
She pulled him to her for a long, delicious kiss. “What time is it?”
“About eight.”
“I'll call room service for dinner.” She got out of bed, put on one of the giant navy fluffy robes provided by the hotel, and placed her dinner order. She stretched and wound herself around Gregg on the sofa. “Wasn't it fantastic? Can you imagine what Sunday will be like?”
“The whole thing was surreal, but the response to my music made me feel like my life has been worth something.”
“Of course it has. There's more brewing. I can tell.” She pointed to the music composition book on the table. Gregg had been writing while she slept.
“There is. Plenty. I've got five pieces written and two that need to go through my head, down my arm, and onto paper.” He shifted so he could look directly at LouLou. “I was awed by the whole thing. The last time I went to a recital, it was at night, men wore dark suits, and women wore fancy dresses. The performers wore tuxes and the women soloists wore floor length gowns that covered their arms and bust.”
LouLou smiled. She liked that Gregg used quaint words like bust.
LouLou got up and grabbed a club soda from the mini-fridge. “My dress must've been a shock. The change occurred as part of the movement to get younger people into orchestral audiences. The first time I heard the New York Philharmonic at an afternoon concert, I thought they all looked like accountants—navy blue suits for men and women—but the trend took off.
“Soloists, particularly women violinists, started wearing strapless and then short dresses that called attention to themselves. I can't imagine playing in a long dress. It would interfere with pedaling.” She resumed her position on the sofa.
“And people milled around during the concert. What was that?”
“That was academicians showing off. On a university campus, there are no rules. I think it's a good thing that the audience wanted to see, hear, and feel the music and didn't stay in their seats to do so.”
“I was surprised.”
“Well,” LouLou patted his cheek, “that's the Virginian gentleman in you. Did Robert enjoy it?”
“Hate to say this, but he slept through the recital.”
LouLou laughed. “He hears music all the time. Maybe he'll be alert Sunday.”
Gregg took
LouLou's hands in his. “Do you feel okay? Tired? Off schedule?”
“I'm taking care of myself. I was exhausted after the recital, but as you know, I slept after our tryst. I'm on schedule with my meds. I'll give myself an injection after dinner.” There was a knock at the door, and the room service cart was rolled in. “And now I'll eat.”
She arranged her plates and glasses on a small table next to a comfortable chair and ate dinner. “Sorry for eating while talking. I carefully planned this event. I wanted an afternoon recital today with an evening, all day tomorrow, and Sunday morning off so I'll be rested. I'm spending Sunday night and possibly a few more nights here before going home. I'm being extra careful.”
“You're brave and awesome to live according to the clock.”
“I've no choice. The first time I had a psychotic episode, I knew I wouldn't survive another. My brain was still developing at sixteen, so meds that worked for three months had to be refined for the next two months, three months, six months. That was hard. I had two serious episodes, but my parents were right there getting me treatment ASAP.
“What about you, Gregg? You look wistful.”
“I sound ungrateful for everything you've done, but I wish I could've been alive to hear my works. I felt like there was a glass wall between me and the stage. I was outside looking in. I wanted to applaud, to cheer, and to feel the audience's response. I feel selfish.”
“Hold that thought.” LouLou excused herself, got her rig, and went in the bathroom to inject herself. When she returned, she drank a full glass of water before sitting next to Gregg and leaning into him.
“That's not greedy. That's human. I don't care if you're a ghost. You have a human heart. It must be unbearable and exhilarating. I'm sorry.”
She looked at him.
“Gregg, you look tired. Is that possible?”
“I don't know. I haven't felt one hundred percent for the last two weeks. I think it's the excitement of the recording, recitals, and all the things I never experienced as a musician.”
“You don't have to stay with me if you need to go to your Ghost Place and rest.”
“You know I don't have a Ghost Place or at least haven't found it yet. I only control visibility slightly more than I used to. I'll try to calm down. I'm glad there's a day in-between performances. I didn't think I, as a ghost, would need it. Seems like I do.”
“As long as you come back.”
“For as long as I can.”
CHAPTER
SIXTY-THREE
Sunday's audience was even more enthusiastic. They insisted on an encore, and LouLou played Gregg's longing, yearning, sensuous “Elegy.” Silence filled the room until the vibration of the last note dissolved into air particles.
When LouLou rose to take her bow, the crowd erupted into wild applause and shouts of Brava. Collin walked on stage and presented her with two dozen red roses. “Not nearly enough,” he said and kissed her cheek.
In the green room afterwards, LouLou closed and locked the door, leaned against it, and exhaled. She needed to compose herself before seeing anyone. She drank a full glass of water over ice in a crystal glass.
“May the composer steal you for a minute?”
LouLou turned to see Gregg looking very handsome in a dark suit, white shirt, and grey tie. He was holding a small white box. He offered it to her. “What's this?” she asked.
LouLou opened the box. Inside was a single maroon orchid with errant strands of greenery made into a wrist corsage. “It's beautiful. So delicate.”
“And rare, according to the florist,” Gregg said. She held out her left hand for him to tie it on her wrist. She felt chills run up her arm. The effect with her red silk dress was stunning. She wasn't going to cry.
“I love it. Thank you. I feel cherished. I don't have to be envious of Mary Lynn Bailey anymore.”
“I wanted you to have a corsage. You said you'd never had one.” He kissed her softly. “I love you,” he said before disappearing. “Your public awaits.”
LouLou opened the door, and soon she was surrounded by family. LouLou first went to her mother, who was sobbing. “Darling, that was exquisite. The compositions and the performer were exceptional. Thank you for opening with the Bach and dedicating the recital to your father.”
LouLou held her mother. For the first time, LouLou felt like the nurturer. Her mother had lost weight and had a sadness that was palpable. “None of this would have happened if you and dad hadn't surrounded me with music and given me piano lessons. It's my life. I'm forever grateful. Mom, I love you.”
Her mother dabbed at her tears and spoiled makeup. “I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier and stay with you at the hotel. I just couldn't force myself to come to Washington. I couldn't have done it alone today. Thankfully, Collin and Liz were supportive, got me here, and protected me from well-meaning friends.”
She hugged LouLou again. “Please forgive me, but I have to leave. I can't see people. So many of them knew your father. I just can't see them.”
“Do what you need.”
She caught Collin's eye. He gave her one of his bear hugs. “Exceptional. You know how to pick music and put on a show. Damn, you're good.”
Liz joined him. “Wonderful. It was our pleasure to be here.”
“Thank you for coming and for taking care of Mom. Do you want me to call security to help her leave quietly? She can leave via the performers' elevator.”
“The elevator's enough. Just point me in the right direction.”
Justice Bergen and her husband were next. She greeted LouLou warmly. “Music is truly a great mystery. What complex thoughts to create such works and an equally astute mind to interpret them. I know you've heard it before, but your dad would have been very proud of you today. Lovely of you to dedicate the performance to him. I miss him. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you and your mother feel.” She took a step back. “Brava, LouLou.”
Her husband kissed LouLou on the cheek. “Bravissima,” he whispered.
When LouLou made her way onto the terrace, she was mobbed. Everyone wanted to congratulate her, pepper her with questions, or get pictures with her. She usually didn’t intermingle with those in the audience, but she wanted to be as gracious and open as possible for Gregg's works. Rumor had it that all five hundred copies of each CD had sold out before intermission. LouLou recognized a lot of friends of her parents, all of whom complimented her performance. Quincy had come down from New York.
“Oh, this is such a surprise.” LouLou hugged her. “Thank you for coming.”
“I don't think I've heard you play since junior year of high school. You've improved. And that dress is pure hotness.” She nodded at the red silk satin backless mini dress LouLou wore. Quincy introduced her husband and said they had to rush to get the Acela back to New York.
After twenty minutes with the audience, LouLou signaled she wanted her car and driver. She could have flown on air to the hotel, but thought motor transportation would be more discrete.
Gregg, Skylar, and Robert met her at the curb. The driver held her door open, but she stopped to speak to them before gliding in. Gregg was completely overcome. “LouLou, I just can't speak.”
She took his hand that was hidden from the driver. “They loved you, Gregg. I love you.”
Skylar stepped between them. “I'll see that he gets back safely. He's in quite a state. He said he felt tired so I think it's best to leave now.” LouLou nodded. “Thank you, Skylar, for everything.”
She took Robert out of his arms and hugged him. “Robert, thank you for coming. Please look out for my two men.”
Robert settled himself under her chin and purred.
CHAPTER
SIXTY-FOUR
Knowing she had to keep episodes at bay, LouLou stayed three extra days in Washington to rest. She'd underestimated the toll two recitals, interaction with audiences, and the desire to give Gregg's compositions the best possible launch would take. There was nothing to do other than accept the ex
haustion, stay on her strict routine and medication, and rest before driving back to Richmond.
Skylar had sent an email that they had arrived safely and that Gregg had disappeared for a few days. Skylar was certain he'd be back. LouLou believed him.
LouLou had programmed her phone to allow only the ringtones for her mother, Skylar, and Roy. She didn't need to hear from anyone else. She wore her corsage until she went to bed Sunday night and placed it in a glass of water on the nightstand. Gregg. So thoughtful. To remember she'd never had one. She'd make potpourri with this too, even though it didn't seem to have a scent.
Monday, she called Roy to tell him she was staying a few more days.
“You're a star, LouLou. The Washington Post, The New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal all gave you and the composer excellent reviews. I saved them for you. Are you eating enough?”
“Yes, I'm choking down four-star restaurant food, but honestly, it has nothing on yours.”
“Nice to hear.”
“Talk to me. Tell me about Sara and the kids.”
He did. For about fifteen minutes, LouLou listened to Roy’s narration of normalcy at home. It was comforting. Before hanging up, LouLou assured Roy she was swimming in the hotel's indoor pool and taking her meds.
“Stay as long as you need,” Roy said. “I'll keep holding down the fort.”
She had great friends. Not a lot, but the ones she had were as loving and loyal as she hoped she was to them.
***
Gregg returned to the loft the day after LouLou arrived. He was carrying a contra bass, so Skylar walked behind him and pretended he was carrying the bass so as not to raise suspicion.
