He marched me backward and tumbled me onto the mattress. I stared up at him, in awe of me. This. Us.
I was briefly afraid, anxiety creeping in. What would he do when he found out I was pregnant? Would he guess?
I thought maybe I could actually fall in love with him, and I wasn’t sure if that was awesome or horrible.
But he reached out and stroked my face and I knew it was awesome. This wasn’t a fairy tale. It was real and messy and he had great qualities and he had flaws. Like anyone. Like me. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and for once, it didn’t matter to me. I had here, now, with him.
Christian pulled my panties down and removed his jeans. Then he climbed onto the bed and went straight back to kissing me, teasing his fingers between my thighs.
“What do you want?” he asked me, his cock hard against my leg.
“I want you,” I murmured, wishing he was already inside me. That finger was only making me crazy, not satisfying me in the least.
“Want me how?” He lazily sucked at my nipple. He was clearly torturing me on purpose.
“I want you in me.”
“You want my cock in your pussy?”
I shifted restlessly. He was barely touching me now, his lips brushing over my nipple like a feather, his finger teasing my clit. “Yes.”
Without warning Christian slipped his hands around my waist and rolled us so I was on top of him. My hair and breasts spilled over him. The hair he tucked behind my ear. The breasts he cupped.
“Ride me, princess,” he urged. “Get on my cock and take it.”
I hadn’t thought I was into directions, but with Christian, there was just something about his forcefulness that turned me on so much. Adjusting my hips, I dropped down onto him, moaning deeply when my body joined his. “You’re so huge.”
He groaned too. “And you’re tight. Damn, baby. Your pussy feels so good. It’s swollen.”
Thank you, pregnancy blood flow. Holy shit, I could barely breathe it felt so sensitive and amazing. I tentatively moved, afraid I might actually come already. I didn’t want to go over the edge too soon, but wow, this was a lot of man in me, particularly at this angle.
“Sit up,” he urged. “I want to see your tits.”
Of course he did. They had taken on epic proportions in the last month. But I was happy to give him the view he wanted. I sat up, and using my hips I ground down onto him, pleased at how in tune with my body I suddenly felt. Christian gave my ass a little slap. It shocked me and I jerked, but it didn’t hurt. Not really. It was just a quick sting. He did it again on the other side.
“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless. It felt kind of…good.
“I told you I was going to spank you.” He swatted me again. His expression wasn’t smug or even playful. It was intense, sexy. The corner of his mouth turned up. “You’re a naughty girl, remember?”
Now he was creating a light rhythm with his hand, a teasing touch more than a genuine spanking, and there was something about the sound, that skin on skin, that was surprisingly sexy. It was undulating waves of pleasure.
I stared down at him, our eyes locked. “Christian…”
“Yeah, princess?” he murmured, his voice rough and excited.
“I’m going to come, is that okay?” I have no idea why I asked him for permission. It just felt important to share that with him. To let him know so he changed absolutely nothing about what he was doing because I would die if he stopped.
“Oh hell fucking yeah, it’s okay.” He palmed my breast and squeezed as I exploded, a cry involuntarily bursting from me as wave after wave of tight pleasure crashed over me.
He let me go until the end, before he stopped smacking my ass, grabbed my hips with a firm grip, and took over the movement. He pounded up into me and I bounced on him, our pace frantic and hot. I just held my hair back and let him take me for a ride, stunned when I had another orgasm so close to the first.
Christian came right after me, his teeth gritted, his eyes briefly drifting shut. “That was worth the wait,” he said when we had both settled down.
“See?” I said, feeling triumphant and giddy and very female. All woman. “Told you.”
He slapped my ass again. “Tease.”
“I can’t believe I actually liked being spanked,” I said, and I meant it. That was crazy. “Does that mean I would like other stuff too? I’m being serious. I’m not trying to be flirty about it.”
He grinned. “I guess we’ll have to investigate.”
I slipped off of him with a sigh and settled down on the bed beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Just not butt stuff.”
“Bella.”
“Yes?” I leaned up to look at him, hoping he wasn’t going to try to talk me into anal right away.
But he just put his finger to his lips. “Shh. Don’t say ‘butt stuff.’ In fact, just stop talking about what you don’t want. All I want to hear is what you do want, okay? Let’s start there.”
“Okay, that’s fair.” I studied his face, noticing for the first time he had a scar by his eyebrow. “How did you get this?” I asked, running my finger lightly over it.
“Cain pushed me off the slide when we were three.”
“Then Sophie and Cain are meant for each other, because Sophie did that to me too. Only it was the merry-go-round. She wanted to see if it would go faster without my body weight on it.”
Christian laughed. “Your sister is something else.”
I yawned. “That’s one way to put it. She doesn’t mean any harm though. She’s just insanely curious.”
“Can you spend the night?” he asked, squeezing my waist.
That warmed me from the inside out. “I’d love to.”
* * *
—
Being with Bella was a whole new experience for me. Besides Camp, she was all I thought about. I wasn’t sure why exactly, but I didn’t hate it either, which shocked me. I’d spent my whole twenties avoiding a relationship and now I’d fallen into one and I really fucking liked it. Maybe it was just Bella. She was so genuine and giving. Damn, was she giving. I adjusted my dick as I went up her walkway.
It was as if the girl who didn’t like oral for all those years needed to make up for lost time. I couldn’t turn around without her going down on me. It was like hitting the sexual lottery. Instead of having to coax, she was always offering. She seemed to have discovered the power of the blow job. She could bend me to her will with that little mouth of hers wrapped around me sucking eagerly.
I paused, thoughts crowded with her.
Now I was really hard.
God, I was a lucky motherfucker. It hit me hard. She pulled open the door to her cottage, gave me a bright, “Hi!” and bounced down the two steps to the walkway, pulling the door behind her.
Bella did everything with a bounce. It was her signature personality trait. She just…bounced. Tonight she was wearing a ruffled shirt that was off her shoulders, which covered her chest more than I would’ve liked, but she made up for it by wearing very short shorts. She had curled her long blond hair so it also bounced when she walked. She was tall and tan and gorgeous and she was mine.
“Hi,” I murmured, pulling her into my arms when she would have just walked past me to the car.
“Oh!” she said when I buried my head in her neck and kissed her smooth flesh. “Someone is happy to see me.”
I took her hand and put it on my cock. “Yes, I am.”
“Hello, big boy.” Then she pulled her hand back. “But I have neighbors, silly. Get control of yourself.”
“I can’t help myself. It’s your fault for being so gorgeous.”
Now she rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Christian? You’re laying it on pretty thick.”
“It’s true,” I said. Then I realized she really had no clue h
ow I felt about her. I needed to be more clear. I needed her to know. “Hey, Bel?”
“Yes?” She watched me curiously, open-minded, trusting.
Lacing my fingers through hers, I said, “I want this to be real. You and me. Not just dating—but an us. I just want to be clear about that in case you didn’t know or were wondering.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon?”
Well, that wasn’t the response I had been hoping for. “Too soon because of Bradley or too soon after we started dating?”
She opened her mouth to respond but then I decided I didn’t want to dissect any of that. I put my fingers over her lips. “Never mind. No matter what you’re referring to the answer is no. I don’t think it’s too soon. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I kind of avoid relationships at all costs. So if I feel this way, then it’s not too soon. It’s meant to be.”
Bella cupped my cheeks and gave me a soft kiss that nearly destroyed me.
“I would love to be your girlfriend. Officially.”
Girlfriend. Huh. I guess that’s what I was suggesting. It didn’t horrify me. In fact, I liked the sound of that. That didn’t mean I had a clue what to say now though.
But Bella being Bella, she let me off the hook. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything else. And if you would like to touch my boob right now, that’s fine too.”
And this was why I loved this woman.
Relieved, I cupped her tit and gave her a kiss.
Holy shit, I loved her.
* * *
—
It amazed me how well I had learned to read Christian in such a short amount of time. Revealing his feelings for me had been a huge leap of faith for him, and an almost painful confession. So even while my heart soared and I wanted to jump and down and make a huge deal out of it, I told him to touch my boob instead because he needed an out. A mask. To take it back to sex. I was okay with that, because I understood him. I was just happy he had even said anything. I had been anticipating going on the way we had been without ever bringing up feelings.
As he kissed me, I sighed into his embrace, confident about my decision to hold off on revealing my baby news. That would shove him over the edge, no doubt. Too much emotion, change, all at once.
I would just let it ride for a hot minute.
For once in my life, I just wanted to enjoy living in the here and now.
With my new boyfriend. Who I happened to be really into.
Chapter 16
My father was right. I could never fake my own death because I sucked at subterfuge. I have no idea why I thought wearing sunglasses was going to prevent someone in the drugstore from recognizing me, but that was my hope. I felt like the pharmacist was being very loud when he asked me if I had any questions.
“No, I’m fine,” I said, clearing my throat.
“Some women get upset stomachs with these particular prenatal vitamins so you want to take them with food.”
Boom. There it was. Prenatal. Right out in the open. “Thanks.” I took the bag and turned, ready to bolt as if I was buying something illegal.
Unfortunately, it was worse than buying street drugs, because I came face-to-face with Ali, who Christian had told me was still in town but not really communicating with him. “Oh!”
Her eyes were narrowed and she glanced at the bag in my hand. “You’re pregnant? Congratulations.”
I flat-out panicked. I could not have this person know about the baby before Christian. I could not let him find out from her or someone else. So I told the world’s dumbest lie. “Oh, these are for my sister.”
The minute it came out of my mouth I hated myself for being so stupid. She was Cain’s ex-girlfriend. She knew Cain and Sophie were dating, so she would assume Sophie was pregnant by Cain. Which might bother her.
Shit. I was going to have to call my sister and tell her what was going on. Kennedy was still the only one who knew I was pregnant because I was worried that Sophie would tell Cain. Who would tell Christian.
“How are you?” I asked her politely, while inside wishing she would die a terrible death. I knew she had not asked to see Camp. Not even once. Which made me legitimately hate her.
She ignored the question. “I hear you’re dating Christian. I feel like I should get to know you better since you’re spending time with my son.”
That was just the ballsiest statement I had ever heard. “I don’t see Camp that often. Christian doesn’t feel it’s appropriate for him to see us as a couple when our relationship is new.”
Ali rolled her eyes. “So basically he’s just fucking you.”
That made me so angry I didn’t even hesitate. The perfect insult just flew out of my mouth. “No. Not at all. But since Camp has already been abandoned by his mother, Christian doesn’t want to risk him getting attached to a mother figure too soon.”
It was a direct hit and it felt so good.
Her jaw dropped.
It was very satisfying.
I left the drugstore, triumphant.
But when I hit the sidewalk, I called Sophie. “Okay, I screwed up,” I told her when she answered.
“Screwed up how?”
“I accidentally told Ali you’re pregnant.” I bit my fingernail and fast-walked down the sidewalk, glancing behind me like the hounds of hell might be on my tail. Which was basically Ali.
There was a pause. “What? One, why were you talking to Ali? Two, I am not pregnant.”
“But I am, and she saw me picking up my prescription after my first doctor’s appointment and I didn’t want her to know I’m pregnant so I blurted they were for you only that is totally stupid because she is Cain’s ex.”
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yes, about eight weeks.”
We all know Sophie is no dummy. Math is her thing. It took her about 1.1 seconds to say, “Christian? Holy shit, Bel.”
“I know, right?” I cut across the street to where I had parked my car. My father had arranged to have it brought from Boston, which I really appreciated. “I haven’t told him yet though, so you can’t tell Cain.”
“Why haven’t you told him? Is it because you know he is basically going to lose his shit entirely?”
I beeped my car unlocked. “I don’t know that he’ll do that. I mean, he has a son already. What is another one?” I instantly realized how naïve that sounded.
My sister clearly thought so as well because she didn’t say anything.
“Okay, so maybe he won’t be thrilled, but we are dating. So this isn’t exactly a tragedy. For me, anyway. I’m actually really happy.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” she said flatly. “Do pregnancy hormones diminish your intelligence? Bel, you have to tell him. He needs to adjust to this reality.”
“I will. Soon.” Eventually—when it became too obvious when I was naked. “Right now he just thinks I’m eating too many doughnuts and I’m gaining weight.”
For some reason that made her laugh. “Are you for real? Oh my God, you are seriously too much. But I’m happy you’re happy. Though I question why you weren’t using birth control.”
“We were. For the most part. There might have been a tip a time or two.” I got into the hot car and turned it on, cranking the air-conditioning.
“A tip a time or two? I’m going to have a sample stitched and hung in your child’s bedroom with that on it. Even drunk as shit, Cain never came near me without a condom. It leads me to believe Camp really is Christian’s.”
“Probably. Not that it matters.”
“So if Ali tells Christian I’m pregnant, please assure me you will not go along with that charade. That you’ll fess up to the truth.”
“I promise.” But I crossed my fingers behind my back. I felt like I needed Christian to say “I love you” before I told him about the baby.
“Are your fingers crossed behind your back?”
“Damn it, how do you know that?” Sophie was too observant, even on the phone. It was annoying.
“It was just a high statistical probability. I guessed. Do not let your boyfriend think I am pregnant. I will be very annoyed with you. Because if Cain hears, I think he would actually be happy with news like that and then he’ll be disappointed, and I can’t have anything testing his sobriety yet.”
Well, when she put it like that. “Fine, I won’t. Sorry, I just panicked. I hate that girl so much. She’s a megabitch.”
“Agreed.”
She was also aggressive as hell. By the time I got to work twenty minutes later Christian waved me over to the bar. He looked worried. “Sophie is pregnant? Does Cain know?”
Shit. “Why would you think Sophie is pregnant?” I said, stalling for time. My mind was racing. I was not going to tell him I was pregnant here at the bar. Gross. I had planned to do a whole event. Like a gender reveal, only a pregnancy announcement. I wanted to wrap up the stick, give it to him with little tiny work boots, like he always wore. Along with a T-shirt for Camp that said Big Brother. Cute stuff. Not blurted out at work.
But given Sophie’s reaction to what she thought Christian would do, maybe that was the wrong tactic anyway. That was sort of the “I’m going to strong-arm you into liking this by being adorable.” It had worked at various points in my life, but maybe this wasn’t one of them.
“Ali just texted me.”
“What a bitch,” I exclaimed. “I just saw her half an hour ago.”
“So, you did tell her Sophie is pregnant? I repeat, does Cain know?” Christian leaned onto the bar so he could study me closer.
I was a terrible liar. My mouth worked. “Sophie isn’t pregnant. I only told Ali that because she was annoying me.”
“Bella. That is kind of a big thing to be making up.”
“It just slipped out. She is so horrid.”
“That’s true. But why would that even come up?”
“No reason.” I was squirming, legitimately shifting around in my shoes, wanting to just run away. “I should get to work.”
The Breakup Page 20
