by Vance Huxley
The Orchard Close territory included a small park, too far away for gardening but Liz had gleefully marked the trees down as potential charcoal. As the snow slowly released its grip charcoal moved up the list, along with body clearance. Harold and Casper didn’t so much clear as heap up the driest roof timbers found nearby on any bodies, doused in enough flammables to make a big fire. Unfortunately the bodies or part bodies had to be searched, in self-defence at least when five or six rounds were ignited by one bonfire.
As the latest pyre crackled away, Harold and Casper sat upwind and drank strong coffee to kill the smell in their throats. “I’ve got a problem. I need a girlfriend.”
“Not as badly as I need a boyfriend.” Casper grinned, then looked closer and frowned. “That’s a serious face. Bloody hell, you really are fussy.”
“No idiot. I need a girlfriend that wants a laugh, nothing serious, just to slow up the rest. Holly has started this walk home thing and I’ve stopped thinking pure thoughts. I’m liable to give her the sort of hug she’s a bit young and innocent for, so it has to stop.” Harold scowled. “Bloody Liz is egging her on and well, and the last time was a mistake.”
Casper looked puzzled. “Holly wasn’t upset when she came in.”
Harold smiled because that meant the daft lump really was Mummy Casper at the door. “No, but the result shook her up. I’m worried Liz is pushing Holly too fast because Liz finds all this funny.”
“She wouldn’t hurt Holly, not on purpose. She’ll hurt you if you hurt Holly, that I believe.” Casper sounded serious about that. “I’ll find out.” He grinned. “I might even tell you.”
“You’re twisted.”
“No, fairies are pure and innocent. My mummy and daddy brought me up all proper before they cast me into the cold cruel world.” Casper clapped Harold on the back. “Pick on both Matti and Doll, and tell them it’s a competition. That’s enough fun for a lifetime.”
“Barry would kill me.”
“Matti and Doll combined might? A short life, but oh how much fun you’d have. Now let’s find more carrion.”
* * *
An eternity of carrion clearing later Harold had two rusted handguns, three rusted machetes, six rusted knives and had lost his sense of taste and smell. At least the current pyre marked the last body, except for some smells from under rubble that might be ignored. “Back to training and lumberjacks tomorrow or the next day.”
“Yeah.” Casper grinned. “You’ll find plenty of trainees, but I still haven’t found a lumberjack.”
Guns echoed periodically as the best of those with handguns practiced but currently without Harold. They were allowed a few shots each a day and Harold reloaded the brass each night when he’d done burning bodies. He still worried about how fast all the ammo had been used up during the big attack, and wanted the maximum ready at all times. “That’s not practice.” That was a single very loud shot followed by a short rattle of lighter cracks.
Before they could say any more both Harold’s and Casper’s radios crackled. “Lumberjack trouble. Load for bear.” The voice sounded like Bernie but the radios weren’t that great at over a mile.
Harold and Casper were flagged down short of the tree felling by Bernie. “Someone took a shot at Emmy.”
“Did they hit her?”
“No, but he came close and with damn great bullet.” Bernie looked grim. “The shot came from the Geeks, or from their territory.” Another loud gunshot echoed and several handguns and a two-two replied. “Damn, he’s having another go.”
Billy met them looking angry but determined. “Sorry Harold, I missed him.” He lifted the two-two. “I’m OK close up at something not moving, but not a running man.”
“Did you see who it was?” If Billy recognised Einstein, Harold would to camp someplace near to the Geeks until the nasty sod put his head up in the wrong place. “Was he short and fat?”
“No, he wasn’t tall but definitely not fat. He wasn’t wearing those shop smock things the top Geeks wear.” Billy pointed towards one of the nearby houses. “Emmy is in there with Robert, trying to stop the bleeding.”
“Who got hit?”
“Pippa, Robert’s wife. He got her in the arm and it’s bad, Harold. I’ll go and see if I can hit the bastard this time.” Billy set off running and Harold did the same towards the house indicated.
“Come on my love, hang on. It’s all right, I’m here.” Despite her husband’s words Pippa keened quietly to herself, hunched over as Emmy and Robert. Robert looked round. “It’s her arm, Harold.” Outside there were two pistol shots and the two-two cracked, then silence. No celebration so they still hadn’t hit whoever.
Emmy looked up. “Get him Harold.” Harold nodded, hard-faced because he’d just seen Pippa’s arm. Even with a quick glance he could see her forearm had bent in the middle so the bullet had smashed the bone. Emmy used a machete in a sheath to tighten the bandage above the wound and stop the blood.
“The pickup is back there. Get her home. Bernie, which way?” Bernie pointed.
By the time he reached the group with weapons out Harold was too late. Doll pointed across the road between two houses. The next row stood in Geek territory. “I saw him run out from behind the garden fence.” Doll spat into the grass and waved her handgun. “I tried but missed him. How’s Pippa?”
Harold reckoned the range at seventy or eighty yards, so no wonder Doll missed. “Not good but I reckon she’ll live. They’ve more or less stopped the bleeding.”
“But why would a Geek shoot at Pippa? I thought it was Emmy they had a problem with?” Doll glared towards the Geeks.
“Maybe he saw Pippa and thought it was Emmy?” Bernie grimaced. “Some people don’t see past colour, especially if it was only a glance. To be honest she’s probably lucky to be alive going by what just missed Emmy.”
“Show me. Doll, ask three people to sit in bedroom windows as lookouts and the rest of you start woodcutting again.” His lip lifted in a snarl. “He might come back. If he does, use the radio to tell me. Just say chop chop in case he’s listening.” That had been a nasty shock a few days ago when they’d heard Hot Rods talking to each other. The little radios could be overheard by anyone near enough with similar kit. Harold followed Bernie towards the park.
“Here Harold. That’s a hell of a rifle.” Bernie pointed to the hole in a tree trunk.
Harold looked closer. “I doubt it and that probably explains why he missed at this range. There might be a rifle that size someplace but I’d bet on a shotgun with solid shot.” Probably close to twelve bore Harold thought. “If he comes back, he’s got to get close. I’ll hang about for the next week or so until we get the trees cut.”
He headed back to see if Emmy had managed to get Pippa away, and the other pickup arrived with Holly, Patty and Jon. As he came to the house, Harold stood aside to let Emmy and Robert carry out an interior door with Pippa laid on it. Her coat arm hung out, soaked in blood, but Pippa’s arm lay under the jackets piled over her. “Patricia said keep her warm. We’ll put her on the back seat.”
Within minutes Harold’s pickup headed for Orchard Close with Patty driving, while Robert and Emmy watched over Pippa. Harold went upstairs and nursed the big 303, hoping the man with the shotgun came back.
At dusk he went back in the other pickup, loaded with timber for Liz to make charcoal with. Holly drove, since she’d been having lessons before the crash and wanted to finish learning. That became Harold’s routine for three days, watching all day and then a lift home at night in one of the pickups carrying the day’s timber. Holly practiced reversing which made her a bit late setting off the fourth evening. The minibus and other pickup were out of sight by the time they were heading through the deserted streets, nice and steady since Holly still drove cautiously.
* * *
“About here I think.” Holly pulled over. The evening sun lit her face, but Harold didn’t think the sunset explained how pink she was. “Time for pr
actice, or it will be Valentine’s.”
“In a car, Holly? That’s a bit more than walking you home.” Harold smiled. “I’m supposed to drive and run out of petrol.”
Holly giggled. “Idiot, the whole world has run out of petrol. This is because after the shooting I needed a hug but I waited so I can get a kiss as well. Snogging in the car is also a rite of passage, I’m told. This way I get my comfort hug, we try out a level four again and I also tick off a snog in a car.” Her eyes dropped. “Though not the back seat. I’m not ready for that.”
“Holly?” Her eyes came up, a little apprehensive. “There are no rites of passage. You do what you want in your own time, including goodnight levels two, three, four or five. Liz sometimes forgets the rest of the world hasn’t her sense of humour.”
“Oh no. Liz only, well, I wanted to try this and I trust you Harold.” Holly sighed. “I want to do all the things that have gone away, Harold. Walking home and kissing in the car and holding hands, but that world has gone away.”
“Well I was looking for a girlfriend and that covers those.” Harold swore silently. His big mouth had gone and done it because Holly definitely blushed and her eyes were wide in surprise.
“But the girls said, when you choose, you know. That?” Holly looked definitely apprehensive. “It’ll be knicker inspections?”
“They’ve got dirty minds.” Harold was relieved when Holly giggled. “Never mind, if you don’t fancy the job I reckon Billy or Jon will be front and centre with a bunch of flowers.”
“Not a chance. You really mean it, none of the… You won’t, wouldn’t?” Holly tried hard to come up with something that covered what she expected Harold to want from a girl.
“No advanced techniques? No walking to the door level twenty-two?” Harold smiled happily because Holly would be a perfect girlfriend if all she wanted was a kiss and cuddle now and then. If she didn’t want knicker inspections Holly certainly wouldn’t be expecting rugrats. The more intense in the girl club would calm down since none of them would upset Holly, and Sharyn would behave as well.
“Oh Harold. Yes.” Moments later Harold tried to remember no advanced techniques because Holly connected for her snog in a car. At least this was one of the dry lip ones. Holly snuggled in afterwards, and sighed happily. “That was really nice. Do I get one every time I drive you home?”
“Possibly. I told you, there are no rules except how you feel.” Harold hugged her. “Girlfriend not whatever you thought the girl club had in mind.”
“Oh God no.” Holly sniggered, then stopped. “This wasn’t why we stopped.” Harold heard the mischief and remembered why.
“A fourth time doorstep kiss might be a bit intense in a car.” Harold knew it would be because a three had been fairly potent.
“I’d better find out before Valentines, in case you drive me home.” This time Harold saw Holly carefully lick her lips. She didn’t do it sexily, well she did but not deliberately, but that didn’t detract from the effect when Holly connected.
“Wow.” Harold felt he had to say something and that sort of summed it up.
“Whew, yes. You were right about cars.” Holly cuddled up. “It’s a good job we’re only practicing level four, because five apparently involves coat buttons and that could be a problem in here.”
Harold grinned. “Are you winding me up?”
“A bit but that part is true. Though since you say we make our own rules, we can change them. Am I really a girlfriend now, Harold?” Harold turned his head as Holly raised hers from his shoulder, and looked into a pair of serious grey eyes.
“After a snog like that in a car? Too true.” Harold smiled and kissed her gently. “There, a signing on bonus. Now you’d better get us home before a search party comes to look.”
“Ooh yes.” Holly laughed. “If we ever work up to advanced we’ll have to find a better parking place.” She set off with a big smile on her face, a smile echoed on Harold’s. Though she looked a lot more apprehensive as they reached Orchard Close and Holly manoeuvred carefully around to the side nearest the Army.
“Are you worried, Holly?”
“Just a bit. Did you mean the girlfriend bit, like properly, all open and public?” Holly had her back to him, opening her door, so Harold couldn’t see her face. “It wasn’t just the snogging?”
That came after, Harold thought, but bit that off. “I meant it. I’ve wanted a girlfriend for a while and if you want the job, it’s yours.” It would also be disappointing if Holly changed her mind since he’d been thinking it over on the way back. Well, in between talking about the tree felling and Holly’s pistol practice. The more Harold thought, the better he liked the idea.
“I just wondered.” Holly got out and went up the steps onto the wall and Harold opened his door and went around to join her. Holly waited on top of the wall and both Bernie and Emmy were coming towards them, probably to ask about the delay. Holly turned and her hand caught hold of Harold’s. She licked her lips, carefully making sure she got all of them.
“Holly?” Harold remembered thinking Holly only wanted a kiss and cuddle and would be a safe girlfriend, and could hear the crackle of bridges burning behind him.
“If I’m your girlfriend, then I want it really official. Not sneaking around.”
“I’m all for that, but...” But died because Holly must have thought her lips were wet enough. By the time she pulled her head back anyone watching would have got the message.
A bit of mischief showed in her smile, and more danced in Holly’s eyes. “Is that official enough?”
“Good enough for me.” Harold smiled. “I was thinking of walking up the street holding hands but I’m not complaining.”
“You were going to walk me home and try for the level five doorstep kiss? Was it the unbuttoning thing?” Harold could see the laughter in Holly’s eyes so he joined in.
“That was quick work.” Emmy grinned. “Classic though. Did you run out of petrol?” She looked at Harold.
“Hey, I wasn’t driving. I was enjoying the sunset and pow, I’ve got a girlfriend.”
“Nice moves Holly.” Emmy shook her head. “I’ll hide the booze and sleeping pills before the news spreads to the girl club.” Several others arrived to hear the news, and Harold suffered the gibes and laughter. Then the rest told Holly to leave the timber unloading and parade her capture up and down the road for a while. Which meant that Harold did hold Holly’s hand and walk up the road, and felt about sixteen again.
He felt a lot older when they visited Pippa, because the sheer scale of the damage worried Patricia. Patricia and Gayle had doped Pippa so she wasn’t actually out, but wasn’t in much pain, which left the trainee nurse in a quandary. Patricia was certain that Pippa’s arm ought to come off, given the lack of any real facilities. The trainee nurse could handle broken bones but not smashed and splintered, and Patricia couldn’t even tell how far up towards Pippa’s elbow the fracturing went. Worse, sealing the stump and sewing everything off went well beyond her capabilities. Or not unless she resorted to heat to seal the blood vessels, which Patricia really didn’t want to do. The plus side of a girlfriend turned out to be that Harold needed a hug this time, and there was one on offer.
* * *
“Hi Sharyn.”
“Wipe off your feet, and the smug smile. That poor girl.” Sharyn sighed. “At least she’s got the good sense to make sure you take her home first.” Harold whirled and looked out of the open curtains and yes, he could see the side door of the girl club in plain view. Luckily Holly had decided on a two in daylight, thought Holly still thought level five might be on for Valentine’s.
“Drawing a horse, drawing a horse. A blue horse with a cat. A striped cat.” Daisy pouted. “I’m not allowed to touch Stripes but you can draw her and the kittens.”
“Sorry Sharyn. I’ve got to draw, and then eat, and draw again, and bedtime story. You’ll have to save whatever slander you’ve heard until then.” Harold smiled at Sharyn’s
protruding tongue and relieved Hazel on drawing duties.
“Uncle-Harold, they won’t let me draw at school.” The school had finally started and apparently Daisy didn’t think much to day four.
“But you need to learn lots of things as well as drawing. Is that a cat?”
“No, silly. That’s a dog. I’ll draw you a cat and then it’s your turn.”
* * *
“Uncle-Harold.” A very serious five-year-old face looked up from the pillow. Just before Daisy supposedly went to sleep, so this could be an attempt at an extra story or a serious problem. Daisy occasionally sprung problems on Harold about now. Things like why do cats and dogs fight on TV and does that mean we can’t have both? Or why is Mummy crying? Or why does Hazel have a bra when she’s not grown up? Harold braced himself.
“Yes Daisy.”
“Why do I have to go to school?”
“You have to learn to read and write, and do maths. We have no computers to do everything, so you have to learn from books.” Harold felt quite proud of that for a few seconds.
“I can read now but it’s better if you do. You make funny voices, and the cough when old Dragon has a fall of soot, and the splutter when the little dragon gets the smoke down the wrong pipe.” Daisy giggled. “Though your little girl voice is silly.”
Harold grinned. “I never got any practice at being a little girl, but I have been in a smoky place once or twice.”
“Have you had a fall of soot?”
Harold recognised a definite attempt to spin out bedtime. “No, because I’m not a Dragon. Come on, sleepy time if you’ve had enough reading.”
“Not until the little girl and the little Dragon are friends, and the love in his heart makes his fire hot enough.” Daisy opened the book and pointed at the page. “We were here.” Definitely an attempt at extras since Harold read this story two nights ago. Harold went with it because Sharyn waited downstairs with sister-questions. He read until the little Dragon breathed his flame and promised to be best friends forever.
